When they reached him, he was beaming as he gestured to a tree in front of him. “Do you like it?” It was perfect. It looked like a Christmas card.
“I love it,” Carmina said, laughing and clapping her hands. “It’s so pretty! But I don’t want to chop it down.” She pouted.
“If you don’t, miss, someone else will,” the man who ran the tree lot said. “If not this year, then next. And if they get too big, we cut them down and sell them as pulp.” At her accusatory glare, the man shrugged. “It’s a business. We can’t save every pretty tree.”
“Then we’ll take it,” she said. “It at least deserves to go out as someone’s perfect Christmas tree.”
“That’s what they live for,” the man said with a smile. “Did you bring anything to cut it down with?” Tom frowned and looked at Danny.
“What do I look like,” Danny said, “Paul Bunyan?”
“I can cut it for you but it’s an additional fee,” the man said.
“Sold to the man with a saw,” Tom said, happy again.
“Hey, aren’t you Danny Smith?” the man said when he came back with a power saw.
“Yeah,” Danny said. In his experience this could go one of two ways, and both were usually uncomfortable for him.
“Like playing for the Rebels?” the man asked. He hesitated to turn on the saw, obviously waiting for Danny’s answer.
“Yeah,” Danny said honestly, a little surprised by the question. Most people offered an opinion, they didn’t ask for one.
“I can tell,” the man said with a smile. “It shows.” He pulled on the ignition and the saw fired up with a loud screech. Carmina covered her ears and stepped back. Something about the way she did it caught Danny’s eye. She looked like she’d seen a ghost. Danny took a step toward her, but before he could say anything, Tom was pulling her into his arms. She went gladly, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his chest. Danny gestured toward the front of the lot and Tom moved off, still holding Carmina. It only took a couple of minutes to cut the tree down. The man wrapped it in mesh and picked it up.
“I can carry it,” Danny offered. The man laughed.
“I know you can,” he said. “I saw you take down one of them Colts last week. But insurance says I’ve got to carry it to your car. Once you pay and you’re off the lot you can do as you please.”
“Got it,” Danny said, laughing with him. “But that tree couldn’t hurt me near as bad as the Colts,” he told him.
“We won,” the guy said over his shoulder. “No pain, no gain.”
When they got to the front of the lot Danny paid for the tree.
“We don’t have a stand or lights or ornaments or anything,” Carmina said, biting her lip with a frown.
“We’ve got a stand, but that’s it. Walmart’s open until eight,” the tree guy said. “You’ve got half an hour.”
“We’re on a mission,” Tom said. “We can’t fail. Come on. To Walmart!”
—
Carmina stood in front of the tree, smiling. “It’s beautiful,” she said. They’d made it to Walmart with ten minutes left to buy everything they needed. The shelves were mostly bare, but they’d managed to find a string of colored lights and a string of white lights, and two boxes of blue, plastic ball ornaments that were supposed to look like the expensive glass kind. While she’d run up to her apartment to feed Buster, and then take him out for a walk, Tom and Danny had decorated the tree. When she walked in, all the lights were off; just the tree was lit up. It was garish, but sparkly. She’d brought Buster back with her, and he sat beside her, his head cocked to the side as he looked at the tree as if he couldn’t quite figure out what to do with it.
“A tree that pretty deserved better,” Danny said from beside her. She slugged him in the arm.
“Shut up,” she said. “I like it.” Danny just laughed, although she wasn’t sure whether it was at her comment or how ineffective her punch was.
Tom walked over carrying three full champagne glasses. “Take one,” he said.
“I can’t really drink on my meds,” Carmina said regretfully.
“It’s sparkling cider,” Tom told her. “I know you can’t drink. You told me the other night, so I got this instead.” The fact that he remembered made her feel all gooey toward him. She was definitely experiencing the Christmas effect tonight. She loved everyone and everything. There was just something about a Christmas tree that brought out her inner child.
