Shock swept over him. “He wants you to fly out on Christmas Eve Day? What kind of people do you deal with?”
“He had an accident and broke his ankle…” She started to explain but her words just sounded like excuses to him.
He held up a hand. “Never mind. It isn’t important.”
There was a commotion on the little stage. All the kids were following the director into the chapel. Livy motioned him forward. Shane nodded and sighed. All his emotions, frustrations and fears were spilled out…spent. He was done and their grand adventure was over.
He turned back. “Go to your meeting, Lauren. It’s where you belong. The kids and I belong here and we’ll be just fine. Thanks for the fun but vacation is almost over. It’s time to get back to our real lives.”
Spinning, he stalked toward the chapel, leaving Lauren alone.
Chapter 7
SHANE WALKED TOWARD THE CHAPEL and purposely closed the doors behind him. She was closed out. Shut down. “Set free,” in Shane’s words.
But she didn’t feel free. In fact, she didn’t know what to do with herself. Her whole week, maybe her life had turned topsy-turvy and righted itself around Shane and his children. Without them, she didn’t know where to go.
Her father and Opal still stood hand in hand on the deck. She didn’t want to go that way and interrupt them so she headed in the opposite direction, catching the walking trail that ran beside Jingle Bell Creek.
The air was brisk. In places on the shallow creek still ice ran along the banks but the center of the creek was crisp and clear. She could smell the freshness of the spring in the air and the sound of trickling water eased her spirit.
Her phone buzzed in her pocket, probably for the fourth or fifth time. Mandy calling again, wondering which flight she had booked. Lauren didn’t answer because she’d wanted to talk to Shane first.
But she never dreamed he’d say the things he did.
His harsh tone echoed in her mind. Your dreams are big. Your determination and drive were strong. You’d never be content with homework and dinner at six. You want it all.
And his disbelief and disgust when he said what kind of people do you deal with?
Was he right? Had her mother known Lauren so well that she understood her ambition, the driving need to make her mark on the world?
Those new impressions felt right. Felt real. At the time, she’d sensed that her mother had set her free, sent her charging out into the world. And Lauren had succeeded, even better than either of them anticipated.
But why had she been so cruel to Shane? Why hadn’t she tried to talk to him, to explain?
The answer was simple. She’d known that if she talked to him, she might never leave him.
She loved Shane McAllister. Always had. But she chose a different path over him. Never even gave him the chance to make a life together work. And that fact would never change. The hurt would never go away. He might have forgiven her and been willing to share his children and his holiday with her, but he would never trust her with more of himself.
He was right not to.
Her cheeks were cold and she brushed at them, surprised to find tears streaming down and chilling in the cold air. Walking so fast and hard, she’d come to the end of the trail. A stand of trees, a rather large forest, was ahead of her. She wished she could just step off the gravel path, walk into the woods and lose herself.
Her phone buzzed again.
Shane was right. Who were these people? Didn’t they know Christmas was for family? For taking stock, remembering and…and cherishing? Were they all angry, hurting people like herself?
The answer was another slap in the face. Of course they were. She surrounded herself with the same lonely, cynical people she had become. Her cheeks burned remembering all her snarky comments about cheesy Christmas celebrations and happy family get-togethers. But that was before a wonderful man with a cowlick, a shy smile and boundless heart had walked back into her world, forgiven her and shared a small piece of his life with her.
She paused and wiped the tears again.
He was right about one other thing. She wanted it all. Her life. Shane. His life. His rehearsals, cartoons in bed and dinner at six. She yearned for a cheesy Christmas card with all of them dressed in red, footed pajamas sent out to the world, proclaiming their happiness.
Why couldn’t they find a way to combine her business and his small-town life?
But did she have a right to even try? Hadn’t that ship sailed years ago when she turned her back on Shane?
She looked back at Christmas Inn, standing tall and beautiful, and the little white chapel on the hill that wasn’t afraid to proclaim love and ring happy bells.
Of course she had a right to that hope.
Why else had God brought her here now, with Shane, in this wonderful place where His special touch made impossible things happen? Where tradition and love reigned and challenged the world to try…just try to stand against happiness.
The Lord meant for her to be here. Everyone she loved was here, with her, for a reason. All she had to do was use the determination and drive He had given her to make it all right.
Spinning, she stalked back to the Inn.
Todd squirmed through the entire early evening service. He kept turning around…waiting for Lauren to walk through the door. No matter how many times Shane tried to explain that she was gone, on her way to a very important business meeting, Todd refused to believe. He flat out stated that Lauren wouldn’t leave them without saying goodbye.
Guilt settled on Shane like a heavy cloak. This was his fault. He knew Lauren. Knew her goals and responsibilities. He should have limited the kids’ exposure. Made other plans that didn’t include his former girlfriend and her father. But he’d been enjoying himself just as much as had his children. Life with Lauren was exactly like he’d pictured it when they were teenagers and he allowed himself to wish and want it like it might actually happen.
