by Casey Peeler
“I guess that’s why he did what he did today then,” Walker states.
“Probably. I know he didn’t mean to hurt me, but what he said today crossed a line. Who and what I do is none of his damn business,” I say, and Walker starts to laugh. “What?”
“You really went there?”
“I did,” I say with a smile. “I think me being with you scares Logan more than anything.”
“Whatcha mean?”
“I mean, besides his parents, I’m the only one that keeps Lane’s memory alive. He knows I’ll never forget him, though. I just think it’s hard for him to see I’ve been able to move on.”
“You still go hunting?” Walker asks.
“Nope. Not since that day. I just can’t. Sometimes, I go out there and just sit. It makes me feel close to him,” I say.
“Chauna, I’m sorry I can’t take away that pain.”
“It’s okay. It’s made me who I am today.” Walker pulls me into his arms.
“Well, I have to say. I am kinda glad I don’t have two of them to fight,” he says with a smirk. I look at him and wonder if Lane were here today, if there would be an “us”. I’ll never know the answer, but I’m glad Walker was the one to open my heart again.
Knowing that school is out for the day, Walker takes me back to school to pick up my truck. We share a kiss before going our separate ways, and I pray that his parents aren’t too hard on him about his suspension. As I pull in the driveway, I see Logan’s truck, and my anger starts to flare.
I try to calm myself down as I walk into the house. As I open the front door, I can hear Logan and Daddy talking. I pause to listen, but decide to just walk into the lion’s den.
“Lo, what are you doin’ here?” I question.
“Just thought I’d stop by and see how you were since you bailed out of school early.” I want to jump across the room and knock him out for telling on me.
“Thanks. I’m good, though,” I say with a smile.
“What’s going on, Chauna?” Daddy asks me.
“Why don’t you ask Lo? He seems to be so full of knowledge today,” I say, waiting for his reply.
Daddy looks to Logan and then me. “Okay, you two. I don’t know what’s going on, but I want answers. Chauna, I want to know why you left school early today without permission, and, Logan, I don’t want to have to call your parents. So you both better start explaining,” he says in a gruff voice.
“Logan here decided to run his mouth to Walker today, and when they got into a fight, Walker was the one who got suspended.” Daddy looks toward Logan.
“Is this true?” he asks.
“Yes, sir.”
“Why would you do that, Logan?” Daddy asks.
“I don’t know. I don’t like Walker. She’s different around him. We’re different. Things aren’t the same, and I still don’t trust him,” he says. Daddy points to the table for us to take a seat.
“That’s no excuse, Logan. Life changes, people grow and change, but running your mouth and getting into fights isn’t your style.”
“Honestly, I don’t know what happened. It was just hard seeing them at Boondocks Friday, and then I overheard Jimmy talking at the shop this week when I went to get my car worked on. I guess I just kinda lost it,” he says as he places his hand on his forehead.
“What was Jimmy talkin’ about?” Daddy asks as he looks between us.
“He was just giving me a hard time about Chauna and Walker going out,” Logan says as he looks toward me.
“Chauna, you want to add anything to it?” Daddy asks.
“Logan seems to think I’m wasting my life here in Barber with Walker,” I say as I cross my arms and wait for someone to reply. They both look at each other.
“Oh my gosh? Really? Daddy, you, too!” I say as I stand, and my chair slides out behind me. “I can’t believe this. What? Is this Team-Get-Chauna-and-Walker-to-Break-Up?”
“No, that’s not what this is, Chauna. Now, sit your butt back in that chair.” I do as Daddy says.
“I want you to be the best you can be, and sometimes when people walk into our life, things get fogged up. Just think about your choices. You know I’d love for you to go to college. Heck, Logan’s got a full ride to Charlotte. You could go, too. Experience life outside of Barber for just a little while, then if working at Boondocks is what you want, I’m okay with it.”
“Fine,” I state as I excuse myself and flip Logan off when Daddy isn’t watching.
