by Laura Burton
I sighed. April had always been good at reading me. I should have suspected that she’d see right through me.
“There’s this guy…” I started and April grinned. “It’s nothing yet. At least I don’t think it is,” I added.
“So tell me about him,” April suggested.
“He’s cute and sweet and charming in his own way. He signed up for my cooking class, the one I got hired to teach at the community center,” I explained.
“Oh! So he’s the one you’ve been tutoring… well well well.”
“Well nothing. He asked me out a few times, and I finally agreed. He took me to the fair yesterday but…”
“But what? He sounded like a sweetheart and you enjoy hanging out with him, don’t you?”
“I do, but there’s something… I don’t know what it is. I can’t explain it. I felt it again last night when I came back from the bathroom and he was talking to these two gorgeous girls. I don’t know him that well and...”
April cut me off. “And you’re scared. Girl, if he wanted to date those kind of girls, he would be. Let me remind you what dating is, it’s getting to know someone. He’s not going to hand you a recipe of his life so you can follow every ingredient.”
I rolled my eyes at her trying to make my dating life related to my love for all things culinary. The waiter showed up before I could speak, and we placed our drink orders before he went off to retrieve them.
“I don’t think I’m ready for anything serious,” I confessed.
“Then tell him that,” April said with a shrug.
“I don’t know.” I wasn’t sure what to do or how to do it. April made things seem easy enough, but I knew one thing for sure, matters of the heart were never easy.
Chapter 10
Mary
Every time I thought about Charlie, I thought about the two girls who were all giggles at the fair. The way they flirted with him so effortlessly. He smiled at them, sure, but as soon as I approached, he looked at me.
I want to believe he lit up the moment he saw me, but somewhere in the back of my mind; I knew it couldn’t be true.
These thoughts plagued my mind all day long. By the time I got to the community center, I knew what I had to do.
“Good evening,” Charlie greeted as I approached the door. “I hope you had a good day.”
I couldn’t help but smile when I saw Charlie’s face. He looked so happy and I felt instantly guilty that I would ruin his day.
“Evening,” I greeted with keys in hand. “My day wasn’t bad. How was yours?” I asked as I unlocked the door.
When I pulled it open, Charlie grabbed it above my head and held it open so I could go inside.
“It wasn’t bad. I got a bit anxious at times, ready for our cooking lesson. Are you ready for another week spent with me?” he asked, following me inside.
The door closed behind us, and I took a deep breath. For some reason, I thought it would have been better to wait until the end of the lesson to tell him. Now I was second guessing myself. We might not have time. More often than not, we ran late and the students for the general class showed up as we finished up.
I put my purse on the desk and turned to look at him. He must have sensed something was wrong because he stepped closer with a worried look spread across his face.
“We need to finish out the rest of your private lessons professionally,” I stated. My heart was hammering in my chest and I was forced to take a deep breath.
“Aren’t we always professional?” Charlie questioned.
“Yes, but I mean no more asking me out, no more flirting, and we should only talk about the class,” I explained.
Charlie scratched the back of his head, and I took a deep breath.
“Okay,” he finally said. “But, can I ask what happened?”
I pressed my lips together. I knew I would have to explain myself, but I had hoped it was a perfect world and he would trust that I had reasons.
“We can’t see each other romantically,” I said.
“Why not? Are you seeing someone else?”
“What?” I gasped. “No.”
“Then what is it? Is it me? If you don’t like me, that’s fine Mary. You need to say that though and not hide behind excuses,” he urged.
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “It isn’t you.”
He stepped closer and put his hands on my arms. “Then talk to me.”
I looked from one of his hands to the other before looking back at his face. “It’s me.”
It was the definition of cliche, and I knew it. I could tell him how scared I was or how I wasn’t ready to dive into anything serious, but I knew he could talk me into going slow. No, it was better to rip the bandaid off.
Charlie shook his head and took a step back. “I don’t believe that, but I respect your wishes.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but he took another step back. I didn’t know what he was doing, and I felt like I was losing my grasp on the situation.
“Where are you going?” I asked as soon as I noticed him take another step toward the door.
“I don’t think I should be here,” he answered. He stopped when he reached the door and I took a step in his direction.
“What about your lesson?” I felt so confused. I naively thought things wouldn’t change between us. Well, except we wouldn’t go out anymore. We’d talk about food and have fun.
Charlie shook his head and brushed some fallen hair from his face. “I don’t think I’m up for one tonight.”
“But…” I said but stopped when I watched him step through the door and disappear into the hallway.
I waited a second before I went to the door and looked down either direction. There was no one there, and it surprised me he left. There was also a bit of disappointment in my heart. I didn’t want him to go. I didn’t want him to walk out like that because it felt like he was walking out of my life.
“It’s okay,” I tried to tell myself. “This was what you wanted.”
