by N. M. Howell
“These compliments are too great, sir.”
“They are not great enough.”
His shifting eyes are looking into mine and it is as a great rift has sundered the sky and shown me a world of truth and color and mystery. And without warning one of those feelings washes over me and this time it is stronger than ever before. Suddenly the horses become nervous and begin to stomp and rear. Loose stones begin to roll on the ground away from us. The wind blows straight up in the sky, as if it were sucking at the earth. The welcoming parties are both startled and the stable boys have a difficult time calming the horses. Eventually everything settles. Eduard smiles.
“Forgive me friends, a mere vice I seem unable to refrain from. I always perform little feats like that to clear the air. One with my far reaching reputation sometimes arrives to a rather stiff welcome. As if I were some dastardly invader come to turn everyone into the most horrid beasts. It is only to show you that not only am I in complete control of my magic, I also have a sense of humor.”
Several people laugh and everyone is smiling. It would seem Eduard’s trick has worked.
“Father,” Delara says, stepping forward. “I must fetch your gift for the great sorcerer. Might I borrow Nevena before her duties begin?”
“They have already begun,” Lord Jacob replies. “You must ask it of Eduard.”
“It is certainly fine with me.”
I curtsey to Grandestor then follow Delara through the halls to the Lord’s Chamber and shut the door behind us.
“Almighty, he’s gorgeous,” she exclaims. “It was only the strength from above that stopped me from dying of love on the spot. I envy you, Nevena. You were as calm as a frozen river.
“Only on the outside. He wasn’t at all what I expected. He’s handsome and kind.”
“Not to mention hardly hundreds of years old. Rumors never get anything right. But those eyes!”
“Yes, those perfect, shimmering, omniscient eyes.”
“How is it no one has spoken of them? You’d think such beauty would make itself heard from the mouths of the world. I daresay I’m as nervous as you.”
“Me?”
“Spare yourself the trouble of trying to cover it, sweet girl. If you’re my truest friend I’m yours, and I know you as I know myself. The great Eduard has brought us both to the precipice.”
Delara and I are both smiling, both trembling a bit as well. It is no small feat to bear up in the presence of the most renowned sorcerer in the Hundred Kingdoms. She and I have not met for many days and now I go to her, embrace her, the friend whose absence I feel keener than the prick of hair pins at night. When we’re like this, together and alone, there is neither servant girl nor lady. Only two eternal friends. As I release her I summon the strength to share a burden that has haunted me for some time.
“Delara, my love, there is something I must tell you.”
“Of course, sweet girl, though it must be quick. They’ll be expecting us in the Open Chamber.”
She leads me to her parents’ bed. She sits, but I hesitate.
“Oh, sit down, Nevena. No one’s going to know.”
I sit. I take her hands and then take a breath.
“I have hardly slept for some weeks now. I have had new dreams, Delara, such dreams as I’ve never known. In the dreams I see nothing, feel nothing. Go nowhere. I simply listen to the voice of the man there. Who he is, I know not, but he whispers things to me. Even though I do not know the tongue, I seem to understand the words. Such enchanting whispers, such stunning promises. When I wake I don’t remember them and I cease to understand, but the voice lingers some moments. The man stays with me for just a little while after I’ve waked. Then he is gone.”
“Such dreams indeed,” she says, watching me carefully. You remember nothing? None of these whispers and promises?”
“Nothing. Only that I was able to know them in the dream.”
“Quite baffling. Of course, I daren’t say this bodes ill, sweet girl, other than robbing you of your sleep. Though I do wonder why a voice of dreams lingers after you’ve waked. That bit does trouble my mind, Nevena.”
“It all troubles mine,” I say, dropping my gaze to the floor.
“There, there, sweet girl. You’ll be fine. Tomorrow I’ll have one of the Fingers of the Almighty look at you. They’re the highest order of healers in the kingdoms, so they’re sure to have an answer.”
“I could not ask that of you. It is most unusual for such healers to see a servant.”