I throw myself onto my bed and wait for Logan to leave. Once he’s gone, and I’ve had time to calm down, I go back downstairs to talk to Daddy.
“Daddy, what Logan did was uncalled for. He embarrassed himself and hurt me in the process.”
“Come here,” Daddy says as I take a seat. “I hate to tell you this, but Logan loves you more than he’s willing to admit.”
“I don’t like him like that, though.”
“I understand, but you are also one of the only people that he trusts with his heart. He lost someone close, and he doesn’t let many people in. Just remember that.”
“Do you care if I go out? I just need to think.”
“No, take your time,” Daddy says.
Entering the woods, I walk to the place where I last saw Lane alive. Taking a seat on the hard earth, I sit and look at the stars in the fading sky. I think about all the fun times we had in these woods playing hide-and-seek, searching for new species of birds, hunting together, and just coming out here to enjoy the quiet and peacefulness together.
Looking into the sky, I can almost feel Lane near me. I begin to laugh at all the silly things we did as kids, but when I think about how much I needed him as we got older, my laughter turns to tears.
“Why did you have to go, Lane? Why?” I scream. I continue to cry as I ask the silence what am I going to do about Logan. With so much silence surrounding me, the memories of his last day pour over me, and it’s as if I can hear the shot as if it were happening right now. As quiet tears become sobs of emotions, I don’t hear Logan approach.
“It’s okay, you know?” Turning, I see Logan. “It’s okay to let it out and not be happy all the time,” he says as he takes another step forward. I try to brush the monsoon of tears away as Logan comes and takes a seat beside me.
“Lo, I’m not happy all the time,” I say.
“Yes, you are… well, except when you’re pissed like today.” I cut my eyes to him, and he knows he better stop while he’s ahead.
“The day he died, I lost the one person that really knew me. Since you knew each other so well, I thought that we could pick up where you two left off,” he says as he nudges me.
“Lo, we’re different,” I whisper.
“I know, but a boy can dream, can’t he?” I start to laugh as he pulls me into his shoulder, and I’m no longer mad at him. I know we will always share a piece of Lane. He’s right. I don’t have to be happy all the time, but I am happy with Walker. I hope he understands that and accepts that we are a couple.
Walker
After working a few hours at the shop and asking Ivan if there’s anything he needs me to do over the next four days, I finally make my way home to find Dad waiting for me on the porch.
He takes a few steps toward me, and I wait to see what he has to say. “So, you got yourself in some trouble today, huh?” he asks, already knowing the answer as he invades my personal space.
“Yea...” I try to say as his hand smacks me across the face. I don't gasp or react; I've learned it's better to just take the pain given, even though it fucking hurts on top of the hit from Logan. “If it’s ’cause of that girl, you need to just leave her alone. They ain’t nothing but trouble anyways,” he says with a smirk and turns to walk into the house as if nothing has happened.
“It’s not like that. It was her best friend. He started it.”
Dad begins to laugh.
“Her best friend’s a guy?” I nod my head. “You’re doomed. This will not work out good for you,
” he says and then opens the screen door. “Well, since you don’t have school, you better make yourself useful. I’m sure Ivan’s gonna make a big run.”
“I know. I’m picking up some extra work there the next few days. And I figured it was time for another run anyways,” I say.
“Yeah, well, come on. Your mom’s got dinner ready,” he says as I follow him to the kitchen to eat dinner like a normal family.
When I wake up in the morning, I text Chauna to have a good day at school and let her know I’ll be at the shop most of the day. I toss on a pair of worn-out jeans and a ratty old T-shirt before sliding on my boots. I’m going to miss seeing her in school today, so I’m hoping she’s able to stop by after school.
I pull into Ivan’s at seven, and there is a different feel to the shop than in the afternoons. Suzy is already at the desk talking to customers. She welcomes me, introduces me to the next customer, and hands me their keys. She also lets me know that Ivan should be here by lunch. I nod and get started. I continue to work alone until Jimmy and James arrive at nine thirty. We take a minute to go over the list of repairs that need to be done today and then catch up while we wait for the next customer.
