Freeing Zane (Barretti Security Series, Book 4)

by Sloane Kennedy

  ***

  Connor twisted away from Zane as he yanked up his pants. His whole body felt like it was drugged and he was reminded of the early days in the hospital when he’d woken up in a euphoric stupor and had been told that his leg was gone. And like then, his brain was still trying to process what had occurred. He managed to stumble to the end of the bed and gratefully sank down onto the stiff mattress. Less than a minute passed before a warm washcloth was pressed into his hand. He was still too rattled to understand what he was supposed to do with it but the second Zane began using it to wipe the come off his chest, Connor snatched it from him so he could do the job himself. The last thing he wanted at this point was for Zane to touch him again.

  “Why?” he muttered.

  Even with his head down, Connor could tell Zane was standing in front of him because expensive looking shoes were in his direct line of sight.

  “It was too good,” came the quiet reply.

  Rage went through Connor and he grabbed Zane by the arms as he stood and slammed him back against the wall Zane had just fucked him against.

  “You are such a fucking asshole,” he snapped.

  “I’m not lying,” Zane said. He didn’t struggle against Connor in any way. “That first time…it was like you were completely mine in that moment. I’ve never had someone trust me like that…I wanted you again before I’d even pulled free of your body.”

  “So that’s how you treat someone you want? Like they’re no better than something you scraped off the bottom of your shoe? You left me there without so much as a goodbye and then you took the coward’s way out and blew me off with a fucking text.”

  “I didn’t want you to think it was more.”

  Connor shook his head in disbelief as he shoved away from Zane. “Well, you got your wish,” he snapped as he grabbed his shirt and hoodie off the floor. His phone chose that moment to ring and he realized that somewhere in the tussle it had fallen from his pocket. Zane grabbed it before he could reach it but he gave the screen only a passing glance.

  “So that’s it?” Zane said quietly. Connor didn’t respond. He just held out his hand for the phone which had stopped ringing. He heard the ding that notified him he had a voicemail but within seconds the phone started ringing again.

  “That’s it,” Connor said quickly as Zane ignored his outstretched hand and looked at the phone again. Connor blew out a frustrated sigh as he tugged on his shirt and then tried to turn his hoodie so that it wasn’t inside out anymore. Another ding and then his phone started ringing for a third time.

  “Give it to me,” Connor snapped. Zane handed it over but Connor just jammed it into his pocket and headed for the door. But Zane stepped into his path.

  “Aren’t you going to answer it?” Zane asked as the phone continued to ring. “Sounds like an emergency.”

  “Move,” Connor ordered as the phone went quiet. He saw Zane’s eyes narrow when the phone started ringing again but Connor pushed past him and left the room. He could feel eyes boring into his back as he hurried towards the street and he didn’t breathe a sigh of relief until he was around the corner and out of sight of the motel.

  ***

  Zane was glad to see there were only a few patrons in the bar when he entered and his eyes quickly zeroed in on Connor. He was smiling at an older man who was waving his hands in exaggerated motions but the second he looked up and saw Zane, his face fell and the smile disappeared. By the time Zane reached the bar and sat, Connor’s eyes glittered with anger.

  “Bourbon, neat,” he said quietly when Connor finally came to a stop in front of him. Zane steeled himself for whatever infuriated response Connor was going to throw at him. After all, it wasn’t like he didn’t deserve it.

  “What’s that sir, you want to buy the whole bar a round?” Connor said loudly as he kept his eyes on Zane.

  A pathetic cheer went up in the room and the old guy a few stools over quickly swallowed whatever he’d been drinking and yelled Connor’s name and tapped the edge of his glass expectantly.

  “You know, that would be a lot more effective if there were more than” – Zane stopped to glance around the room – “four guys in here,” he murmured as he reached into his wallet and pulled out several bills.

  “Sometimes you have to take what you can get,” Connor responded coolly and Zane had no doubt that a round of drinks wasn’t the only thing Connor was referring to.

