“You don’t have to talk about what happened to her, Mary. Or would you prefer that I call you Carolina?”
She rounded on him sharply. “Mary Fox no longer exists.”
Ashamed at her outburst, she realized that Mary Fox did exist in part or Carolina Palmer wouldn’t be overreacting. “I’m sorry,” she said, almost immediately.
“Given your memories, I admire you and think you were brave to come back here.”
“Brave or stupid, I don’t know which, but you’ve been very kind, considering you weren’t too keen on my staying that first day.”
He chuckled. “You’re right. You were a nuisance and you disrupted my evening plans. And, I might add, you were very demanding.”
“Was not.”
“Were, too. But then I knew what my mother would say about southern hospitality and Jenny had given me a look that told me I was headed for trouble if I let you stay at the motel in town. Would you feel better if you knew that I’m glad you stayed?”
“Yes, me too,” she said, sliding her hand away.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you while I was gone.”
“You’re making me blush, but I thought about you a lot, too.”
“Ever been married?” He asked.
Surprised, she responded, “No, have you?”
“Nope. Came close once or twice, but I love my freedom too much, I guess.”
“Maybe you hadn’t met the right woman yet, at least not in Texas. Is that why you moved to Arizona?”
Stede moved his head to one side and shrugged. “Partially, but not because I wanted to meet the right woman. I left, not only because my grandmother gifted me this land, and I thought she could use some family nearby in her later years, but because of family pressures.”
“What kind of pressures?”
“My folks. My dad’s in the oil business and he and one of my parents’ friends had been hoping and planning for years for a wedding between their daughter and me. They planned my future right up until the engagement.”
They stopped at a traffic light and he turned and looked at her. “When I finished vet school I went home and there for a while I thought I’d do what was expected of me and I asked her to marry me.”
“What happened? Weren’t you in love with her?”
“Not really, beautiful as she is. We were too different. She wanted to live in a mansion surrounded by servants, and spend most of her time at the country club and the spa. She was the kind of person who loved to be on charity boards and give lavish dinner parties and travel, while her boardroom oilman husband made everything financially possible.
“Although I could provide all those things, I realized I wanted something very different than being tied to the dictates of society, ending up living on a workaholic schedule, and sponsoring one charity ball after another as I’d seen my parents do.”
“You object raising money for charities?” She was confused, having been the recipient of his generosity. Surely she must have misunderstood him. She helped support a shelter for battered women and believed in giving back to the community and his answer was important to her.
“No, not at all. But instead of spending money giving elaborate parties, I prefer to donate directly to the charity.”
“I agree that’s the best way to give, that and volunteering.”
“My mother flitted around from one fund-raiser event to another while my father kept immersed in business at the office and when he was home on weekends he spent his time on the ranch. I like to take off and go to rodeos, or drive up to Utah or Idaho, Montana or Wyoming and camp out or even stay at a ranch. And more than anything, I didn’t want to get up every day, put on a suit and tie and drive into Dallas, sitting in a high rise talking on the phone or attending boring meetings in order to please my folks, completely disregarding my medical degree.
“As much as I tried to please my parents and win their affection, I realized I didn’t want to marry the wrong woman and end up making us both miserable for the rest of our lives. And I did a terrible thing.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
“True. On the night of our engagement party, I broke off the engagement, packed my bags and headed west before the soiree had even ended. I feel bad about hurting her and I know there’s a strain between the families now, not to mention the one between me and my very disappointed parents.”
He shook his head. “Nonetheless, I still believe I made the right decision to remain single.”
For a man who told her earlier in the morning that he was into their relationship for the long haul, his words stung. This reconfirmed her leeriness of him being a cowboy at heart and confirmed her doubts about being able to recognize true love.
He enjoyed his freedom and wasn’t looking for a wife—homebody or socialite. He wasn’t the marrying kind; settling down with a wife and family would cramp his style. She wanted all the things he apparently didn’t. That revelation hurt but made the plan to leave Arizona easier now, before she fell for him any harder than she already had.
“Have you ever camped out in the middle of the desert?”
She smiled. “Now, do I look like I’ve ever done that?”
“No, I guess not,” he laughed. “Do you at least know how to do the Texas two-step?”
“Yeah, actually I do.”
“See, there’s something else we have in common. We like to cook and dance,” he said, pulling into a long driveway.
She gave him a rueful look, not seeing how their commonalities mattered when his wanderlust was bound to keep them from sharing things that mattered most to her.
“Wow is my grandmother going to be surprised.”
Carolina was excited and nervous and couldn’t wait to see Mrs. Dugan. As he took her hand and led her into the retirement home, she thought they could perhaps remain friends.
She’d never had a close friend before and the thought of having a male friend made her smile. At least he knew all her secrets and she’d never have to pretend when she was with him.
Chapter Seven
Once they were inside the lobby of the retirement home, Carolina took a seat in the waiting room and watched Stede as he asked the woman at the information desk to let his grandmother know he had arrived.