“Thanks,” she said, taking a glass and kissing him on the cheek. He smiled down at her and she found herself hoping they were together next Christmas, too. Maybe they were making memories right now that they’d recall for many, many years together. She’d like that.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“That we’re making memories,” she told him. She looked over at Danny. She wanted him to be a part of them, too, because she was greedy and infatuated and making Christmas wishes.
“Well, I’m not going to forget that ugly tree anytime soon,” Danny said, gesturing at it with his glass.
“Don’t be a grinch,” Carmina said. “You know you love my tree.”
“Oh, it’s yours now?” Danny asked. “How come I paid for it and it’s in my living room?” He smirked at her.
“Because you told me you wanted me to have the perfect Christmas,” Carmina reminded him. “So my tree is in your living room.”
“That makes no sense,” he told her.
Tom held up his glass. “Here’s to perfect Christmases that make no sense,” he said. Carmina clinked her glass with his and then they both turned to Danny. He touched his glass to theirs with an indulgent smile.
“Even your toasts make no sense,” he said, but he drank anyway.
“And the next Christmas Eve tradition,” Tom said, leading Carmina over to the couch, “is Christmas movies.”
“Oh, God,” Danny groaned. “No musicals, please.” He wandered over and sat down in Tom’s lucky chair. Tom didn’t protest, so Carmina guessed that when he wasn’t playing videogames Danny was allowed to sit in it.
“What movie would you like?” Tom asked. “We can find just about anything on demand.”
She thought about it. “Die Hard.”
“Wait. What?” Danny asked in disbelief. “That’s not a Christmas movie.”
“It totally is,” she said firmly. “It takes place at Christmas. At a Christmas party. There’s carols. And Christmas trees and presents.”
“People get shot and blown up,” he protested. “Christmas movies are about Christmas. Not burglaries.”
“Then you pick one,” she said in exasperation.
“I didn’t say I didn’t want to watch it,” Danny told her. “I said it’s not a Christmas movie. Which means I definitely want to watch it.”
“Scrooge,” Tom called him. “Die Hard it is. You know, after football, maybe I’ll become an actor. I could totally have played John McClane. Don’t you think so?” he asked her.
“Absolutely,” she said loyally. “You’d have looked great in that ripped undershirt.” Danny laughed.
“I notice she didn’t mention your acting skills,” he told Tom.
“Acting skills?” Tom said. “I don’t need no stinking acting skills.” Carmina and Danny both laughed. Tom sat down beside her with the remote and found Die Hard on the TV. After he rented it and pressed play, he put the remote on the table and pulled her over, then wrapped his arms around her so that she was practically on his lap in the corner of the couch nearest Danny. She didn’t have the chance to get embarrassed about his public display of affection, because the movie started.
They watched the movie for about an hour, commenting on the action and quoting lines. Carmina couldn’t remember having a more relaxed Christmas. It was as if the awkward conversation in the truck on the way to get the tree had never happened. Of course, as soon as she thought about it, she couldn’t stop thinking about it. Tom and Danny, together. What exactly had they done? She kne
w they hadn’t fucked. Danny had been pretty clear about that. But he’d also said they were horny and went a little crazy. Did they jack off together? Was oral sex involved? Maybe Tom sucked dick as well as he licked pussy. She had to close her eyes and take a deep breath at that image. Maybe Danny…no. He wouldn’t have. He seemed uncomfortable with wanting Tom. But he did. And she’d known it all along. Hadn’t she wondered recently if his intense looks were for Tom or for her? Clearly they were for Tom. She and Danny may have done it, but for him, it was a one-and-done thing. No, he’d been pining for Tom all this time. And now she was coming between them. Then again, Danny seemed determined to deny there was anything there. So what was her obligation here? Did she have to step back and clear the field in case he decided to go for it? But what if he didn’t? What if she walked away from Tom for no good reason? Her head was spinning with all the scenarios.
“Uh-oh,” Tom whispered in her ear. “You’re thinking again. You know what happens when you think too hard.” He kissed the rim of her ear and then licked it and bit it gently.
“What happens?” she asked breathlessly, glancing over to see if Danny had seen Tom kissing her.
