She gave me a small smile. “Not that I know of.”
I wanted to jump up and down, scream, and fist-pump, but I contained myself. Chloe wasn’t with anyone. She hadn’t forgotten about me.
“Thank you.”
I pulled myself back to the present as I threw open my door and walked across the street to her house. If I didn’t do this now, I never would. Before I chickened out, I pounded on the door. I waited a minute or two before knocking again. There were lights on inside, so I knew someone had to be home. If no one would answer, I planned on sitting in my car until someone opened the door.
Just as I was turning to walk away, the door flew open.
“Yes?” Chloe asked grumpily.
I turned to face her and froze for a second. She was as beautiful as I remembered. She had her hair tied back in a messy bun and was in old sweatpants and a simple shirt, but she still took my breath away. It had been like this from the beginning. There was just something about this woman.
“Hi, Chloe.” I gave her a small smile.
Her eyes widened in shock just before she slammed the door in my face. Well, that went as I’d expected, but I wasn’t about to give up that easily. The girl was going to talk to me whether she wanted to or not. I stepped forward and pushed the doorbell that I hadn’t noticed before.
I could hear someone shouting inside, and then it was absolutely quiet. Now, what the hell was I supposed to do? Should I stand on her porch all night and hope that she came out eventually?
My head snapped up as the front door opened again. Instead of seeing Chloe, Amber stepped outside and closed the door quietly.
“Well, if it isn’t Mr. Rock Star himself,” she growled.
It was safe to say that Amber wasn’t a fan of mine.
“Hi, Amber. How have you been?”
“Don’t even. Chloe hasn’t heard from you in months, and then you just show up on our doorstep with no warning! You are the biggest asshole on the planet, Drake Allen!”
“I know I am, okay? You have every right to be mad at me, but I need to talk to Chloe.”
“Why? What could you possibly have to say to her that will fix the past six months of her life? You destroyed her, Drake! Just when I thought she was doing better, you come back and fuck it up all over again. She’s trying to move on!”
“I don’t want her to move on, Amber. I love her, and I can’t stand the thought of her being with someone else.”
“Then, why didn’t you come back before now? You broke her, and Logan and I were left to pick up the pieces!”
“I couldn’t.” I ignored the jealousy I felt about Logan taking care of Chloe.
“Couldn’t? Or didn’t want to?” She glared at me.
“I couldn’t. I wanted to come after her, but I knew she’d never give me the time of day until I got my shit together.”
“And have you? Or are you still using?”
“I’m clean. I went into rehab and sobered up. I spent the last month making sure I could do it, and now, I’m back for what’s mine. I love her, Amber, and I can’t give up on us until I see her one last time. If she doesn’t want me anymore, then so be it, but I have to try.”
Amber looked at me. I knew she was trying to figure out if I was telling the truth. “You two were perfect together. I’ve never seen her as happy as she was with you.”
“Until I fucked it all up,” I said, ashamed to admit the truth.
“Until you fucked everything up. I’ve always liked you, Drake. Really, I have. But I don’t want to see her go through what she’s went through these last few months again.”
“I’ll never hurt her again. Please let me talk to her. I just want to explain everything. I want to spend the rest of my life with her.”
She raised an eyebrow. “You do realize that you’re a rock star now? At least, you’re almost one. You’ll have thousands of women throwing themselves at you. Do you really think you’ll be able to be faithful to Chloe?”
“I couldn’t care less about any other woman out there. Chloe is the only girl I’ve ever cared about.”
She sighed. “I’ll help you, but this doesn’t mean that I don’t think you’re an asshole. Because I do.”
I smiled. “I’ll make it up to you, too. I swear. I’m sure you’d like to see Adam sometime soon.”
Amber’s cheeks turned bright red, but she pretended not to be bothered by my mention of my band mate.
“I couldn’t care less about Adam. Now, come on, I’ll sneak you inside.”
She stepped back into the house, looked around, and then motioned for me to follow. She led me into the living room and pointed to a chair. “Sit there and be quiet. I’ll see if I can get Chloe to come out of her room.”
I watched as she turned and disappeared down the hallway. I heard her open a door and close it. Then, the house was eerily silent, and I strained my ears to hear anything else. After a few minutes, I finally gave up and slouched down into the chair. I was going to get my chance to talk to Chloe, and I didn’t want to mess it up. This was my one shot, my only shot, to prove to her that she mattered to me. No pressure or anything.
Finally, a door opened, and then I heard Amber and Chloe talking as they came down the hallway. This was it—now or never.
Amber and Chloe appeared a second later. Chloe didn’t even glance my way as she walked to the couch and sat down. Amber, on the other hand, stopped right in front of me, trying to block Chloe from seeing me.
“Thanks for being here for me, Amber. I don’t think I would have made it through these last few months without you,” Chloe said as she pressed the play button on the remote.
“Uh, no problem. Listen—” Amber started to say.
Chloe interrupted her. “I’m serious. We both know I was a fucking wreck, and you helped me get my shit together. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from all of this, it’s that men are total and complete dicks.”