It wasn’t, but it was as close as I would get.
I turned back to the classroom and looked around. I had a few hours until students would show up. I needed to find something to do.
After getting a few pans out, I ignored the ingredients we would use during the private lesson. Instead, I went for something sweet. I needed chocolate in my life in hopes of making things better.
The two hours dwindled down, and I only noticed them while waiting for my cookies to bake. I ended up making a quadruple batch. Some for me and some for the rest of the class.
“Good evening,” one of the ladies said as she came into the classroom a few minutes before six.
“Good evening,” I replied, putting some cookies onto a cooling rack.
“It smells delicious in here,” the woman said as she put her purse down on a table.
“Thank you. It’s chocolate chip with walnut cookies. I added a special ingredient. Go ahead and try one if you’d like. I made a tray for the class,” I said, pointing to the cookies with the spatula.
“Don’t mind if I do,” she giggled. She took a cookie off the tray and had a bite. I watched as she chewed for a second and then grinned. “This is really good.”
“I’m glad you enjoy it,” I said with a small smile.
The last of the cookies were cooling, and I had the dishes soaking. I had my bag of cookies hidden in the small desk and welcomed all the new arrivals to come back to try one.
As I stood there, talking with everyone who came to get a cookie, I kept hoping to see a familiar face walk in. He never did.
He didn’t even show up for the class.
My heart sank.
Chapter 11
Mary
I don’t know how long I’d been sitting on my couch. But the weather hadn’t changed since I got up. The rain was getting worse, pounding on the roof, the windows, everything it touched. What it looked like outside is how I felt on the inside.
I was miserable.
“It’s your own doing,” I reminded myself as I fell to the side and buried my face against the end pillow. I pulled the blanket up from my lap and covered my face.
Things ended before they really began between Charlie and I because of me. I got scared and refused to be hurt. It was much better to push away those that try to get too close. Well, not everyone. I let my friends get close. It was only those that showed romantic interest got shoved as far away as possible.
“Everything will be fine.” I tried to convince myself that I did the right thing. Charlie seemed to understand. He might not like it but eventually, he’d see this was the better option.
If this was the best thing, then why did I feel so crummy? Why I did I feel like my heart was literally in pieces?
I rolled over onto my back and stared up at the ceiling. The rain was pounding so hard on the roof I waited for it to cave in around me. It’s how my life felt at the moment. A bit dramatic, but I broke my own heart. I wanted to wallow.
A knock at the door jarred me from my thoughts. At first, I thought maybe it was just the weather, but then the knocking started up again.
I got up and went to the door. I opened it a little and was surprised to see April standing on the other side.
“Are you going to let me in?” she asked. “I’m like a drowned rat out here.”
I opened the door enough for her to come in before closing it behind her. She looked soaked to the bone.
“Let me get you some towels,” I said.
I went to the linen closet in the hallway, wondering why April was there. I’m sure my text about breaking things off with Charlie had something to do with it.
“Here you go,” I said, coming back with three large towels. “I can get you some clothes if you need to change.”
“I think I’ll be okay,” she said, taking a towel to dry her hair. “So…”
“So,” I repeated.
“What’s going on? Why’d you end things with Charlie? I thought you were going to let him know you didn’t want anything serious and take things slow.” She eyed me as she dried off with a fresh towel.
There wasn’t much for me to say, so I shrugged my shoulders and moved back to the couch. I slumped down and leaned forward to bury my face in my hands.
“I got the feeling you really liked him,” April continued, taking a seat in the chair nearby.
“I do and that’s the problem.”
“You make things way too complicated. If you like him, be with him.” April was giving me one of her looks.
“You know I can’t do that.” I slouched back against the couch and sighed.
“All because you’re afraid of getting hurt. Do you know that’s a part of life?”
I sighed and tried not to think about what she said. It was better to live life and not experience the kind of pain I can imagine would happen if I loved someone.
“Why are you so scared to fall in love?” April asked as if reading my thoughts.
“I don’t know,” I whispered.
“You need to get it figured out,” April stated. “This isn’t healthy. You have to let people in. You have to be willing to give your heart away with the chance it might be returned to you in pieces.”
I flinched at the idea of my heart being broken, and I didn’t think I could do it. “I don’t think it’s worth it.”
“What isn’t? Love? Love is the most beautiful thing in the world. The person you fall in love with will become your best friend, the one for you to turn to for everything whether it’s good or bad, the one person you can count on,” April said with a happy sigh.
“Until they, as you said, return your heart in a million pieces,” I reminded.
“Not every love is going to do that,” April argued. “I’d rather go through a million loves than not experience it once.”
“Good thing, I’m not you.”
“What is your problem, Mary? Seriously. Why are you so against happiness?”
I shrugged my shoulders.
