Coal and Ember both laughed, but it was Ember that answered, “Because we’re not stupid, Dad. I haven’t been around all that long, but in the time I have been around the club, no one has ever gone on a solo run, especially for the length of time you said you would be gone. Plus, your son is a part of the club, and those bikers gossip worse than most women.”
“I see. Does Dash know you’re here?”
“Nope,” she said, popping the p, “but I’ll text him now and let him know where I am.”
I sat there quietly observing their interactions. The three of them seemed very comfortable with one another, which should have comforted me, but it had the opposite effect. I felt like an outsider, a stranger. Suddenly, I felt like I was suffocating in that room and I desperately needed a moment to compose myself. Quietly, I excused myself to the restroom.
Once I was behind the safety of the closed door, I finally let out the breath that had been trapped in my chest. I knew I didn’t have much time to get myself together before I needed to go back out there and face them, talk to them, but I just couldn’t get a handle on myself. As if on cue, there was a knock on the door.
I braced myself and pulled the door open, fully expecting Phoenix to push his way into the bathroom with me. Instead, I was met with Ember’s soft face. She gave me a small smile and said, “I have less than two minutes before Dad comes barging in so I’ll get right to it. Coal and I are both glad that you’re here. We want to get to know you and have you be a part of our lives. This has to be unbelievably overwhelming, so Coal and I are going to head out soon. I thought maybe tomorrow you and I could spend some time together in the morning and then you and Coal could spend some time together tomorrow afternoon. That way it doesn’t feel like you’re under the microscope while you’re trying to find your footing.”
I pulled her into a hug. “You’re a very smart young woman.”
She leaned back and met my eyes. “I know what it feels like. I had the whole club watching when Dad and I were trying to develop a relationship and then again with Coal. It was stressful, to say the least.”
I hugged her again and kissed the top of her head. “Thank you for that. I do want to know you and Coal and be a part of your lives, very much. I think I’m just scared to believe this is really happening. It was hard when I lost Phoenix, but it almost killed me when I lost you. If I had known about Coal back then, it probably would have killed me. I can’t go through a loss like that again.”
“It’s real, I promise.” She squeezed me tighter and sighed. “I’m so glad he found you.”
“Me, too, baby girl. Me, too.”
When Ember and I returned from the bathroom, we ran into Phoenix in the hallway. She was right. He was on his way to barge in and solve problems. The four of us sat and talked casually for another 30 minutes or so before the kids left. I made plans to spend the following morning with Ember and the afternoon with Coal. Unfortunately, to do so meant I had to go back to the farm and that was something I wholeheartedly did not want to do.
I was fairly quiet for the rest of the evening. Blessedly, Phoenix didn’t push for me to talk. Of all the things to process from the last week of my life, the one thing that kept cycling through my mind was going back to the farm. Years ago, I promised myself if I ever got away from that dreadful place I would never return. At the time, I had no idea I would one day have grown children happily living on the property.
“You okay, doll face?” Phoenix’s deep rumble caused me to jolt.
“Yeah, just tired. I think I’m going to take a shower and go to bed,” I answered, hoping he believed my lie. He didn’t.
“Know you’re lying to me, doll face. What I don’t know is why…” he trailed off expecting me to answer.
I huffed. “My world has been completely upended this past week. I met my children, as my children, for the first time today. Not to mention we just rode halfway across the country on a motorcycle, survived a tornado, and drove the rest of the way in a box truck. I think I have a right to be tired!”
He stalked closer to me. “Yeah, you do have a right to be tired, but none of the things you just spewed has anything to do with what’s bothering you. You gonna tell me or do I need to make you?”
“Fuck off, Phoenix. Don’t you dare talk to me like I’m a child!” I yelled.
He placed his hands on my hips and held me in place. “Then stop acting like one and start talking.”
I turned my head to the side and muttered, “I don’t want to go to the farm.”
He engulfed me with his arms. “Oh, baby, I didn’t realize you were scared to go back there.”
“I’m not scared. I just don’t want to.”
He lightly chuckled. “You’re scared and that’s okay. Listen, Ember and Coal live there. Do you think I would let my kids live somewhere that wasn’t safe?” He didn’t wait for me to answer. “A few of the club members work for Ember and some even live out there. Kathleen and Jeff still live there. Plus, a lot of things have changed. Parts of it don’t even look the same.”
I knew he was trying to help, but there was little to nothing he could say that would make me feel any better about the whole thing. Or so I thought.
“How about I go with you? Not to hover over you and the kids, but just so you know I’m there. We’ll ride over in my truck and you can keep the keys so you can leave whenever you want,” he offered.
I nodded into his chest. “That sounds good.”
He took a step back and met my eyes. “All right, now that that’s settled, you need to check your phone before you get in the shower. It’s been ringing a lot. It’s downstairs in your bag. Want me to get it for you?”
When he returned with my bag, I picked up my phone to look at the missed calls, but it started ringing in my hand.
