He pulls me forward so I’m splayed across his chest, a languid heap of satiated flesh and bone. His hands grip the globes of my ass as he grunts. My orgasm rolls through me as he works himself to the end. His groans reach a fever pitch and end on one long, low note which sends shivers down my spine.
As the moment fades and reality returns, even after everything he’s said, I start to worry that my exhaustion will overtake me and I’ll wake up to another empty bed.
Ben shifts us so we’re lying on our sides facing each other. “You’re overthinking it already,” he tells me. Then, after a few seconds with no response from me—because, well, he’s right—he mumbles, “Give me ten minutes. I promise we’ll go again—and again, if I think you fuckin’ need it—until you’re not able to think at all.”
“YOU PROMISE WE won’t be gone long?” she asks, her hands fiddling with the hem of her dress.
I glance over at her out of the corner of my eye and smile. “Stop worrying so much. Cole will be fine. Mom’s raised a couple kids. She knows what she’s doing, I promise.”
“I hate to put her out this way. Melissa normally sits for me, but I told her I wanted to let your family get to know him and all.”
She checks her phone for the millionth time and I slip my hand around her leg and squeeze her thigh. “Stop worrying so much. He’s going to be fine. Mom has both of our numbers and she’ll call if anything’s wrong.”
“I know, you’re right. It’s just that your paranoia is rubbing off on me, I guess.”
“Well tonight isn’t about that. Tonight it’s just about us. Plus, I’ve got something to show you that I think you’ll like.”
“Are you going to tell me what it is?”
“No. Not ruining the surprise.”
“I don’t deal well with surprises,” she says, finally caving in and resting her weight against my side. I resist the urge to grip her tighter in satisfaction. About damn time she started giving in to me.
Chill bumps cover her legs as I brush her inner thigh with my fingers. Ever since we had sex again, I haven’t been able to keep my hands off her. “You’ll like this one,” I assure her.
Her breathing deepens the higher my fingers go and I start to wonder if I’ll ever make it to where we’re going, without wanting to stop and find that spot on the side of the road again where we could make full use of our night alone together.
The road curves and the lights reflecting off of the dark ink of the lake come into view. Her leg stiffens underneath my hand and she sucks in a deep breath. She turns to look at me, lips parted and eyes wet with tears.
“What are we doing here?” she asks.
I pull into the driveway, headlights illuminating the empty porch and the swing I’d had installed with her in mind. I’d left the living room lights on so the place looks like home. Or at least my best guess of what she would think home would look like. I resist the urge to fidget as I wait to see her reaction.
“Closed on it today,” I say quietly. “It’s mine. I wanted to share it with you. I know how much he meant to you and I wanted to spend the night with you here. I wanted Cole to have the same memories you had, and even those that you didn’t, when you grew up here. I had a great childhood, so I can’t imagine not having one filled with the people you love. I know giving him a family, roots, is important to you. Whatever happens between us, I want you to know he’ll always have that.”
When she doesn’t say anything, I get out of the truck and rub my hand on my neck. Maybe it was too much. Fuck, I’ve probably gone and upset her. I move around the truck to the passenger side door and open it up to let her out and apologize. I’m barely able to get a word out before she vaults herself into my arms, her hands wrapped tight around my neck.
“Thank you,” she whispers brokenly. “Thank you so much, Ben.”
The knot in my stomach eases and I wrap my arms around her waist. “You’re welcome.”
She sniffles and pulls back, wiping her eyes. “That’s some surprise.”
“I just thought you’d like it.”
“It’s perfect.” She takes my hand in hers and drags me to the entrance of her dad’s old lake house.
“Now don’t expect much from the inside. I haven’t had time to furnish it, so it’s pretty bare bones right now.”
“I’ve learned that it’s not the things inside the house that makes it a home. It’s the people and the love they share.” She stops inside the doorway and turns to face me. “That’s what you’ve given me here. I don’t know how to thank you for it.”
