Stede’s gaze left Carolina long enough to acknowledge Jenny, then returned his attention to her, capturing her eyes. Wordlessly, he shifted his broad shoulders, reached for the knob and with a slight nod, that seemed more promise than agreement, closed the door. Carolina stared at the door, waiting for her inexplicably racing heart to quiet.
Jenny seemed satisfied with her examination and left as quickly as she came, saying she’d be back to check on her and not to worry about Doc disturbing her sleep again.
That, Carolina knew, was easier said than done. He disturbed her even when she was awake.
She would have crawled to her car, if need be, if it weren’t for the fact that he was leaving within hours for a rodeo. That meant she’d have the house to herself as a base of operation while she searched for Carl.
She was convinced that if Carl were still alive, he’d be someplace in the area. He was too lazy for her to imagine him moving very far. But what would have caused him to move in the first place? She wondered. Perhaps he had died.
For the millionth time, she reran the scenario in her mind what her first encounter, since she left Arizona, would be like with Carl. The dream, or better, the hallucination, was always the same. A black-and-white silent film.
Trouble was, Carl wasn’t where she thought he’d be. Tomorrow she’d check the phone book and if that didn’t help, she’d do a computer search. She had research skills and plenty of experience searching genealogy sources. How hard could this be?
Twelve years had passed since she had gone to court and changed her name from Mary Fox to Carolina Palmer. She recalled what she felt when she arrived at the trailer park yesterday. Recollections of the former life she could never forget, paralyzed her causing her to question the sudden decision to return.
Twenty-one years had passed since the day her mother abandoned her and her older sister, Lizzie, when they were only nine and eleven years old. That horrible event remained the worst day of her life.
In hindsight though, as she matured, abandoning them became the smartest thing her mother ever did because her mother had been far too frail to survive another violent domestic episode. Carl Fox was brutal.
Lizzie and she were stunned when he didn’t bother to go after their mother and force her back home. But as far as she was concerned, that was the only decent thing Carl ever did in his entire life.
Carolina shifted her thoughts back to Stede Foster, grateful for the diversion. She appreciated his generous hospitality. She really did. But like Carl Fox, he made her apprehensive and caused her heart rate to accelerate, but for altogether different reasons.
She studied the black and white patches of hide on the insets of the armoire doors as if they were inkblots on a Rorschach test that might reveal some intellectual and emotional factors. This attraction, especially for a cowboy, didn’t make any sense to her.
Arizona was in her past, not her future. She tightened the blanket up under her chin, lest Stede thought of some other reason to come barging through the door, and finally fell into a fitful sleep until a noise outside awoke her.
Now what? She slid out of bed, keeping her bandaged foot off the floor and her bare foot on the red Oriental rug that partially covered the highly polished wide planks, and grabbed her crutches.
She hobbled to the window and leaned over the ledge beside the saddle to get a better view, resting her forehead against the pane, unmindful of how her long blonde hair and the white satin bodice of her gown with its spaghetti straps might be reflecting the soft moonlight.
Stede and Manny finished hitching a trailer the size of a motor home on the back of the truck. Two beautiful black geldings were led inside and after latching the doors, the men rubbed their hands together briskly indicating their enthusiasm to leave.
Carolina fingered the small stitches at her temple, still feeling Stede’s gentle touch as he’d sewn her wound. Wistfully she watched as Jenny and Manny kissed goodbye. How she longed for a loving relationship like theirs. Stede gave Jenny a hug and she saw them speaking and looking up at the house at the same time. No doubt talking about her. Then Jenny stepped away from the truck.
Stede bent to pat King who barked wildly because apparently he wasn’t invited on the trip, then he looked up at the window and tipped his Stetson before climbing behind the wheel. Carolina couldn’t see his face in the shadows, but she was positive he gave her one of those one-sided smiles of his, complete with the dimple.
“Of all the nerve.” She stepped away from the window. He could have at least had the courtesy of not letting her know he saw her. Hobbling back to bed she uttered, “Cowboy!”
Chapter Four
“Hey, there!” Jenny called as she entered the house through the kitchen the next morning.
King barked and jumped off the couch and went running to her.
Carolina recovered from the previous night’s bout of loneliness and had become deeply involved in research of documents for a client and the interruption caused her heart to jump. She let out a shallow breath, stretching her hand across her chest.
“Oh, Jenny, you startled me.”
“Gosh, I’m sorry. I thought for sure you’d hear me coming up the porch steps. King doesn’t usually bark like that when I come in the house. He sure has taken quite a liking to you. I think he was ready to attack a stranger.”
“Well, the feeling is mutual. I’ve never had a pet before and now I think I’ve been missing out on something special.”
“I agree. Anyway, I called Manny on his cell and I also spoke to Doc since I had a few questions about one of the cats we’re boarding. But Stede seemed more interested in how you were and suggested that maybe you might like to get out of the house for a while and I thought we could go out later this afternoon if you’re feeling well enough, and we could go to dinner.”
For a moment Carolina fingered the stitches that were still visible and eyed the crutches that she wished she could toss along with her inhibitions. This was Saturday and people would be more likely out and about and she didn’t particularly want to be seen at her worst.