“I have to make you stop thinking and start feeling,” Tom told her.
Chapter 27
Tom wasn’t going to try to lie to himself. He had Carmina and Danny right where he wanted them. After that super awkward conversation in the truck, he hadn’t been sure how the rest of the night was going to go. But that conversation had to happen before they could move forward. Not telling Carmina about what happened between him and Danny had been killing him. Danny stepping up and being the one to tell her was huge. Danny had admitted he was into guys. Well, maybe not in so many words, but he’d taken equal blame with Tom for what happened, so he might as well have said the words. That meant game on, as far as Tom was concerned.
And tonight? Tonight had been amazing so far. He had never seen Danny or Carmina so relaxed. Danny had laughed more with them today than Tom could remember him laughing in a single day before. Danny tended to be so serious and intense all the time. He was like a shaking ball of rage walking around. Today Tom had seen a new Danny, a sweet Danny, a Danny who was more worried about Carmina having a perfect Christmas than about any of the crap that constantly weighed him down.
Everything came back to Carmina, for both of them. Why couldn’t Danny see that? Even what had happened between Tom and Danny the other night. Tom had always been attracted to Danny physically, but their friendship prevented him from acting on it. But the reality of Danny and Carmina fucking each other pushed Tom beyond his limits. Watching the two of them fuck would be ultimate-fantasy territory for Tom. And the beauty of it was that Tom knew he’d be the one orchestrating it, telling them both what to do. He got high just thinking about it. And horny.
This whole Dom thing was new to Tom. But he wasn’t really sure either Danny or Carmina wanted that from him, actually. Taking charge in bed wasn’t the same thing as a D/s relationship. Tom had read all about that on the Internet when Fifty Shades of Grey came out, just like everyone else. And while some of the guys he knew jumped right on that shit, Tom hadn’t. Partly because he was still with Theresa and she was no way, no how going to go for it, but also because he wasn’t feeling it. He didn’t want to treat anyone like that. He certainly didn’t get off on it. But ordering Danny and Carmina around in bed? Hell, yeah. That had been damn hot. He was still trying to figure out what it all meant, but he’d never been one to let thinking slow him down. Besides, Carmina and Danny spent way too much time in their heads, and look where it had gotten them. Tom preferred to remain a man of action, thanks.
“What do you want me to feel?” Carmina asked in a breathless whisper.
Tom could actually hear Danny’s breath hitch at her question. It was like all of Tom’s senses became hypersensitive when he was turned on with Danny or Carmina. Every touch, every kiss, every breath was amplified. He was overwhelmed by them, in a good way, until all he could think about was pleasing them. He’d never been a selfish lover, but he’d been as concerned with his own pleasure as he was his partner’s. The last time with Carmina, and when he was with Danny, he hadn’t thought about himself at all. He got his pleasure from theirs, from what he was making them feel. And he’d never had more satisfying sexual experiences. He wasn’t sure what that meant, but he wasn’t willing to let it go, either. And Danny and Carmina—clearly they had a connection. Carmina had come with Danny. Tom wasn’t forgetting that, and he wasn’t letting them forget it either.
“I want you to feel everything,” Tom told her. “Trust me?” He waited for her answer, hoping she knew where this was going, and wanted it, too.
She nodded. “I trust you,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck. Tom rewarded her with a slow, deep kiss. He dipped her down so that she was lying across his lap and cupped the back of her head, holding her to his mouth so he could devour her. She made a sound of surrender deep in her throat and Tom was suddenly overheated, burning up and on the edge, wanting to take her right there and then and give her what he’d given her the other night. He heard a rustle and knew that Danny was getting up to leave. He barely broke the kiss, his lips a breath away from Carmina’s.
“Sit down,” he told Danny. He didn’t even look at him.
“I think it’s time I went to bed,” Danny said in a flat voice. “You two can finish the movie.” Carmina was staring up at Tom, her wide eyes locked on his.
“Sit down and put your hands on the armrests,” Tom said quietly. “Don’t move until I tell you to.”
