“Oh, yes,” she finally said.
“So I can kiss you?” he asked. He stopped petting Buster. She appreciated that he was confirming she wanted this before making a move.
“Absolutely,” she said firmly, with a nod. “Please.”
“Are you sober?” he asked, hesitating in the middle of reaching for her.
“Completely,” she told him. “No alcohol.”
“Me, either,” he said. She reached for him and pulled him closer with a grip on his biceps.
She had butterflies in her stomach. A swarm of them, in fact. But she was determined to do this. She wasn’t even going to tell him about her struggles with the vibrators. She was going to act like this was a perfectly normal hookup, just a guy and a girl wanting to get it on. That was the secret, she knew it was. She needed a dick attached to a living, breathing man, and then everything would flow. It had to.
He stepped into her embrace and wrapped his arms around her, tugging her closer. His T-shirt was soft under her hands. Where was his jacket? He was big and solid under her palms as she slid them over his shoulders and around his neck. She hadn’t expected to feel both so excited and so turned on, not this quickly. But it was Tom Kelly, and he felt as good as she’d dreamed he would. She took a deep breath and inhaled the smell of his cologne. It smelled expensive and dangerously sexy. Then his mouth met hers and she forgot to breathe.
His lips were so soft. She hadn’t expected that. He tasted like toothpaste. Oh my God, he’d gone home and brushed his teeth. That’s where his jacket was. She panicked. She hadn’t brushed her teeth. Did she have bad breath? What had she eaten tonight?
“Relax,” Tom whispered against her mouth. “It’s just a kiss.”
Buster whined from beside her and she used it as an excuse to pull away from Tom. She needed a moment to get it together. “It’s okay, Buster,” she said. “Go to bed.” She made a hand motion and Buster trotted off to his bed, spinning around twice before laying down with a doggy sigh.
“That’s the most well-behaved dog I’ve ever seen,” Tom said appreciatively. “I’m used to them jumping all over me and barking.”
“Service dogs are trained not to do that,” she said. “Buster doesn’t have to do too many service tasks for me, but he still remembers his training.”
“What does he do for you?” Tom asked.
“Well, when I get nervous he keeps me calm and focused,” she said. “I used to get disoriented, but that’s passed, mostly. Sometimes when I wake up I get a little confused, and he helps then. He makes sure I don’t forget things. Like tonight, I went to take him for a walk and almost forgot to bring my key with me. He reminded me.”
“Did you just forget, like other people do, or was that because of the injury?” Carmina could tell the question wasn’t just idle conversation.
“I don’t know,” she told him honestly. “I was nervous and in a hurry, so maybe a little of both.”
“I don’t want you to be nervous,” Tom said. “This is about having a good time, right?” He grinned at her and she laughed ruefully.
“I can’t help it,” she said. “It’s been a while for me.”
“You just sit back and enjoy the ride,” Tom said. “I can handle the driving if you’re a little rusty.”
Chapter 7
He had no idea how much she wanted to enjoy the ride. So, so much. “Okay,” was all she said. She knew that not talking about it wasn’t going to make her problem just disappear, but she could pretend to be normal for a little while.
This time when Tom kissed her, she deliberately cleared her mind of everything but him and how he felt and tasted and kissed. He got an A plus in all three categories. He kissed like he had all the time in the world to make love to her mouth, as if he’d be satisfied doing nothing but kissing her all night long, standing in front of her door. She sighed with happiness and tried to press closer to him, tilting her head to the side to get better access to his mouth.
Tom pushed her back, but didn’t stop kissing her. She opened her eyes to see him toeing his shoes off, his mouth still on hers. She smiled against his lips. “Talented,” she murmured. She felt him smile. She liked it. Liked this kind of playful kissing and talking. She’d never done that with a guy. They were all so intense when it came to sex, like they wanted to get it done before a woman had a chance to think about it or change her mind.
Only one other guy had kissed her like this, as if all he wanted to do was kiss her. She shoved thoughts of Richie away. Thinking about him wasn’t going to help her get into this.
