She was gone.
My Annabelle was gone.
Hours passed.
The tears finally ran dry.
I remained on the floor.
I couldn’t bring myself to leave the last place where I had any hope of finding her. In my mind, if I left, it would all be real. As long as I was there waiting for her, she would come back. She would know I was there and come back.
Pop found me on the floor of her bedroom well after the sun had gone down. He silently sat down beside me and placed his arm around my shoulders. He never once asked me if I was okay or told me I needed to leave. He just waited with me until I was able to walk out of that house by my own choice, which ended up being around 7am the next morning.
Gram was waiting for us on the front porch, nervously pacing back and forth. When I was within arm’s reach, she hugged me tightly and tried to ease the pain of my broken heart. Nothing short of finding Annabelle would take away any of the pain.
“Phoenix, honey, your hands,” Gram gasped. “I think we need to go to the hospital.”
“Let him be, love. The only thing hurting him right now is his heart and there’s nothing the hospital can do for that,” Pop said.
I left them on the porch and stumbled to my room in a daze. I managed to get a few hours of sleep before I set out and scoured the town. I asked anyone and everyone I could find about Annabelle and her parents. No one had any answers. I tried to track down Macy, but Pop told me she moved away after she and Aaron broke up and Annabelle disappeared. Pop said he still talked to her every now and then, but he waited for her to call him because it was hard for her to talk about Annabelle.
I spent the entire two weeks of my leave relentlessly searching for any clues as to what happened to my girl. I was devastated when my time was up and I had to return to base. I needed more time to search. I considered taking my chances and not returning, but Pop convinced me otherwise by promising to continue searching for her in my absence.
So, with a tearful goodbye, I left my grandparents’ house and returned to base not knowing what happened to the love of my life.
CHAPTER NINE
Annabelle
I woke up feeling like crap. My back was killing me and the stupid Braxton-Hicks contractions wouldn’t let up. “Slightly uncomfortable” my ass. These fuckers hurt. To top it off, apparently, I peed in the bed while I was sleeping. Heaving myself out of bed, I waddled to the bathroom and quickly realized two things. I hadn’t peed in the bed and I wasn’t having Braxton-Hicks contractions.
Wrapping my arms around my large belly, I doubled over in pain when the next contraction hit. As soon as I was able to take a breath, I screamed, “Octavius!”
He walked into the bathroom attached to my bedroom and studied me. His eyes held nothing but contempt. “What is it, Annelle?”
Was he fucking serious? “It’s time, Octavius. The baby is coming,” I gritted out.
He nodded. “Well, let’s get you over to see the doctor,” he said, sounding bored.
He took his sweet time covering the car seat with trash bags so I didn’t ruin the interior of his car with my “fluids of life,” his words, not mine. If I physically could have, I would have kneed him in the balls. Could he not tell I was in a significant amount of pain and needed medical attention ASAP? Of course, he could; he just didn’t care. I don’t know why I thought he might have some sort of compassion for me.
When we arrived at the clinic on the farm, I waddled inside without any assistance from Octavius. He walked right past the receptionist and through the door that led to the patient rooms in the back of the clinic, leaving me standing in the waiting room clutching my stomach and grunting with each contraction.
He returned a few minutes later and instructed me to follow him. He led me to a room in the very back corner of the clinic. It looked more like Dr. Frankenstein’s lab than any clinic room I had ever seen before.
“Climb up on the table, Annelle,” the doctor said.
“In case you haven’t noticed, that’s physically impossible for me to do at this time,” I snapped.
Octavius huffed. “Oh, fine. Just try not to drip on me,” he muttered in disgust as he reached under my arms to lift me onto the table.
I can’t say what happened next was my finest moment, but he deserved it and so much more. The moment my feet were off the ground, I pretended to have another contraction while I emptied my bladder all over his legs and feet.
He dropped me onto the table and started dancing around, squealing in horror. I barely managed to contain my laughter while I watched him hurry to remove his piss soaked socks and shoes.
I should have been paying attention to the doctor and not Octavius. Had I been, I would have seen him walking toward me with a syringe in his hand.
He jabbed the needle in my arm and said, “Annelle, I’m going to put you to sleep. You need to have a C-section.” I don’t know what he gave me, but I was rapidly succumbing to it. I didn’t even get a chance to ask how he knew I needed to have a C-section without examining me first.
When I woke, I was in a lot of pain and my mind felt cloudy. I tried to sit up, but was quickly pushed back down by a large, cold hand. “You can’t get up right now, Annelle,” Octavius said.
“Where’s my baby? Did everything go okay?” I asked.
He smiled at me. He never smiled. A sick feeling washed over me. Something was wrong. I just knew it.
When he continued to smile at me, I demanded, “Tell me where my baby is!”
“I’m sorry, Annelle. Your little girl was stillborn. The doctor tried to resuscitate her, but he said she had been gone too long,” Octavius said in an almost jovial tone.
A little girl.
I had a little girl.
Had.
Had.
HAD.
“I want to see her!”
