she asked. “The magnetic needle points to
the north. But if you put a magnet near the
compass, you can shift the needle.”
I looked around. Nothing. “I’m afraid
finding a
magnet
on this ship will be
like searching for a whisker in a haystack!”
I groaned.
The luCky CharM
Just then, Benjamin began squeaking. “I
have a magnet, Uncle Geronimo!” he cried.
He proudly held up his lucky charm. It
was a refrigerator magnet shaped like a
small piece of cheese. I’m not sure why
Benjamin thought the magnet was lucky,
but he carried it with him everywhere. He
brought it with him to Squeaking School, to
the dentist, and even when he got his fur cut
at Sniprat the Barber.
Thea stuck the
lucky charm to the
compass. Then she
checked the needle.
72
m
a
g
n
e
t
BOUNCING
“There!” she said, satisfied.
“From now on, the compass will
point toward Ho-hum
Island!”
We decided to hide in
a huge silver trunk
filled with maps.
Seconds later, I
heard a noise. I lifted the
trunk’s lid just enough
to spot Tomcat Jack.
He took one look at
the compass and began
around like a
basketball with whiskers.
“We are off course! Hurry, everybody to
their posts!” he screeched.
73
all CaTs aT
The ready!
Tomcat Jack quickly grabbed a silver
megaphone and began
shouting out orders.
“All cats at
the ready!
Hoist the
jenny! Lower the flying
jib! Tighten up that
boom lift! Keep an eye
on the topsail!”
Talon, the ship’s
officer, rushed over.
“What’s going on,
Jack?” he cried. “Have you been eating
catnip again? Why are we changing course?”
Tomcat Jack wiped the sweat from his
74
whiskers. He looked dazed and confused.
“I can’t understand it,” he muttered.
“One minute we were sailing along just fine.
The next minute we were headed in the
wrong direction! But it’s OK now. We’re
back on course.”
I grinned and lowered
the lid. Yes, we were
back on course, all
right. We were
headed straight
for Ho-hum
Island!
By eleven the
next morning, we were
ready. We were also a little
squashed from spending
the night in the trunk.
Trap was so excited he
could hardly keep still.
“Can’t wait to cook those
cats!” he squeaked. “This
is better than the time I
cornered those ratburglars
with my electronic weed
whacker!”
CounTdown:
Three, Two,
one . . .
F
i
r
e
!
F
i
r
e
!
Fir
e!
Fi
r
e
!
Fi
r
e
!
F
ir
e!
F
i
r
e
!
F
i
r
e
!
F
i
r
e
!
We waited until we spotted Ho-hum Island.
Then we quickly scampered into the powder
room. No, this powder room wasn’t for
curling whiskers or fluffing up fur. It was
filled with barrels of gunpowder!
Each one of us took a
barrel of gunpowder and ran
to our posts. Our plan was
to confuse the pirates and
make them believe that the
whole ship was on fire. We
would start twelve
fires in twelve separate spots on the
ship.
“Three, two, one . . . fire!”
With a crackling noise, flames licked the
walls. Black smoke filled the air.
We heard the cats shouting:
The flames were spreading fast.
What happened?
I want my mommy!
Did the kitchen blow up?
The flames were spreading fast, fanned
by the wind off the ocean. We wrapped
our paws with wet towels to keep from
burning. The ship was getting hotter than
the Cheeses of the World float at the
Mousey’s Day Parade! Meanwhile, the
pirate cats were racing around in a panic.
We could hear them meowing.
Have we been attacked?
?
By now, the ship was glowing from the
heat. The cats were hopping around on the
deck as if they were standing on the grill at
Slinkrat’s Sizzling Steak House!
After a while, the cats gave up the crazy
dance moves and began to jump overboard.
“Stop, you SCOUNDRELS! Only I say
when it is time to jump!” meowed a
furious Black Bandit. But for once,
no one was listening.
We waited for all of the pirates to get into
the water. Then Trap and I ran to the sails,
and Thea took the helm. Benjamin quickly
closed the doors to the cabins that were on
fire. He put some wet towels at the bottom
of each door. Without any air, the flames
slowly began to go out.
a red-hoT Claw
When the pirates realized what had
happened, they tried to climb back on
board. But not one cat got a paw
on deck. We had already raised the
sails and were speeding away.
