“Our friend group is like 75% lesbians,” Reese said.
“And while I knew that, I honestly hadn’t thought about Kinsley in the longest time. I know that makes me sound like a bad friend, but you guys were ahead of me in school. Once you left, I was there on my own. I made new friends. Then, I went to law school and made more friends. I moved to Truckee after that and had my own life there. Moving back here has reconnected me to you guys, but Kinsley was always one of your friends that I hung out with, until the past few weeks.”
“And now you’d say she’s one of your friends?” Reese asked.
“She’s become one of my closest friends, oddly enough.”
“How’d that happen?” Kellan asked. “She’s helping you find a house still, right?”
“Yes. We saw one yesterday,” she answered. “It was kind of weird, though.”
“How so?” Reese asked.
“We’ve been hanging out a lot lately. We’ve had dinners, coffee, and just talked. It’s been nice. I was actually kicking myself for not realizing how great Kinsley was before and trying to spend more time with her. Yesterday, though, she was all business. She pointed and described and told me everything about this house that I like, but don’t love. Then, she left. And I haven’t talked to her since. She sent me an email today, asking if I’d talked to Elena about the house we saw. It’s just strange. We’ve been texting and talking on the phone regularly; and, now, I get an email.”
“That’s about the job, though,” Kellan said. “It’s her keeping that part of things professional, probably.”
“Does it bother you?” Reese asked her as she set down her carton.
“I don’t know. I guess it does.”
“Why?” Reese asked. “She’s doing a job for you, right?”
“Yes. But it’s been more than that, too. These past few weeks… It’s just been more.”
“More?” Kellan asked. “Are you and Kinsley–”
“What? No,” Riley objected. “We’re not.”
“Okay.” Kellan held up both hands after placing her carton next to her girlfriend’s. “It just seems like you two are getting close.”
“We are, but we’re just friends.”
Riley finished her dinner and said goodbye to her friends. When she went into her bedroom later that night, she had a text from Elena. It was her goodnight message. She was at an event and couldn’t call. At least she’d texted, though, Riley thought. Then, she thought about how nice Kinsley’s smile was, and how she’d already found out that her favorite ice cream was strawberry, preferably with sliced bananas on the side.
CHAPTER 9
“Hi,” Kinsley greeted Riley through the phone after stepping away from her client. “What’s up? Did you talk to Elena about the house?”
“Oh, hi.” Riley sounded strange, but Kinsley didn’t know why. “Not yet. She’s been pretty busy.”
“I’ve got another client that might be interested in it. I’m actually with him now. We’re at another house right now, but we saw that one this morning. He might try to–”
“Let him have it. It wasn’t a slam dunk for me, anyway,” Riley replied. “Listen, I was calling to see if you wanted to come over for dinner tonight.”
“Dinner?”
“Yes, at my place. I’m going to attempt to cook you something to thank you for always cooking for me.”
“Are you trying to burn down your apartment,” Kinsley said while laughing.
“No, I’ll be extra careful. What do you say?”
“I probably shouldn’t.”
“Why?” Riley asked.
Kinsley glanced behind her and found her client waiting and watching expectantly.
“Can I get back to you?”
“I’m at the store now. I was hoping to find out what you’d want me to make.”
Kinsley smiled at her client and held up her index finger to the impatient guy before she turned around and replied, “Whatever you want to make is fine. I’ll be there at seven. Is that okay?”
“Oh, yeah. That’s fine. Great. Okay,” Riley said all of that in rapid succession.
“I’ll see you then,” Kinsley replied hurriedly and hung up the phone. “Sorry about that.”
◆◆◆
Two hours later, Kinsley found herself standing at the door of Riley’s apartment, wondering how she’d ended up here. She’d done her best to try to avoid the woman in these kinds of situations. She had ducked out of her office a few minutes before ten in the morning every day the rest of this week. She felt terrible about doing it, but she needed some separation. She and Riley had become good friends recently. Riley had a girlfriend. Kinsley wanted Riley to be her girlfriend. It was all very confusing. Kinsley had done her best to keep things professional between them in order to figure out how she could just be a friend to Riley and want nothing more. Riley was making that difficult.