I step closer and pull her to me. “You don’t have to do a thing. Just enjoy it with me.”
Her hands cup my neck and bring my mouth to hers. She brushes against me all heat and softness. I linger on the sweet taste of her until I remember that I didn’t bring her here for this and break away.
She looks disoriented. “What’s wrong?”
I rub a finger over her lips. “Nothing, I just didn’t bring you here for this.”
Her face falls. “You didn’t?”
That surprises a laugh out of me and I smile. “No, but don’t think I won’t take care of you later.”
Instead of biting back at me like she normally does, she melts into me with a breathy, “’Kay.” A part of me likes that even more than her attitude, that she trusts me to lead her anywhere.
I lead her through the empty, shadowed house and to the backyard where the overgrown path leads down to the lake. Her hand is clasped firmly in mine as we make our way down the dock, where I’ve set up a blanket on the sand. Haloes of light from the torches surround the spot and she gasps when she sees the setup.
“I thought it was the least I could do for missing out on so much. I know it doesn’t make up for the past year, but I thought I’d try.”
“I don’t know what to say. It’s beautiful.”
“I’m glad you like it.” I tug on her hand and lead her down to the blanket. “I figure since we haven’t actually been on a real date that we’re long overdue.”
She glances at me with a smile that makes me forget my earlier resolution to keep my hands to myself. “Are you saying that this is a date?”
“We’ve done everything else out of order, I didn’t want you to miss out on this, too.”
That adorable pink shade tinges her cheeks. “You’re being ridiculously sweet right now. Quick, do something possessive or arrogant.”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that. I save that for the second date.”
She stretches out on the blanket and my eyes catch on her skirt riding dangerously up her thighs. “Are you saying you want to go out on a second date with me?”
“Let’s just put it this way,” I nip at her lips and deepen the kiss until she’s breathless, “consider yourself unavailable, just in case any other guys come sniffing around you. I won’t go as quietly as little Chad did.”
“No talk about Chad tonight. Rule number one. No talk about shootings, or burglaries, or surgeries. No talk about me at all,” she declares.
“Sounds like a plan.” I ease back on the blanket, draping her over me so that we can look up at the stars. For the first time in a long time, the anxiety that buzzes under my skin is as quiet as the night around us.
“We can talk about you instead.”
I groan. “Let’s not ruin the night, Liv.”
“Oh, uh-uh,” she retorts, all sass again. “I’ve put up with you butting your nose into my life since you got home. I want to know what you’ve been doing. Where you’re going. I know you’re sensitive about it, but I want to know about your hearing. You don’t have to tell me about what happened, but I just want you to know that you can talk to me.”
I fight the urge to put some distance between us. “It doesn’t make for good first date conversation.”
“It does for us. I want to be here for you, like you’ve been for me. I know you try to be the big, strong man, but there is obviously something bothering you. You can lean on me, too, you know.
I’m stronger than I look.”
“I know you are, Spitfire, but there are a lot of things you can’t know. A lot of things that I will never tell you.” Her hand finds mine and pulls it to rest on my stomach. “We were clearing a hill, trying to gain some territory. A lot of political bullshit that doesn’t matter. Anyway, our guys were getting smoked and we got called out. Our convoy was ambushed by rocket fire. I managed to save one of the guys before I was knocked unconscious. When I woke up with the worst headache of my life, they told me I’d never hear out of my right ear again and that, aside from the guy I pulled out, I was the only survivor. And I don’t even know if he made it. He was in critical condition last I heard, while I was in the hospital. It was crazy over-crowded so I couldn’t find out much else.”
“I’m so sorry you had to go through that, Ben.” Her hand tightens around mine.
“Don’t be. It’s what I signed up for. It was my job.”
“I’m so glad you made it home safely, though.”
“Sometimes I’m not so sure,” I murmur.
She sits up and leans on an elbow. “What does that mean?”
“Nothing.”
“No, tell me.”