  It took only a couple of minutes to get everyone settled with their drinks and then Connor was sliding his bourbon across the bar. “It’s not the good shit you’re probably used to so no need to linger,” Connor said before he turned his back to Zane and began cleaning up.

  “Why’d you show up at the motel today?” Zane asked as he took a sip of his drink. It was no surprise that Connor ignored him. “Did you know you whisper my name over and over when you come?” he said, not bothering to lower his voice. “I thought it was a one-time thing the first time I fucked you but you did it again this morning when I took you up against that wall.”

  His words had the desired effect and Connor turned to glare at him. A quick glance to his right showed the older man had heard every word and his eyes kept shifting back and forth between Connor and Zane as he sucked down his drink.

  Connor placed his hands flat on the bar and said, “Good news gentlemen, our new friend here has offered to buy another round.” His lips curved up into a slight smile. “And he’s going to pay off all of your outstanding tabs.”

  Another round of hoots and hollers surrounded them.

  “What the hell is going on out here?” came a sharp voice.

  Zane tore his eyes from Connor’s to see a huge woman standing in the doorway leading to the back of the bar. Her bright orange-red hair was like a beacon as she glanced around the room as all the men started talking. He heard the name “Mags” used several times and he realized he was looking at the bar’s owner…or at least the person it was named after.

  “I assume you take credit cards,” Zane said as turned back to face Connor while reaching for his wallet.

  “Mom! Dad!”

  Connor’s scream ripped Zane’s attention from the search for his wallet. He snapped his eyes up in time so see Connor’s eyes go wide with fright.

  “Dad, no!” he shouted again as he shoved off the bar. Zane heard several glasses break as Connor’s back slammed into the rack behind the bar but Connor didn’t seem to notice. His horrified gaze was on some spot on the opposite side of the bar – like he was looking up at something. His hands were clenched against his chest and the veins in his neck bulged as he screamed over and over for his parents.

  “Connor!” Zane yelled. He was about to climb over the bar to get to him but Connor was suddenly on the move. His eyes remained fixed on whatever he believed he was seeing as he hurried to the end of the bar. All the patrons sat in stunned silence as Connor’s screams intensified. Mags was the only other person moving but Zane reached Connor first.

  “Connor!” he shouted as he clamped his hands around Connor’s upper arms.

  “No!” Connor screamed as he fought Zane. “I have to get them out!”

  Before Zane could say anything, Connor’s whole body jerked backwards and an agonized cry tore free from his lips. “Noooooo!”

  Zane shook Connor as hard as he could but it had no effect.

  “Connor, sweetheart, wake up!” he heard Mags shout.

  Connor began crying as his body gave out and Zane managed to get them both to the floor.

  “Connor, baby, look at me,” Zane whispered as he ran his thumb over Connor’s cheek and then closed his hand around the back of his neck to force him to look up at him.

  Tears streamed down Connor’s cheeks. “No, please no,” he moaned.

  Pain tore through Zane at the sound of Connor’s choking sobs and he dragged the other man against his chest. “Please, Connor,” he said again as he dropped a kiss onto Connor’s head. The sound of Mags’ voice registered as she yelled at eve
ryone to get out but he didn’t take his attention off Connor long enough to see if the few men in the bar did what she said. Zane felt the moment Connor came back to himself because the body in his arms relaxed completely before tensing up.

  “It’s okay Connor, you’re safe,” Zane said softly. He allowed Connor to pull back from him enough so their eyes could connect.

  “What…what happened?” Connor asked as he looked around in confusion. His eyes dropped to Zane’s chest and he said, “Why is your shirt wet?” Before Zane could answer him, Connor’s fingers lifted to his own face. He tried to scramble away from Zane when he felt his own tears but Zane refused to release him.

  “Just catch your breath,” Zane urged softly as he rubbed his fingers into the skin of Connor’s upper arms.

