No, he really wasn’t but it wasn’t about him. So he just shrugged and kissed Connor again before he hurried from the apartment.
***
“Hey, how did it go?” Connor asked as Zane dropped down on the couch next to him.
Zane just shook his head. He looked completely drained. “How are the kids?”
“Asleep,” Connor said. It was barely six o’clock but both kids had been struggling to keep their eyes open even as Connor showed them their room and where they could get cleaned up. “Brennan came out looking for something to drink for Hannah but when I checked on them a little while ago they were both out.”
“I stopped by the store and picked up a few things for them,” Zane murmured as he held up the two plastic bags he’d entered the apartment with. Looked like they were traveling pretty light.”
Connor used his fingers to massage the back of Zane’s neck. “I know today was hard for you.”
“How can I miss someone who wasn’t a part of my life?” he asked brusquely. “Someone who left me at the mercy of a foster care system instead of making room in her life for me?”
Connor could actually feel Zane’s pain when he locked eyes with him. “I always thought maybe she just wasn’t the kind of woman who wanted kids but the truth is, she just didn’t want me.”
“It sounds like she made a lot of bad choices in her life. Maybe her printing out those stories about you was her way of keeping a little piece of you with her.”
Zane frowned and then reached into his pocket to pull out the piece of paper Brennan had written his information down on.
“She sure did know how to pick ‘em,” Zane muttered as he handed the paper over. Connor opened it and scanned the notes on the bottom of the page.
“Is this Johnny’s arrest record?” Connor asked in horror.
“That’s not even all of the charges. Declan found outstanding warrants in three states. He’s a fucking pedophile, Connor.”
“Jesus.”
“Declan’s going to call the authorities in the morning and let them know where he’s at. Family Services put out an Amber Alert on Brennan and Hannah but Declan said he’d take care of that too.” Zane leaned back against the couch and covered his eyes with his hands. “What the hell are we going to do?”
Connor liked that Zane had said “we” instead of “I” but he knew that ultimately the burden to make the decision would fall on Zane. “We’ll figure it out, Zane.”
***
Zane was nursing his second cup of coffee when he looked up and saw Hannah standing in the entryway to the kitchen. Her stuffed animal was dangling in one hand and Zane finally realized it was a bunny that was probably white once but had gotten so dingy it was nearly gray. She was wearing a long nightgown that went almost to her ankles and had what looked like different princess characters on it.
“Morning,” Zane said warily as he cursed himself for telling Connor to stay in bed a while longer.
Hannah didn’t respond but she didn’t look frightened of him either. Her long hair hung down her back in a tangle of snarls and curls.
“You hungry?” Zane asked even though he had no idea what to feed the little girl. Connor was a much better cook than him and most of the food they had in the house was geared towards adults.
Hannah nodded and then moved to the table and pulled out one of the chairs. She put the bunny on the table and then put a hairbrush that Zane hadn’t even noticed in her other hand down on the table as well. Zane stood and pulled the milk from the fridge. He found the plastic cups Connor had given the kids the day before and filled one up for Hannah and slid it across the table.
“Do you like eggs?” he ventured as he went back to the fridge and scanned the contents. He had to look back at her to see her shake her head.
“Bacon?”
Another shake.
“Fruit?”
Still a negative.
Zane drummed his hands on the side of the fridge. He yanked the freezer open and crossed his fingers when he asked, “Waffles?”
Finally, a nod. He owed Connor a kiss for having a carbohydrate addiction. Zane grabbed the box of frozen waffles out of the freezer and tossed them on a plate. As they were heating, he searched out the syrup and plopped it down in front of Hannah. But when he put the plate in front of her, she just looked up at him expectantly. It finally dawned on him that she was probably too young to cut the waffle up so he did it for her and then dumped a generous amount of syrup over the pieces. He handed her a fork and she eagerly stuffed the first piece in her mouth.