“So, Logan tried to beat your ass, huh?” James states with a smirk.
“Tried is the key word there,” I say as Suzy motions for us, and Jimmy says he’s got it.
“I knew he’d go ape shit before this was over,” James replies.
“Why’s that?” I question.
“’Cause it’s always been Logan and Chauna since Lane died.”
“Yeah, Chauna told me about him,” I say.
“Walker, I’m not trying to get all mushy here, but Lane’s death not only messed them up but a lot of other folks in this town, too.”
“What do you mean?”
“Dude, look around. There ain’t shit here. The damn mill’s closed, people had to leave Barber to make a living, people hunt ’round here whatever the season is. He got killed by his own damn brother.”
My heart skips a beat. Holy hell, Chauna never said who killed him. “Logan?” I question.
James shakes his head no.“Lewis.”
“Who the hell is Lewis?” I ask as Jimmy makes his way back into the shop.
“Logan’s older brother. He lives in like Tennessee now,” he says like it’s no big deal.
“Okay, so can y’all explain the pieces I’m missing?” I say as I pop the hood on the car Jimmy just brought in.
“Dude, basically, Lewis was hunting out in the same area as Chauna and Lane, but he had no idea they were there. The sun had just started to set, so it was blinding. He heard something and shot without thinking. When everyone realized that’s what happened, their family fell apart. Their parents couldn’t handle living next door to Chauna, so they moved. Lewis was close to graduating and had planned on playing baseball at South Carolina. When this happened, he was charged with manslaughter, and it ruined his future. Once he served his time, he packed up and moved to Georgia. It’s like their family lost two kids that day,” Jimmy explains.
“I thought he was in Tennessee,” James says.
“Nah, he’s down in Georgia,” Jimmy confirms.
“Shit. I can’t believe Chauna didn’t tell me that part,” I say as I raise the car on the lift.
“I can. No one talks about it. It’s like the town’s little secret. You wouldn’t believe all the TV crews that showed up here and what it did to this place. Lewis was a good guy. I hate what it did to him and his family. Maybe things will change one day,” Jimmy finishes, and we drop the subject. Now I know why Logan and Chauna are so close.
Ivan arrives at lunchtime and heads straight for his office without saying a word. Twenty minutes later, he calls for me.
“Walker, I got a run Thursday. Can you handle that?”
“Sure. Same deal?” I question.
“Not quite. This one’s larger. Boondocks has been going through the shine. They are now one of my biggest customers. There’s a party there Saturday night that’s supposed to draw a crowd. They’ve got a big band coming to town.”
“Jackson’s Wheel isn’t playin’?” I question because I find that very strange.
“No, they are opening as the house band then Schaffer’s Story is taking over,” he says.
“Who’s that?” I ask.
“Hell, if I know, but talk is they are a pretty group of girls, so we expect a crowd. I’ll give you all the details once I have it all sorted out.”
After Ivan dismisses me, I eat a pack of crackers from the vending machine for lunch and then work until two o’clock. When Ivan lets me go for the day, I head home to shower and then drift off to sleep on the couch.
I awaken to a knock on the front door. Dad answers it, and I hear her voice. Oh shit! Chauna. I jump up and hurry to the door. As Dad is about to invite her in, I step in front of him and walk outside with her.
“Everything okay?” she questions.
“Yeah, just didn’t expect to see you here,” I say as I hear Dad’s voice heated with anger from within the paper thin wooden shell we call a house. Chauna pauses, and I walk her from the front of the house into the yard.
“Are you sure everything’s okay?” she questions, and her innocence shines through as I reassure her.
After a brief moment of silence, she speaks. “Oh, well, I just brought your work for the rest of the week. That way you won’t be behind.”
Acknowledging her sweet gesture, I pull her in closely and thank her.
