by Tanya Bird
People turned to look at him as he emerged from the blaze, Mila’s face contorting into relief as she was released. Remus threw off the men and leapt to his feet. A moment later, they were in front of him, the children lifted from him, Mila cupping her sister’s face and saying things he could not understand.
‘Help her,’ he thought he said.
Remus was crouched down, checking the boys. Uniformed men stepped forwards to take Dulcia from him. When the weight of her was lifted, the men began to tilt, Dulcia with them.
Help her.
Nero’s face smacked the dirt, and everything went dark.
Chapter 16
Nero woke with a start, eyes snapping open and searching the space for something familiar to anchor him. Panic squeezed his chest, and it took him a moment to remember why.
Dulcia.
A horse whinnied on the other side of the wall. The noise made him sit up, wincing as he did so. His head pounded so hard he was momentarily blinded by it. Smoke and soot lined his nose, mouth and throat, prompting memories of earlier events. He was in a stall, but it was not the green team’s stables.
‘Easy,’ Felix said, stepping inside. Albaus was behind him. ‘I am under strict instructions to keep you alive until the physician gets here.’
Nero pushed back the blanket, and the small cot groaned beneath him. He frowned at the straw-covered ground. ‘Where are we?’
Felix took a seat on the end of his cot. ‘Papias stables.’
Papias. Nero slid across to sit on the edge. ‘Are they alive?’ His voice was hoarse, his throat sore. ‘The twins? Dulcia?’
‘The twins will be fine. Sick from the smoke, but they will be terrorising us again in no time.’
He waited, not sure if he could speak her name again without breaking down. Felix picked up on his struggle, glancing at Albaus before saying, ‘Dulcia is yet to wake.’
What did that mean? He looked between the two of them. ‘But she is alive?’
Albaus just stared out the door, while Felix cleared his throat. ‘Alive, yes. I think everyone would feel better if she would wake.’
Nero would certainly feel a lot better. ‘Can I see her?’
Felix snorted. ‘There is a reason you are surrounded by horses. Rufus Papias’s goodwill does not stretch that far.’ His gaze swept over Nero. ‘Normally I would slap you about the head for such a reckless act, but it seems your heroism paid off.’
Nero stared at the door, wanting to go to Dulcia. ‘I did what any man would do.’
‘Run into a burning building?’ Felix turned to Albaus. ‘What do you think? Would you run into a blaze on a hunch?’
Albaus grunted and crossed his arms. His body language suggested he was still on edge after the drama.
‘Albaus may have,’ Felix continued. ‘But if the Vigile told me not to walk into a fire, I would listen. You are fortunate they did not smash it to the ground with you inside. Luckily, they were too busy holding Mila and Remus back. There were barely any men left to fight the fire.’
Before Nero could reply, Remus appeared in the doorway. It took him a moment to adjust to the light; then, spotting Nero, he walked over and fell to his knees beside the cot. His eyes were bloodshot and weary. He said nothing at first, just pulled Nero into an embrace and held him there. Nero stiffened at first, because Remus was not a hugger, but then he relaxed into it.
After a long moment, Remus pulled back to look at him. ‘Thank you.’ He patted the back of Nero’s head before letting go. The gratitude and relief came from him in waves. The man had almost lost his sons. Mila had almost lost her sister.
‘You don’t need to thank me,’ Nero said as Remus collected himself. ‘We’re family.’
Remus nodded and pressed his palms briefly to his eyes, sealing in the tears. He rose to his feet and gave Nero’s shoulder a squeeze. ‘Have a wash. You stink.’
Nero’s laugh turned into a chesty cough.
‘Lots of water,’ Remus called over his shoulder as he turned and headed for the door. He clapped Albaus’s arm as he passed, and the tall man gave him a single nod.
Felix exhaled loudly. ‘If you think I am going to hang about playing nursemaid, you are mistaken. There is water right there, and your hands appear to be working.’
‘What? No broth spoon-fed to me?’
A wry smile crossed Felix’s face. ‘Albaus has a much steadier hand.’
