“Who put that look on your face?” his dad asked with a grin. “Let me guess. It’s that pretty young woman you brought home. Ryan.”
“Yeah,” Ben said as he slipped the phone back into his pocket.
“How long have you two known each other?” It was the first time David had directly spoken to Ben since the tux fitting, and Ben was swamped with feelings of awkwardness at the interaction.
Speaking casually to his brother was as foreign to him as writing with his left hand. “A few months.”
“You guys serious?”
Ben had to bite his tongue against a sarcastic retort. Reminding them what had happened the last time he had a serious girlfriend was probably not the way to keep the peace with his family. “I mean, we’re not getting married anytime soon, but we’re both committed to seeing where it goes.”
“That’s good. She seems nice.” David’s eyes locked on Ben’s for a moment, and Ben saw nothing but sincerity in them.
“Thanks. She is.”
The conversation flowed a little more smoothly after that. And Ben wondered if maybe, just maybe, he and his brother could get through the rest of the time without killing one another after all. The air between them was still tense, but it was more as if they were dance partners who were unfamiliar with the way their counterpart moved. They were both so busy avoiding one another’s toes, they weren’t letting themselves go with the flow and find a groove.
Thankfully their dad kept the conversation moving and engaged them both in a way that accommodated the fragility of the situation. By the time they called it a day, Ben was surprised to find that he had actually enjoyed himself.
When they arrived back at the house, all Ben wanted to do was find Ryan and decompress with her, but his mom had other plans. She cornered him in the foyer as soon as he arrived and told him to help her in the kitchen. What now?
His mom pulled out a few potatoes and passed him a peeler before getting one for herself and standing beside him.
Ben began peeling, but couldn’t resist asking, “You do realize this isn’t enough potatoes for all of us, right?”
His mom leveled him with a steely gaze. “Peel.”
Ben let out a low whistle through his teeth and focused his attention on the potato that would probably end up in the woods behind their house. They peeled in silence for a few minutes as Ben waited for his mom to say the real reason she’d dragged him in here.
It took her about three minutes. “Ryan seems like a very nice girl.”
Ben never knew how to react to his mother’s use of the word “nice.” She used the word both when she meant it and when she meant the exact opposite, as well as a variety of opinions in between. Ben would wait until she elaborated before commenting.
“She was wonderful with Tia today.”
Ben hummed in response, giving the potato much more attention than it required.
“She seems to have a good head on her shoulders and fit in really well with all of the girls.”
“I’m glad,” he replied in the hopes of speeding this up.
“I don’t think I would’ve put you two together if I’d known you independently of one another.”
Here we go.
“Which is probably a good thing since I’ve never had much success when I’ve tried to set you up with women in the past.”
Wait, what? Ben set down his peeler and faced his mother.
“You seem like a good match. I’m glad you brought her here with you.” His mom retrieved a bowl and began piling the potatoes in it.
“So . . . you like her?”
“Yes, very much.” She narrowed her eyes as she studied him. “Why do you look so surprised?”
“Because you never like anybody,” he blurted before he could censor himself. To his relief, his mom simply laughed.
“I like Natasha,” she said.
“Maybe we shouldn’t go there,” Ben said as he added his potatoes to the bowl. He went to grab the trashcan, but his mom’s hand on his arm stopped him.
“I think we should go there, actually.”
“Why? It was a long time ago. No point in rehashing the past.”
“There is when you can’t move past it.”
Ben let out a harsh laugh. “What are you talking about? It was over ten years ago. I think I’m past it.”
“Then why haven’t you settled down yet?”
Throwing his hands up, Ben burst out, “Because I haven’t met anyone worth settling down with.”
“Pardon my language, but that’s crap and you know it. You haven’t even tried to find someone. It’s been a series of doomed - to - fail - from - the - start relationships ever since Natasha left you. That is, until Ryan. I can see you really making a go of things with her, but to do that, you’re going to have to get over yourself and go make things right with your brother.”
Ben tried—and failed—to keep his voice from rising. “First of all, my not having found someone to marry has nothing to do with Natasha or David. Second, why do I have to be the one to make things right? He’s the one who still holds a grudge. Tell him to get over it.”
His mother put up a finger. “One, you don’t tell me what to do. Don’t forget who you’re speaking to. Two, it has everything to do with what happened with Natasha, not because I don’t think you’re over her but because you’re not over what she did to you. And third . . .” She moved closer to Ben, reached up, and took his face in her hands. “It has to be you because you’re the strong one. If you don’t do it, it’ll never get done. And I don’t want my boys hating each other anymore.”
Ben looked down at his mother, their eyes asking questions and providing answers, even though Ben would have to ask them out loud because he couldn’t trust that what he was seeing was the truth. Which was ultimately the crux of all his problems, just as his mother had implied. He didn’t trust. Hardly anyone had ever gotten past the wall he’d built. It was built of the toughest things: anger and betrayal—the sturdiest mortar there was. And all of this was why he had to ask, “Why’d you say I’m the strong one? I know you don’t think that.”
Her brow furrowed as she dropped her hands to his shoulders. “How could I not think that?”
