by Laura Drewry
Wide-eyed, Finn waited a second after she stopped yelling to see if there was anything else she could possibly still get out on that one breath.
“Is that all?” Too slow to dodge her backhand, he laughed quietly, stretched his legs out across the coffee table, and shrugged. “For the record, there’s nothing wrong with mac and cheese once in a while.”
“Finn!”
“What? I’m just sayin’—a little salsa, maybe some hot sauce…” He shouldn’t laugh at her, but listening to her buzz on like that, what else could he do? If he had half that shit running through his head, his brain would explode. “I think it’s possible you might be overthinking this just a touch.”
“Really?” she grunted. “Then, please, feel free to give me your take on the whole thing.”
“Okay.” He folded his hands over his stomach. “Let’s see. You and Sam were…whatever…but it wasn’t anything serious.”
“No.”
“And it’s over. Like over over.”
“Yes.”
“And so…what? You think he wants to start something when he gets here?”
“I don’t know. Maybe?”
“Maybe?”
“Well, I didn’t at first, but then he got kind of weird and nervous, and he said…” She huffed out another breath, this time cocking her jaw to the side and rolling her eyes for effect. “He said he still thinks I’m amazing.”
“So that’s a yes.”
Jess lifted her hands as Finn rested his head against the couch.
“How much and what kind of time does he want to spend with you?” He tried to rein in the possessive tone, but by the look on Jess’s face, he’d failed miserably.
“Well, I doubt very much he’s intending to pick out china patterns,” she snapped. “But he’s probably not expecting to find me making out with you, either.”
“Making out?” Finn chuckled quietly. “Trust me, sweetheart, we haven’t even come close to making out yet.”
“Whatever!”
“And you think if you blow him off before they shoot here that that’ll screw things up for us?”
“If by ‘us’ you mean the Buoys, then yes. He’s all horned up about getting out on the water with ‘the fish whisperer.’ ” Jess lifted her hands and finger-quoted the words. “And we need to do whatever we can to make that happen, because Liam’s money from the A’s isn’t going to last long around here, so we need to do whatever we can to build up a cushion.”
Finn couldn’t argue with that; the Buoys was managing to squeak by but only because Olivia was the only one cashing her paychecks.
“Look,” Jess said. “Sam wouldn’t tell me what he wanted to talk about, and maybe I should have pushed, but I was a little busy trying to wrap my head around what he was saying while you were standing there…being you and distracting me…so for all I know, he might only be interested in Grandma Todd’s cinnamon roll recipe.”
“It is a good recipe.” Finn’s chuckle died halfway off his tongue. “You’re right about all of that; it would be huge for us to get Hooked here every year, but that doesn’t mean you need to kiss up to him.”
“I know, but no matter what happens, it’ll probably make this first Hooked shoot a little less awkward for everyone if he doesn’t find out that his ex-girlfriend has something going on with the guy he’s stuck on a boat with for two days.”
She stopped, her exasperation changing to quick, nervous blinks.
“I mean, if that’s what we…if we have someth—not that I think—Shit! I don’t know what I mean.”
God, she was cute.
Finn bit down on the inside of his cheek for a second to keep from laughing at her. “Can I tell you something?”
“Anything.”
He loved how she said that so easily, without even the slightest hesitation.
“I really hate it when people call me the fish whisperer.”
“Yeah, I know.”
He rolled his head to the left so he could look straight at her. “You do?”
“Well, duh—you cringe every time someone says it.”
“No I don’t!”
“Yeah, right,” she said, snorting quietly. “Just like your eye doesn’t get all twitchy when you’re trying to keep something from me.”
And all this time he thought he’d done such a good job hiding those things.
“Can I tell you something else?”
“You’re really pushing your luck tonight, aren’t you?” Her sigh was long and loud and would have been much more effective if she hadn’t grinned the whole way through it. “Fine, but if this has anything to do with how many toppings you can use to dress up your mac and cheese, then keep it to yourself.”
“Funny, but no.” He laid his hand flat on top of hers, then threaded their fingers together. “I think your name sounds better when I say it, too.”
Jess’s smile faltered, wobbled, then broke across her face in a sheepish laugh.
“And,” he said, running his thumb over hers softly, “I should probably warn you right now that I’m not even a little bit happy about you spending any time alone with the cutest and sweetest guy you ever met.”
Jess squeezed his hand, which eased that tight Sam-knot a little.
“Relax. We’ll have coffee and catch up, and that’ll be that.”
“Have you seen you?” he asked. “Trust me, Sam’s not stupid; he’ll be wanting a hell of a lot more than coffee and a catch-up.”
“Okay, fine, he can have a cinnamon roll, too.”
She could joke all she liked, but Finn’s gut feelings were rarely wrong, and it sounded to him like Sam was after something.
“And I guess I should probably warn you,” she said, “that Kate and Olivia are pretty much Team Sam, so you should get used to the idea of them pushing me at him.”
He’d never get used to that.
