I loved Maverick more than life. All I wanted to do was protect him, but I couldn’t do what I knew I needed to do to ensure nothing happened to him. Not this time…
Now I had to face the consequences and pray everything would be okay.
As I washed my body, I saw the small bruise and tiny pinprick mark on the inside of my arm where the IV had been. The nurse had been seconds away from giving me the medication that would sedate me when I’d freaked out and jerked the needle out of my arm. I’d grabbed my clothes and gotten the hell out of there.
Holding back a sob, I touched a trembling hand to my flat belly. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I’m so sorry. I love you. I do. But I love your daddy too. I thought if I… That…” I clenched my eyes closed and sucked in a deep breath. “I just didn’t want them to kill him. But in the end, I couldn’t. I haven’t even met you yet, and I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone. Maybe even more than Maverick.”
I’d never thought that was possible. That I could love anyone as much as I loved him. But this was a different kind of love. This was a feeling that came straight from the marrow of my bones. There was life growing inside me that I’d created with my soul mate. Part of Maverick was sleeping right under my heart.
I’d been minutes away from ending my pregnancy, because I knew that was the only way to truly protect Mav from my father.
But I couldn’t.
I couldn’t choose between the man I loved and the baby that already owned my heart.
Four
Maverick
My alarm woke me at noon, telling me it was time to get my ass up and start the day. Groaning, I turned it off and just lay there for the longest time.
There was a pressure in my chest that was alien to me. A heaviness that kind of hurt—only it wasn’t an actual physical ache. It felt deeper, and I didn’t understand it.
Rubbing my hand over the spot that seemed to ache the most, I reached for my phone to text River. This time of day, she was in class, but she typically kept her ringer off, so I knew texting her wouldn’t get her into trouble.
Me: I think I need a hug.
Rolling my eyes at what a pussy that made me seem like, I got out of bed and walked into my kitchen to start a pot of coffee. I’d moved out of my parents’ house right after my sisters got married. My apartment was a small one-bedroom, but I didn’t need much space.
That would change when River moved in. though, and I knew I needed to find us somewhere bigger to show her dad that I could take care of his baby girl the way she deserved. Scrubbing a hand over the scruff on my face, I pulled up the local real estate sites to see if something bigger was available for rent.
When I didn’t see anything I knew my girl would like, I groaned and texted River again.
Me: Maybe we should just buy a small house for now. Like a starter house or something. Check out the site and let me know if you see anything you like, baby.
I included the real estate site I’d been looking at, but when the message went unread, I figured she was just busy with class.
While I got ready for work, that heavy feeling in the middle of my chest only intensified, making me feel sick to my stomach. The fact that my texts to River were still unread was only making the sensation worse. When I got to work and saw that her car wasn’t where it should be, I nearly puked in the parking lot.
Something was wrong. My girl wouldn’t torture me by not answering my messages and then being late for work without a reason. In my gut, I knew something was wrong.
Fuck, I’d known something was off with her for a few weeks, but every time I’d asked her what was going on, she would just say she was worried about what was going to happen on her birthday. No matter how hard I tried to reassure her I would handle the dads, I hadn’t been able to alleviate her fears.
Seeing my mom’s SUV in the parking lot, I walked into the shop to see if she knew what was wrong with River.
Mom didn’t handle the shop often. Like River, she got jealous as fuck when Dad had to ink some chick, and it was just better for everyone if she wasn’t around. That was why I was all for River opening a store with my sister.
“Hey, honey,” she greeted from behind the counter where she sat, looking bored to tears.
“Hey,” I muttered, bending to kiss her cheek. “River meeting Mila and the real estate agent?”
“No, she called me this morning and said she was sick…” I was already on my way back out of the door. “Mav, you have an appointment in two hours,” she called after me. “If you aren’t here for it, your dad is going to wonder where you are.”
“I have to make sure she’s okay,” I told her from the door.
Her eyes softened. “Just be back before your appointment, or James is going to ask questions. He’s not stupid, Maverick. With River out sick and you not here, he will put two and two together.”
“I’ll try to be back in time, but I can’t make any promises. If she’s not feeling well, I’m not leaving her alone.”
“The girl needs rest,” she tried to argue.
“My girl needs me,” I growled before jogging to my motorcycle.
It was a fifteen-minute drive to River’s house. On the way, I passed her dad’s bar and saw his bike in the parking lot. Glad I wouldn’t have to deal with him, I sped to her place.
Kelli was home, however, but when I knocked on the door, she was all too ready to let me in. Her face was tight as she stepped back, her gaze going to the stairs. “She’s not feeling too great right now, Maverick. I’m not sure what she’s got, but I’ve heard her crying for the past hour or so. When I went in to check on her, she wouldn’t tell me what’s wrong.”
The pressure in my chest only increased, and I practically ran up the stairs to River’s room. I didn’t bother knocking, just pushed her door open. When I heard her sniffling under her covers, I closed the door quietly and then kicked off my boots before climbing into bed behind her.
As soon as my arms were around her, she turned over and burrowed herself against me. Her pitiful little sniffles turned into body-quaking sobs as her fingers dug into me.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” I asked, my voice choked with emotion because I’d never been able to take River’s tears. When she hurt, I hurt.