A grunt from the man who remained leaning in the doorway. The frame creaked beneath the weight of him. Nero’s expression turned serious.
‘I just need one thing.’
Felix rolled his eyes. ‘I swear to the heavens, if you say Dulcia—’
‘I need to see her.’
Felix swung himself off the bed. ‘If you think you can get past her physician, brother, mother, father, and betrothed, then by all means go visit with her. But be warned, they will smell you coming a mile away. Literally. You are like a smoked ham, minus the honey glaze.’
‘Manius is with her?’ He could not hide his disappointment.
Felix threw his hands up. ‘That is what you took from my speech?’ He waited for a reply. When one did not come, he said, ‘They are to be married soon. What did you expect?’
Nero reached for the jug of water and cup. He poured, drank, and spat it on the floor. All he could taste was soot.
‘You are going to be coughing that stuff up for weeks,’ Felix said, strolling to the door. Albaus straightened, ready to follow. ‘Come, my enormous friend. Let us find some food for our young hero and a drink for us old men.’
‘Where shall I wash?’ Nero called.
Felix paused in the doorway. ‘It is a stable. Find a trough.’
When Dulcia opened her eyes, she thought she might be blind. It took her a moment to realise it was dark. Her chest pounded as she tried to get her bearings.
The twins. Where were the boys?
She recognised her mother’s familiar breaths and turned to see her asleep in a chair, one arm draped over the bed and her head resting on it. Dulcia went to speak, but her tongue stuck in her mouth. All she could taste and smell was stale smoke. The memory of the fire rushed in, making her breath catch and fingers press into the bed. She could still feel the heat of it.
Kicking off the blanket, she sat up and took a lungful of air, relieved when she could. She took another breath, and another.
Tertia stirred, opened her eyes, and relief flooded her face. Pushing herself up, she reached out and grabbed hold of Dulcia’s face with both hands. ‘Thank the gods. They must have finally tired of my prayers.’
Dulcia rested her pulsing head against her mother’s. It threatened to burst open at any moment.
‘Careful,’ Tertia said, pulling away. ‘You hit your head.’
More memories pushed in, and she grabbed hold of her mother’s arm to steady herself. ‘The twins—’
‘Will be fine,’ Tertia soothed. ‘You need to drink.’ She reached for the cup of water on the table and held it to Dulcia’s mouth.
‘I can hold a cup,’ Dulcia said, taking it from her and sipping tentatively. Her throat felt raw, and the simple act of swallowing was too much. She went to touch the wound on her head, but her mother caught her hand.
‘You needed stitches.’ Tertia’s brow creased with worry, and then her hand went over her mouth, holding in whatever emotion threatened to spill over. ‘If Nero had not found you…’
Nero? She rested the cup on her leg. ‘Nero was there?’
Her mother sniffed, nodded. ‘Ran straight into the flames. Carried all three of you out just moments before the entire structure came down.’
Of course he did. He would walk through fire for her without a moment’s hesitation. That was how it was between them. Dulcia felt her heart expand. ‘He carried us out?’
A nod.
The cup in Dulcia’s hand tilted and spilled. She did not even react. ‘Where is he? I need to see him.’
Tertia took the cup from her. ‘You are no
t leaving that bed until the physician says you can. He will be back in the morning.’ She squeezed Dulcia’s hand. ‘Listen to yourself. You can barely talk.’
Dulcia coughed and soot filled her mouth. ‘You are sure the twins are all right? There was so much smoke. Caius was in my arms when it collapsed. I… I tried to jump.’
‘They are both going to be fine.’
Dulcia shook her head. ‘I just could not get them out.’
‘You kept them alive. You did everything you could.’ She touched a finger to her daughter’s chin.
Dulcia glanced at the curtain. ‘Where are they?’
‘Rufus had a room made up for them, just for tonight.’
Dulcia’s eyebrows rose. ‘He let Remus stay in the house?’
‘He has a heart.’
‘What about Nero?’ Dulcia searched her mother’s face. ‘Is he here?’
