Connor’s eyes grew heavy as his lips fell to Zane’s and that was enough to break Zane out of the spell he was in. He forced his wayward body to step back far enough that Connor’s scorching touch finally disappeared, and the move seemed to snap Connor out of his daze and he snatched up the roll of cash Zane had left on the bar.
“I don’t want this,” Connor said as he held the money out.
“From what your friend tells me, it’s more about needing than wanting.”
Disappointment flared in Connor’s eyes for a moment but then he shoved the money at Zane, who managed to grab it before it hit the floor.
“Take it and go,” Connor snapped. “I’ll deal with Jagger.”
“Look, I don’t claim to be the nicest of guys but I’m not into taking money from cripp-” Zane never even finished the word because Connor grabbed him by the throat and shoved him back against the bar.
“Don’t ever use that word around me again!” Connor snarled.
The outburst was so unexpected for someone he’d pegged as meek and quiet that Zane couldn’t even find the words to respond at first. Or tell his cock to settle the fuck down.
“Thousands of men and women sacrificed their bodies and their lives so you could live your high and mighty life and you will not” – Connor’s grip tightened on him – “refer to anyone, myself included, that way again, do you hear me?”
Zane nodded. It had been a shitty thing to say, even if his intent had only been to rile Connor up.
Connor released him. “Get the fuck out.” He dropped his arm and began walking away.
“So you’re really going to pick your pride over your physical well-being?” Zane asked. He wasn’t surprised when Connor stopped but didn’t turn around and Zane slowly closed the distance between them. “Even now it’s bothering you, isn’t it?” Zane said quietly as his eyes fell to Connor’s left leg. “You’re trying not to put too much weight on it.”
Zane walked around Connor until he was facing him and held out the money. “Take the money, Connor.”
“No,” Connor responded firmly. His eyes refused to meet Zane’s and Zane felt a moment of unreasonable frustration that the other man wouldn’t even look at him.
Fuck this. Zane shoved the money into his pocket and started heading for the door but then stopped. He didn’t give a shit about this guy or his friends. Let that big fucker Varos come after him. Maybe a good fight was what he needed to get him out of the funk he’d been in. So why the hell couldn’t he walk away?
“Damn it,” he muttered under his breath. Then in a louder voice he said, “You were right. I did it for Declan.”
***
Connor had been just about to enter the back room where his boss kept a small desk and a couple of lockers when he heard the surprising admission. He forced himself to turn around and saw that Zane hadn’t quite made it to the door. His back was ramrod straight and his hands were tucked into his jacket. He wondered briefly why the guy was even wearing a jacket considering the mild weather but he figured maybe it was all part of his look or something. The look that said he made an outrageous amount of money and wasn’t afraid to let people know it.
“Why?” Connor asked. “Are you in love with him?” The question was completely inappropriate and none of his business but he couldn’t help the curiosity that surged through him.
But the harsh, cynical laughter that erupted from Zane’s lips had him suspecting the answer. Maybe if the laugh had sounded fake or forced…
“Friends then,” Connor offered. He was glad when Zane finally turned around but he wasn’t sure why. Connor slowly made his way back to the bar and sat on one of the bar stools so he could take the pressure off his leg.
“Friends,” Zane repeated as if testing the word. But then he shook his head. “No, not friends...”
“So you just go around doing favors for every guy you used to fuck?”
Zane’s brow creased and Connor couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like to soothe away the tension that seemed to consume the other man. It was as if Zane hadn’t even considered whatever it was that he and Declan had had between them until this very moment.
“How did you lose the leg?” Zane asked suddenly.
“IED,” Connor answered without hesitation. “Why not just give the money to Jagger? Why bring it here yourself?”
Zane approached him slowly and Connor couldn’t help the shudder that went through him.
“I don’t believe in letting others fix my problems.”