“Hey there,” Riley said when she opened the door. She smiled wide and looked Kinsley up and down. “Did you come straight from the office?”
“Yes. Is that okay?”
“Of course, it’s okay. Come in. I haven’t burned the place down yet. I did have a mild smoke detector issue about ten minutes ago, but I opened the windows and waved a towel. It’s fine now. Don’t mind the smoke smell.”
“You’re kidding, right?” Kinsley lifted an eyebrow.
“I’m half-kidding.”
Kinsley laughed and entered the apartment. She made her way to the living room, where she noticed a bottle of wine uncorked with two empty glasses next to it on the coffee table. There were also two candles lit on either side of that display. She looked to her right and saw the kitchen table set for two. There were candles on that table as well. Kinsley looked at Riley, who had made her way into the kitchen.
“Need any help in there?” Kinsley asked, following her in.
“Yes.” Riley laughed. “But no. I’m trying to do this myself.”
“Why? I can help.” Kinsley walked up next to Riley, who now stood in front of the stove.
“Are you worried I might kill you with my cooking and trying to save your own life?”
“Yes.” Kinsley nodded, earning another laugh from Riley.
“It’s pasta. I don’t think I can kill you with pasta.”
“You might be the first person in history to murder someone with pasta,” Kinsley replied.
“Go pour the wine,” Riley ordered while laughing.
Kinsley obeyed and made her way toward the living room. She smiled as she poured red wine into glasses. It all felt so perfect to her. This felt like a date between two women that were getting to know one another. She had to put that out of her mind. She had to find a way to think of Riley only as her friend.
“So, how’s Elena?” Kinsley asked. That should do it. “What didn’t she like about the house? It’ll help me narrow down the search.”
“She’s fine.” Riley entered the living room. “She didn’t say, specifically. She just didn’t like it.”
“Oh,” Kinsley replied. “It’s kind of a slow process without feedback, Riley. Does she understand that?”
“She does. I tried to get her–” A sound came from the kitchen. “Shit.”
Riley ran toward it. Kinsley followed her. The pan had boiled over, thrusting foamy water onto the burner and stove, surrounding it at the same time as the saucepan also boiled over, causing a vibrant red to join the water and speckle the white stovetop.
“I’ve got it.” Kinsley moved quickly, having dealt with this kind of thing before.
“God, I’m sorry,” Riley replied and grabbed a towel. “I can’t do anything right these days, can I?”
“Riley, it’s just boiling over. It’s fine. It happens all the time.”
Riley began wiping at the sauce stains after turning the burner down. Kinsley lifted the pan lid and allowed the water to lower before she turned her burner down and reached for the fork next to the pan. She stirred the pasta briefly and turned her attenti
on to the sauce. Then, she placed her free hand on Riley’s hip to lightly move the woman out of her way. Kinsley stirred the sauce for a moment and looked up to smile at Riley in an attempt to reassure her. What she found was a beautiful woman with tears in her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Riley said after a moment.
“For what? Riley, what’s wrong?” Kinsley moved toward her, but Riley backed away and moved into the living room. “Hey, come on. Talk to me.”
“I wanted to cook a nice dinner for you, and I messed it up. God, I can’t even get pasta right. What’s so hard about it? Put pasta in water. Boil water.”
“Actually, its boil the water first, and then put the pasta in.” Kinsley met Riley’s glare. “But that’s not important. Let’s sit down. The food isn’t ruined.”
Riley wiped at her eyes and sat on the sofa. Kinsley joined her a moment later.
“The sauce came in a jar.” Riley wiped a few stray tears and turned her face to Kinsley’s.
“I know, Riles. The jar is still on the counter.” Kinsley smiled at the woman, reached for her cheek, and wiped a rogue tear away.