“The only other option is to t-tell them.” Jess stuttered over a blink and seemed to force herself to smile, weak as it was. “But, I mean, let’s face it, we don’t even know if there’s anything to really tell yet, do we? And once people start finding out, there’ll be all kinds of questions and…and pressure. We don’t want that, do we?”
She was giving him a crutch and he’d be stupid to not take it. Sure, he wanted to say he didn’t care about the questions and pressure, that none of that mattered, but it did matter, because he’d never been anything but a freakin’ nightmare when it came to relationships. So until he was sure, until he could prove to her and himself that this was different—and it sure as hell felt different—then, yeah, it was probably best to keep it to themselves.
“No,” he finally muttered. “I guess you’re right.”
“Okay.” Her nod seemed too fast, too short. “We’ll keep it between us for now.”
“And what about Sam?”
“What about him?”
Finn didn’t answer, just stared at her until she rolled her eyes.
“I’m not going to blow him off, if that’s what you mean, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to get anything more than coffee—and don’t look at me like that. He might be damn cute, sure, and even though Kate and Olivia keep trying to convince me I just need to give it time, I’m pretty sure—”
“Pretty sure?” Finn grunted. “Well, as long as you’re pretty sure.”
“Seriously?” Jess jerked back, ripping her hand away from his, and started again, making sure she emphasized the first few words. “I’m pretty sure it’ll take him all of about two seconds to agree that whatever we had between us is done. But that doesn’t mean we can’t still be friendly.”
“Oh.” Fuck. Why did he have to be such an idiot?
“Yeah,” she chided. “ ‘Oh’ is right. It’s shit like that that keeps you from being the sweetest guy I ever met.”
Any normal guy would probably hate being reproached like that, but not Finn. He thought it was funny, thought she was funny.
“Sorry?” He posed it as a question bec
ause he wasn’t entirely sure what he was supposed to say right then. But when he inched his fingers over hers, she didn’t pull away, so that was good.
And it was even better when the corner of her mouth twitched against a smile.
“Sam would never get all pissy like that,” she said. “He’d be rational and calm and not interrupt until I was done speaking.”
“Because he’s sweet.”
“That’s right,” she said. “He is sweet.”
“And cute. Don’t forget cute.”
Jess’s eyes rounded as she nodded. “Really cute, actually.”
“That’s hard for a guy like me to compete with.”
“I know.” If she was trying to make that shrug appear indifferent, she should have stopped smiling. “But I suppose you have certain…qualities…that he doesn’t have.”
“Yeah?” He slid his hand around the side of her neck and tipped her face toward him. “Like what?”
He pressed the first kiss against her cheek, then worked his way slowly over the curve of her jaw. The instant his lips touched her neck, she speared her fingers through his hair and held him there, stuttering over a breath.
“Well,” she said, gasping when he brushed his tongue over her flaming skin. “L-like when you do that.”
Every time he kissed her, her breath caught in her throat, making that sexy little hitching sound as she arched into his touch, silently urging him to do it again.
So, yeah, sweet and cute could kiss Finn’s ass.
Chapter 11
“Between the devil and the deep blue sea.”
Jessie knew she wasn’t going to get any sleep, but she let Finn lead her downstairs anyway, trying—and failing—to calm the chaos in her head.
Did Finn want to sleep with her? Forget sleep, did he want to have sex with her? Of course he did—he was practically busting out of his shorts earlier. She sure as hell wouldn’t say no, but was it too soon? And if they did have sex, would it ruin everything or make it better? Did he have any protection? She knew he used to have a box of condoms in his bottom drawer, because she’d heard him tell Liam to help himself, but with the amount of time Liam and Kate spent alone, that box had to have been emptied out by now. No, wait—she had a couple left over from…Ugh. Now was not the time to be thinking about Sam.
As she hit the bottom step, she closed her eyes and exhaled slowly, wishing her hand wasn’t sweating so much.
“So…” She licked her lips, swallowed hard, and glanced up at him, hoping she didn’t look half as freaked out as she actually was. “I can’t believe we…that I…”
Instead of letting her finish, he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. Short and sweet at first, then longer and slower until she melted against him, until there was but one thought left in her head.
God, yes. Sex. Now. And right there on the stairs would be just fine, thank you very much.
But instead of stripping naked and getting down to it, Finn groaned quietly and pressed a soft lingering kiss against her forehead.
“Fifty shades of blue,” he muttered. “Probably more.”
Then, with a twisted, tortured smile, he backed down the hall to his room and closed the door behind him.
Jessie grabbed the handrail for support and stood there trying—and failing—to blink her senses back. Sex with Finn on the stairs? Was she crazy?
He hadn’t touched anything but her face, and yet that one touch had ignited her whole body to the point that she’d already pulled her pajama top off before she got in her room. Two seconds later, she had the bottoms off, too, and then flopped face-first onto her bed.
It didn’t matter; even without clothes on, she was still flaming hot. When was the last time a guy had gotten her so worked up so fast and so easily?
Jessie frowned against her pillow. No, seriously, when? She’d been worked up before, but she didn’t remember it ever happening that fast or that easily. Not. Even. Close.
