“Here she is, Marla,” Malcolm says as he walks onto the balcony.
“Oh! She’s so cute! She’s grown so much since I last saw her! What was it? Three days ago? Look at her red hair!” Marla claps her hands together and then stretches her arms out. “I want one of my own!”
“She may be cranky since she just woke up,” Malcolm says as he walks over to the table. Malcolm is that type of parent who doesn’t want you to think his child is bad for no reason.
“I don’t mind. No I don’t…do I?” Marla says in a sing-songy voice. I look at Danielle and she’s cupping her glass of wine in her hands, a little smirk on her face, a wistful look in her eyes as she gazes off into the night. Oh Jon, how I miss thee. She’s so full of it. Rena smiles behind her wine glass as Malcolm hands Sunny to Marla, a smirk on his face now. I notice his head slightly nodding ; he’s picked up Danielle’s message loud and clear. Jon was a wonderful lover. Danielle lets out a soft sigh into the night. Malcolm smiles wider, gives out a little laugh and then turns to leave.
“So D…” Marla says, turning to Danielle with the baby in her arms.
“D?” Rena says.
“Tell us your Best Sex Ever story.”
“Actually, I think my Best Sex Ever story will need to be told tomorrow morning,” Danielle says. She winks at us and then takes a sip of her wine.
And so it continues. The girl talk. The Best Sex Ever stories…Rena’s story lasts about a half hour. Marla hints that she’s praying for me. (I think about you every night before bed, Jasmine.) Well, at least I hope that’s what she’s hinting. And for now, thank goodness, the focus is off of me and Marlon and Jacob. Because honestly, I don’t ever—and I mean ever—want to think about that topic again. I’ll take Marlon to court, get what I’m due after years of raising our kids for free, split custody of the girls and be on my merry little way. You know why? It’s Danielle’s fault. Something she told me years ago, something Lola said to her that I’ll never be forget.
Jon and Danielle were on the brink of divorce and Danielle was trying to blame herself for everything. And you know what Lola said? When you love someone, people will have to pry you away from that person. Counseling, intervention… people who are relentless in their pursuit of another need professional help. Because people in love are relentless; when someone wants you, they want you. If love is this powerful, this forceful, then he doesn’t love you if he can walk away from you. And if he doesn’t love you? Let. His. Ass. Go.
JON
“Well , I wasn’t expecting this,” Danny says as she stands in her doorway. “To what do I owe this pleasure?” She crosses her arms and leans against the doorframe.
“I came here to see Marla,” I say to her as I roll my eyes at her. I was expecting Blair to come to the door, not Danny. I got a call about thirty minutes ago that Marla was on Danny’s balcony with Rena and Jasmine. I waited about twenty minutes before I headed up here, debating whether or not I wanted to deal with Malcolm’s ass. I went ahead and figured it was worth it. I haven’t spoken to Marla in two months.
I miss her.
“Tell me, Jon, why haven’t you called Marla in eight weeks?”
“And say what?”
“Sorry, maybe? I don’t know. Perhaps something along the lines of ‘I’m sorry for not telling you about my vasectomy while you ran around for three years hiring voodoo doctors and drinking dandelion juice.’”
“Listen, I got that vasectomy when you and I were married. Marla had no right to be mad at that.”
“She wasn’t mad at that!”
“Lower your voice.”
“Why? Afraid someone might call the cops on us?” She raises an eyebrow.
You know what, I’m not even going there with Danny tonight. I’ve been living in relative peace without seeing her or her husband and my life has never been better. After she found her way into my condo and we had that argument about Nicky, I decided the next morning that avoiding Danny, pretending she doesn’t even exist, is the best thing for me. I’ve been focusing for far too long on my past story. I’ve been wondering far too long how things could have been different. The fact is, they aren’t. I remembered the times when I was married to Danny that I could barely stomach her. Times I forget about when I see her smiling with her new husband and new kids. The truth is that I’ve been wanting that for us. Maybe not the kids, but the happiness they seem to have. But Danny and I were never and could never be that happy.
She was impossible to live with.
“Listen, I didn’t come here to get into an argument. I came here to talk to Marla.”
“How did you know she was here?”
“I have my ways.” She rolls her eyes before turning around and leaving the doorway. I’m left there alone, rehearsing the lines I’ve decided to say to Marla. Within seconds Marla appears in the doorway. New dress. New Hair. “Wow,” I say without thinking.
“Hello,” she says as she avoids my eyes and crosses her arms at her chest. Damn. She looks good. Actually, she looks like she could hang with Danny, Rena and Jasmine. She has that—what do you call it—society look to her now.
“You look different.”
“I feel different.” She lets out a light sigh.
“Where have you been staying?”
“None of your business.”
“How have you been getting money?”
“I work now, Jon,” she snaps at me.
“Where?”
“At a museum, for your information.”
“Okay…” We stand in silence for a few moments. “Nicky tells me that you still take him to soccer practice sometimes.”
“Yes, twice a week. I’ve arranged to come in early and leave early on Mondays and Wednesdays.”