“Thanks, Princess, but I know your daddy doesn’t want you over here,” I say, trying to divert her from the madness that is unfolding behind the walls.
“It’s daylight, so it’s okay. I went by Ivan’s first, though,” she says.
“You did?” I question.
“Yeah. James said you left a little bit ago, so I thought I’d check to see if you were here.”
“You know you didn’t have to do that, though.”
“I wanted to, Walker,” she says. As she looks me in the eyes, I place my hand under her chin to bring her lips to mine and hear the creak of the screen door… Dad.
“Well, aren’t you gonna introduce me to your girl?” Dad asks as he takes a swig of moonshine from the glass jar.
“Dad, this is Chauna. Chauna, this is my dad, Troy,” I state, looking between the two.
Chauna takes a step back and walks to him and extends her hand. “Nice to meet you, sir,” she says, and she takes another piece of my heart.
“Well, aren’t you a cutie,” he replies. “I’ll leave you two alone, but your mom’s inside. You might want to introduce her, too.”
“Okay, will you ask her to come out here?” I ask. Within a minute or two, Mom comes outside, and it’s obvious that Dad’s fist has been up close and personal with her cheek.
“Hello, Mrs. Bentley,” Chauna says, holding out her hand, ignoring the sight in front of her.
“Well, hello, sweetie, so nice to finally meet you,” Mom says as she shakes Chauna’s hand as if nothing is wrong.
“Nice to meet you, too,” Chauna says with a smile.
“Well, I better get in there to start fixing supper. Walker, make sure you are home in time to eat,” she says as she walks back inside.
Once we are alone on the porch, Chauna takes her hand in mine. “Your mom looks so familiar.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, like someone else I know or saw on TV. You know, they aren’t so bad.”
“I don’t want to talk about it. Wanna go for a ride?” I ask her.
“I thought you’d never ask,” she says.
Chapter 25
Chauna
The moment I’m on his bike with the wind whipping around us I hold on to him tighter, and all my worries seem to disappear. I know there’s something about his family that Walker doesn’t want me to see, but I know I’m hiding my own secrets as well.
As we approach the old fishing hole, I know I don’t want to talk. I just want to enjoy
our time together. When Walker starts to get off the bike, I tell him to stop, and he knows just what to do. He pulls me onto his lap, and we forget the world around us.
It’s almost dusk when we get back to Walker’s house, and I know Daddy will kill me if I’m here after dark. As Walker turns off his engine, we hear yelling coming from inside. Walker quickly tells me to get in my truck and go home. Without hesitating, I do as he tells me, but I’m worried about what’s going on inside.
“Walker,” I yell out the window, “meet me later!”
He nods his head. “I’ll text you when I can.”
He hurries in the door as I hurry home. The sun is barely in the sky when I pull into the driveway, and I know Daddy won’t be happy.
Entering the house, he has supper on the table for me.
“Everything okay?” he asks. “You’re home kinda late.”
“Yeah, I took Walker his school assignments for the week, and then we just hung out a little while.”
“What did I tell you about being over there?” he states.
“I know, but I went right after school.”
“After school? It’s almost seven o’clock,” he says with irritation in his voice.
“I know, but we didn’t stay there. We went riding,” I say as I shrug it off.
“Chauna, what aren’t you telling me?”
Tears well up in my eyes. “Daddy, when I got there, his dad was yellin’ at his mom and then came outside. He didn’t do anything, but when Mrs. Bentley came out to introduce herself, it was obvious what had happened. How can people live like that? I’m scared. What if his dad does something to him or his mom again?” I cry. Daddy takes a step toward me and wraps his arms around me.
“It will be okay. Walker will be fine.”
Looking up to him, I ask, “How do you know that?”
“It’s obvious this isn’t his first time dealing with it. I just hope that he’s learned from their mistakes.”
“I told him to meet me later when he could. Daddy, I have to know he’s okay,” I say and pray he understands.
“Fine, but I want to know where you are going, when you are leaving, and when you return.”