Ben shrugged and immediately felt like the action propelled him back to being a teenager. “I don’t know. I guess I just never felt . . . I feel like I let you guys down all the time. Like you wish I did something else. That I was something else.” Ben’s eyes dropped to the floor, but his mother’s voice drew them back to her.
“Benjamin, look at me.” She waited until his eyes were on hers before she continued. “Do we worry? Yes. Do we understand your love of a sport we can’t even follow, let alone participate in with you? No. But despite our not understanding, and though I’m ashamed to admit it, despite our reluctance about it, you always forged ahead with it anyway. It didn’t matter that we weren’t behind you because you never needed us there. You see something you want and you go and get it, even if you have to do it all on your own. That’s why you’re the strong one. I’m so proud of the man you are. And I’m sorry for not making sure you knew it.”
She drew Ben to her, and he went willingly. They embraced and Ben felt lighter. But he still had more to let go of. “I may not have needed you there. But it would’ve been nice to have you there anyway.”
His mother’s arms tightened around him. “I know. I’m so sorry.”
He took a deep, shuddering breath. “It’s okay,” Ben whispered. Tears pricked at his eyes as he realized he meant those words. He’d needed to hear the apology, but now that he had, he could let it go. He hadn’t realized exactly how much resentment he held until he was able to release it. Maybe it could be like that with David too. It was at least something to think about.
His mom drew back a little and said, “For what my opinion is worth, I feel that Ryan would be there for you. If you let her. I don’t want you to lose something that could be the best thing that ever happened to you because you’re hold
ing on to past hurts, Ben.”
Ryan had already been there for him. From day one, she’d had his back. And while he knew that it had started because he was paying her, it was more than that now. There wasn’t a single part of him that doubted it. And maybe it could continue to grow if he did as his mom said and got out of his own way. But he couldn’t go into all that with her, so he settled on, “I’ll work on it, Mom.” And he would.
Chapter Thirty
Gabe leaned toward Ben as the party bus coasted down the street. “Maybe you’ll hit another escort with a door tonight. That’ll be fun.”
Even though Gabe had whispered, Ben still looked around to see if anyone had overheard. While he was glad Gabe and Jace had made it up in time to go with him to the bachelor party—which David had thankfully been cool about when Ben had asked if they could come—he also wished Gabe would shut the fuck up. “Seriously, dude?”
“What? No one heard me. Lighten up, Williamson. This is supposed to be fun.” Gabe reclined in his seat and started talking to one of the groomsmen sitting across from him.
Ben did know that the night was supposed to be fun—he’d planned it with that end in mind. They’d already had an amazing dinner at a steakhouse, and now they were heading to a high-end strip club. Ben wasn’t exactly sure what made a strip club “high-end,” but he’d asked the other groomsmen where a good spot was, and they’d said that Aces Wild Saloon was the best place around. Ben hoped they were right. He didn’t need the fragile truce he and David had arrived at to be obliterated because he took him to a shady spot filled with drug-addled women who thought humping the floor naked constituted dancing.
“Let’s do some shots!” one of the other groomsmen, Sean, yelled as he wielded a tequila bottle over his head like a rowdy frat boy. Which Ben supposed most of the guys were, since David had gone to college with them and been in a fraternity there.
“No way, man,” Gabe said as he waved Sean off. “Tequila is like my Aunt Theresa. It always sounds like a good idea to invite her over until it’s two a.m. and we need to force her out of the house.”
Sean’s brow crinkled. “I don’t get it.”
“He’ll feel sick until he pukes it up later,” Ben said as he reached out to take one of the plastic shot glasses Sean was handing out.
Gabe beamed at him. “I love how you get me.”
“Stop flirting with me,” Ben said before tipping the glass back and letting the fiery liquid slide down his throat.
Gabe scoffed. “As if. Jace is way more my type.”
Ben laughed and then looked up to see Sean still standing there. He was staring at them as though he was trying to decide if they were kidding. Ben winked at him, not intending to help him figure it out.
Sean looked flustered before deciding to walk away from them.
Jace, who was sitting across from them, leaned toward him. “Maybe we don’t make the locals uncomfortable tonight.”
“Locals? This is Connecticut, not the town in Deliverance,” Ben said.
“Was there a town in that movie? I thought they were in the woods,” Gabe said.
Ben gave him a withering look before turning back to Jace, who said, “I meant, local more in the sense of them all being friends and we’re outsiders.”
“I’m the groom’s brother. I’m not an outsider,” Ben argued, though he knew it wasn’t true. Ben was as much of an outsider as the rest of them, brother or not. It was a shame. He let his eyes drift to the back of the party bus where David’s friends were all gathered around him, joking and laughing. It had been a long time since Ben had let himself acknowledge the pain that came with thinking about what could have—and should have—been. He looked away, not wanting the sight of what he’d missed out on to ruin the night.
They pulled up outside Aces Wild Saloon about ten minutes later and made their way inside. Ben was glad to see that the place really was nice. They were led to the VIP area, which had red leather couches and low black tables. Their waitress wore a black lace bra and booty shorts and had champagne on ice waiting for them. Ben watched her as she poured, thinking about how much better Ryan would look in that outfit—not because the server wasn’t attractive, but because Ben favored the thought of Ryan practically naked to pretty much anything else.