And now his children, who had already lost their mother, were missing another woman. He should have known better. Every word of the minister’s sermon about peace on earth and love hit him like a pinprick. There’d be no peace for him tonight. Every time he looked at Todd’s disappointed face or Livy’s angry one, he’d remember all over again.
Not to mention those lips. The rightness of her in his arms. The sweet scent of the perfume he’d bought her so many Christmases ago. She still wore it. That hadn’t changed. Nor had his feelings for her. Or hers for him. She still chose her ambitions over him…and now, over his children. He was a fool to think it would have been different.
“Dad, we have to go.” Livy’s harsh whisper brought his wandering thoughts back. He’d been mentally lashing himself while the director of the Nativity scene frantically signaled to him. He rose and ushered his children to the back of the chapel. A side door led to a small area at the base of the staircase leading to the bell steeple.
Those bells. It was their fault. Maybe if they’d never rung when he kissed her all those years ago, he wouldn’t have believed that he and Lauren had a future together. An electronic tick or faulty wiring had given him a fruitless hope.
“Ouch!”
“Sorry, Todd.” He’d cinched the rope belt around Todd’s shepherd costume too tight, bringing yet another frown to his young son’s features. Shane really needed to get his thoughts back on the right track.
You’d think I’d know better and not have been so foolish.
Or not be so impossibly in love?
There it was—the word he’d been avoiding. The truth behind his anger. He’d never really stopped loving Lauren Bradford…even when she turned her back on him and walked away. Even then he’d understood, wished her well, hoped for the best.
Good old Shane. Everybody’s best friend but never the one…the forever one.
But still, I’m blessed to have these guys.
He would never be completely alone as long as he had his children. Smiling, he chucked Todd under the chin
. “Be an awesome shepherd.”
Todd nodded and scurried out the door behind his brothers and sister. Shane followed them.
This far out of town no lights dimmed the bright stars. They stood like brilliant white lights on a vast black velvet backdrop.
Lights from the long chapel windows fell in perfect yellow squares on the dark ground in front of him. The manger scene nestled up against the rise of the hill. Soft lights lit the faces of his smiling children. Livy looked beautiful as Mary. Bryce and Justin were suitably serious kings. Todd turned and gave him a slight finger wave.
Shane waved back.
I will count my blessings, Lord, and be content. I promise.
The chapel doors opened and people streamed out, blocking his view of the children. But aaah’s and oooh’s echoed across crisp air. Obviously his kids were a hit. Shane smiled and stepped back, making room for more folks to crowd around the living Nativity. Tucking his hands into his pockets, he shivered slightly. Snow might not be in the forecast but it was definitely cold enough for it. Good thing the kids were only scheduled to be outside for half an hour.
“Hello.”
Lauren! Shane’s heart leapt at the sound of her voice. His pulse hammered and it was all he could do not to turn around, scoop her into his arms and kiss her breathless.
Hadn’t he spent the last hours chastising himself for getting involved with her? Hadn’t he just promised the Lord to be content? He needed to keep a tighter hold on his emotions.
He turned slow. Of course, she looked beautiful in that white parka with the fur around her face. Those incredible eyes stood out, dark against her fair skin.
“You’re back.”
She shook her head. “I never left.”
“Never left…but you missed your meeting.”
“I called the exec and told him this was Christmas—family time, and I wasn’t coming.”
His heart skipped a beat. As happy as he was to see her, it would have been better for her to stay away, to make a clean break from the kids…and him. It sounded like she planned to go on with their Christmas morning plans as if nothing had changed. That couldn’t happen.
“I’m sorry you gave up your opportunity for no good reason.”
She gave a little laugh. “I didn’t give up anything. I actually gained an ally.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m late for the service because we spent hours on the phone. The exec said he was glad to hear my change of heart. The company is very family oriented and tries to keep family first. The only reason he agreed to see me was because of his broken ankle…and because I was so insistent before. My determination had made him uncomfortable but when I backed out, it reassured him. Plus he was very impressed with my new catalogue. We’re meeting the day after the first to firm up the contract.”
He took a deep breath. “That’s great. Good for you.”
“It’s good for both of us, Shane.” She stepped into his space, crowding him. He needed to step back, should put distance between them but she smelled so good…
“How…how is it good for both of us?”
She took another step. He wished she would stop. He couldn’t think when she was so close.
“Because the new contract will require more of my time away. I’ll have to start delegating more of my daily business to my office manager…and since I’m delegating, I think it’s time to create a vice president.”
She took another step and he grabbed her arms, holding her inches away.
“Why would you need a vice president?”
“Because I’ll need someone to make decisions while I’m gone for long periods of time.”
He cocked his head. “You won’t be gone that long.”
“Oh, I will. I’ll need time to wait around for rehearsals, homework, dinner at six.”
She inched closer, her eyes wide and so appealing he was almost undone.
“I told you,” she murmured. “New York is not that far away.”