“WE’RE OFF TO NEW
MOUSE CITY!!!
” cried Trap, grinning
from whisker to whisker.
I caught sight of the Black Bandit
glaring back at us. The wind carried some of
his words. “SOMEDAY we’ll meet
again, little micey!” he shrieked. “And when
we do, you’re going to wish you had never
learned how to squeak!”
Then he cut the air with his sword, as if
he were chopping us up.
Prowls was doing the kitty paddle, trying
to keep up with his brother. We also spotted
Slobbertooth, the chef; Claws, our friendly
82
jailer; Patches, the violin player; and many
more.
Thea leaned out of the boat to scan the
horizon. Ho-hum Island was very close.
Before long, the pirate cats gave up trying to
follow us and began swimming toward it.
WE HEARD THEM SINGING
AS THEY SWAM
. “Catchy,” said
my sister, tapping her paw to the beat.
Then she grabbed a pencil and began
jotting down the words to the
song.
“If you see a big ship on the water,
Beware, the pirate cats are near!
If you see our tough fur and tails waving,
Beware, the pirate cats are here!
We are many, we are mean,
Always ready for the unforeseen,
Forever looking for great treasure,
83
Forget fighting, you just won’t measure!
Meoooww. . .We’re the mightiest cats
around,
So give us your gold, and don’t make a
sound!”
Of course, we had to sing our own battle
song in reply.
“A thousand tails raised in the air,
A thousand voices squeak with care,
Rodents cheer and heave a sigh,
Sweet Mouse Island
will never die!”
84
Cat-roast surprise
The days went by. Each
morning, I searched the sea
for our precious Mouse Island.
But so far, there was not an
island or a mouse in sight. I
was getting as homesick as a
truckrat on a cross-country
delivery. Boy, do I HATE traveling!
We had checked out the ship from top to
bottom. Luckily, the supplies on board
would last for at least a few years. We each
chose a cabin to sleep in. I was sleeping in
the Black BANDIT’S room. Benjamin
insisted on staying with me. He wanted to
have a sleepover party every night. “We can
85
BANDIT’S
BANDIT’S
have pillow fights and sing songs and
tell stories all night long! OK,
Uncle?” he squeaked.
I was tired already. But I didn’t
have the heart to say no.
The room
was filled with some very
strange things. I discovered
a big black tarantula in a
golden cage. It was the
pet. There
was even a leash for her
daily walk! In a small
silver bowl was her
favorite food: ant soup, fried
flies, and mashed gnats. I bet Chef
Slobbertooth had fun cooking that!
Besides the tarantula, I also found dozens
of flowery homemade pillows. It seemed the
86
Black Bandit had a secret hobby:
needlepoint! I smiled to myself. Now that
the Bandit was stuck on Ho-hum Island,
he’d have lots of time on his paws. Maybe
he could needlepoint a pillow for each of
the cats. He could hand them out as
Christmas gifts.
I climbed into
bed, avoiding the rug. It
was made of soft gray fur. It might have
been mouse fur. I tried not to think about it,
but it was hard. I could
almost hear that poor rug
squeak! On a bedside table
sat a cup with a picture of a
cat on it. I think it was Sir
Catfish the Third, the first cat to sail around
the world. I wonder if he’d had a mouse
rug, too.
Thea had settled in Prowls’s cabin. It was
87
filled with toys. There was a mouse
marionette, a spinning top, lots of
windup mice, and a furry cat-in-
the-box that meowed when it
popped open. On the shelf over
the bed sat an old mechanical toy.
It was a cat pulling a mouse’s tail.
The mouse looked like he’d been
running the New
Mouse City Marathon
for weeks! I wanted to throw that
one overboard.
Trap had chosen the cabin belonging to
Chef Slobbertooth. The cabin was
covered with grease stains.
All kinds of cookbooks
lined the shelves. I
read a few of
the titles.