“Look, there’s no way you can really understand what I’ve been through. To work with these men, train with them for months and then watch your men die while you live… It doesn’t feel like honor. I don’t feel like a special snowflake. When I think about the fact that they died and I lived, I don’t feel lucky. I feel like I should have gone down with them.”
She’s silent for a moment before clearing her throat. “This may make me sound like a horrible person, but I’m glad you made it. If you hadn’t, Cole would never have had the opportunity to meet you. To get to know the good man that I know you are.”
“I told you this wasn’t good date conversation.” I laugh hollowly.
Livvie presses a kiss to my jaw. “This is the best date I’ve ever been on because it’s with you.”
“I’m sorry, what’d you say?”
She looks up at me and says, “I said this is the best date—”
“I’m just kidding. A little deaf humor to lighten the mood.”
Her elbow makes sweet love with my rib. “That’s so not funny.”
“Sorry, sorry. Too soon.” She settles back down by my side and I search for a topic that doesn’t relate to me. “Have you had any luck with your bio parents?”
“Actually, Sof says she stumbled onto something. She’s supposed to email it to me at some point. After all that’s happened though, I almost don’t care. I’m just happy to have my two guys happy and healthy. Right now, that’s all that matters to me.”
She shivers against me. “Why don’t we head inside for a bit,” I suggest.
“Thanks for this. It was nice.”
I ball up the blankets and pull her to me. “The night’s not over yet,” I whisper against her lips.
Then she shivers for a completely different reason.
It almost feels like we’re teenagers again, sneaking away from the group of our combined families to neck underneath the lights of the Ferris wheel. I wasn’t worthy of her first kiss, and I’m sure as hell not good enough to have her look at me the way she does, but like the greedy asshole that I am, I take it.
I lay her down on the bed, a sexy sprawl straight from every dirty fantasy I’ve had about her over the years. Her chest heaves with shuddering breaths as I dip underneath the material of her dress. I find her wet for me, drenched, and I worry for a second that I’m going to end it before we even get started, so I pause to kiss her. Which doesn’t do anything other than fan the fire.
We break apart and I bury myself in her neck. Her hips rock under me and she takes my hand in hers to lead back down to the place between her thighs. My fingers stroke her deep, her walls clenching around me. I love how turned on she gets, how loud she can get, just for me.
“I wanna hear you this time,” I tell her, nipping her ear lobe for emphasis. “There’s no one around here but you and me. I wanna hear you every time you come for me.”
“Ben, I can’t…”
“Yes, you can.” God, and there she goes. Her muscles tighten—both inside and out—and her skin blushes everywhere. She wraps her arms and legs around me, using them to slide herself up and down my fingers as the convulsions reach a climax.
As she goes slack around me, I quickly roll on a condom. When I get her pregnant the next time, it won’t be left to chance. She looks up at me, the corners of her lips pulled into a pleased smile, and the thought of her full with my child strikes a hell of an attractive image.
I fit my body between her thighs and guide myself to her entrance, sliding inside on one smooth thrust, causing both of us to moan. Her nipples draw up tight, flushed pink and brown even in the shadowed room. I can’t resist the impulse to take one into my mouth, teasing it with the flat of my tongue. She clenches around me and I release her to breathe deeply.
“It gets better every time,” I choke out.
Her hands lift to my cheeks and she kisses me. “It’s always good when it’s with you,” she tells me, her lips moving against mine.
“Fuuuuck,” I murmur against her, caught in the slow, wet glide. I pull back to give myself some breathing room, regain some portion of my sanity, but her hands catch at my hips and she arches hers up to meet me.
“Keep going. You feel so good.” Her voice catches as I sink back in, tipping my hips in search of the spot that makes her go crazy. “So good,” she whispers.
“We’ve got all night, baby. I promise I’ll make you feel a whole lot better.”
She giggles through another moan. “Oh, God, I don’t think that’s possible.”