“Do you like Elvis?” Tom asked as he moved his mouth and gave her tiny, little, soft kisses across her cheek and down her jaw.
“I…what?” she asked, nonplussed at the question that came out of nowhere.
“For some reason, tonight I have Elvis in my head,” he told her. She laughed and he looked down at her with a rueful grin. “Weird, right?” he asked.
“Elvis Presley? Or Elvis your boyfriend?” she asked. She took his hand and tugged him after her, leading him to her room.
“So we’re going there,” he said. “I wasn’t sure.” She looked over her shoulder at him in surprise. “I mean, the fact that I’ve been with guys,” he explained.
“I know what you meant,” she said. She turned to face him. “I’ve seen you with guys. Well, with Elvis,” she added. “At your party.” Where you were getting a blow job from him. She kept that last thought to herself. After all, half the world had seen Elvis giving him a blow job in the unfocused video posted online after the party.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” he said. “Friend, yes. Boyfriend, no. Despite what you may have seen or heard. I was talking about Elvis Presley. I keep hearing one of his songs in my head.”
“Which one?” she asked, genuinely curious. “I don’t know many Elvis songs.”
Tom clutched his heart. “Not know Elvis songs? That’s blasphemy.”
“I grew up listening to Puerto Rican salsa music,” she teased.
“It was ‘Good Luck Charm,’ ” he told her. He hummed the tune. “Ever heard it?” Then he sang a couple of lines and she laughed.
“You want me to be your good luck charm?” she asked. She was certainly charmed by his flirting. “I don’t know how much luck I can give away.”
“A man can hope,” he said. He peeked over her shoulder into her bedroom. “Not much for decorating, are you? We need to let my mom loose in here. A few hundred throw pillows would do wonders for this place.”
“I didn’t want to go out after I moved here,” she said, embarrassed. “I still wasn’t talking very well, and I didn’t want to bother Sam.”
“He wouldn’t have minded,” Tom said. “What’s your excuse now?”
“Ouch,” she said, not taking offense. “That bad, huh?”
“I have to say it has a certain hospital appeal,” he said, making a face.
“Hospitals have no appeal,” she said, shuddering.
“That’s sort of what I meant,” he teased. He grabbed her hand and pulled her into his arms. “But when you’re in it, it becomes the prettiest room I’ve ever seen,” he said gallantly.
“Flirt.”
“I do my best,” he said unapologetically, loosely holding her in his arms. “How am I doing?”
“Winning season, but I’m already a sure bet,” she told him. She knew what he was doing, trying to set her at ease. It was working. At least until she remembered what they were here to do. Then her nerves came screaming back. “Um, do you want anything?” she asked awkwardly. “A drink or anything?”
“Nope,” he said. “Just you.” He smiled and it made the corny line seem heartfelt. He leaned down to kiss her and she let him. She was really enjoying their teasing back-and-forth. The longer they talked, the easier it became for her. It had been a long time since she’d been able to do that with a guy.
Suddenly she saw Richie’s face in her mind, that teasing little grin with the deep dimple on his left cheek, j
ust off the corner of his smile, the desert sun in his straw-blond hair, the freckles on his nose and cheeks. She broke the kiss right away and pulled out of Tom’s arms. Spinning around to hide her confusion, she reached back to undo the necklace she wore. When Tom’s fingers brushed hers out of the way she shivered.
“Sit down and I’ll help you take your shoes off,” Tom told her, kissing the back of her neck. She did as she was told, letting Tom take over for a while so she didn’t have to think. She was so tired of thinking so damn hard all the time. “This is a good look,” Tom teased. He was on one knee in front of her, her right foot in his hand. When she looked at him in confusion she saw her tennis shoe. She closed her eyes with a wince.
“I walked the dog,” she explained. Tom just laughed.
“I know,” he said. And she could tell he didn’t care what shoes she wore. That was both nice and irritating. She could have left off those torturous high heels and still gotten a piece of ass. Good to know.