A dancer came over to the pole in front of them and began gyrating against it. Ben took the moment to text Ryan. I have a question for you.
I may have an answer, she replied.
Ben smiled at her smart-ass reply. Do you have a black lace bra and panties?
That’s . . . not at all what I thought you were going to ask.
What did you think I would ask?
No idea. Just not that.
Ben was thinking of what to say back when another text from Ryan came through. But I might own something like that.
Did you bring it with you? Ben’s reply probably sounded a little overly enthusiastic, but he couldn’t help it. Picturing her in that outfit was a major turn-on.
Are you trying to sext me while you’re at a strip club?
That was quite a leap to make. But if she was game, Ben wouldn’t turn her down. Well, I wasn’t until you brought it up.
Go have fun with your friends, Benjamin.
Oh, hell no. She wasn’t bailing on him after putting the idea of phone sex in his head. What are you wearing?
LMAO, you saw me leave the hotel room. You know what I’m wearing.
You’re not very good at this. Ben smirked at his phone as he hoped a little reverse psychology would get her to play along. It didn’t.
Nice try. See you later ;)
Ben was pretty sure he’d never looked at a phone with such disappointment in his life.
“Dude, put your phone away. You’re going to get us kicked out of here,” Gabe whispered harshly.
“What? Why?” Ben asked as he pocketed his phone.
Gabe looked at him in shock. “Sometimes I don’t know what I see in you.”
Ben rolled his eyes and looked at Jace. “Do you know what the fuck he’s talking about?”
Gabe continued, “We have so little in common. Guess what they say is true: Opposites attract.”
Jace laughed before he answered, “You’re not allowed to have cell phones out in strip clubs.”
“Oh. Yeah, I think I knew that.”
“How do you think you know something?” Jace asked.
Ben shrugged. “I’m gifted.”
They sat back and watched the goings on around them for a bit, making idle chitchat while David’s friends poured drinks down his throat.
“I should bring her as my date to the wedding,” Gabe said as he nodded toward the brunette dancing on the stage in front of them.
“You already have a date,” Jace said.
“Yeah, but I told her I was keeping my options open.”
Ben stared at him. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Thank you,” Gabe replied.
“What’s your date’s name again?” Jace asked Gabe.
“I don’t know. I’ll go ask her when she’s done dancing up there.” Jace smacked his arm and Gabe burst out laughing. “Apple,” he answered.
“Oh, yeah, how could I forget,” Jace murmured.
Right then, Ben’s attention was grabbed by a familiar voice to his right. “No, man, really, I’m good,” David said as he tried to push his buddy Matt’s hand off his arm.
David was smiling, but his face looked pinched. Ben’s entire body tensed as he sat forward in his seat.
“Come on. Ya gotta do it. It’s a rite of passage,” Matt said as he tried to pull David toward the stage.
David tried to stand his ground, but his other friends pushed in around him, causing him to shuffle forward. “I’m not into it. Let one of the other guys do it.”
“No way,” Sean said. “You have to.”
The group started jostling David in earnest. Ben was off the couch and pushing through the men before he even had time to realize what he was doing. Ben
rose to his full height, which wasn’t much taller than some of them, but he sure as fuck was broader. The only one there that could even remotely give him a run for his money was Jace, and since he was standing at Ben’s shoulder, Ben knew he didn’t have anything to worry about there. “He said he wasn’t interested,” Ben said, his voice low but clear.
“He’s nervous. He’ll be fine once he gets up there,” Craig, another groomsman, said.
Ben looked around at the group and immediately knew the guys were wasted. They were all radiating ramped-up testosterone and sloppy decision-making. It was the kind of thing that could turn to hell quickly. “Why don’t we all sit down and relax for a bit?”
“Ben, don’t worry about it. They’re my friends. I can handle them,” David said from behind him.
Ben knew that was probably the truth. David may not have been a hockey player, but his build was similar to Ben’s. Still, Ben couldn’t bring himself to move.
“Come on, David. Stop being a pussy and get up there,” Sean yelled.
The men all started cheering raucously. One of the guys tried to muscle Ben out of the way, which was a bad move. Ben pushed the man backward and he likely would’ve fallen if his friends hadn’t been there to catch him.
“What the fuck, man?” Matt snarled as he got up in Ben’s face.
Ben didn’t move. He just smiled down at the stupid man in front of him.
“You’re going to want to back the fuck up,” Jace said.
“Or what?” Matt said, his eyes never leaving Ben’s.
“Or he’s probably going to beat the shit out of you,” Gabe quipped from Ben’s other side.
“Go for it,” Matt said before pushing Ben roughly.
Before Ben could even react, David pushed past him and punched his friend in the jaw. Matt sprawled out on the ground as Ben gaped. “Holy shit, David. That was impressive.”
David shook his hand out as he replied, “Who do you think taught you to throw a punch?”
Ben smiled at that and David returned it.
“What the hell, David? What’d you hit him for?” Sean asked.
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