The receptionist and the staff members that crossed through the lobby from other corridors all smiled and spoke to him and called him by his first name, giving evidence that he was a frequent and welcome visitor.
“Your grandmother’s on her way,” the receptionist said, after buzzing Mrs. Dugan’s room. “You know how she loves to go out for lunch.”
“Yeah, and I haven’t been around much lately. She must feel neglected.”
“No, no,” she said, shaking her head. “She had everyone of us in the community room watching the rodeo over the weekend. She’s quite proud of you. And, she’s never been the least bit neglected.”
“Thanks,” he said. “Here she comes now.”
Carolina smiled and remained seated. She watched Stede greet his grandmother. Her heart raced with excitement at seeing Mrs. Dugan. She could hardly keep herself from sprinting out of the chair and hugging her.
“I brought a friend along to join us for lunch,” he said, winking at Carolina.
“You didn’t tell me you were dating anyone, Stede,” she said nudging him with her elbow.
He chuckled. “I’m not, Grams, well not yet anyway. I brought her along to see you.”
Carolina stood, holding her hand over her necklace, she said, “Hello, Mrs. Dugan.”
“Hello, dear. How nice of you to join us for lunch. Are you new here in Sage Canyon?”
Before Carolina could answer, Stede interrupted and asked, “Take a good look. Does she look at all familiar to you?”
Mrs. Dugan cocked her head from one side to another, frowned, and then said, “The only person I ever knew that had hair that color was the little towhead who lived in the trailer park.”
Taking a step closer for
a better look, she asked incredulously, “Mary? Mary Fox? Is that you?”
Tears immediately filled Carolina’s eyes and she attempted to smile through her emotions.
“Oh, Mary! You have no idea how happy I am to see you after all this time. Is this really you, dear?”
“Yes, Mrs. Dugan, I’m happy to say, thanks somewhat to you.”
Mrs. Dugan opened her arms to Carolina and the minute she hugged her, Carolina felt the warmth and acceptance that poured from this woman fill her heart once again.
Mrs. Dugan pulled away and held her at arm’s length. “Let me get a better look at you. You’re as beautiful as I imagined you’d be when you were all grown. Thank you, Stede, for bringing her. Where did you ever find her? This is going to be the best lunch ever. I want to hear all about your life,” she said, taking Carolina’s arm.
Both women sat together in the back seat of the SUV. Stede smiled when he looked in the rearview mirror and saw his grandmother reach for Carolina’s hand.
Although he was well aware Carolina had come from a broken home and that her mother had abandoned her and left her to live with her abusive father, he had never known any of the details before last night, nor did he believe his grandmother knew exactly how terrible her life was. He wondered if she had been sexually abused and that was why she withdrew when he got too close.
He listened carefully to Carolina tell his grandmother about how frightened traveling across country on the bus was after she left Arizona. Even though she knew Carl wouldn’t be home for hours, the fear of his finding out she was gone before she could meld into society far from home kept her on the edge of her seat and she remained careful not to sit by a window, in case he had the police out looking for her, checking through the windows of buses.
“When I stepped off the bus in Columbia, South Carolina, I had no idea what would become of my life. I hadn’t felt that frightened and forlorn since the night Lizzie left for Texas and I was left behind to face Carl’s wrath.” Carolina noticed Stede’s face cringe and his knuckles tighten around the steering wheel.
“Well, seems like you landed on your feet,” Mrs. Dugan said. “What happened next? I want to hear all about your venture.”
“I’m not sure I’d call my life a venture, but I made out all right. The humidity in South Carolina was thick at times and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to breathe, let alone live there at first. But the city, besides being beautiful, was populated enough for me to hide in without drawing attention to myself.
“Eventually I became acclimated to the weather. I had never seen a town that green and I fell in love with the palm trees that lined the streets and the beautiful Civil War homes that were steeped in history. Since I was about out of the money you generously gave me and already used some of my savings, I needed to keep some cash to live on until I found a job”—she shrugged—“and I decided I might as well stay there and give the city a try.”
Stede pulled into the driveway of a spa on top of a mesa and said, “Here we are, ladies. I took the scenic route to the resort so you’d have a chance to talk and we can enjoy a leisurely lunch.”
Carolina stopped talking long enough to take in her surroundings. “Your idea of dining out is certainly a far cry from where Carl took us. On those rare occasions when he was sober and felt generous. Lizzie and I appreciated your care packages more than you’ll ever know, Mrs. Dugan.”
“I had to be very cagey when I did, though,” Mrs. Dugan told Stede, “to make sure Carl didn’t catch on and think I was offering them charity.”
“Cagey? I’m learning about a side of you, I didn’t know existed,” he commented, smiling.
“Oh, yes, I was,” she replied emphatically.
“We were grateful and thrilled with whatever you sent us,” enthused Carolina. She reached for Mrs. Dugan’s hand and said, “I can never thank you for all you did for me, and I can never tell you how indebted I am to you for the money you gave me for my graduation. You probably saved my life.”
“Oh, dear, that’s not possible. But I know you deserved every penny.”