I take that as a challenge. My vision flashes white as I set a steady rhythm, thrusting up to meet her hips and gliding out slowly. Her hands clutch at my back, her nails digging into my skin.
I want to draw it out, make it last, but I can’t kid myself. I’ve been gone for her for a long time. To combat the pending orgasm I can feel drawing my balls up tight, I slip a finger between us to bring her to the edge. Her legs weaken, falling open in response, her body melting beneath mine.
“Shit, shit, shit,” she whispers. “I’m gonna come.”
“Oh, yeah?” I slow my pace, watching as she tightens up, her mouth opens and she lets out a voiceless scream, offering up her throat to me. “God, baby, yes.”
I let go, following her over. My arms give and I levy my weight over her, trying not to crush her. Rational thought is drowned out by the buzzing in my ears.
I manage to get up and dispose of the condom in the bathroom and slide back into bed next to her. She turns to me automatically and fits herself to my side, resting her head on my shoulder and wrapping a thigh around my legs.
“Is that a picture of me?” she asks, propping herself up on an elbow and peering at my nightstand.
“Uh—yeah. It is.”
“Where in the world did you get that? How long have you had it?”
“Since last year,” I reply sheepishly. “I kept it with me in Afghanistan. Nicked it from your brother’s car before I left.”
“You’ve kept a picture of me with you that long?”
I swallow thickly. “Yeah.”
She relaxes back down on top of me, her hands tightening around me. My world contracts down to this house. This room. This moment.
“I love you.” The words come from a place I don’t let anyone see. The place that I’ve kept wrapped up tight since I left.
When she doesn’t respond for a second, I start wrapping us up in the sheets thinking she’d fallen asleep. Then she looks up at me, emerald eyes twinkling, and says, “I love you, too” and I know she does. A woman like Livvie doesn’t give herself easily. To anyone.
That’s really what I meant when I told her that Chad would go crazy over a woman like her.
She’s special and now that she’s mine, there’s no way in hell I’m going to let her go.
>
Livvie eventually agrees to let me stay at her place, though I think it’s out of sheer exhaustion for the most part.
From that moment on, I don’t leave their side. I take her to her physical therapy appointments. I take Cole to his checkups and quiz every single doctor and nurse I can get my hands on about his condition. I help Olivia feed, change, and clothe him. When she has her own appointments, I’m the one who watches him.
One morning a few weeks after our date at the cabin, I find her downstairs, a cup of coffee cradled in her hands. “Mornin’,” I say.
Her eyes flit between me and the cup. “Good morning.”
I make my own cup and sit next to her at the island bar. She shifts uncomfortably. “You’re up early.”
She nods. “I have a meeting at eight with the principal from my school to discuss going back to work next week.”
The hot coffee burns my tongue. “Next week?”
Livvie hops up from the chair. “Uh huh. Thankfully they’ve held the job for me after Cole’s diagnosis and this catastrophe. I just want things to get back to normal as soon as possible.”
“Normal.” I repeat.
“Yeah.” She returns with creamer and a toasted bagel. “The doctors have given me the go ahead to go back to work. If I have to spend another day cooped up in this house, I’m going to go crazy, Ben.”
I take a calm sip of my coffee. “Like hell you’re going back to work next week.”
Livvie looks at me with a mouthful of bagel, her eyebrows raised. Her jaw works as she swallows. “I’m sorry,” she says after a moment. “What are you talking about?”
“In case you forgot, someone tried to kill you less than a month ago. They shot you. If you think I’m letting you go back to work before they’ve even caught the fucker, you’re crazy.”
She sets down her bagel carefully and splays both hands on the counter. “I can’t let this guy ruin my life. I’ve given my arm plenty of time to heal so that I can get back into working order. Cole’s healed from his surgery and ready to go back to daycare. I don’t want to let this affect our lives more than it already has. If I do that, if I go into hiding, then he wins.”
Warrior (First to Fight #1) Page 17