“No,” Danny said firmly. He sounded equal parts reasonable and angry. His confusion only increased Tom’s arousal. He wanted Danny to sit there and let Tom give him what he needed.
“You do as you’re told,” Tom said quietly. “I know what you need.”
“Dammit, I’m not doing this again,” Danny said sharply. “Don’t think you can play me whenever you want now.”
“Carmina,” Tom said, ignoring Danny’s protest. “Do you remember at the club, what you said? I asked if you wanted to have sex in front of strangers or Danny. And you said strangers. But it didn’t work. At the time I thought you needed Danny. I still believe that.”
“Tell me what to do,” Carmina said breathlessly. “Don’t make me think. Make me feel.”
“Carmina,” Danny said, his breathing labored. “Don’t let him bully you into it.”
“I want whatever Tom wants for me,” Carmina said, her eyes still locked on Tom’s. “Tom knows. He knows what I need.”
“You need Danny,” Tom said simply, kissing her on the forehead. “And I’m going to give you what you need. I’m going to give both of you what you need.”
“Danny,” Carmina said, watching Tom. “Sit down, please. Don’t make me start thinking. Please.”
“I can’t,” Danny said, and there was unmistakable regret and sadness in his voice. “I can’t give you two what you want. I’m sorry.” He turned and left the room without looking back.
Tom watched panic slowly seep into Carmina’s expression. “What did I do?” she asked. “This was a bad idea.” She struggled to rise from Tom’s lap.
“Car,” Tom said, letting her go. “Don’t go, baby. I’m sorry I started it. I really thought Danny was ready to admit what he wanted.”
“Maybe it’s just what you and I want,” Carmina said, confirming Tom’s suspicions. “But we can’t force Danny to do it. God, I’m so confused!” She spun around in a circle, searching for her shoes. When she found them she bent to retrieve them, her movements jerky. Buster got up from where he’d been sleeping by the tree and came over, rubbing his head against her leg with a low whine.
“You’re right,” Tom agreed. He hated to say it, but she needed to hear it. He turned off the TV, the movie nothing more than a distraction now. “I’m sorry. I guess I want to have my cake and eat it, too.” Carmina laughed, sounding a little hysterical.
“You?” she asked, disbeli
ef in her voice. “What about me? I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve barely taken off my sex training wheels and now I think I can have both of you? I don’t think I even deserve one!” She sat down and tried to untie her shoe to put it on.
“You do,” Tom told her. He kneeled beside her and took the shoe from her hand. “Stay the night. We don’t have to do anything. But I want to hold you. I want you to stay the night.”
“And see Danny in the morning?” she said. “No way. He must think I’m a freak. I sleep with you, I sleep with him, I sleep with you, I try to sleep with both of you. And I’m crazy, too. Gee, I sound like a great girl. The kind you bring home to the mental hospital.” She tried to take her shoe back, but Tom held it out of her reach, so she grabbed the other one and stood up. “I don’t need shoes. Crazy people don’t wear shoes.”
“Would you stop with the crazy?” Tom told her, trying to stay calm. He’d royally fucked everything up. “Look, I’m the one who’s crazy about you. Please don’t let me doing something stupid ruin what we have. Please. We can be good together.”
“Can we?” Carmina asked, anguish in her voice. “When both of us are missing Danny? How fucked up is that?” She shook her head. “This is a bad idea. You and Danny…don’t mess that up. Friends like that are important. More important than me.”
“I love Danny,” Tom said, and in one of those blinding moments of clarity realized it was true. He stood up and faced her. “But I’m not going to give you up, because I hope one day he realizes what we could have. What I want with Danny? I have with you right now.”
“Don’t say you love me,” Carmina said in a panicked voice. “It’s too soon. How do you know? I can’t handle it. The responsibility of someone else’s love. I’m still relearning how to love myself.”
“Then I won’t say it,” Tom promised. “All I want is to be there for you, Car. I want to give you whatever you need.”
Misconduct Page 19