“If it weren’t for the money you gave me, I never would’ve been able to get that far away.”
“I’m just happy you were able to make good use of the money,” she said, taking Stede’s arm as he led them into the restaurant.
As soon as they had been served iced tea and placed their orders for lunch, Mrs. Dugan said, “Please continue and tell me what happened next.”
Stede grinned at his grandmother, “I’m delighted to see your enthusiasm and seeing your smiling face. I know you worried about Carolina for years. Where did you go once you arrived in Columbia, Carolina?”
“I wandered around and looked in the windows of the quaint little shops that lined the streets. Every store and home had window boxes profuse with fragrant flowers. With nothing else to do, I bought a newspaper and went into a neighborhood restaurant on the corner by the bus station.”
Carolina stirred the sugar in her tea and continued. “I found an ad in the paper for a furnished room/females only/student for rent. The waitress told me that the University of South Carolina was nearby and that the person who placed the ad probably liked having students rent out her rooms. She was nice enough to tell me how to get to that address.”
“Was the place nice?” Mrs. Dugan asked.
“Yes, but the house was not at all what I had expected.”
Putting down his glass, Stede asked, “What do you mean?”
“I didn’t expect the Taj Majal and would have settled for something a step up from the old motel in Sage where the rooms were two bucks a night.”
They laughed as the waitress served their lunch.
“Tell us what the place was like,” Stede urged.
“When I knocked on the door, I was overwhelmed, like Dorothy when she went to visit the wizard. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to afford the rent. But when the door opened and I met Mrs. Rose, I knew my life was about to change for the better.
“Mrs. Rose’s family had been searching for a companion for her because she was elderly and didn’t want to go into a nursing home. Her son would have taken her to live with him and his family, but they had five children and didn’t have enough room.”
“Is that where you’ve been all this time?” Mrs. Dugan asked.
“Except for the last two years. When Mrs. Rose passed away I moved to Washington, D.C.”
“I’m so sorry, dear.”
“What did you do once you got settled in South Carolina?”
“Mrs. Rose’s son recommended that I go to the courthouse the next day and change my name. I couldn’t think of anything else, and as I told Stede, I took the name Carolina for the state and Palmer because of the palm trees.”
“Well, that was very clever,” Mrs. Dugan said, smiling.
“Was this Mrs. Rose’s family good to you?” Stede asked.
“Yes. Her son worked in the administration offices at the university and he got me a job and convinced me to enroll in school and I got a degree in history and a minor in research.”
“What kind of work do you do, dear?”
“I help families trace their ancestors and put together their family trees.”
“That sounds quite interesting, Carolina,” Mrs. Dugan said. “I am both proud and happy to know that you have made out all right. I thought of you often. Seeing you again makes me very happy. Now tell me why you’ve come back to Arizona.”
Carolina let out a hitched sigh and stared at Stede for a moment. “I had this notion that I would come and face Carl and maybe come to some resolution concerning my past. I need to be free to go on with my life.”
“Have you seen him?”
“No. I don’t know where he is. He’s vacated the trailer.”
“Oh, I know where he is, Carolina. He’s in a nursing home not far from here. But if you choose to go see him, I think you should take Stede with you for safety’s sake.”
Carolina put down her fork,
looked at Stede, then back at Mrs. Dugan. Was that goal actually within reach? She didn’t know what to say. Mixed feelings welled inside her. Maybe she would have been better off if she had left for Washington earlier.
Mrs. Dugan took her hand and asked, “Do you remember the box I gave you that you kept in my barn?”
Carolina smiled. “Yes. Yes I do.”
“Well, I still have it. And you know what?”
Carolina looked puzzled. “No, what?”
“There’s something in it you need to see, probably before you visit Carl.”
“Finish your lunch and I’ll tell you in the car,” Mrs. Dugan said, placing her napkin on the table. “We’ve kept you talking and you haven’t had a chance to eat.”
Carolina couldn’t imagine what else she might learn today and hurried to finish, while Stede chatted with his grandmother and filled in the blanks about how they met.
The moment Stede started the car, Mrs. Dugan said, “I have to warn you, you’re going to be very happy and sad at the same time, dear.”
Stede looked at his grandmother in the rearview mirror and said, “Tell her what you have, she’s been through enough.”
“All right. The box is full of letters from your mother and Lizzie. I had no idea how to find you, Mary. I mean Carolina. I don’t know what you’ll find in those letters, but I hope there’s no sad news. Each time they wrote, I’d send a note back and tell them I hadn’t heard from you.”
Stunned, Carolina felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. Her hand flew to her forehead. Her mother and Lizzie had actually tried to contact her. “They wrote after I left home…” she managed.
“What kept them from writing all those years, before I ran away, I wonder?” She didn’t know whether to be elated or frightened, or whether she was about to faint or cry. With a distracted gesture as if to brush her hair from her face, she looked up and her gaze locked with Stede’s in the rearview mirror.
“Do you want me to stop the car, Carolina? Are you going to be all right?”
Proud Mary Page 6