“Good?” he asked as he sat back down. She nodded and took another bite. To his surprise, she stopped eating long enough to slide the hairbrush across the table towards him and it took a minute to realize what she was asking…no, expecting. He could see that her hair was already dangerously close to the syrup covered plate so he stood and reached for the brush. Not once in his life had he ever brushed a girl’s hair but if he was doing it wrong, Hannah didn’t let him know it because the only sound she made was her frantic chewing. It made him wonder if she hadn’t eaten in a while or if she’d learned to eat in a hurry…he suspected it was a little bit of both.
After he managed to work the snarls out of her hair, he put the brush down. But Hannah pointed to one of several rubber bands tied around the end of the brush. It was a Herculean task to figure out how to get all her hair into the tiny rubber band but he managed it. Yeah, he’d missed a few pieces but he wasn’t going to press his luck. He sat back down across from her and was surprised when she just sat there and stared at him.
“How old are you?” he asked, though he already knew that she was four from the information he and Declan had discovered yesterday during their investigation. She held up four fingers.
“Does your bunny have a name?”
She nodded. He wondered if she wasn’t speaking because he was a stranger or if she just didn’t speak at all. She didn’t seem overly afraid of him which he hoped was a sign that Brennan’s intervention had been timely enough to keep Johnny from hurting her.
“Can you tell me what it is?”
She shook her head.
“Why not?”
She glanced around the room before she finally opened her mouth. “’Cause Brennan says I’m not allowed to talk to strangers.”
Zane smiled at that. “Your brother takes good care of you, huh?”
She nodded again.
“Well, when Brennan tells you it’s okay to talk to me, I want to know your bunny’s name, okay?”
Another nod.
“You want to watch some TV?”
A smile crept across her face and he felt a tug of emotion in his chest. She had their mother’s blonde hair and her eyes were blue instead of green like his and Brennan’s.
Zane got up and turned on the television as Hannah settled on the couch. He was just in the process of finding an appropriate channel when Brennan came tearing into the room, his eyes wide and full of terror. When he saw his sister sitting happily on the couch, he relaxed marginally and then cast an accusing glare at Zane.
“Morning,” Zane said as he found a children’s channel. “This good?” he asked Hannah and she nodded as she zoned in on the cartoon characters dancing across the screen.
“You hungry?” he asked Brennan as he went back into the kitchen.
“I can take care of myself,” came the clipped response. Brennan still looked frazzled so Zane went back to the table and sat down to finish his coffee. He was surprised when Brennan began making himself bacon and eggs.
“I bought you and Hannah a few things from the store,” Zane said as he motioned with his eyes to the two plastic bags sitting on the counter. Brennan glanced at them.
“I make sure Hannah gets what she needs.”
Zane wanted to ask who made sure he got what he needed but instead he said, “I’m going to add the cost for them to your bill so whether you use them or not is up to you.”
Connor chose that ex
act moment to enter the room but from the rolling of his eyes, he knew Zane’s words were complete horseshit.
“Morning,” Connor said as he glanced at what Brennan was cooking. “Hey, can you make me some of that?” he said as he reached for the coffee.
Brennan seemed caught off guard by the request but he mumbled, “Yeah, sure.”
“Morning,” Connor whispered as he leaned down to kiss Zane.
“Hi,” Zane said. He would have liked to sink his fingers into Connor’s hair and drag him down onto his lap for a real kiss but settled for discreetly licking his tongue over Connor’s lips instead. Connor’s eyes narrowed at the teasing move but he stepped away and focused his attention on Brennan.
“How did you sleep?”
“Fine.”