Shaking his head, he held her immobile, wouldn’t let her come closer. “It is! It’s about as far away from my little life in Tennessee as it can get. How will we ever make it work?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. I’m not sure. But I’m doing what you said I do best. Jumping in with both feet, and then I’ll use my determination and drive to make it work.”
She pushed against his hands but he held her back still. She kept pushing. “Together we can do it. I know that.”
Together. They had always been stronger together. Maybe it could happen. Maybe…
He shook his head. “You’re talking about your strength, your resolve. You making the world bright and wonderful…again. I won’t be bringing anything to the table…except my children. A ready-made family doesn’t make a marriage. In fact it can make it strained.”
She pushed his hands away, gripped his jacket and pulled him so close those sweet, apricot lips were only inches away. “We’ll do what you do best…be the most amazing parents while maintaining fabulous careers.”
He liked the sound of that. Was it possible? Could they have the best of both worlds? His hands covered hers but his doubts remained. “I know I can be a good parent, Lauren. I’ve been doing it for years. But that isn’t all there is to a marriage.”
She smiled and stroked her hand down his cheek. “I know. I need you to be the best friend ever. There’s never been anyone better at that than you, Shane. Don’t you know? Years ago, you let me go without a fight. You set me free but you never left me. Everything I did, everything I accomplished was with you at the back of my mind. How would Shane make this design better? What would Shane do about this moral decision?”
Such sweet words…maybe the sweetest he’d ever heard. But could he trust her? She meant it now but what about two months down the road or twenty?
She seemed to sense his doubts and leaned even closer. “Don’t you know I am what I am today because of you? You were with me every step of the way. I built my life on the rock of your friendship. Now I want the rest of you. Your busy-slash-sometimes-waiting life. Your rambunctious children. Your kisses on my lips each night when I go to sleep and when I wake in the morning. I want you…all of you. For sickness and in health. Will you marry me, Shane McAllister?”
He stared into the big brown eyes he’d always loved. This incredible woman…she was serious. Dead serious and they were the words he’d never dared hope to hear. In fact, they were the words he never wanted to hear. He couldn’t hold back a chuckle. “You know you just proposed to me. That’s my job.”
She smiled, her lips just a breath away. “I know. I figured after the way I left you last time, you deserved the chance to walk away this time.”
Something flared to life inside him, something like real hope. Wrapping his hands around her waist he snuggled her even closer. “I’m not walking. Not yet. We need to see if we can make this work, if you’ll let me make some of the decisions some of the time. For instance, Livy’s modeling. I still say no.”
She shook her head. “I say maybe. She deserves a chance at something she might love to do. And the money she makes will go into an account for her college. But…” She wrapped her arms around his waist and snuggled up against him. “You’ll have to determine the hours and how much is enough. It seems I have a real problem with those kinds of boundaries. And her hair will stay long per her father’s wishes or no modeling.”
Shane grinned. “Compromise? From the lips of Lauren Bradford?” Lips he couldn’t stop looking at. “I like the sound of that.”
“I’d like something better. Please, Shane. Kiss me.”
“No need to ask again.” Wrapping his arms around her he leaned her into the crook of his arm but then he remembered the bells. He paused and looked up. “What if they ring again? I really don’t want this crowd stopping and staring.”
“They won’t ring.” Lauren’s tone was so low, it vibrated through his body and woke things long dead. “They announced our love years a
go.”
He hoped it was true because now that Lauren had awakened those long dead sensations, nothing was going to stop him. He touched her lips, gently at first. They were as sweet and soft as he remembered. She tasted a little like chocolate mint and he couldn’t get enough. He covered her lips, then the corner of her mouth and down her neck. She moaned softly and the woman with a backbone of steel melted in his arms. She was his. Now and forever.
He trailed a kiss back up her neck to capture her mouth again, but something exploded above their heads. They looked up to see white fireworks soaring across the velvet sky and showering down on them like sparkling snow.
With her head tucked into the curve of his arm and the sparkles twinkling in her dark eyes she smiled. “Livy got her bedazzling Christmas and now I have mine.”
With that, she pulled his lips down one more time.
Enjoy this Sneak Peek into…
The Evergreen Wreath
Chapter 1
“OH MY DEAR, WHAT HAPPENED to your lip?”
Virginia Pepper clutched the shawl-wrapped bundle in her arms, blinking as her eyes grew accustomed to the dark interior of the church. Two women sat at a small wooden table in the otherwise empty vestibule. They both stared at her mouth with pained expressions. Sympathy, perhaps.
Or pity.
She stiffened at the thought. “The wind blew the door out of my hands and I walked right into it.” She met the women’s gazes straight on, almost daring them to point out the lie. Even her tone held a slight tinge of belligerence.
The older woman rose and walked around the table with firm purpose, dark blue skirts swishing. Such an authoritative stride. Virginia bit at the inside of her lip, suddenly doubting the wisdom of her decision to come here.
The woman stopped in front of her, hands folded, and studied her face with a look so piercing, Virginia felt sure she could see right through her.
Love at Christmas Inn Collection 2 Page 8