Zane was so close again that Connor could smell the musky scent of man mixed with the slightest hint of cologne, maybe aftershave. He could see the pulse thrumming in Zane’s neck and he wondered what it would feel like beneath his lips. “So that’s what I am? A problem?” Since he was sitting, he had to tip his head back just a little to keep eye contact with Zane.
“Yeah,” Zane whispered and Connor froze up when he lowered his head. But those firm, supple lips bypassed his mouth and grazed his cheek before settling next to his ear. “You’re a big fucking problem.”
***
Zane couldn’t stop himself from letting his lips skim over Connor’s cheek once more as he pulled back. His whole body was humming with need as his eyes dropped to Connor’s slightly parted lips and it took everything in him not to take what Connor was clearly offering.
“Take the money, Connor,” Zane said softly. He was surprised to find that he actually wanted Connor to say yes and not just to get Jagger off his back. Connor studied him for so long that Zane actually felt a knot of anxiety in his gut…it was like they guy was trying to see through him.
“I will if you tell me the truth,” Connor finally said. Their lips were still just inches apart but Connor’s gaze never left his.
“Truth about what?” Zane asked hesitantly. God, he hated how off balance this man made him feel.
“What was between you and Declan?”
Zane straightened to his full height since being so close to Connor’s waiting mouth was messing with his head. “What is your obsession with me and Declan?” he muttered.
“Answer the question and we’re done here.”
Zane took several steps back and ran a hand through his hair. “He was a good fuck,” he bit out.
“That’s it?”
No.
“Yes.”
“Liar,” Connor whispered.
“Why do you care?” Zane said as he began to pace. “Do you have a thing for him or something?” Connor’s patient look frustrated Zane even more than the fact that he didn’t respond to the question. “Fine,” he barked. “He’s a good guy and even though I didn’t want more than what we had, I didn’t like seeing him in so much pain, either.”
Zane felt itchy and restless as he watched Connor stand. The man tried to hide his pain with every step that brought him closer to Zane. When Connor finally came to a stop in front of him and held out his hand expectantly, Zane reached into his pocket and searched out the roll of money. He dropped it into Connor’s waiting hand.
“Thank you,” Connor said softly and Zane felt it all the way down in his bones. The gratitude was genuine.
When Connor made a move to step back, Zane gently curled his fingers around Connor’s wrist and held him in place. “Is it enough?”
Connor seemed confused by the question. That or he was turned on because Zane didn’t miss the fact that Connor’s pulse was increasing even now as Zane held him. God, if such a simple touch did this to Connor, what would he be like in bed?
“Do you have enough money to buy a new prosthesis?” Zane asked.
He was surprised when Connor didn’t try to pull away. He was even more surprised when Connor readily answered him. “Not quite.”
It was on the tip of Zane’s tongue to offer to give him the rest but his common sense kicked in. Connor may have had some vulnerable moments like in the storeroom that day, but he wasn’t vulnerable. He wasn’t weak. And he sure as hell had more than his fair share of
pride considering all the hoops Zane had had to jump through just to give him something that was rightfully his.
“Come on, I’ll walk you to your car. That much money in your pocket, can’t be too careful,” Zane said as he released Connor’s arm.
“No, it’s okay. I still have to lock up,” Connor murmured. Zane had questioned enough witnesses to know when one was hedging and Connor wasn’t a consummate liar to begin with.
“No problem, I insist.”
Connor tucked the money into his pocket. “I take the bus.”
There was still something Connor wasn’t saying but Zane let it go because, quite simply, it wasn’t any of his business. “I’ll give you a lift home.”
“Zane-”
Shit, there was his name on Connor’s lips again.
“You’re a smart guy, Connor. You’re obviously in pain and on top of that, you’re carrying around a shitload of cash. Do the math and then tell yourself what the best course of action is.”
Connor studied him for a moment and then smiled that sweet, endearing smile that did crazy things to Zane’s insides. “Still think you have a problem to fix, huh?”