“Hello,” I answered, inwardly cringing when I realized who had been calling.
“Hell, girl, you’ve damn near given me a heart attack! I haven’t heard from you in days. Token and I were getting ready to come looking for you!” Wave barked into the phone.
“I’m so sorry! I’m fine, really. The trip didn’t go as expected, but we made it to Croftridge a few hours ago,” I rushed out.
“I see. Well, start talking, half pint. Tell me all about it.”
I was on the phone with Wave for well over an hour. He was like the father I never had but always wished for. He wasn’t old enough to be my father, but that was the role he played in my life. By the time we were finished, I was exhausted. I sent a quick text to Nathan and decided to skip the shower. Minutes later I was fast asleep.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Annabelle
Phoenix held my hand with a firm grip as we approached the gates to the farm. He was right, the place did look different, but that didn’t stop my mind from telling me to run as far and as fast as I could from the Gates of Hell.
“What’s with the guards at the gate?” I asked.
He grimaced and shifted in his seat. “We had a situation a month or so ago and the club decided having men on the gate was the best way to secure the property.”
I stiffened. “What kind of situation?”
He sighed, clearly not wanting to tell me. “My club brother’s kid was kidnapped by his estranged wife’s sister. Kathleen was watching him when he was taken. We never figured out how she got onto the property, so I put measures in place to make sure no one else unwanted could get in here.”
We drove past the place where Octavius’s house used to be, the place I used to live, and I was shocked to see nothing but grass. The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. “Where’s the house?”
Phoenix laughed, but it was a laugh filled with hate. “Blew that fucker up the first chance I got.”
I smiled. “Good.” Learning that the house I was forced to live in with Octavius was gone relieved some of my fear about returning to the farm.
We pulled up to a house on the property that had not been there during the years I spent o
It took me several minutes to get myself together enough to get out of the truck. I warily approached the house, waiting for some unforeseen boogie man to jump out and grab me. Raising my shaking hand, I lightly knocked on the door.
I was in the middle of arguing with myself about staying versus running back to the car and high-tailing it out of there when the door opened. A very handsome young man smiled at me and opened the door wider. “You must be Annabelle. I’m Ember’s fiancé, Dash. Please come in. Ember is finishing up in the kitchen. She’ll be right out.”
I followed the young man into their living room and glanced around. They had a beautiful home. I couldn’t help but notice that the decor was eerily similar to my house in California. Like mother, like daughter, I thought.
Ember came through a door on the other side of the room, wiping her hands on a frilly and flirty apron. Before I could comment on it, she smiled and said, “Morning, Mom. Would you like some breakfast?”
My heart fluttered. She called me Mom. She did it the day before, but this time seemed different somehow. I cleared the emotion from my throat and answered, “Yes, breakfast would be lovely.”
Dash joined us for breakfast, but left soon after. I was prepared for a morning filled with tension and awkward silences; however, there was none of that. Ember gave me a tour of her horse farm and then her organic plants project. It was truly impressive what she had done with a space that was once used for nothing but creating misery.
After we circled the rear portion of the property and were back at her house, she said, “I know Dad already told you how we found each other and everything that happened afterward, but what happened to you? I remember you from when I was little. You were there one morning and gone that afternoon. I tried to ask about you, but I was told to never say your name.”
Her words brought tears to my eyes. She remembered me and she asked about me. That meant she missed me. I inhaled deeply before I answered. “The day I disappeared was the day I finally escaped from Octavius. If I had known you were mine, I would have taken you with me, but at the time, I believed you were at the daycare while your parents worked on the farm. They even told me your name was Amber, not Ember.”
“I know you didn’t intentionally leave me behind. Please believe me when I tell you that I do not harbor one negative thought or feeling about you. None of this was anyone’s fault except Octavius’s. He destroyed our family; no one else is to blame,” she said vehemently.
But she didn’t know that I did take one of my kids with me. I needed to tell her and get it over with. The longer I kept it from her, the harder it would be for her to accept it. “I have to tell you something.”
“Nivan’s my brother, isn’t he?” she asked.
My eyes widened in shock. How did she know about him? What did she know about him? “Yes, he is. He goes by Nathan now, though.”
“What?” she shrieked. “He’s alive?”
I was taken aback by her reaction. “Yes, he’s alive. He’s been with me in California the whole time. Phoenix didn’t tell you about him?”
She slowly shook her head. “No, but I haven’t really had a chance to talk to him since he got back. The last I heard was what Octavius’s right-hand man, Hector, told us. Octavius did a very good job of hiding the truth about Nivan. I thought that he was alive and living on the farm, but then Hector said that Nivan died when he was five years old and there was documentation to prove it, though, to my knowledge, it was never found. No one ever said different, so I assumed he really was dead.”
“I see. Well, when I disappeared years ago, I took Nathan with me. A friend helped me fake an accident and then some people at the hospital helped us get away. He had just turned five years old at the time.”