Riley laughed, but it wasn’t a real laugh. It was a laugh that held back a light sob. She smiled at least, though it was weak. Then, she looked over at Kinsley, who had no idea what to do now. Riley was still so beautiful even when she cried.
“Elena and I aren’t doing well,” she said finally. “We hardly talk these days. I get a text every night, if I’m lucky, and a phone call every few days, where all we do is fight.” She paused to try to gather herself. “I moved back here for a few reasons. I wanted to spend more time with my family, as my parents get older. They aren’t even here right now and won’t be back for a while. My two brothers have both moved away. In fairness, they both did that before I moved here. But they used to come home a lot because our parents were here. And now, they’re not. So, my brothers aren’t just going to come here to visit me. They’re busy, too.” She glanced at the wine glass on the table, picked it up, and took a sip. “I moved here to start my own practice, but I could have done that in Truckee, too. It’s going well. I like my work. I always have.”
“But?”
“But I wanted to move here and settle down. I planned on having Elena here for that. And now, she’s not even coming for a visit. She’s too busy.”
“I thought she was going–”
“We made this plan that she would come here and help narrow down the house options, spend time together, since we rarely see one another, and then pick where we’d live out the rest of our lives together. I just don’t think that’s going to happen.”
“Because she’s running for governor?” Kinsley asked and leaned back against the sofa.
“When we first started dating, we thought it would be short-term.” Riley took another drink of her wine and placed the glass back down. “We figured we had three good months together. I’d return home, and that would be the end of it.”
“That obviously didn’t happen,” Kinsley said and reached forward for her own wine. She suddenly had the need to consume alcohol. “How’d it keep going then?”
“We talked a few weeks after I got back. It was one phone call, but we talked for hours, and it changed everything.” Riley smiled, but it still didn’t meet her eyes. “We decided to try long-distance. For a while, it was great. It was what I needed. I was just starting out at work. Things were hectic. It might be weird to say this, but I kind of liked that I could have a girlfriend but also have my place to myself at the same time. There’s no pressure to go out on a date or make plans. We each had our own lives, but we also had each other. It worked for us.”
“What changed?” Kinsley asked with another drink.
“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I guess, it got to a point where it wasn’t enough for me. I asked her to move here because I couldn’t move there. There would be no point. She’s not out and doesn’t seem to want to be there. We made an agreement that she could start over here. I thought that was what she wanted. But now, when we fight all the time, she keeps bringing up that it’s what I wanted.”
“So, you changed, and she didn’t,” Kinsley stated.
“What do you mean?”
“Your visions changed. That’s normal, isn’t it? You want one thing when you start dating. Then, as time goes on, you want something else.”
“And she doesn’t, it seems.” The woman placed her head back on the sofa. “Maybe I should just move there and be a governor’s mistress.”
“What? No way.” Kinsley set her wine glass down. “Riles, you’re not someone’s mistress. You’re not someone’s dirty little secret. You’re someone’s girlfriend, and you deserve to be treated like that. God, Riley, you deserve so much,” she said, and her voice broke at the end.
Riley stared into her eyes for a moment, and Kinsley wasn’t sure if maybe there was recognition there. Then, Riley smiled at her.
“I’m always such a disaster around you.” She slapped Kinsley’s knee lightly.
“Really? I think I’m always such a disaster around you.”
“No, you’re not,” Riley replied. “Why would you think that?”
“Giant chunk of bagel in my mouth and cream cheese all over my chin.”
Riley laughed loudly at that and replied, “Did you mutter ‘mother fucker’ under your breath that day?”
“I did, yes.” Kinsley chuckled. “I couldn’t believe you’d chosen that moment to walk into my office, looking how you always look; and me, looking like someone who hadn’t eaten in a month and doesn’t know how to chew properly.”
“How I always do?” Riley asked.
Kinsley gulped and replied, “You’re always so put-together, Riles. You have this way about you that just – I don’t know – gets me.” She paused and looked down at her own hands in her lap. “It always has. You just always seem confident to me and put-together. I’m always sitting on a stain on some futon or wearing a wrinkled shirt.”