  “Sorry,” Connor murmured several minutes later as his breathing evened out. He wiped at his damp face and then tried to stand. Zane helped him to his feet and then Mags was pushing between them and dragging Connor into her arms.

  “You okay, sweetie?” Mags said. Zane was surprised at the soft look that overcame the woman’s harsh features. Her voice shook with emotion.

  “I’m okay,” Connor said as his arms came up to wrap around Mags’ thick frame. “Sorry,” he whispered.

  “What have I told you about that shit?” Mags asked gently.

  “No apologies,” Connor responded.

  “Right. Come sit and I’ll get you some water.”

  Connor followed her obediently to one of the tables. When she disappeared to get the water, Connor’s eyes lifted briefly to meet Zane’s, who saw the shame there. Before he could say anything, Mags was back and shoving a glass of water into Connor’s hand. He drank it all down before Mags said, “Come on, I’ll take you home.”

  “No,” Connor said as he shook his head. “It’s early. I can finish my shift.”

  Mags was already shaking her head before Connor even finished his sentence. “No, you’re coming home with me tonight,” she ordered sternly.

  Connor smiled and reached for her hand. “You can’t keep doing this for me. It’s not so good for business,” he said with a quick smile.

  Mags was about to speak again when Zane said, “I’ll make sure he gets home okay.”

  Two pairs of eyes shot up to meet his – Mags’s confused ones and Connor’s hesitant ones.

  “Who are you?” Mags asked as her eyes narrowed. So Jagger wasn’t Connor’s only bodyguard.

  “A friend,” Connor interjected, reclaiming Mags’ attention. “Tell you what,” he said as he tightened his grip on Mags’ hands. “I’ll agree to go home if you agree not to lock up. Besides, they” – Connor glanced at the front door – “still look thirsty.”

  Zane looked over his shoulder to see several men hovering outside the door. The old guy who’d been sitting at the bar next to him had his face pressed up against the glass and gave Connor a thumbs up. Connor returned the gesture and then turned his attention back to Mags to wait for her answer. When she finally nodded, Zane felt a surge of relief go through him that he wouldn’t have to battle with the big woman to get her to let Connor go. But by the looks of things, Connor wasn’t too happy at the prospect of leaving with him. Well, that was just too fucking bad because he wasn’t letting Connor walk away this time.

  ***

  Connor felt his body grow heavy as Zane’s car pulled away from the curb. He knew they’d be at his apartment within a few minutes but he wasn’t sure he could manage to keep his eyes open that long.

  “It was bad, wasn’t it?” he asked softly as he let his head fall back against the leather head rest. He felt Zane’s eyes on him but he didn’t want to look at him so he kept his gaze focused on the passing scenery. Not that there was much to see but it was still better than the pity Zane would cast on him.

  “Yeah,” was all Zane said.

  He’d guessed as much since only the really messed up episodes left him feeling drained. The last bad one had been in the storeroom when Jason had assaulted him. His only recollection of that event had been him telling Jason he had a restraining order against him after Jason had shoved him back against the shelves where Mags kept the extra inventory. The next thing he’d remembered was the sound of flesh striking flesh and he’d been confused as to why he couldn’t feel the blows. It wasn’t until he’d seen Jason stretched out on the floor next to him, his bloody facing lolling back and forth every time the heavy fist connected with it. After that it had been utter chaos and confusion as paramedics arrived along with a police officer. Ren had stayed by his side the whole time while Zane had stood near the doorway leading to the storeroom, his features drawn tight and his bruised fists hanging loosely at his sides. A trip to the police station had followed and he hadn’t seen Zane again as he’d given his statement and started the process of filing charges against Jason.

  There had been other moments before and after that day but only one other that had left him feeling like he did now. That moment had also involved Jason, but unfortunately there hadn’t been anyone to watch his back that day. Connor forced the dark memory away and asked, “Did I say anything?”

  “You were calling for your parents. You said you had to get them out.”

  Connor let his eyes drift shut as the past assailed him.