A flash of something equally hot and dark went through Zane and he couldn’t help but step forward until he was once again in Connor’s space. “The only problem I have right now is reminding myself why it would be a bad idea to lean you over that bar of yours and fuck you so hard and so well that the only thing you’ll feel is that perfect ass of yours crying out for me to do it all over again.”
Chapter 2
Connor wasn’t surprised to see Declan Hale trotting quickly down the stairs within seconds of the desk sergeant letting the detective know Connor was there.
“Everything okay, Connor?” Declan asked as he hurried over to where Connor was sitting in one of the chairs near the precinct’s main entrance. He couldn’t blame the guy for automatically assuming the worst since the last time they’d seen each other hadn’t been Connor’s finest moment.
“Yeah, I’m good,” Connor quickly reassured him. He smiled at the relief that flooded Declan’s face.
“What’s going on?” Declan asked in confusion.
“Do you have a second to talk?” Connor asked as he rose to his feet. His leg hurt like a son of a bitch but he was more nervous about the awkward conversation he was about to force upon his best friend’s lover. If the stakes weren’t so high, he would have scrapped the whole plan long before he’d even entered the building.
“Sure, let’s go upstairs to my desk,” Declan said. “Is Sutter bothering you again?” he quickly asked, his voice heavy with anger. God, Jagger really was one lucky son of a bitch.
“Um, it’s actually kind of personal. Do you mind if we talk outside?” he asked.
Declan looked surprised but he quickly nodded. “Sure. There’s a coffee shop next door.”
It took only a few minutes to get to the small and luckily quiet coffee shop and he waved Declan off when he tried to pay for their coffee. Connor’s agitation had him fidgeting as they waited for their order and once they were seated he found it difficult to get the words out. But Declan just waited him out and Connor couldn’t help but think how different Jagger and Declan were. Declan was cool and quiet whereas Jagger was blunt and hot-tempered. Two complete opposites who had somehow made it work.
“How’s Ren?” Connor asked, though he knew part of him was just stalling.
“He’s good,” Declan said as his eyes lit up with pleasure at the mention of his and Jagger’s lover. “Indiana was tough but he’s glad to have it behind him.”
Connor nodded. Ren was someone he’d also only met on a few occasions though he and the former soldier had a lot in common since they were both still struggling with the aftereffects of a war that had left each of them with wounds that would likely never fully heal. But Connor considered himself lucky since Ren had spent more than a year being tortured by the terrorists that had held him hostage after ambushing and killing his unit. Connor had seen Ren’s severe PTSD first hand and knew it was something the other man would struggle with for the rest of his life. From the little that Jagger had told him, their recent trip to Indiana had been about delivering one of Ren’s comrade’s final message to his loved ones.
Connor took a sip of his coffee as he tried to figure out how to approach the delicate subject. It didn’t matter how many times he’d rehearsed it in his head, it was still awkward.
“Declan, I would never want to put you in a position where you had to lie to Jagger,” he began and he saw Declan tense up at the words. “So I’m just going to ask you one question and hope that you’ll respect my need not to go into any details.”
“Okay,” Declan said warily.
Fuck, he just needed to get this out. “I know you and Zane had something going on before you got together with Jagger and Ren.” Declan straightened in his seat and looked uncomfortable but he remained quiet. “I just need to know if you trust him.”
“Zane?” Declan asked.
Connor nodded. He could feel his skin heating up as Declan began to register what he was asking and he had no doubt that the sharp cop was already working towards the obvious conclusion. He could already see the argument forming as Declan opened his mouth and a rush of unexpected desperation went through Connor.
“Please, Declan…please just answer the question. I need this,” he whispered. He didn’t realize he’d dropped his eyes until a big hand closed over the fingers he had clenched around the coffee cup.
“Connor, look at me,” Declan said softly. Connor forced himself to lift his eyes as the shame went through him but he was surprised when he saw understanding instead of judgement. “I trust him.”