Riley just kept staring at her. Kinsley could feel it. She couldn’t meet Riley’s eyes, but she could feel her.
“I think you’re put-together, Kinsley. I think you’re very well put-together,” Riley replied.
Kinsley looked up at that and met Riley’s searching eyes. She bit her lower lip, because her instincts told her that this was the perfect moment to kiss Riley Sanders for the first time. Her body wanted it. Her mind wanted it. Her heart wanted it. And, God, her soul wanted it.
“Riley, we should have dinner.” Kinsley moved to stand, but Riley’s hand met her forearm.
“We should talk,” the woman replied. “I have some decisions I have to make.”
“Like, what to have for dinner now, because that pasta is most definitely ruined?” Kinsley asked, trying to lighten the mood.
“Not exactly,” Riley answered with a look that lacked assurance. “Bigger decisions; like, about my relationship.”
Kinsley wanted to kiss her again. Riley’s lips looked like they were made for kissing. She’d thought that long ago, when they’d first met. She still thought that now. But Riley wasn’t her girlfriend. Riley had a girlfriend named Elena. They’d been together for three years. They were going through a rough patch in their relationship, but Kinsley wouldn’t take advantage of that.
“I’m sure you guys will work it out,” Kinsley replied.
“I got strawberry ice cream and bananas for dessert, Kinsley,” Riley shared. “For you.”
Kinsley looked down at those lips again before her eyes met Riley’s.
“I can’t be a substitute girlfriend to you, Riles.” She couldn’t believe she just said that, but it had slipped out before Kinsley could stop herself. She’d said it softly, but she’d still said it. “It’s starting to feel like that for me, and it can’t be that.”
“You’re not a–”
“I know. I know. But it’s starting to feel that way, and it can’t feel that way, because I…” She didn’t say anything for a long moment. “Do you know
why it hurt so much when you didn’t remember I was gay?”
“I didn’t forget. I just–”
“Because I liked you, Riley. Back then, I had such a crush on you. You were eighteen, and I was twenty-one. It was stupid – and it doesn’t matter now – but I did. I liked you.”
“I didn’t know that.” Riley turned to her.
“I didn’t tell you,” Kinsley said. “We’ve been hanging out a lot recently, Riley. I’m worried it’s not just a crush for me. I don’t want to get hurt, and I think that’s what’s going to happen if we keep doing this stuff. It just feels so much like a date, sometimes.”
“Is that why you haven’t been around for coffee and didn’t want to do dinner?” Riley asked.
“Yes,” Kinsley answered honestly. “And I should probably go, because this is getting really awkward.” She laughed in an attempt to lighten the mood. “You’re in a relationship.” She stood. “I shouldn’t be the one wiping your tears away. She should be.”
Kinsley turned and began walking toward the door.
“But she’s not,” Riley said.
CHAPTER 10
Riley stood and stared at the back of Kinsley’s body. The woman had yet to turn around.
“I’m going to go, Riles. I’ll see you around,” Kinsley said.
“Kinsley, wait.”
The door unlocked the moment Riley made her way to Kinsley and attempted to take her hand. She hadn’t been expecting anyone. Three people had the key to the apartment. Her father had one, but he was out of the country. Kellan had one, but she had no reason to just stop by, and she hadn’t ever done so uninvited. The only other person, who could unlock the door like that, was her girlfriend.
“Hey, babe.” Elena opened the door and met Riley’s eyes before glancing at Kinsley and their slightly linked but not entwined hands. “And someone I don’t know.”
“Elena, what are you doing here?” Riley asked and dropped Kinsley’s hand.
“I’m here to see my girlfriend. I thought I’d surprise you. I didn’t know you’d have company.” Elena made her way quickly into the living room, leaving her roller bag by the door as if she’d done it a thousand times before, and approached Kinsley. “I’m Elena; Riley’s girlfriend. And you are?”
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