“Please…just…hold…me,” she sobbed, clinging to me tighter.
Cupping the back of her head in one hand, I rubbed her back with the other while her tears soaked my shirt. I just lay there, holding her and letting her cry it out. I didn’t know what was wrong, but I vowed to make it better, no matter what it took.
When her sobs turned into heart-wrenching little hiccups, I lifted her head so I could see her face. Even with her eyes red and swollen, her face drowning in tears, and snot running out of her nose, she was still the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. Using my thumb, I wiped some of her tears away. “You ready to tell me what’s wrong, baby?”
Her lashes lowered, causing a few more tears to squeeze out of her troubled eyes. “Do… Do you promise not to hate me if I tell you?”
“There is nothing you could do that would ever make me hate you,” I told her truthfully.
“Today…” She broke off and pressed her face into my chest again. “Today, I drove up to Oregon. To… To… But I couldn’t do it, Mav. I couldn’t.”
I tensed. “Couldn’t do what?”
“Oh God,” she moaned, but her voice was muffled as she pressed against me. “Please know I love you. You are my everything. I would give up everything for you. But I couldn’t put you first this time.”
Heart pounding, I rolled her onto her back. Cupping her face, I held her in place and lowered my head until we were only inches apart. “What couldn’t you do, River?” I demanded.
Her body began to tremble, and she took my hand from her face. After kissing my palm, she lowered it until we were both cupping her lower abdomen. “I-I’m pregnant,” she whispered.
My heart did a funny little flutter in my chest, and my eyes stung
with tears. “You are?” I choked out, in awe of what she was saying.
I knew it was a given that we would eventually have kids, but they hadn’t been on my mind. With her telling me it was happening sooner rather than later, however, emotions I couldn’t describe filled me.
Her tears began to flow once again. “Y-yes.”
“Baby, that’s… Fuck.” I kissed her, hard, my entire body vibrating with love for her and the life that was growing in her belly.
But she pressed against my chest, breaking the kiss. “It’s not a good thing, Maverick!” she cried. “This is going to get you killed.”
“You’re overreacting,” I tried to assure her, but deep in my gut, I knew she had reason to be concerned. Still, I didn’t want her to worry.
“Listen to me!” she commanded, sitting up and leaning back against the headboard. Pressing her hands to her face, she gave a muffled scream before scrubbing away her tears. “I went up to Oregon to have an abortion.”
“Shut up,” I barked, refusing to believe she could ever do that. “You didn’t get rid of our baby.”
“No,” she whispered, her hands going to her stomach protectively. “I didn’t. But I was going to. All I could think was that I had to get rid of… I was so scared—am so scared—that my dad will kill you once he knows. So, I made the appointment, and I went. I-I got as far as the IV when I realized I couldn’t. I love our baby so much, Maverick. I-I couldn’t…”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I demanded, pissed at her—and a little at myself for not paying more attention. For not making her tell me what was wrong when I knew fucking good and well there was something up with her.
“Because I didn’t want you to feel guilty.” She shifted her gaze to the window. “Fuck, Mav. I have enough guilt for the both of us. And I didn’t want you to worry. I thought…if I just got rid of it, we would be okay. You would be safe.”
I grabbed her around the neck, not hard enough to hurt her, but with just a little pressure to make her look at me. She didn’t even flinch, my touch grounding her. “This shit ends here, River. You don’t ever keep anything from me again. No matter what it is, we face everything together.” She opened her mouth to argue, but I tightened my hold. “Am I clear?”
After a small hesitation, she gave a nod. “I’m sorry.”
I pulled her onto my lap. “If you’re saying sorry because you kept this from me, I forgive you. If you’re sorry for anything else, you don’t need to be.” Stroking her hair back from her damp face, I tilted her face up and kissed her lips. “I don’t want you worrying about anything. I’ll take care of it.”
“H-how?”
“I don’t know yet,” I told her honestly. “But I promise you, baby, we’ll figure it out.”
Five
River
“Are you eighteen or eight?” Nova muttered beside me as we stood in the middle of Hannigans’, watching all the dads put up frilly pink decorations.
Dad and Uncle Jet were standing on ladders, hanging a banner that read “Happy Birthday, Princess” in glittery pink and purple lettering.
“Huh, I did have one just like that at my eighth birthday party.” Shaking my head, I glanced down at my baby cousin. With her blond hair and eyes the same shade of green as my own, she could have passed for my sister. Only where my features came from my mom, Nova’s were all our aunt Raven. “Dad always goes a little overboard on my birthday. I blame it on him having only one kid.”
“Please. It’s a Hannigan thing,” she grumbled. “Did you see my dad at my last birthday party back in November? They got a bouncy castle. I turned thirteen, not six.”
“Hey, I had a blast bouncing around in that huge thing,” I told her with a grin.
“Because you were the only one in there jumping. None of the kids from school who came would even go near the thing.” She pressed her lips into a tight line. “All the girls were too busy drooling over Ryan.”