She relaxed as Tom pulled her shoes off and massaged her calves. “Lie back,” he told her. She did, butterflies fluttering in her stomach. After a minute or two of rubbing her feet and legs, Tom slid his hands up and under the tight skirt of her dress, along the outside of her thighs. She tried not to think about the size of those thighs. She’d been running pretty regularly, but that was it. Her Puerto Rican was definitely showing in the hip and booty region. Thank goodness he’d said he liked it. She wiggled her hips when he began pushing her dress up so that he could get it under her ass and up to her waist.
“Holy shit,” Tom said, his voice filled with appreciation. She was blushing furiously and refused to look at him.
“I couldn’t wear panties with the dress,” she said nervously. “Sorry.” The dress was so tight she could either go without or wear a thong. She didn’t own a thong.
“Are you serious?” Tom said incredulously. “Now that is what a woman’s pussy should look like. Holy hell, that’s sexy. Spread your legs.”
As soon as she did he lifted them up over his shoulders and leaned down to lick her. It was sudden even if she had expected it. She gasped and tried to close her thighs, pinning him in place. He chuckled against her, the vibration and the heat of his breath making her break out in goosebumps. He cupped both hands under her ass cheeks and squeezed them as he kissed her pussy the same way he’d kissed her mouth—as if he had all the time in the world and nowhere else he’d rather be. She tried to relax and let him work his magic on her. She could tell he’d done this before, probably lots of times, and he was good. He knew just where to touch her, how hard, how fast, exactly the way to move his tongue and lips against her. She began to sweat and her hips jerked in his hold. She couldn’t stay still any longer. She whimpered and her hands grabbed fistfuls of her blanket.
Tom kissed the inside of her thigh. “You taste amazing,” he told her. “I could do this all night. Do you want to come this way? It’s your call. Tonight is all about you having a good time.” He smiled when he said it and he looked like he meant it.
She was thrown by the question and by his attitude. Sex seemed so natural for him, no awkwardness, while she was the queen of awkward. And now the pressure was on. If she said she wanted to come this way…what if she couldn’t? Could she fake it? She began to panic.
“I don’t know,” she said, breathless from the panic. Tom didn’t seem to notice.
“I’d like it if you came on my mouth,” he said. “I think that’s hot, and I love the taste of you.” He lightly bit one of her labia and swiped his tongue through the sensitive canal it helped hide. She felt exposed, defenseless. But it was Tom, and he was such a sweetheart. How could she say no?
“Okay,” she said. But she knew it wasn’t going happen. How could it? She was already losing her arousal because she was worrying so much about having to orgasm. Would he be mad if she couldn’t?
Tom was sweet and gentle with her, licking and sucking and loving on her in a way she’d never experienced before. Her desire built up again until she was slowly moving under his mouth. She could feel how wet she was and she got excited. It was going to happen. When he slid his finger inside her slowly, she arched her back at the rush of pleasure that rolled through her. “Tom,” she gasped. He hummed against her, but didn’t stop what he was doing.
She let go of the blanket and ran her fingers through his short hair before she clutched his head and held him to her. But every time she thought she was on the verge of coming, the feelings would fade away until she grew restless with frustration. Why couldn’t she come? This amazing man was trying so hard to give her pleasure. A guy that she’d been fantasizing about for months was licking her pussy and wanted her to come on his mouth and she couldn’t. She couldn’t. A little sob of frustration escaped her.
Tom stopped, placing soft kisses on her thighs, and then he stood up. He leaned over her and said softly, “Come on. Up. Let’s get this dress off.” She let him pull her up to a sitting position and pull the dress off over her head. “You’re gorgeous. You know that, right?” he asked, running his hands over her shoulders and down her arms until he held her hands and pulled her arms out to the side while he devoured her with appreciative eyes. “Everything about you is so damned sexy,” he said quietly. “Your voice, the beautiful color of your skin, your hair, your amazing eyes. I can’t believe you’re letting me love you. May I?” he asked, indicating her bra. She nodded and he reached around and undid the clasp before slowly sliding the straps down her arms. She wanted to cover herself, embarrassed by his attention, but she stayed still by sheer force of will.