“Well, see, Chloe—” Amber said, trying to get her to shut up.
“Take my word for it. Men are nothing but coldhearted bastards. Look at Drake. I loved him more than anything, and he just let me go. I hope he’s enjoying the good life out in Los Angeles without me. I hope he finds some nasty groupie who gives him every STD known to man.”
I was the biggest asshole in the world. I’d broken the heart of the only girl who I’d ever loved.
“Chloe, shut up!” Amber shouted.
“No, let her finish. I’m curious as to what else she has to say about me,” I said, unable to stay quiet.
Amber sighed and moved, so Chloe could see me. When she turned around to look at me, her mouth dropped open in shock.
“In my defense, I tried to warn you,” Amber said.
“I thought you said you got rid of him!” Chloe groaned.
“I said, I took care of it. There’s a difference.”
“Whatever. I’m done talking now. Both of you can go jump off a bridge.”
“No, keep talking. I’d love to hear what else you wish upon my poor dick. That kind of hurts, you know. I’m quite fond of that certain body part.” I smirked at her. I couldn’t help but tease her.
“I want him out, Amber. Now,” she growled.
“Just listen to him, please. If not for him, then do it for yourself. You deserve that much,” Amber pleaded.
I watched as Chloe looked back and forth between Amber and me. I could practically hear the wheels spinning in Chloe’s head. I just hoped that she would give me a chance to talk.
“You have five minutes. After that, I’m kicking you out,” she finally said.
“Works for me. I’m late for my party, so I’ll catch you two later.” Amber winked at Chloe.
I waited until Amber walked out the front door before I turned to face Chloe. “Did you really want me to catch a bunch of sexually transmitted diseases?”
“You’re wasting your five minutes. I’m waiting.” Chloe crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me.
I couldn’t h
elp but smile at Chloe’s stubbornness. It was one of my favorite things about her. I knew coming back here was a gamble, but I couldn’t stop myself. I had to know if she still wanted me.
“I’m not going to lie. I was hoping you would welcome me back with open arms.”
“Sorry to disappoint you. Why are you even here? Shouldn’t you be out, snorting cocaine and banging groupies? I figured you were living the typical rock-star life by now,” she snapped.
“Yeah, I guess I deserved that, didn’t I?” I asked.
She raised an eyebrow but said nothing as she waited for me to continue.
“And I assumed it would be obvious why I was here. I’ve missed you.”
“You’ve missed me? If you’ve missed me so much, why didn’t you call me even once over the past six months?”
“Because I couldn’t. After you left, things started to get worse, and I started using more. Then, Eric got the call about the label out in L.A. wanting us to come out and talk to them. My life went crazy from there.”
“I was waiting for Jade or one of the guys to call me and tell me you were dead from an overdose, Drake. All this time, I’ve secretly worried about you, and you couldn’t take two seconds out of your busy life to let me know you were okay. That’s bullshit.”
“At least that means you still care,” I mumbled, feeling like the biggest ass ever. I never wanted to stay away from Chloe, but I had wanted the drugs more than anything.
“I did care, not anymore though. I’ve seen you, so you can go away now.”
“Don’t you want to hear anything that I came here to say?”
“Not really, Drake. You ripped my heart out once already. I don’t need to go through that again.”
“I never meant to hurt you. Honest. You’re the most important thing in the world to me, but my judgment was clouded. I just miss you so much, and I know that I fucked-up.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say to that, Drake. I already made myself clear back on the bus. I don’t want anything to do with you while you’re on drugs. I can’t stop you from destroying your life, but I can still save mine,” she whispered as a tear slid down her cheek.
I wanted more than anything to wipe it away, but I knew she wouldn’t let me. That wall she used to keep people away was up, and this time it was up for me. I hated to think that I had hurt her to the point where she might never let me in again.
“I’m clean, Chloe. I have been for a couple of months now.”
“What? Why didn’t you try to reach me then? Is it because you finally figured out you could do better than me?”
“You know better than that, Chloe. I love you. Basically, the band and our manager threatened to fire me from the band if I didn’t get clean. I had already lost you, and they were the only things I had left that mattered. I checked myself into a two-month program, and I’ve been clean ever since.”
“So, let me get this straight. You cared enough about the band to go into rehab, but I wasn’t enough of a reason when I walked away from you?”
“No, it’s not like that, Chloe. I knew I was in trouble, and it was just the final straw. I wanted to stay in the band, and I wanted to win you back.”
“How do I even know you’re telling me the truth about all of this? And if it is true, that means you’ve been out of rehab for a month without contacting me.”
I knew she wouldn’t believe me, so I had come prepared with help from Dr. Peters. I stood as I reached into the inside pocket of my jacket, and I pulled a piece of paper out. “If you want proof, then here it is. As for why I’m just now showing up, I wanted to make sure I could handle the outside world without falling back into my old habits. I didn’t want to come back and tell you I was clean, only to disappoint you again.”
She stood up and came a few steps closer to me. She stopped when she was close enough to grab the paper out of my hand. I waited while she read what I hoped was my saving grace. It was my certificate of completion from the rehab center in Los Angeles.