I draped an arm over her shoulders. “Like he would ever give any of them two seconds of his precious time.” Which was the truth. Ryan Vitucci hadn’t even seen all those girls practically begging for his attention as they stood around him like he was a celebrity. His entire focus had been on Nova and making sure she was happy.
Ryan and Nova’s relationship was…weird to me. From the time she was three and he was eight, they had been best friends. There was a connection there that not even the distance from Creswell Springs to New York City could interfere with. But I always figured that once Ryan started getting older, things would change.
Oddly, they hadn’t.
When he got to the age when it was normal for a boy to start noticing girls, he’d seemed immune. Everyone began to wonder if maybe Ryan was gay, but he didn’t seem to be into guys either. No, it was more like that part of himself was being suppressed.
As if he was waiting…
For Nova to grow up.
Which was adorable, but Nova was only thirteen to his nearly nineteen. He was going to be waiting for a long, long time if that was the case. But I figured that if anyone could do it, it was Ryan. I’d never met anyone as stubborn or as determined as he was, which was saying a hell of a lot considering who my family was.
“River, Nova,” Aunt Raven called from behind the bar. “Girls, can you finish getting the food out of the back of my SUV, please?”
“No problem, Aunt Raven,” Nova assured her as we headed for the door.
Outside, there were only a few other cars and a couple motorcycles. Raven’s black SUV was parked right beside the entrance with the trunk open. There were enough boxes of food platters to feed an entire army, but probably would barely put a dent in the appetites of everyone coming to my birthday party.
I reached the trunk first and picked up the first box, but as I lifted it and turned, a wave of dizziness hit me so hard, I dropped the box.
“Whoa!” Nova caught me around the waist when I began to sway. She was a tiny little thing, but oddly strong as she half picked me up and leaned me against our aunt’s vehicle.
Sweat began to bead on my forehead and upper lip. The world was still dim around the edges, and my heart was pounding hard against my ribs.
“Are you okay?” she demanded, touching her hand to my forehead. “You’re ice-cold, River, but sweat is pouring off you.”
I shook my head, trying to clear it, but that only made my dizziness worse. “Fuck,” I whispered, frantically glancing around, but thankfully no one was outside but the two of us.
“Why do you look so freaked out?” my cousin demanded.
“Because…” My eyes went to the front entrance of the bar and stayed there, praying my dad stayed inside until the world stopped spinning. Only one other person knew about my condition and that was Maverick, but I knew Nova would keep my secret. “I’m pregnant.”
“Oh,” she muttered. “Okay, yeah, I can see why that would be reason enough to be worried. But you’re obviously sick right now. You need to go sit down.”
“No. Just give me a second. I’ll be okay.” Bending, I put my hands on my knees and lowered my head, breathing through the nausea that was making the dizziness even worse.
“You stand here. I’ll take this inside so Aunt Raven doesn’t come looking for us.” Nova stepped away, and it was only then that I realized she’d still been holding on to me and supporting a good portion of my weight. At the loss of her stability, I felt like I was going to fall again. Reaching behind me, I braced myself against the SUV a little better so I didn’t face-plant into the ground.
Nova picked up the box I’d dropped and hurried inside, appearing again only a moment later. “Still okay?” she asked softly as she grabbed another box.
All I could do was nod because if I spoke, I knew I was going to vomit. The look the younger girl gave me was skeptical, but she carried the next box inside.
I stood there for a couple minutes while she took a few more loads. Just as Nova entered the bar for the fourth time, the sound of a vehicle pulling
into the parking lot caught my attention, and I slowly turned my head to see who it was.
Monroe’s husband parked their gigantic SUV, and Maverick’s youngest sister got out with a beaming smile on her face. Her hair was pulled up into a simple ponytail that hung past her shoulders, and she was wearing a pretty floral dress that clung to the curves she’d kept after having her beautiful baby girls. “Hey, River!” she called as she opened the back door to grab one of the car seats her twin daughters were strapped into.
“H-hey,” I called back.
Gian walked around to take the car seat from her. “I told you I would get them, precious,” he gently scolded her before dropping a kiss on her lips. “Go speak to the birthday girl. I’ve got our angels.”
Without arguing with him, she practically floated over to me. But when she got close enough, her eyes widened in concern. I tried to give her a small smile, but it felt wobbly, and it only made her that much more worried for me. “Are you sick?”
I lifted a finger to my lips when her voice rose, and she clamped her mouth shut in understanding.
“Where is Mav?” she whispered.
“He had to go on a run to Reno Friday night with Jack and Kingston.” I wiped my upper lip with the back of my hand. “He should have gotten back last night, but something came up. He promised he would be back today, though.”
I was kind of hoping he wouldn’t get back in time for the party, however. I knew it was only putting off the inevitable, but one more day of peace wouldn’t have been a bad thing. I wouldn’t have to worry about blood being shed at my birthday party—or Maverick being beaten into a coma.
Just thinking of what could happen to the man I loved when he showed up at the party only made my stomach cramp painfully. Whimpering at the sudden agony, I bent in half once again and lost the fight to hold back the vomit.
Sacred Vow Page 4