Suddenly, I felt compelled to defend Nathan. “He’s nothing like Octavius. He doesn’t even know about him. He thinks his father was a Marine who died while deployed. He’s a good person. He’s the only reason I didn’t give up years ago.”
She smiled. “I would like to meet him.”
“I would like that, too, but I need to tell him about you first. Actually, I need to tell him everything. He doesn’t even know I’m here in Croftridge,” I explained.
“I understand. I have no intention of disrupting his life or anything like that. I just wanted you to know I want to meet him, whenever you think the time is right.”
We spent the rest of the morning talking and getting to know one another. The time went by faster than I expected. I honestly didn’t want to leave, but I also wanted to spend a similar afternoon with my son.
“How long are you going to be in Croftridge?” she asked.
“I’m not sure. My boss said I could take as much time as I needed off work, but I don’t want to abuse that offer. Nathan will be home from his training camp in a few weeks, so I will definitely have to be home by then,” I answered. Since I wasn’t sure how things would play out, I hadn’t given much thought to how long I would stay.
Her face fell. “Will you come back here?”
“To visit or to live?”
“Either.”
“I will definitely come back to visit, as often as I can. As far as living here...I’ve built a life for myself in California. I can’t just up and leave. But, you’re welcome to come visit me whenever you want and stay as long as you like,” I said, trying to lift her spirits.
She spoke quietly when she said, “Dash and I have been waiting for Dad to find you or find out what happened to you to get married because I wanted you to be there if you were alive. Do you think you can be here for the wedding?”
“There’s no way I would miss it. When do you think it will be?” I asked.
“We would like for it to be sooner rather than later. I think I can pull everything together in two or three weeks. Could you stay in Croftridge that long?” she asked.
“Let me check with my boss and see if I can take that much time off. If he doesn’t have a problem with it, then I’ll stay until the wedding.”
She embraced me with a tight hug. “Thank you! I can’t wait to tell Dash!”
Ding-dong.
“Oh, that must be Coal. I’ll be right back.”
She returned with her twin. “Since Coal either stays at the Martins’ house or the clubhouse, I thought it would be easier for you two to talk and get to know one another without an audience so I offered the use of my house. Dash will be gone for the rest of the day and I have to get to the barn to finish ordering supplies and making out next week’s schedule.”
With that, she skipped out the door leaving me and Coal alone. He took a seat in the chair but remained silent.
After several moments of uncomfortable silence, I asked, “Do you, um, do you remember me?”
“Yeah,” he answered.
“I didn’t know about you,” I blurted. “I know that sounds crazy, but I was never allowed to see my ultrasounds and the doctor never talked to me about my pregnancy. It never even occurred to me that I might be pregnant with twins.”
He nodded. “I know that.”
I waited for him to say more, but he didn’t. The ease I had with Ember seemed to have walked out the door with her. “We don’t have to do this today. You don’t seem very interested in being here.” He was not the compassionate and understanding young man from the day before.
He blinked and sat up straighter. “I’m sorry. My wounds are bothering me and I’m waiting on the medicine to kick in. I guess I overdid it yesterday. It helps to be still and not talk until the pain eases off.”
“Oh! You shouldn’t have come if you’re in pain. We could have done this another day or even later today. What can I do to help you?” I asked. I had unknowingly left my seat and was hovering beside him, well, like a mom.
He grimaced. “Will you hand me one of those pillows?”
I quickly grabbed a throw pillow and handed it to him. He braced it across his abdomen and said, “Let’s watch something on television for a bit. I should be fine in about 30 minutes.”
We watched some show about cars for the next hour. When it ended, he turned the television off with the remote and said, “Sorry about that. I’m feeling much better now. What would you like to do for the rest of the afternoon?”
I had no idea what my options were. I just wanted to spend time with him, but I didn’t want him doing anything that would cause him pain, so I told him just that. We opted to stay at Ember’s house and talk, which allowed me the opportunity to fuss over him and take care of him.
We spent the afternoon talking, much like Ember and I had. I told him about escaping from Octavius and then I told him about Nathan. He was also interested in meeting his half-brother, particularly once I told him about Nathan’s budding MMA career.
He told me about his life growing up on the farm with Kathleen and Jeff. Kathleen was a kind and genuine woman. If I had to choose someone other than myself or Phoenix to raise our children, it would be her. If only Ember could have been adopted by them, too.
Coal told me the story of the shooting from his point of view and his version was much more harrowing than the version Phoenix told me. I cried all over his shoulder while he hugged me and repeatedly assured me he was okay.
Then, he said something that had been flitting around in the back of my mind since Phoenix showed up in California. “Mom, I believe everything happens for a reason. I mean, getting shot sucked, but if it hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t know about my biological family, at least not at this point anyway. Ember and I have talked about this a lot over the last few weeks and she feels the same way about the events of her life.”
“Yeah, I feel the same way about certain aspects of my life as well,” I said, unwilling to specifically reference Nathan.
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