Connor started pulling plates down from the cabinet as he chatted with Brennan about inconsequential things. The kid’s responses continued to be one and two words only but Connor wasn’t in the least offended. The whole thing was so obscenely domestic that Zane actually found himself hiding a grin. Less than three months ago, the most time he would have spent in the kitchen this early in the morning was the two minutes he would need to suck down a cup of coffee while he finished pulling on his jacket and straightening his tie so he’d look perfectly put together when he walked through the doors at work. Today he was jobless, insanely in love and trying to figure out how his blood relative count had gone from nil to two in a span of less than twelve hours. And he had no fucking clue how to deal with any of it. He who had always planned out his future step by meticulous step was completely lost.
“You think that’s a good idea, Zane?”
“Sorry, what?” Zane asked as he shook free of his thoughts and focused on Connor.
“I was thinking it might be fun to take the kids to the zoo or the aquarium so you could focus on their case.”
Zane wanted to kiss Connor all over again because he knew it was going to take the better part of the day to try and figure out what the situation was back in Kansas City.
“Ren said he would join us since he’s not working today,” Connor added. Zane suspected Connor had asked Ren to go with so that he could be there if Connor had any episodes.
“That sounds like a great idea,” Zane said.
“What do you say Hannah? Zoo or aquarium?” Connor called into the living room. Instead of answering, Hannah came tearing into the room and ran up to Brennan. She tugged on the edge of his shirt and he leaned down so she could whisper in his ear. Brennan glanced between him and Connor and then nodded.
“Both!” Hannah said to Connor before she hurried over to Zane and held up her bunny. “Her name is Hunny Bunny.” She took off again but Zane knew even before she left the kitchen that he was completely and royally screwed.
Chapter 13
Connor couldn’t wipe the grin off his face as Hannah grabbed his hand as soon as he got her out of Ren’s car.
“Bye, Mick,” she said as she reached down to give Ren’s dog another hug.
“Thanks, man,” Connor said as he shook Ren’s hand. The outing had gone better than Connor could have expected. Between Brennan’s fascination with Ren’s GTO and Hannah’s obsession with the affectionate Golden Retriever that had sat between her and Connor in the back seat, both kids had spoken more in the first ten minutes of their trip than they had since they’d walked through the apartment door a day earlier.
“It was fun,” Ren said as he watched Brennan run his hand lovingly over the side of the car as he walked around it to the sidewalk. “Let me know if you want to come see the Trans Am I’m working on,” Ren said to Brennan as they bumped fists.
Brennan nodded and actually smiled. He automatically dropped his hand to take Hannah’s outstretched one but Connor was inwardly thrilled when Hannah kept holding his hand too.
“And thanks for thinking about the car seat,” Connor added. “I wouldn’t have even thought of it.”
Ren chuckled. “You can thank Declan – he’s on his third baby book and I guess there’s a whole chapter devoted to kids riding in cars.”
“Man, he really does take being an uncle pretty seriously.”
“He’s got Jagger all worried that we’re going to be looking for surrogates or filling out adoption papers next.”
“And are you?” Connor couldn’t help but ask.
Ren surprised him by looking at the kids. “I think we’ll get there,” he said softly. “Maybe not today or tomorrow but yeah, we’ll get there.” Ren leaned in and gave him a quick hug before saying goodbye to the kids.
Ray had been waiting for them patiently near the doors to Zane’s apartment building. Only Brennan had asked about Ray’s presence and although he’d seemed satisfied with the simple explanation that Ray was just helping to make sure they stayed safe, he likely would have asked more questions if Hannah hadn’t monopolized their attention from the moment they’d stepped through the front gates of the zoo.
By the time they reached the apartment, Hannah had rattled off the names she’d given to all of her favorite animals at the zoo and when they entered the apartment, she immediately sought out Zane and began telling him about their day. Zane, who’d been sitting at the kitchen table working on his laptop, listened attentively though his eyes had sought Connor out several times.
“Why don’t you guys go wash your hands and then we can decide what to do for dinner?” Connor suggested. The kids hurried out of the kitchen.
“What’s wrong?” Connor asked as he went to sit next to Zane.