“That’s, uh, nice of you.”
“Mm-hmm.” Silence.
Alright, let me just say the speech I’ve prepared.
“Listen Marla, I first want to say that I apologize for not telling you about the vasectomy. I got it when I was stuck in a miserable marriage to a miserable person.”
“Don’t talk about my friend.” She gives me a warning look. “It’s because of Dan that I have a place to live and a place to work. So you need to watch your mouth.”
O…kay…
“Anyway, I didn’t tell you because I guess I was nervous.”
“Nervous?” She looks at me confused. “Jon St. James doesn’t get nervous.” She sounds like she’s being sarcastic.
“I get nervous when I can’t give the woman that I love what she wants.” And that gets her. Her arms slide from her chest, her faces loses that smart-ass look and now she’s looking right into my eyes. “And I figured, why call? Because, no matter what, I can’t give you what you want. Some other man can, but I can’t.”
“If you would have told me, I would’ve understood,” she says, her voice soft.
“You wouldn’t have.” I know Marla. She wouldn’t have left me after hearing of my vasectomy but she damn sure wouldn’t have been accepting of it. “Now, about wanting custody of Nicky… First, let me say that I’ve dropped the issue, but this is the thing: Nicky, Danny and I, no matter who else she marries, who I date or how many other kids we both have, will always be a family of three. The three of us are for life. We’ll have issues, arguments, whatever. But that’s between us. We’re a closed family; there will never be another member. What happens between the three of us is between the three of us. So, while I know you and Danny are friends and you were mad that I didn’t tell you about wanting custody of Nicky , that was a family matter. I’m not trying to—what’s the word—hurt your feelings. But it’s how it is.” She looks away and bites the inside of her cheek. “Just like if you and I had our own kid, that would be our family and no one, not even Nicky would have a say.”
She leans against the doorframe and crosses her arm. “Well. I guess I don’t know what to say.”
I run my hand over my face. I’m about to get to the point of the matter. I came here to patch th
ings up. I came here to offer Marla another alternative for being happy with me. “I need to go to LA. tomorrow .”
“Something wrong with the family?” She looks concerned in a way that Danny never was about the members of my family. I like that. I reach out and tug on a lock of her hair.
“You really look nice.”
“Thank you,” she whispers.
“Seth had his baby.”
“Oh, did he?” She smiles. There’s that concern again. I smile back at her.
“He did. And he’s asked me to take him and I’ve decided to do it.”
“Oh my God!” She puts a hand over her mouth.
“My mother and father are coming to Boston for a while. They’ll be moving into the condo until Marlon and I can find them a house of their own.”
“Your father is coming?” She lets out a laugh.
“Yeah, my parents consider themselves an item again.”
“Oh my God!” She laughs again.
“I know. But even through they’ll be here, I’m the one adopting the boy.”
“The baby.”
“Well, the baby. They say that he can live with them in their house but I’ve got to keep a room in the condo for him, for when the adoption agency comes to check on him.”
“Oh, wow…”
“Yeah. But I was just thinking, you know, I know you have your job and your new life,” I look her dress over, “but, you know, the baby will need someone younger in his life. My mom and pops are pushing sixty.”
“Well, of course! It’ll need, you know, younger people in its life.”
“Yeah, it will.” We stand in silence for a moment, looking at each other. Come on, Marla. Say you’ll help me out here.
“A baby, Jon?” She tries to stop a smile from coming.
“I know.” I smile at her. “But I had to help my little brother out.”
She smiles and shakes her head. “When was he born?”
“Yesterday.”
She smiles again. “What’s his name?”
“I haven’t named him yet.”
Her eyes widen. “You’re naming him?”
“He’s mine, right?”
She looks at me for a moment with her mouth halfway open. “I guess so.” A silent few seconds pass between us as she takes in what I’ve said.
“You know,” she says. “I’ve always liked Alexandre. With the ‘r’ before the ‘e’. Alexandre St. James. Sounds like a prince. Just like Nicholai St. James does.”
“Alex and Nicky.” I nod in approval. Yeah, I like that.
“Yeah.” She smiles at me. “Alex and Nicky.”
“Then Alex it is.” We share a silent moment before she crosses her arms again and looks down at the floor. “I’m going to get Alex tomorrow. I’ll be back on Saturday. Because you know Nicky has that Easter play on Sunday.”
“Of course. I’ll be there. I actually just finished talking about Nicky at work. My boss goes to Dan’s church so…” She takes a deep breath and looks away. I reach behind me and slide a booklet out from behind the waist of my jeans. She sees it. I hold it out for her to take it. “A plane ticket for you.” Please say you’ll come with me. She stares at the ticket for a moment before taking it out of my hand. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, Marla.” She looks away and swallows hard then takes a deep breath.
“Well, I have to check with my boss, Mr. Lexington, but I’m sure he’ll let me take off for a few days. I haven’t been late or called in sick once since I started. I have his private line; I can call him early tomorrow morning.”