  “Will you tell me about it?” he heard Zane ask gently. A tremor of need went through Connor at the softness in Zane’s voice but it had nothing to do with sex. He opened his eyes momentarily and looked longingly down at the hand Zane had resting on the gearshift of the car. What he wouldn’t give to be able to reach out and grab it. But he didn’t have that right…never would.

  “They died in a fire when I was fourteen. It was late…we were all asleep. I remember the smoke detector outside my room going off but the smoke was already so heavy that I started choking within seconds. I made it to the hallway but I lost sense of all direction. My dad found me and got me outside. But when he realized my mom wasn’t behind him like he thought, he told me to stay put and he went back for her. I know it was just a couple minutes but it seemed like hours. I kept calling for them as I watched the front door, expecting to see them walk through it together. The firefighters showed up and I told them my parents were still in the house and then I started running towards it. I was so sure I would be able to get them out. A fireman stopped me – he said it was too dangerous. I was screaming at him to let me go and then suddenly the whole house just exploded.”

  Connor forced himself to take in a deep breath because he suddenly felt lightheaded. “A neighbor told me the whole thing lasted less than three minutes…from the time she saw my father pull me out to the time the house blew. Everything gone in three minutes. Same amount of time it takes to order a cup of coffee or boil an egg.” He fell silent as he tried to gain control of his emotions. It wasn’t often that he dwelled on that one night since there’d been so many better memories of his parents he chose to remember and he was surprised at the level of pain that coursed through him. He knew it was likely just a reaction to the evening’s events but it was unnerving to experience the same level of agony he’d felt that night and in the days that followed.

  It took Connor a second to realize that the car had stopped and that Zane no longer sat next to him. He looked up just in time to see Zane opening the door for him. There was enough light from the streetlamp overhead for Connor to see the outline of where his tears had stained Zane’s crisp blue dress shirt. It was a harsh reminder that this man had seen him at his weakest yet again.

  “Thanks,” he mumbled as he climbed out of the car and made his way to his door. He could see that all the lights were out in Mrs. Finney’s apartment though it was barely eight o’clock. But as much as he liked the old woman, he was feeling too raw to be around anyone. As he searched out his key, he became aware of Zane’s presence at his back. He’s just making sure you get inside okay.

  Connor managed to get the door unlocked and then turned around.

  “Thanks for the ride,” he s
aid.

  “Let me in, Connor,” Zane said softly as he stepped so close that their bodies were nearly touching.

  Connor forced his eyes up. “I’m okay, Zane. Really.”

  “I’m not.”

  The words were spoken so quietly that Connor wasn’t sure he’d even heard them right. His first thought was that Zane wanted another quick fuck but just before he was about to lay into Zane for even bringing it up, Connor caught sight of something he’d never expected to see in Zane’s eyes. Concern. Fear. Anguish.

  For him? That wasn’t possible…was it?

  Connor reached behind him and turned the knob and he stepped back into the apartment. Zane followed him and shut and locked the door behind him. Connor was sure he’d misread what he’d seen when Zane closed the distance between them once more but his words died in his throat when he felt Zane’s arms go around him. He waited a couple more seconds but when Zane just held him, Connor couldn’t stop the harsh sob that slipped from his lips and he reached up to wrap his arms around the other man. Hot tears slipped down his cheeks as he heard his father’s voice in his ear saying he’d be right back. Zane’s arms dragged him flush against his body and Connor gave up the fight and buried his face into his neck.

  Chapter 5

  It wasn’t until Connor’s sobs eased that Zane whispered, “Where’s your room?”

  Connor stiffened in his arms and Zane supposed he deserved it. “I just want to hold you, Connor,” he said softly as he stroked his hand over the back of Connor’s head. Connor was quiet for a moment and Zane had no doubt he was trying to figure out what his motives were. It was a question Zane wouldn’t have been able to answer because he absolutely had no idea. All he knew was that he wasn’t ready to let go of the other man just yet.