“You really did it then?” She stared down at the paper in her hands.
“Yeah, I did. You were all I thought about while I was in there. I screwed up so bad with you, Chloe, and I want to make it right. I want to make us right.”
“It’s not that simple, Drake. You really hurt me. You let me walk off that bus without even trying to stop me. I’m glad that you got help, but I don’t think I can go through that again.”
“I’m so sorry for what I did, Chloe. I promise you that I will never do anything like that again.”
“How can you be sure, Drake? You’re just starting out in an industry that is full of drugs and sex. Can you really walk side by side with temptation on a daily basis and not give in? Drugs will be easy to get, and women will be lining up for you. It’ll be worse than when we were together. I can’t handle that kind of life. I won’t share you with them.”
“Then, come with me. Stay by my side every night so that you know you can trust me.”
“What?” Her eyes widened in shock.
“I said, come with me. That’s why I came back, Chloe. I want you back, and I want you by my side through all of this.”
“You can’t just walk back into my life and expect me to drop everything for you, Drake. Even if I did want to give us another chance, I have responsibilities here, like school and my part of the rent for this place.”
“So, stay here until you’re finished with school for the year. Then, you can take online classes and come on tour with us. Thanks to me, we’re still in the studio, recording tracks for our first album, and we will be there for a few months. We won’t start touring until several months from now.”
“This is insane, Drake!” she shouted.
“Please, Chloe. I love you. I want to spend every second of my life with you from now until the day I die. I can’t live without you,” I pleaded.
This had gone so much better in my head. While I knew she would be angry, I had hoped that I wouldn’t have to resort to groveling to get her to take me back. If I had to though, I would. I would rather die than spend one more day without her.
“I don’t want to get hurt again, Drake,” she whispered. “I can’t take it.”
I grabbed her and pulled her into my arms. She struggled at first, but I held on tight, refusing to let her go.
“I will never hurt you again, Chloe. Never. Let me prove it to you.”
I pressed my lips to hers and kissed her like I was dying, like it was the last kiss we would ever share because it might just be our last. When I let her go, she might slap me and then never speak to me again. If she did, I wanted to remember the feel of her lips against mine for the rest of my life.
Despite what she’d said, her body responded to me instantly. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed me back, showing me just how much she still wanted me. I groaned as her lips parted, and I slipped my tongue inside her mouth, flicking my tongue ring against her tongue in a way that I knew drove her crazy.
She moaned in response before quickly pulling away. “What are we doing?”
“I’m not sure what you were doing, but I was kissing the woman I love.”
“I love you, too, Drake, and I do want to be with you. There’s no way that I can deny that now, but if we do this again, we’re going to take it slow and start over. I don’t know how this is going to work with you being so far away though.”
A smile broke out across my face. If I had known a kiss was all it would take to change her mind, I would have done that first.
“We’ll figure it out. We always do.” I kissed her softly. “But I can’t agree to the taking-it-slow part.”
“Why not?” she asked, confused.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small box. “After I checked out of rehab, the first thing I did was stop at the jewelry store, and I picked this up.”
Her mouth dropped open as I lowered myself to one knee and opened the box to reveal a sparkling diamond ring.
“Oh my G
od,” she whispered.
Before I met Chloe, if someone told me I would be down on one knee, asking the woman I loved to marry me, I would have kicked that person’s ass. Before her, marriage had been nothing more than a trap that others fell into. I was too smart for that, or so I had thought.
“Chloe Marie Richards, I never thought I would ever be one of those dumbasses who loves a woman so much he wants to tie himself to her forever, but here I am, down on one knee, trying to think of something sweet and romantic to say. As you can tell, I’m failing miserably, so will you please put me out of my misery and say yes if I ask you to marry me?”
She laughed as I stared up at her.
“I don’t know. You’ll have to ask me to find out.”
“I thought I just did.”
“No, you asked me if I would say yes if you asked me to marry you. It’s not the same.”
I groaned. “You’re not going to make this easy on me, are you?”
“After the last six months? I think not. You’re lucky that I haven’t thrown you out yet.”
“Fine. Chloe, will you please marry me? I promise to love and cherish you forever and always, and I promise to give you lots of mind-blowing sex every day.”
“Even when we’re ninety and walking with canes?” she asked with a serious look on her face.
“Damn it, quit stalling! Will you marry me or not?”
“Well, since you asked me so nicely, I guess I have to now.” She laughed.
“That was a yes, right?”
“That was a yes.”
I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I had been holding as I pulled the ring from the box and slipped it onto her finger. “Thank God.”
“Aren’t you going to kiss me or something now? You’re not very good at this, you know.”
“I was getting to that part, smart-ass.” I stood back up and pulled her into my arms. “I can’t wait until you’re Mrs. Drake Allen. Hell, maybe even one day, we will have two-point-five children and live in a log cabin by a lake.”
She grinned. “I never understood that whole point-five thing, but I wouldn’t mind kids someday. I love you, Drake. I don’t think I could be any happier than I am right now.”
Tainted Page 9