“Lexington?”
“Yeah.”
“You work at a museum, you said?”
“Yeah.” She looks up at me. “You know him?”
“Bryan?”
“Yep, that’s him.”
“I play ball with him at the gym on Saturdays. Bryan Lexington. His family owns that museum downtown. My firm installed their database operating system last year.”
“Yep, that’s my boss.”
“Oh, okay. Yeah, Bryan’s a good guy. I’m sure he’ll let you off. We can go to Napa Valley, rent a home out on a vineyard or something. You like wine, right? That’s what you and Danny drink?”
“Yes, I love wine now.” She looks around the hallway with a self-important look.
“Then we can make a spring break of it.” I’m reaching here.
“Well, I’ll ask Mr. Lexington and then I’ll get back to you.”
Another silence moment passes between us. Damn, what should I say?
“Do you want to meet for lunch tomorrow? Your pick.” She smiles.
“Sure.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
And we both grin at each other like kids.
“Well, I should get back in there,” she says as she points behind her. “We were having girl talk.”
“No problem.”
“Let’s say, umm…Atlantic Fish Co. at twelve-thirty.”
“I’ll be there,” I tell her.
“Okay.” She looks up at me through her lashes—real lashes—and then back into Danielle’s condo.
“You look…nice, Marla.”
“Thank you,” she says softly, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear.
“See you tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow.”
JACOB
I’ve never been this sick before.
“Ah, yes, you look like shit,” Cadence says as he walks into his bathroom. I’m in his condo, my home away from home, leaning over his toilet. I raise my head just far enough out of the toilet bowl to look at him. Vomiting feels like both a relief and an exhaustion. He comes and sits on the edge of his bathtub and then looks on the floor at the papers lying around. Bending down he grabs the pharmacy packet that I was reading before I found my head in the bowl. “Good old Lexapro. One of the best ones out there.” He smiles and places the packet back on the floor.
“Did it make you sick?” I manage to get out as my stomach starts to audibly churn.
“Well, not like that,” he points to my stomach. “Lexapro should give you headaches and nausea for the first three or four days. How long have you been taking them?”
“Four weeks.” Damn, I feel another bout of nausea coming on. I lean over the bowl and prepare for the inevitable.
“Would you like for me to hold your hair back?”
“Fuck you.” And here it comes. Cadence waits patiently for me to empty all I have left in my stomach, as he begins to whistle. God, I can’t do this for much longer. I can’t throw up again.
“So,” he says, seeing that I’ve taken a break, “I’m thinking that this isn’t the meds doing this. Likely your stomach turning has something to do with Winnie telling you off earlier at Aunt Pammy’s home. You’re just having a bout with nerves.”
“What the hell is wrong with me?” I choke out. Shit…I’m about to throw up again.
“Well, let’s see. I’d love to diagnose you.”
“I’m sure.”
“Why did Winnie nail into you?”
“No idea.” I take a seat by the bowl, my stomach weak to the touch. “She came in, I pulled her to the side, I gave her my house key, I told her that I was moving into another condo, I let her know that she and the kids could come back home, I told her I was sorry for not thinking of it before-”
“I think I’m ready to diagnose you.” He crosses his legs and links his fingers together.
“What? What did I do?”
“Were you aware that Winnie came to DC to have dinner with Lola?”
“Yeah, my father told me.”
“And you never considered why Winnie would do that? She’s never made an out-of-the-way trip to see Lola, so you never wondered why she decided to do it this weekend?”
“What’s the big deal? So she went to see Lola.”
“I swear, you and Malcolm are a couple of the densest people that I know.” He shakes his head at me. “Completely clueless when it comes to
women.”
“What am I missing?”
“Jacob, Winnie came to DC to talk to Lola because she obviously wanted to talk to someone who has been in the position that she currently finds herself in: staying married to a man who has cheated on her.”
Damn. He’s right. I sink back until my back thumps against the wall. “Shit…”
“Yep.”
Winnie came to dinner tonight to tell me she was coming back to me.
“I gotta go up there.” I jump to my feet and immediately regret the decision. My stomach turns and my eyes water. Shit, not again. I fall back to my knees and hover over the bowl. Once again, I’m not only losing my lunch , but my breakfast and dinner as well.
“Take it easy,” Cadence says with a laugh. “You and I still need to talk before you go up there and fuck it up.” I feel a dry towel hit me in the back of the head. Reaching on the floor to grab it, I run it over my mouth and sit down by the bowl again.
“I need to talk to her,” I whisper. My head hurts too much to even speak at a normal volume.
“I want to talk to you about Jasmine first. Tell me, what is it about her that you just can’t seem to get enough of?”
“I had it all wrong,” I say as I slump against the wall and close my eyes. “You have no idea how wrong I had it. I don’t know why but she and I…what I remember of us…how I felt about us…I don’t know, shit…was it what I thought? Did I have it right? I mean, Jasmine and I were tight. We were together. We were good. She was good…I thought. What I remember of us was…good.”
War. Page 26