“Not when that servant is my sister,” she says, smiling.
I embrace her. I don’t bother insisting on my point, for Delara has never broken her word when it comes to me, neither has she checked herself with reason if the opposite was for my benefit.
Chapter 2
It is a most glorious of evenings. The welcoming ceremony has begun and the guests have been served. The Open Chamber has never been livelier. The food is superb, the wine and ale unending, and Eduard has sporadically entertained the guests with his magic. He has even managed to coax Delara into displaying some of her ability, a thing she usually detests doing in public.
At this moment, Eduard has conjured a waterfall over the entrance door. The river it creates flows from the entrance to the dais where Eduard and the House of Eaynfall sit. His magic is such that one can walk through the waterfall or step into the river without getting wet. It is beautiful, elegant magic. I have not left Eduard’s side and he was kind enough to have a chair brought for me so that I won’t have to stand the entire time. He has not treated me like a servant. To be sure, even a man as kind and generous as he can’t treat a servant like an equal, but he has spoken kindly to me and not ignored me. He has also not asked too much of me. I have repaid him with the most diligent and attentive service I am capable of. Thus have we passed these hours together.
I have, however, often had to catch myself, or rather force myself to keep my mind clear. It is those eyes. Those beautiful, glowing eyes that hold me. All night they have shifted and turned, unbearable magnificent. The rest of him is worth dazing over as well, so I’ve put a special effort into remembering my place and my duty. Now Lord Jacob is ordering the wine to be stopped and the water to be served. He has always been an honorable man and he has always respected propriety. I know he wishes to avoid any scandals or embarrassments drunkenness would cause. He stands.
“Lords and ladies, vassals, guests, friends, I hope you have enjoyed the food and drink. If you would please settle a bit, I believe our guest of honor is ready for his charge.”
Lord Jacob sits and Eduard rises. I stand as well and follow him to a smaller dais where his instruments and potions have been laid out. I rearrange the table as he asks and prepare his items for their use. I check to make sure the table and floor are clean and I haven’t spilled anything. I look to Eduard, to his hypnotizing eyes.
“That will be all for tonight,” he says, “Though I’m certain to rely on your excellent attentions tomorrow.”
“Are you certain, sir? I thought sure you would require me throughout your lesson.”
“Not at all. Nothing too strenuous tonight, only a bit of mystery and intrigue. Tomorrow will be the greater challenge and you’ll be needed twice over. For tonight, I’m quite well alone. After four hundred years I should be able to do an introductory lesson on my own.”
He smiles at me and turns back to the dais. I turn to leave, so shocked and surprised that I nearly miss Delara waving goodnight to me. And now I realize the rumors are true: Eduard is old. His magic must be powerful indeed to keep him looking like a young man of a mere twenty something winters.
Having finished my duties for tonight - and not being required to assist in further duty because of my selection for the red shadow - I go to the Servants’ Quarters to retrieve my cloak and then go up to one of the castle’s walls. Yunger patrols the west wall at night and he always allows me to walk about up here so long as I can avoid being seen from below. I greet him as I pass and pa
y him the usual toll, a kiss on his forehead. I walk to the back side of the castle where the moon has cast the castle’s gargantuan shadow. Here I’m so well concealed I can’t even be seen by Yunger unless he were within twenty feet of me. I relish in the soft winter silence, enjoying my time alone for quite a while.
I have just stopped to collect myself for one last moment before heading back to my chambers and breathe when I sense someone near. I turn, shocked and a bit frightened that they’ve managed to come so close without a sound, and I see that it’s Eduard.
“Have you heard me calling?” he asks.
“I’m so sorry, sir,” I say, curtseying and still out of breath from the fright. “I thought you had done with me for the night.”
“And for the preparations I was. I did not mean I was calling you now.”
“Oh, I beg your pardon sir. But - Forgive me sir, but aren’t you meant to be teaching Lady Delara and the royal sorceresses in the Open Chamber?”