When Declan didn’t say anything else, Connor nodded. “Please don’t tell Jagger. He won’t understand,” Connor said quietly.
“I won’t,” Declan responded. Declan patted his hand gently before removing it and Connor quickly stood.
“Thank you,” he said as he turned to go. But when Declan called his name, Connor steadied himself for the lecture he knew was coming.
“I’m here if you ever need to talk,” was all Declan said and Connor cast him a quick glance over his shoulder. The offer was unexpected but he could tell it was sincere. He jerked his head in a quick nod and then left the coffee shop.
***
Zane was on edge as he exited the elevator and he half expected Jagger to be waiting for him again with more threats to kick his ass. After all, the last thing he’d said to Connor last night hadn’t exactly been the most sensitive or appropriate and it wouldn’t have surprised him if Connor’s watchdog came after him for the crude words. But then again, Connor hadn’t exactly looked offended by what he’d said. In fact, Zane hadn’t been able to decipher any reaction at all since he’d been too busy picturing the image of the scenario he’d described. It had been sheer will that had had him drawing back so Connor could finish locking up the bar and they hadn’t exchanged a single word as he’d driven Connor to his apartment other than Connor telling him where to turn.
It hadn’t come as much of a surprise that Connor lived in a crappy part of town or that his place looked like a dump from the outside. The run down house had clearly been converted into multiple units and Connor’s was on the bottom. It had been too dark to see the condition of the building but what he had seen had been disturbing…and all too familiar.
Zane dug around his pocket until he found his keys but came to a halt when he saw the object of his thoughts leaning against his car. An instant surge of lust shot through him followed by a wave of annoyance. He’d spent the better part of last night and today trying to get his attraction to this man out of his head and here he was again. He let his eyes trail up and down Connor’s long body and he felt his cock swell even more.
“I’m really going to need to talk to security about people getting into this garage,” Zane muttered as he unlocked his car. “Did I get the amount wrong?” he asked as he stepped past Connor and toss
ed his bag into the back seat.
“Did you mean what you said last night?” Connor asked.
“I said a lot of things last night,” Zane said as he reached past Connor who was leaning against the driver’s side door. But Connor didn’t move when Zane lifted the door handle.
“Can you make it so that I’d want you to do it to me over and over?”
Zane stilled and then lifted his eyes to meet Connor’s. He knew exactly what the man was referring to. “Yes,” he said simply.
Connor studied him for a moment. “Where and when?”
Zane let his eyes slowly travel up and down the length of Connor’s body. He didn’t miss the outline of Connor’s erection pressing against his jeans. At his perusal, Connor’s breathing increased and Zane nearly shook his head at the intensity of the chemistry between them.
“I don’t think so,” Zane finally said.
Connor’s eyes flashed with disappointment and then something else. “Is it the leg?” he finally asked.
“I don’t give a shit about the leg,” Zane murmured as his traitorous body shifted so that there were mere millimeters separating his and Connor’s bodies.
“Is it because of what happened in the storeroom with Jason?” Zane bit back a groan as Connor straightened enough so that their bodies touched.
“It’s because you’ll want it to be more than it is.”
“More than fucking, you mean?” Connor whispered.
Zane nodded. “Tell me you’re not the kind of guy who wants dates and handholding and pretty words.”
“So you’ve got me all figured out, huh?” Connor responded.
“That doesn’t sound like a denial to me.” The rest of his argument died in this throat when a hand suddenly stroked over his cock through his slacks.
“Do you want to know what I did last night when I got home?” Connor asked softly as his hand squeezed Zane. “I pretended my kitchen counter was the bar and I leaned against it.”
Zane’s whole body lit up as Connor suddenly leaned forward and ran his tongue along Zane’s throat. His warm breath skittered over Zane’s skin as he spoke and his hand began rubbing back and forth over Zane’s shaft.
Freeing Zane (Barretti Security Series, Book 4) Page 2