“You had a great childhood. Your parents love you and never let you go without. Why did you grow up to be so cynical? People…Charlie deserves a chance. He has been nothing but sweet to you, and it’s completely unfair that you automatically assume he’s going to hurt you. He doesn’t deserve that. You wouldn’t appreciate being labeled something you’re not.” April went off on her tangent and I listened to every word.
“You really want to know?” When she nodded I blurted out, “The last time I liked a boy, he lied to me, hurt me, and broke my heart into a million pieces.” There. I’d finally said it. I’d finally admitted to my best friend that. I was scared of letting myself be hurt. I was scared of putting myself out there. I was scared of not being liked. I was scared of being lied to.
How was it worth it?
I just didn’t know.
It was better to be safe than sorry. Right?
Chapter 12
Charles
Not knowing what Mary wanted was mind numbing. She seemed to have fun at the fair and every time we were together. Now she wanted to be more professional?
We were on a roller coaster. The highs were good, and when she came back down; she pushed me away.
I don’t think I can keep going on this ride. Not with my heart involved so much. She stole it without me realizing it and now I had to figure out how I would get it back.
Before I got my love life, or lack there of, fixed, I needed to talk to my editor. I made progress, but not enough to keep up this charade.
A knot formed in my stomach as I got closer. Everything inside of me said to turn the car around, I could make it work. I could figure it out.
My conscious wasn’t having it.
It didn’t take long for me to pull into the parking lot and find a spot. I drummed my hands on the steering wheel for a moment. If there was a way to draw on every bit of confidence I ever had in my life, I would do it right then.
I took a deep breath and told myself it was now or never.
As I entered through the front door, I smiled at the receptionist. I walked past the desk and to the bank of elevators along the right wall.
The ride up to the sixth—and top—floor felt like I was traveling halfway across the world. I suppose I should have been grateful it took its time. It gave me a chance to breathe and lean against the back wall.
I wished I had Mary to talk to. She would remind me we could do this. We could get through anything, I could picture her saying. The sad thing was she didn’t want that, and it didn’t settle well with me.
With the pit in my stomach, I walked off the elevator and entered the newsroom. Only a few heads lifted from their computers. Everyone else was busy typing away, and I preferred it that way. I didn’t want to bring any attention to myself.
I knocked on my boss’s open door. I waited in the doorway until he looked up at me. One hand was holding onto the phone, pressing it to his ear, while the other waved me in.
After closing the door behind me, I went over to take a seat and wait. I was still rehearsing what I wanted to say in my head and missed him greeting me the first time.
“Oh, sorry. I thought you were still on the phone,” I apologized.
“How are you doing? You look like a nervous wreck,” he said.
I chuckled. “I didn’t sleep well last night.”
“Moving to a new place always does that to people,” he replied with a chuckle of his own. “I’m glad you came in though. I have something I need to discuss with you.”
I swallowed hard. It was possible he realized I was a hack. Someone from the cooking class discovered where I worked and what my job was. Maybe Mary. No, I refused to believe she would do this.
Putting my focus back on the man across the table, I lifted an eyebrow. I was afraid to hear what he had to say and couldn’t bring myself to ask.
“It seems that upstairs wants to shake things up a bit,” he explained. “They don’t think we need a column solely dedicated to food. I know a bunch of us w
ere looking forward to the different things you were going to make for everyone to try.”
I smiled. If he only knew.
“Instead, they want something more focused on the community. That includes food, but other events. They also want different members of the community to be recognized for their good doing or accomplishments. Is that something you think you could handle?”
I let out a sigh of relief. “That would be perfect.”
“Excellent. I’ve already sent a few things to your email. We’d need a story right away, before next Sunday’s printing.”
“That won’t be a problem. I already have an idea. I need to make a few phone calls.” I stood up and was halfway to the door before I remembered to go back and shake the man’s hand. “Thank you.”
I left his office before he could say another word. Excitement was an understatement in that moment. I was beyond thrilled for the change of events and how I didn’t need to stress about recipes any longer.
The only thing left was to make a plan to win Mary’s heart and convince her that love was worth taking a chance.
The moment I sat down at my desk, I pulled up an internet browser and searched for different contacts. I knew what I had to do, but I hoped I had enough to get it all done.
Once I had a phone number, I punched the numbers on the phone as fast as I could.
“Hello, yes. My name is Charles Willow, and I work at The Gazette. I was wondering if you would be available next week for an event,” I said as soon as I got transferred to the right person.
The rest of the afternoon went by in a blur, but I had a plan. I knew what I needed to do, and I could only hope that Mary liked it.
I needed her back in my life.
Chapter 13
Mary
“Everyone please get ready,” I announced. There were still students rushing around the cafeteria, and they needed to find their places before I opened the doors. “Our guests will be arriving any minute.”