“I am. Or at least part of me is. I’m a sorcerer, young Nevena, and learning to copy myself was one of my earliest lessons.
Again I am shocked and rather than make a fumbling attempt at speech, I simply nod.
“Have you heard me calling? In your dreams?”
My mouth falls open as he says these words. And now the mystery reveals itself. Of course it was him; I simply didn’t recognize the voice because in the dream he spoke in another tongue. It was him keeping me awake at night, lingering so briefly in my waking thoughts. It was Eduard.
“I was reaching out to connect to other beings possessed of magic and your beacon was the strongest. You are quite powerful, Nevena.”
“Me? But I have no ability at all.”
“Of course you do,” he says, stepping forward. “You showed it earlier, in the Grey Pasture.”
“But I thought that was you, sir. You said you were playing at a joke.”
“Only to cover for you. I could tell you had no inclination of your gift. Let me guess, strange feelings overtake you sometimes and little accidents happen that shouldn’t happen?”
“How did you know? But the only power I have is in being able to sense sorcerers and sorceresses, like you and Lady Delara.”
He laughs a little and looks out at the night. He seems to take pleasure in this revelation, but I don’t believe him. I can’t.
“Is that so?” he says. “Tell me, does Lady Delara mean much to you?”
“She means a great deal to me.”
“There you have it. You’re not sensing her, though I’m sure you could do so if you chose. What you interpret as sensing her is merely your own magic reacting to the variation in your emotions. If Lady Delara means a great deal to you, then you get excited when you know she’s coming or nearby. That excitements encourages your magic.”
“But… I sensed you before you came and I’ve never met you.”
“But you have. It was me in your dreams, stepping in your mind, connecting with you. Also I suppose you were rather nervous to have such a famous sorcerer coming to Moerdra Castle.” He winks at me, a friendly gesture.
I am bewildered. I fall back against the stone of the castle and try to catch my breath. It is as if the entire world has come pressing on me at once. Magical abilities… at my command? Surely I am dreaming.
“I have been waiting my whole life to meet you, Nevena of Throdan, though I did not know your name or face until I encountered you in your dreams. I daresay it’s too early to tell you this, but you are the Winter Queen. The color of your skin and hair is no mistake.”
I cannot respond.
“Come with me, Nevena. There is a spell I wish you to see. Do not worry about being seen; I have whispered an incantation that will hide us from all eyes.”
He reaches out, touches my cheek, and I nearly lose the ability to stand. His touch is incredible. And just then, in the moment he touches me, his eyes are blue.
Confused and entranced I follow him through the halls of Moerdra Castle. We reach his chamber and he deposits me on the couch, for which I am grateful, as I could hardly bear to keep standing. Immediately he begins a spell in one of the new tongues; I’ve not had much practice with it, but it is the melodic and flowing tongue called Faerre, which seems to me to have a magic all its own. At first I believe I’ve fainted and gone into a dream, but once several flakes melt on my arms I know I am awake. Eduard has made it snow here. It is the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen.
“How did you know I loved the snow? How is this possible inside, near the fire?”
“All things are possible with magic,” he says, kneeling before me. “And I knew because I’ve traveled in your mind and soul, and I’ll not forget a single thing I learned there.”
My many years of lessons in propriety, of the proper relationships between servants and highborns, has taught me that I should never be this close, I should never want what I want. But Eduard’s hands are on my hips. Eduard’s chest is between my thighs. His eyes are pulling me in, not commanding, not pleading, but beckoning, softly telling of their want and need. He kisses me, my first kiss, the only kiss I’ll ever want to feel again. I cannot stop my hands as they push down his coat, his vest, his shirt. I cannot stop my legs as they wrap around him. I’ve no idea how to do this and yet with him I know exactly why and how.
“I did not mean for this when I brought you here,” he says, “But there is something in us that must be together. If only you’ll have me.”
“I’ll have you,” I say, fusing my body to his.