“Unfortunately, that’s not possible. We’ve already removed the carcass from the premises.”
I slapped him across the face using every bit of strength I had. “Don’t you ever call my baby a carcass again, you sadistic son of a bitch.”
I slumped back into the bed. My physical pain was all but forgotten as I was consumed with an agony I didn’t know existed. A hurt so great, no one should ever have to feel it. My little girl didn’t make it. I did everything I could to make sure she was healthy. What went wrong? What did I do? How was I going to continue living without her? Why would I want to? I didn’t even get to hold her. I didn’t get to see her. I felt like I was suffocating as unanswered questions and powerful emotions consumed me. I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t want to breathe.
I vaguely heard Octavius saying something. Then, the doctor appeared beside my bed and put something into my IV. Moments later, I slipped into the darkness, in more ways than one.
CHAPTER TEN
Annabelle
Six weeks later
“Annelle, need I remind you again that you agreed to this? I’ve been patient, but it’s time to have the wedding ceremony so we can get you pregnant. The doctor said we could start trying to conceive a child six weeks after your delivery. It’s been six weeks today. You can participate willingly, or not, I don’t really care,” Octavius said.
Annelle. I hated that fucking name, especially hearing his smarmy ass say it. Turning to face him, I smiled cruelly. “I’ve had time to give this some thought. I never agreed to marry you. I did agree to bear you a son, but I never agreed to be your wife or have sexual intercourse with you.”
He blanched. “What exactly are you saying?”
My smile grew even wider. “I’m saying I won’t marry you and there is no way in hell I will allow you to stick your dick in me. If you want me to carry your child, you need to find a cup with a lid and a magazine you’ll enjoy.”
“Watch it. I can make your life a living hell, Annelle.”
“You already have. But fine, go ahead and go back on your word. I’ll be more than happy to tell anyone and everyone around here wh
o will listen about how you don’t stand by what you promise.”
“Fuck!” he screamed and slammed the door as he left the room.
I knew that would get him. He had some serious hang-ups, and one of those was being true to his word. He never specified the manner in which a son would be conceived. I agreed to give him a son, but I never agreed to give him my body. My body belonged to only one man, as well as my heart.
He returned several days later to take me to the clinic. I hated that fucking place with a passion. If I ever got the chance, I would set it on fire and watch it burn to the ground.
“Why did you bring me here?” I asked the asshole beside me.
“To get the process started for in vitro fertilization. As you pointed out, you agreed to give me a son, but did not agree to sexual intercourse. You also did not agree to give me a daughter. This method will ensure a son is implanted in your womb.”
Eight weeks later, tests confirmed I was pregnant with the spawn of Satan after one round of IVF. Eight months later, I gave birth to a healthy baby boy via C-section, one I was actually conscious for, though I would’ve preferred not to be.
I tried, I really did, to love that little baby boy, but I could barely stand to look at him. I made sure he was cared for and well taken care of, but I didn’t hold him or spend any time with him when I didn’t have to. Funny thing was, as much as I thought I didn’t love him, I couldn’t find it in myself to leave him behind, either.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Annabelle
Thirteen years ago
“Did you text him?” I asked. I was a nervous wreck. I just knew something was going to go wrong and I couldn’t afford for anything to go wrong. If it did, I would never get an opportunity like this again.
“I did and he replied back. Everything is all set and they’re expecting us,” Kathleen replied. “I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now, but try to calm down a little. My brother is very good at what he does. He’ll take care of you. I promise.”
I wanted to believe her, but I was afraid to hope. My life had been a miserable existence for the last six years. This was my one chance to get me and my son away from Octavius and start a new life.
Kathleen and her husband lived on the farm property. Kathleen worked part-time as a secretary in the dairy farm’s office and her husband was a full-time dairy farm employee. They also had a little boy named Coal who was about a year older than Nivan.
After years of building a relationship with Kathleen, I finally found the courage to ask her if she would help me escape. I explained to her that I didn’t live on the farm by my own choice and Octavius was keeping me there after he forced me to have his child. She was shocked at first, but readily agreed to help me.
As luck would have it, Kathleen’s brother, Luke, was a federal agent and had the resources to make people disappear. Kathleen convinced him to help me while keeping it under the radar. He formulated a plan and made all of the arrangements. We needed to wait for Octavius to be out of town on a business trip, then we just had to show up at the designated location.
The morning of my planned escape, I showed up at Kathleen’s house with Nivan and fairly large box. She opened the door and eyed the box curiously while she ushered us into her house.
“I know I can’t take anything with me, but there were a few things I couldn’t bear to leave with Octavius. Will you do something with them for me? It’s really not that much. I put some of Nivan’s toys on top of my things, in case anybody asked to look in the box. And there’s no reason Coal shouldn’t have them since we can’t take them with us,” I explained.
Kathleen gave me a sad smile. “Thank you, Annelle. I’ll take care of your things for you.”