‘In the stables with Felix and Albaus. They are not to come anywhere near the house. If Aquila finds out, it will not end well.’
Dulcia tried to stand. ‘I must see him.’
Tertia grabbed her arm, holding her in place. ‘You will do no such thing. What if Manius returns to see you?’
‘He came to see me?’
‘Of course. He is terribly worried and hoping to check in on you on his way back from dinner, assuming the evening does not run late.’
Dulcia breathed out through her nose. ‘You realise how contradictory your words are. He cannot be that worried if he is fitting bedside visits in around his social plans.’
‘The man cannot be expected to shirk his responsibilities to wait at your bedside.’
Nero would. He did not even know she was awake. He was probably going out of his mind with worry. ‘No. Of course not.’ She lay back down on the bed. ‘Goodness, I am more tired than I realised.’ It was not a lie. She had been dizzy and nauseous from the moment she opened her eyes. ‘If I sleep, will you take me to see the twins when I wake?’
Tertia patted her hand reassuringly. ‘Of course.’
‘You should sleep also.’
Tertia shook her head. ‘I want to keep an eye on you.’
Exactly what Dulcia had predicted she would say. ‘There is nothing you can do until the physician comes. Please, go to your bed. I am fine.’
Tertia glanced across the room at the neatly made bed. ‘The sun will rise before we know it. I suppose a few hours’ rest will be beneficial.’
‘Yes, rest while you can,’ Dulcia agreed, closing her eyes.
She did her best impersonation of sleep, knowing her mother would not leave her side if she remained awake. Eventually, she heard the creak of the bed, and within a few minutes, soft, even breaths reached her.
Dulcia opened her eyes.
Nero underestimated the effects of the smoke. He tried to stay awake, desperate for news of Dulcia, but eventually surrendered to his exhaustion.
He woke just before sunrise with the weight of a body against him. His mind raced with possibilities. It was not uncommon for one of the children to climb into his bed during the night, but they were in the house. The person was too big to be to a child and too small to be a man. He turned his head to look, and the body stirred, then settled. He recognised the scent of her, despite the smoke. His body recognised the feel of her.
Dulcia.
He turned, slowly so as not to disturb her. She was facing him, her hands tucked under her cheek, making her face pouty like a child. Her breathing bordered on snoring. He smiled to himself. Gods, she was beautiful in that moment.
And in his bed. Why was she in his bed?
She coughed, and the strangled sound of it scared him. His hand went to her arm, ready if she woke, if she needed him. He would give the air from his own lungs if he thought it would help her breathe easier. But she did not wake fully, settling under the weight of his hand, her shoulder rolling forwards until it brushed his bare chest.
He watched her in the dark, his hand sliding down her back, forming a protective layer around her. She shivered against the warmth of it, so he carefully drew her closer until he felt her breaths on his neck. She sighed contentedly, and then her breathing grew noisy once more. He relaxed his head so his lips rested against her hair. She still smelled of smoke, but the harshness was diluted by soap and a scent he had come to recognise over the years: dough, pears, and cinnamon. It was the smell of fresh bread and lavender, the smell of fresh water and sunshine.
There was no way Tertia would have let her out of bed, let alone out of the house. He should have woken her, told her to return inside to her comfortable bed and the care of her mother. But he was selfish in that moment. He wanted to be with her, to watch over, touch, breathe in and pour his warmth into her.
He wondered about her injuries, her head, if her lungs and throat hurt as his did. Probably much worse given how long she had breathed in that toxic air.
His worry was eased by a sense of peace, a content feeling that spread through his body like he was stepping into a hot bath. There she lay, moulded against him, needing him the same way he needed her. He had thought it impossible for her feelings to match his own, knew the force of them could pull her under. She deserved a safer form of love, one that could be flaunted in daylight.
With that thought, he drifted off to sleep.
‘Dulcia, wake up.’
The angry whisper made Nero jump, which in turn woke Dulcia. His arms tightened around her as he focused in the grey light. Tertia came into view, a worried expression on her face.