He lays his coat down on the snow, which continues to fall all around us, though we have become so warm that I do not feel the cold. And now he is undressing me, peeling back the clasps and ripping the lighter garments beneath. He pulls what is left of the dress off of me, assuring me he will fix it with a spell later.
Eduard wraps his arms around my middle, pulling my body firmly up against his as he kissed down the side of my neck. “Eduard,” I managed to speak, although barely audibly. He looks me deep in my eyes, and we share a moment of mutual silence, drinking in each other’s gaze.
Never in a thousand years did I think I would be alone with a sorcerer, let alone one who seems so deeply and passionately interested in me. I stare into his eyes, willing this moment to go on forever, for after tonight I cannot imagine going back to being Nevena the servant girl.
He leans closer and whispers to me, “Nevena, after tonight, your life as you know it will seize to exist. You are the Winter Queen, and your life will be forever changed. Let me share with you the greatest magic of all.”
Chapter 3
I have the love of a great man. And he has me, body and mind, present and future, word and deed. I have oftentimes heard of the love that may exist between man and woman, just as I have heard of such a thing as an inseparable union. But never until now have I believed in such things. At last I know that they are not now nor have they ever been mere fantasies of dreaming princesses. Love is my life now.
Some eight weeks have passed since the day Eduard came to Moerdra Castle. All across the lands he is known as the great and cunning Grandestor, but to me is he is just Eduard. I still serve as his red shadow and my duties are ever growing, ever demanding more and more of my time, but it is the price I must pay for so great an honor as this. I pay it gladly, for it gives me leave to be always at his side, always near enough that I might whisper a passing endearment or deliver the softest, most unassuming touch. The reason for the redoubling of my duties is Eduard’s instruction of the royal sorceresses.
To all the court and servants, the great Grandestor’s tutelage must surely seem to be progressing excellently, but they do not know what dark secrets run amuck in these halls. Since my girlhood, I have feared and mistrusted the royal sorceresses. In fact, most of the Castle and the land of Dao have been wary of them; young mothers will bend their steps away in the village and even the aged will eye these twisted women with circumspection. To be sure, the nine magical women honored with the ti
tle of royal sorceresses are a most enchanting sight: tall, slender, golden-haired, beautiful in the way of things that seem from a dream. They are graceful, poised, mannered not like angels, but like the beneficent tutors who taught the angels to behave. These women are seemingly perfect. Yet everywhere they tread a chill follows: it is but the lightest cooling, almost imperceptible, but when you watch them, when you do feel that chill, it is as the very stench of malevolence. I told Eduard of my wariness of the sorceresses and he told me that he felt their evil the moment he crossed the borders of our land.
The first night he spent in Moerdra Castle, the night we spent together beside the fire, on a bed of miraculous snow, was also the first night Eduard was to tutor the sorceresses. He copied himself, leaving an “Eduard” in the Open Chamber to instruct the women - as well as Delara, my greatest friend - but what the copy was truly doing was marking the women. Eduard’s magic is strong and for the past weeks he has followed these women, watched them, tutored them, studied them. Never once has he given an indication of what he believes. At least, not until this morning, when he told me only two things.
“They are of the enemy that I have hunted. Tonight I take their masks.”
He kissed me and departed, sending me here to The Blue Market to gather supplies for whatever great revelation he has planned for tonight. Ciraa, my other great friend, has come with me.
“Aye, it’s a right shame, girl,” she says.” You go and do something as clever as bed the greatest sorcerer of our age and Sister assigns you an eternal chaperone. It’s an affront to enterprising young girls everywhere.”
“Ciraa,” I remonstrate, laughing, “He is not a conquest. And besides, it’s not as if I could tell Sister where I had actually been.”
“I should say not, though I suspect she’d have understood. In her own way. Still, good excuse or no, a servant out of quarters at night without an express task is grounds for a lot worse than a chaperone. Count yourself lucky for Sister’s love.”