“Slide up,” Tom said, nudging her toward the pillows. She moved, leaning back against them, her arms wrapped around her waist. Tom pulled his T-shirt off and tossed it aside, and Carmina’s mouth went dry. He was the perfect fantasy, with that gorgeous hard body. No wonder she couldn’t stop thinking about him. He had to be packing more than six in those abs. Was it possible to have ten-pack abs? His laughter made her drag her eyes back up to meet his. “Glad you approve,” he said. He reached down to undo the button on his jeans and Carmina looked away. “Are you sure about this?” he asked gently. “You seem a little nervous again.” She jerked her gaze back to him and nodded vigorously, unable to say the words. She reached for him instead, rising onto her knees and grabbing his waistband. She flipped the button open while she stared into his eyes. She did want this. She did. She just needed a real dick inside her. Then she’d come.
When Tom climbed on top of her, condom on, and slid inside her, she thought for sure she’d come, he felt so good. She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed all of it, not really. She’d been whining about not coming, but she’d missed this just as much, this closeness, this sharing. Having someone hard and hot inside her. Being treated like a woman and not just a friend, or a buddy, or a patient. Suddenly she realized how very alone she’d been for years. At the realization her arms snaked around Tom’s shoulders and she buried her face in his neck, inhaling his fragrance. She licked the salty taste of sweat from his big shoulder and pressed her cheek against it.
“You okay?” he asked quietly, a little breathless. She nodded. It was the answer he must have wanted because he began to move inside her. Small thrusts, almost grinding, really. It was perfect. She hadn’t wanted the big production, didn’t want to fuck hard and fast like porn stars. She’d craved this kind of fuck. His heartbeat pounded against her breast, his breath fluttered the hair at her temple, the heat of his body warmed her inside and out. She didn’t care then about coming, just about keeping him inside her, on top of her, with her.
She bent her knees to take him deeper, and he groaned. The sound made her smile. She’d missed that, too. Missed a man so into fucking you he couldn’t stay quiet. His thrusts became a little faster, a little harder, and she met each one, wanting it to be good for him. Wanting to give him what he needed.
She couldn’t believe the shit she was thinking and doing. This had been about sex, about finally getting off
, but Tom had made it about more, just by being Tom. By caring and trying to take care of her.
“Carmina,” he groaned. “I can’t…are you close?”
“Go ahead,” she said. “It’s okay.”
“No way,” he answered. “Not before you do.”
“I can’t,” she admitted. It felt like a weight had been lifted from her chest when she confessed it. “I haven’t been able to since I was wounded.”
Chapter 8
Tom stopped, his breathing cutting through the silence. “Why not?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” she told him honestly. “There’s nothing wrong with me.”
Tom started to pull out but she wrapped her arms and legs around him. “Please,” she begged. “Finish. This feels so good, to have someone inside me.” He started to thrust again but there was a hesitation in his movements that hadn’t been there before.
“It doesn’t feel right,” he said a minute later as he stopped moving. “I feel like a selfish bastard.” He blew out a frustrated breath.
“You’d be doing it for me,” she argued, stroking his hair back. “Isn’t it about me? What I want? I want to feel you come inside me. I want you to finish. Please. I know you can’t understand, but I need that. I need to feel like a woman.”
He kissed her hard on the mouth. “You are all woman,” he told her firmly. “It’s not that I can’t come. Hell, I’ve been holding back since the minute I slipped into this hot, wet pussy. You have no idea how amazing you feel to me. It’s just that it feels selfish. I want something for you, too.”
“This is all for me,” she said with an incredulous laugh. “Oh my God, you feel amazing, too. Don’t you get it? Coming would be nice, but I needed this, too. Just being with someone.”
He hugged her tight. “Be careful what you ask for,” he warned her. “I’m about to go crazy on you. No lie. Hearing a woman talk about how great you feel when you’re fucking her flips a big, macho switch.” Carmina laughed.
Misconduct Page 5