“Holy shit, I’m in lust with Finn O’Donnell.”
Oh no, that couldn’t be good, could it?
Are you nuts! It was going to be reeeeaalllly good.
Groaning, Jessie flipped onto her back and pressed her hands against her eyes.
This whole thing was a mistake. She shouldn’t have kissed Finn, and she sure as hell shouldn’t be thinking about having sex with him on the stairs. That’s not how things happened with her.
But now that the idea had planted itself in her brain, she couldn’t seem to shake it. Stairs in general wouldn’t be comfortable, but those were hardwood, with nothing to cushion them, so they’d be exceptionally uncomfortable.
Finn would cushion them.
Stop it!
He’d barely touched her, so how the hell did he make her feel so many things all at the same time? And why the hell hadn’t anyone ever told her that it was possible to feel protected, safe, and un-freaking-believably turned on all at the same time?
No. No! She shouldn’t think about feeling safe or any of that other shit. She should focus on the sexy part of being with Finn, because then that’s all it would be: lust.
And she could handle that.
So why did her mind keep wandering back to standing out in the water with him earlier? She’d been almost paralyzed with fear before she went under the first time, but he’d been right there, strong and sure, exactly as he’d promised, and by the third or fourth time, some of the broken pieces inside her started to connect, to meld again.
And that’s when she realized she didn’t need just anyone to be out in the lake with her, she needed Finn. She needed his arms to catch her, needed his voice to whisper in her ear, so proud of her as he pressed that kiss against her head. And she really needed his eyes to fill with the same heat and longing she had burning inside her.
Even when she’d told him she hated him (which she didn’t mean for a second and instantly regretted), he held on to her a little tighter and gave her as much time as she needed to gather her strength again.
The crazy thing was, just knowing it was him helped her find it so much faster than she ever expected.
He’d pushed her when she’d needed him to but never once tried to rush her, even though it meant standing out there for so long. And the whole time, he’d hardly said a word.
It had been the first time anything or anyone had ever filled that empty quiet hole inside her. And that, right there, was going to be a problem, because up until that very moment she hadn’t realized how tightly that empty quiet hole was latched to her heart.
Bad bad bad. Like supersize-me bad. Like the only possible way this was going to end would be with Jessie brokenhearted and living in an East End apartment with forty-nine cats kind of bad.
She knew Finn wouldn’t mean to break her heart, but she also knew Finn was Finn, and just because he’d trusted her with what had happened with Maggie, that didn’t mean he’d gotten over it or that he’d ever believe a woman would stay with him.
That was why she offered him the out tonight. The second either of his brothers found out about them, the pressure would be on Finn to do the “right” thing, and she couldn’t let him be weighed down with that.
Had she been reckless by kissing him? Yes. But that was her choice, not his. Had she changed everything between them? Yup, no question, but standing out there in the lake with him, in that moment, the only things that mattered were the way the air crackled between them, the way his eyes pulled her in, and the way he held his breath until she brushed her lips against his.
Now, lying alone in her bed, she realized how much it all mattered. Even though Finn might have been feeling the same things for her, he never would have done anything about it if she hadn’t made the first move. And why? Because he’d never want to hurt her.
But she’d gone and not only put herself in that position, she’d dragged him in there with her. It would kill Finn to hurt her, she knew that, but it wasn’t something they could avoid now.
Unless…Yes! If she could keep hers
elf in check, make sure she was only ever in lust with him, there’d be no problem. Women did it all the time these days; they had perfectly fine sexual relationships without giving their hearts away, so there was no reason Jessie couldn’t do it, too.
And even though her conscience was already calling bullshit on this, no, she hadn’t actually given him her heart yet. Not all of it anyway. Sure, she loved him; she’d always loved him. Big deal, she loved all her friends. And, okay, so what if she wanted to spend most of her free time with him instead of anyone else? So what if he was the only one she’d ever trusted completely? The only one she’d ever wanted to trust completely?
So what if that smile of his shot pure sunshine straight through her heart (oh God, I’ve been reading too many romance novels) and made her smile back for no good reason? So what if every single time he walked into the room her heart tripped a little bit (shit!) and made it hard to breathe for a second?
And so what if the thought of leaving the Buoys and never seeing him again made it feel like her heart was bleeding inside her chest?
“Oh God, I’m so screwed.”
No. She couldn’t be. She wouldn’t be. She just needed to be honest with herself about the whole thing. There was no denying Finn was an attractive guy. Okay, he was freakin’ sexy, but still, that wasn’t news; she’d always thought he was attractive.
No, not attractive: freakin’ sexy. Whatever.
There was no denying she’d always felt close to him, and now that she thought about it, sure, she’d spent more time thinking about him than about any other guy she ever knew—and that included the guys she’d dated.
“Oh, that’s not good.”
And if she was going to be brutally honest with herself—and this certainly wasn’t anything she’d ever admit to anyone else—there’d been a few times over the years (okay, maybe more than a few) when she’d been out with a guy and suddenly found herself comparing him to Finn.