When we arrived at the Cedar Valley Emergency Department, Kathleen carried Nivan and helped me inside. She told them she found me on the side of the road. I was doing my best to act like I had a head injury and couldn’t talk. Kathleen was holding my son in her lap and quietly reminding him to not answer any questions. She followed along as I was placed in a room and registered as Jane Doe.
Luke had a friend who was a resident at Cedar Valley Regional Hospital. He was watching for a Jane Doe to show up in the Emergency Department. He was assigned as my doctor and when the coast was clear, he led me to an exit at the back of the hospital while avoiding all security cameras.
At the back of the hospital, a blacked out SUV was waiting by the loading dock. I climbed in the back and was whisked away to a private airfield several hours from Cedar Valley. From there, I was flown to California, where Luke had set up my new life. He had a fully furnished house waiting for me, a new identity, money to get started on, and even a job.
I don’t think I took a full breath until I closed the front door of my new house and set the security alarm. Then, I exhaled that full breath and dropped to my knees in tears. I was utterly relieved to finally be away from Octavius and his evil ways, but I was beyond devastated that my new life meant Phoenix could never be a part of it. For me, that was the hardest part about leaving. I loved that man with my whole heart and I was having a hard time accepting that he was forever lost to me.
In a way, I was also lost. I was no longer Annabelle Burnett, the girl from Croftridge who fell in love with her high school sweetheart and planned to marry him and have his babies. Now, I was Taylor Davis, a new resident of northern California, and I had no idea who she was.
PART TWO
CHAPTER TWELVE
Phoenix
Present Time
I sat at my desk going through yet another stack of papers found in one of the hidden rooms on the farm property. Octavius kept meticulous records, which created a lot of paperwork. It had taken me almost a year to get through the better part of it, and I still had nothing on Annabelle.
I tossed the current papers I was holding in the shredder and moved to the next folder in the stack. When I opened it, my breath caught in my chest. I closed my eyes and slowly opened them again, not believing what I was seeing. At the top of the first paper in the folder was the name I had been searching for.
Annabelle Burnett.
My hands were shaking as I carefully placed the folder on my desk and began looking through it. My heart was pounding in my chest, blood whooshing in my ears as I looked at the contents of the folder. The first things I saw were Annabelle’s birth certificate and social security card. Behind that, I found birth records for Ember, Coal, and Nivan. Then, Nivan’s death certificate. Though, it was the next few papers that caught me by surprise.
There were two hospital reports, one for a Jane Doe and the other for a Johnny Doe, admitted to Cedar Valley Regional Emergency Department. I carefully read through the reports.
A woman and young boy were found on the side of the road. The woman appeared to have some sort of head trauma and was unable to answer any questions. The young boy refused to talk to any of the hospital staff. The woman was sent for a CT scan of her head, but never arrived in the Radiology Department. According to the reports, the woman was nowhere to be found, assumed to have left against medical advice and the young boy was found dead in his hospital bed. Both reports had the same date as the date on Nivan’s death certificate.
The name of the physician who had written the report caught my eye. After reading it twice to be sure I wasn’t mistaken, I picked up my phone and placed a call. Each ring was excruciatingly long until he finally picked up. “Patch, get your ass in my office right now!”
***
When Patch arrived, I handed him the report and immediately started questioning him. He was reluctant at first, but finally told me Luke Johnson had asked him to take that particular case. There was nothing actually wrong with the woman; her coming to the hospital was just a means to help her escape.
“I swear, Prez, if I had known it was Annabelle, or even thought it was, I would’ve told you. When I joined the club and heard you talking about your past, it never occurred to me that the woman I helped could have been your
girl. I never knew her name. I didn’t even know where she came from. Luke said it was better that way, plausible deniability and all that.”
“Relax,” I said. “I’m not pissed at you. I just want to know what you know so I can fucking find her.”
“That’s really about it. I ordered a CT scan for her. When it was time for the test, I volunteered to take her to Radiology. Instead, I led her to the back of the hospital where a car was waiting. She got in and I went back inside. I don’t know what happened after that,” he explained.
“So, the boy wasn’t found dead in his hospital room?”
Confusion washed over Patch’s face. “What boy?”
“The boy who came to the hospital with her. Her son,” I said and handed him the other hospital report.
Patch looked over the paper. “I’ve never seen this report before. And I would certainly remember finding a young child dead in their hospital room.”
“It has your name on it,” I pointed out.
“Well, it was fucking forged. I swear, Phoenix, there was no child with her.”
“It says right there that she arrived with a small child!” I yelled, stabbing my finger at the paper on my desk.
“I know what it says, Prez. I’m telling you, she didn’t have a kid with her. Maybe Luke knew something I didn’t.”
“Yeah, okay. I’ll see what I can get out of Luke. Thanks, brother.” With that, Patch left my office and I placed another call.
“Phoenix, what’s up man?” Luke answered.
“Any chance you’re around and can swing by the clubhouse?” I asked. I did not want to have this conversation over the phone, and I’m sure he didn’t either.
“Sure. I’m in the city so it’ll be about an hour or so. Is everything okay?” he asked, hesitantly.
Phoenix (Blackwings MC Book 3) Page 4