Then, again, whom was she trying to impress? This wasn’t a matter of hiding signs of Carl’s abuse. Even if she ran into him unexpectedly, he’d certainly seen her looking a lot worse, and she doubted he’d even recognize her. She stopped fingering the stitches, looked again at Jenny and with a smile answered, “If you let me treat.”
“All right, if you insist—” Jenny chuckled. “—although Stede wanted to treat. There’s a nice mom-and-pop Italian restaurant, not too far. Nothing fancy but the food is good and the place is clean. You can’t beat the view, either,” she said placing the mail on the countertop.
“The restaurant sits up on top of a mountain. If we eat on the deck, we can watch the sunset. The mountains change hues every few minutes with kaleidoscopic patterns of purple, orange, yellow, pink and blue. A spectacular show from Mother Nature.”
“Sounds perfect.”
****
On the way to dinner, as they drove past the old trailer park, Jenny asked, “Was there another reason why you stopped here the other day? I know you told Stede you wanted to stretch your legs, but this place is in the middle of nowhere.”
Carolina wasn’t exactly surprised at the question. She’d have been curious, too. She turned sideways and patted King, whose face peeked over from the back seat between her and Jenny. She took a moment wondering how to respond.
“You’ve all been very kind and caring, Jenny, and I know I should give you an explanation. I owe you that much, but I hardly know what to say other than I can assure you that the reason for my being here has nothing to do with any of you.”
“Look,” Jenny said, “if telling me violates your relationship with a client, and you like to keep the information private, then don’t worry. Everyone loves a mystery.”
Carolina laughed. “I suppose.” If Jenny assumed her search was about one of her client’s relatives, then that would have to do for now. She looked fo
r a way to change the subject.
“You’re right; driving through the mountain roads gives you quite a panoramic presentation of beauty.”
“Ever been to Arizona before?” Jenny asked, somewhere between a question and a statement, giving her a quick inquisitive look.
“A long time ago, when I was a young girl,” she commented, careful not to give away more than she intended.
“I mentioned to Doc about all the traveling you do with your job, and that’s when he thought maybe you’d like to get out of the house a little bit before you got cabin fever.”
“He’s right. Being out of the house feels great, although I can’t imagine anyone feeling bad about being in his beautiful home. I’ve never been in a shower that was like bathing in a waterfall.”
“Stede comes from big Texas oil money, honey, and as you can see, he has expensive tastes.”
“I’m surprised he built this huge home for himself. I’d have thought he’d have a family.”
“They build everything big in Texas. And, as far as I know, he’s never been married. I know he was engaged at one time, but he wasn’t married or engaged when we met him, and he’s remained single. Did he tell you Manny and I are planning to build a large log cabin on the property by the creek?”
“No, but a log cabin would be unique. I’ve always wanted to go inside of one. The homes they feature on the cable networks are all amazingly breathtaking.”
“That’s what got us interested. When we get back, I’ll show you the plans if you’d like.”
“Yes, I’d love to see them.”
“That’s why we’re trying to find the owner of that trailer. We need him to remove his property off the lot. We purchased the other two trailers that were abandoned and will have them hauled away soon. You’re good at finding people. Think you can find the owner of the trailer?”
Carolina looked at her wide-eyed.
“If it makes a difference, Stede suggested that I ask you.”
“Stede called me earlier, too, to check on me and said he was in the final competition tomorrow,” Carolina said, changing the subject without answering the question.
“Yes. He’s accumulated a lot of individual points this year towards becoming the all-around champion. He and Manny, along with Stede’s brother are also competing for the team bronc-riding championship. Manny and Stede will be pulling in sometime on Tuesday. Maybe we can have a cookout and eat on the deck.”
“Sounds good to me, but I thought maybe I should leave before they got back.”
“No, please wait until the men return. You need to have your ankle looked at before you start to drive and Stede should probably take out the stitches.”
In truth, Jenny didn’t have to do a lot of convincing for her to agree to remain an extra day, although she felt confident that she could drive back to Phoenix. Jenny could have easily taken out the stitches herself, but Carolina had become all too comfortable in the big house on the hill to make the suggestion.
She was reluctant to leave, but had no strong excuse to remain in Stede’s home longer than Wednesday unless, of course, he hired her to find Carl. Wouldn’t that be strange?
She couldn’t believe that she began to feel a connection to this part of the country. Something she had never experienced the entire time she lived there.
During her years at college she studied about Native Americans and researched some of the areas in Arizona. People from all over the world came to visit the Grand Canyon and Sedona, simply to bond to the earth and this land many believed had mystical allure.
Carolina planned on sitting on the porch in the evenings with Jenny to watch the sunsets and the mountains bathed in moonlight. There was no doubt the land was metaphysical and enchanting. She took deep breaths of the desert air in the hopes of being able to bring the memory of its mixture of aromas back east when she left.