Cat-roast Surprise: Roasted snails with
potatoes
Crispy Cat’s Cradle: Fried snails in a
pastry shell
Hearty Cat Chowder: Snail soup
with cream and vegetables
The Happy Cat Hoagie:
Raw snail on a roll with
oil and vinegar
Cats in the KitChen: 50 WhisKer-
LiCKin’ MeaLs in Minutes, the
HUNGRY CAT COOKS, and How to
THROW the PurrfeCt Dinner Party.
Trap sprawled out on Slobbertooth’s
leather love seat. “Hey, listen to this,” he
said, reading recipes from a note titled
Snails for Tails.
Thank you, BlaCk
BandiT!
I was at the helm when
Benjamin came looking for me,
waving a broom and a dust rag.
“
UNCLE Geronimo, come
and see what I found!” he called,
tugging at my jacket.
He was dancing around like a
kernel of popcorn before it pops! “Please,
UNCLE! Right away to the cabin!” he
squeaked.
“Cabin? What cabin?” I asked, confused.
For a minute, I started thinking about an
old log cabin we used to go to in the
summers. It was right on beautiful Lake
Lakelakelake.
90
BANDIT’S
BANDIT’S
“UNCLE GERONIMO,” insisted
Benjamin, interrupting my thoughts.
“Guess what I found under the Black
Bandit's bed!”
“Another tarantula?” I asked nervously.
“No!” squeaked my nephew. “A secret
hiding place!”
Benjamin was right.
Under the
bed was a trapdoor. It
was chained shut with a
huge silver lock.
“Hurry, let’s open
it!
” said Trap. His eyes were
as big as two saucers of milk.
“Let’s not get too excited,” I warned.
“We don’t want to be disappointed. It could
just be the BANDIT'S dirty underwear!”
Half an hour later, we finally broke the
91
lock. And I was wrong.
There was no underwear in
this hiding place.
“Treasure!”
cried Trap, diving into a
mountain of gold and silver coins. Precious
stones and glittering jewels spilled onto the
floor. It was an amazing sight!
Trap put a crown on his head and took a
bow. “How do I look? Like the King of the
Pi-rats?” he squeaked, grinning.
“Wow! Take a look at these rubies.
They are as big as eggs!” called
Benjamin. He held up two
enormous gemstones.
Meanwhile, Thea had
opened a small painted box.
“Pink pearls!” she cried,
holding up a necklace. “How
92
beautiful!” She fastened the strand around
her neck. Then she stared at herself in a
mirror. “They are so me!” she announced,
beaming at her reflection.
Also in the box was
a bracelet, a ring, a
pair of earrings, and a
dazzling gold crown. I
stared at the jewels.
They looked so familiar.
Suddenly, I slapped my
forehead with my paw.
“That’s it!” I yelled. “I know
where I have seen these jewels.
Queen Natasha Noblesnout is
wearing them in that famouse painting!”
I picked up a gold coin. It belonged to
the Kingdom of Cats. Carved on one side
was the pirates’ motto: What’s Yours
93
“
H
o
w
b
e
a
u
t
i
f
u
l
!
”
Is Mine, What’s Mine Is Mine!
(Someone really needed to teach these cats
a lesson in sharing.)
Then I spotted a silver coin. My eyes
opened wide. My fur stood on end. My heart
beat so fast I felt like I had just swum ten
laps in the pool at WaterRat Park.
94
Queen
Noblesnout
This was not just any old silver coin. I
cleaned my glasses so I could see it better.
“Moldy mozzarella!” I cried. “This is
the legendary silver quarter! It was
the first coin ever minted on Mouse Island!”
I held the coin out so the others could see.
The quarter was dated 1458. Mouse Island’s
motto was carved on the back:
Rodents Be Smart, Follow Your Heart!
95
sTern wind!
“Rodents be smart, follow
your heart!” we chanted as we took
turns at the helm. A stern wind pushed us
home.
Yes, if this wind kept up we’d be sailing
into Mouse Island in two shakes of a rat’s
tail. I was so happy! I couldn’t wait to sink
my teeth into a juicy cheddar
cheeseburger or maybe a gooey
pizza pie from The Sliced Rat.
Oh, sweet Mouse Island, I
missed you so!
I reached for the wheel. What
a great ship! A real battleship. I
wondered how many fights it had
96
Attack Of The Bandit Cats Page 4