He had fallen asleep, wasted the few precious hours they had together. When he looked down at Dulcia, her heavy eyes blinked back at him.
Tertia tugged on her daughter’s arm. ‘You need to get up,’ she said. ‘Now.’
He should have released her, sat up, apologised, made excuses, but he did none of those things. If those moments were all they had, he would hold Dulcia for as long as she needed.
‘The physician will be here soon. Manius will be here soon.’
Dulcia’s expression was solemn. ‘Give me a moment.’ Her voice was hoarse, barely audible. She turned in his arms and stared up at her mother. ‘Please. Just give me that.’
Tertia exhaled. Looking at Nero, she said, ‘She better be outside in two minutes,’ then quietly slipped from the stables.
Albaus and Felix were asleep in cots pressed against the other walls, Felix fitting nicely, while Albaus’s trunk-like limbs hung over the edges. They did not even stir. That was what came of living with children; you had to learn to block out the noise of early risers.
‘Are you all right?’ Nero croaked, inspecting the cut on her head.
She smiled weakly, eyes on his mouth. ‘You sound as bad as me.’
‘I was so worried about you.’
‘I know.’
He searched her face, noticing a graze on her cheek. ‘You’re really all right?’
A small nod. ‘You saved us.’ She reached up and brushed her fingertips over his lips. ‘I owe you my life.’
He could not help himself, kissing the tip of one finger. ‘You should go. You need to see the physician.’
She looked so disappointed with his response, but he needed her well. ‘And Manius?’
She was testing him. ‘Only if he has healing powers I’m unaware of.’
Another small smile from her. ‘I suspect you have healing powers.’
If he did, he would use them to take away the dark circles from her eyes, the cuts and bruises, to restore her lungs to perfect breathing order. ‘I wish I did.’
She regarded him for a moment, one finger stroking the stubble on his jaw. ‘I do not want to marry him.’
She said it so quietly he had to concentrate in order to hear her. She was looking at him as though he had the power to grant her wish, but he did not. He was nothing, nobody. All he could offer was a fleeting moment of comfort. ‘I know’ was all he said.
They watched one another. He wanted so badly to kiss her, to tell her she did not
have to do anything she did not want to do. But that was not the world they lived in. He was unemployed, homeless, weak, with only the clothes on his back and the few coins left in his pouch. To snatch away her only security and offer nothing in return was reckless. ‘You should go to your mother.’
Her eyes seemed to hollow out for a moment. ‘That is all you have to say? “Go to your mother”?’
Stay. I love you. Let me take care of you.
He was sleeping in a stable thanks to the generosity of her father, a gesture Rufus would regret if he learned the whereabouts of his daughter at that moment. ‘You need to see the physician.’
She blinked, a plea in her expression, one he was forced to ignore. He felt her body pull away from him, and it took all his strength not to drag her back again. He had to let her go.
As she sat up, he took hold of her elbow, because she was moving like everything hurt.
‘I don’t need your help.’ She pulled her arm free of his hand.
He slid to the edge of the bed, ready if she needed him. She stood on trembling legs, pulling the palla tighter around her despite the warm air. He gripped the edge of the bed to stop himself from reaching for her, from drawing her into his lap and burying his face in her neck.
‘Now is not the time,’ he said.
She looked down at him, her expression wounded. ‘Time for what?’
He glanced around the stall. She was going to make him say it. ‘To be reckless.’
She nodded, hugging herself tighter.
‘You think I want you to marry him?’ His voice was laced with all the pent-up frustration and jealousy he had carried for so long. ‘What sort of man would I be if I asked you to walk away now?’ He forced himself to look at her, finding her eyes glassy with tears. Gesturing to the wall, he added, ‘I’m sleeping with horses.’
Another nod. ‘I understand. Good day.’
He stood, coughed, and watched her leave. His feet threatened to go after her, and the moment she was out of sight, a heaviness grew in his chest, spreading to his arms and legs. He collapsed back down, head bowed and hands in his hair.