A feeling of sadness came over Carolina thinking about the beauty she had missed because all she had seen during the eighteen years she lived there was that trailer, the creek, that only had water during monsoon season, hard work and the end of Carl’s leather belt. What a waste…
And yet, she remembered struggling to remain happy and always trying to smile and be friendly to everyone she knew. By coming this far in her quest to find Carl and reconcile with him by offering her forgiveness, she began to see things differently. She began to appreciate the surroundings and enjoyed her budding relationship with Jenny. And maybe one day, Carolina Palmer would wonder whatever happened to Mary Fox, or would that be the other way around?
****
By the time Tuesday rolled around, Carolina was well immersed in life in the house on top of the hill, as she privately referred to Stede’s home. Even Jenny had remarked that she must be a hundred percent better because she looked like a new person. Happy and energetic, was how she described her.
Carolina realized that Jenny had no idea what her old self looked like, but she was faced with the reality that she had no true recollection of that person either. She recalled the daydreams of a little girl who longed to live in a castle and who truly believed there were knights in shining armor ready to rescue her.
But, the reality was that Ivanhoe hadn’t existed in her world. She’d finally realized that if her situation were going to change she was the one who would have to make the difference.
And she had. In order to survive, Proud Mary threw off the old and embraced the new. A new name, a new address, a new job, and a new life. She worked her way through college and became a successful woman able to support herself.
And, when she discovered that was not enough to release her from the chains of her past that still bound her, the survivor in her, the old Mary had done what she needed to do. She achieved the unthinkable and came back to the source of all the heartache, only this time on her terms. She’d be in charge, not Carl.
She found the changes in herself difficult to sort out at times and wasn’t quite sure she was prepared to accept all of them, but she was definitely willing to give her new self a chance.
While Jenny kept occupied at the hospital taking care of the animals by releasing and admitting pets and attending to their wounds and the paper work, Carolina did her best to straighten up Stede’s bedroom that she had to admit she had left in turmoil. The crutches needed to be thrown into the fireplace. They had become a nuisance.
By the time Jenny broke for lunch, Carolina had managed to put the master bedroom in order. She showered, washed her hair and put on a pair of slacks and a knit shirt.
She also managed to do her laundry; straightened up the great room, except for the research books and papers she had piled up on the sofa; and was seated in the kitchen ready to help Jenny prepare for their celebration dinner.
Jenny brought Carolina all the ingredients she’d need to make a salad, and after she was done she covered the glass bowl in plastic wrap for Jenny to place in the refrigerator. Carolina washed and wrapped the potatoes in aluminum foil for the grill and set them aside, and she sliced and buttered the bread before wrapping the loaf in foil to put in the oven later.
Jenny swept off the porch and cleaned all the sand off the furniture and set the table outside with place mats, napkins and silverware. The steaks were marinating and Carolina cleaned the fresh strawberries for Jenny to also place in the fridge. Everything was ready when Jenny and Carolina sat in the cushioned Adirondack chairs and chatted while they waited for the men to arrive.
For Carolina, the afternoon whizzed by. Although she and Jenny still were mere acquaintances, she felt their relationship beginning to grow into a true friendship. This unexpected delay in her schedule made her realize how lonely she had been most of her life.
Her insides began to feel jittery, thinking that Stede would be home soon. When she noticed the sun begin to set, she began to doubt the men would be home in time to celebrate. But as that thought passed through her mind, King sat up and began to bark. At almost the same time she heard the noise of the truck a
nd saw the trailer pulling into the hospital driveway. King heard them first.
And the moment she saw Stede spring out of the truck, her breath quickened and she felt her heart flutter.
“I’ll be right back,” Jenny said, rushing down the hill behind King to meet Manny.
For a moment, Carolina thought Jenny would knock Manny to the ground when she flew into his arms. But he hefted her up, swung her around and kissed her at the same time.
Carolina felt like an intruder and wished she hadn’t been sitting on the porch in plain sight. She watched King and Stede reunite and smiled. Then in long easy strides, Stede made his way toward the house and stopped halfway, resting one foot on the next to top step, looking at her; eye to eye.
He tipped back his Stetson, grabbed her chin and whistled long and low, tilting her head to get a better look at her stitches in the dwindling light. “Boy do you heal fast,” he said, as he flashed a two-sided smile with dimples, as though he had missed her while he was away.
“You look well. How are you feeling?” he asked, as his deep voice strummed the night air.
Carolina felt her face redden and she couldn’t control her smile in return. “Rested, but enough about me. Did you have a good trip?”
“A great trip. Won the championship,” he said backing down a step and pointing to his shiny new belt buckle which substantiated his skills.
A familiar quiver of fear ran down her spine at the mere mention of a belt, and she tightened her ribcage so he wouldn’t detect her reaction to his championship buckle that, wielded in Carl’s hands, might have left her permanently scarred. Instead, she forced an admiring smile and returned her focus on him. To this day, she never wore a belt.
“But I always enjoy coming home and this time was special because I knew a beautiful lady awaited my return.”
Her smile suddenly shy, she felt her cheeks flame with color as she studied him with surprise. The notion that he enjoyed coming home and all the more because she was there, as casual an acquaintance as she was, challenged every negative thought she had ever had about love ’em and leave ’em roving cowboys. She wondered if he privately yearned for family life, too, but roamed because he didn’t trust commitment either.
Proud Mary Page 3