“There’s no one, Connor. No grandparents, no aunts or uncles, nothing,” Zane muttered. “I spent the whole day talking to those idiots at Family Services who still think that the background check they did on that piece of shit kiddie rapist was “satisfactory.”
“Did the cops arrest him?”
“Yeah. But Family Services is insisting the kids be returned to Missouri since they’re considered wards of the state now. They even threatened to charge me with custodial interference.”
“Are you kidding me?” Connor asked, outraged.
“It’s just a scare tactic so they can try and save face.”
“But you can stop them from taking the kids, right?” Connor asked as his gut burned at even the thought of the kids being thrust into the same system that had nearly destroyed Zane’s life.
“Yeah, but it’s a decision you and I need to make together,” he said as he closed his hand over one of Connor’s. “I love you so much but I know this isn’t what you signed up for,” Zane said unevenly. “I can’t lose you but I can’t send them back there.”
Connor’s throat closed up as the truth hit him. “Zane, I would never ask you to choose between me and them. They’re your family. That makes them my family too.”
Zane reached up to run his fingers through his hair. “I thought we’d have more time to talk about shit like this. I always thought I’d be a lousy father so the idea of having kids wasn’t even on my radar,” Zane admitted. “God, this will change our entire lives.”
Connor couldn’t resist getting up and straddling Zane’s lap. If they were going to do this, the kids would have to get used to some PDAs because there was no way Connor was giving them up. He’d just have to remember to keep them PG.
“I loved today, Zane. Watching those kids smile and laugh. The only thing that would have made it better is if you’d been there. It’s huge and it’s scary but I think we can do it. We can give them what we didn’t have enough of when we were growing up.” Connor leaned down and sealed his lips over Zane’s mouth. Zane kissed him back as his hands roamed over Connor’s ass. It took every bit of Connor’s strength to drag his mouth from Zane’s. “I will miss being bent over this table though,” Connor whispered as he glanced at the kitchen table behind him.
Zane swallowed hard before saying, “That’s why God invented babysitters.”
Before Connor could respond, they heard footsteps rushing in their direction. Zane was already pushing Connor off h
is lap when Ray came barreling into the kitchen, gun drawn.
“What? What is it?” Zane said as he quickly stood.
Ray’s eyes darted around the kitchen and then searched the living room. “They said you needed help, Mr. Devereaux.”
“Who did?”
“The kids…Brennan. He opened the door and said you were in trouble.”
“Oh God,” Connor said as the truth sank in.
***
Zane was already moving as Ray holstered his weapon. He knew long before he even reached the kids’ room that they wouldn’t be there but he searched it anyway.
“Brennan’s backpack is gone!” Connor said as he ripped the closet doors open.
Fear went through Zane as he rushed towards the front door. “Where would they go?”
“Bus station?”
Zane nodded. “Fuck, which one?”
“There are two main terminals – one down by the marketplace and the other one on the south side,” Connor said quickly as he ripped out his phone. “Jagger’s townhouse is closer to the one on the south side. I took pictures of the kids while we were at the zoo. Ren said he was heading to Dom and Logan’s apartment for dinner but Jagger should be home.”
“I’ll go to the one by the marketplace,” Zane said. “Will you stay here in case they come back?”
Connor nodded.
“Stay with him,” Zane said to Ray as he snatched his car keys off the side table. Although the bus station near the waterfront was only a few minutes away, the evening rush hour slowed the trip dramatically. Zane couldn’t figure out what the hell had happened to make Brennan take off, but as each minute ticked past, Zane’s fear grew that he wouldn’t be able to find them. There was no way Brennan would take Hannah back to Missouri so the options of which direction they would head in was nearly limitless. Even though Brennan had given him the money he’d had in his pocket the night before, it didn’t mean he didn’t have more stashed away…enough to buy bus tickets. He didn’t even want to consider the possibility what Brennan would do if they didn’t have enough money for bus fare.
Freeing Zane (Barretti Security Series, Book 4) Page 20
