by Amy Brent
She was only six months and two weeks along! That hardly seemed like enough. After all, she was growing a whole baby in there! An entire mini-human being was inside of her and there was no way that thirty-eight weeks was a sufficient amount of time!
But that didn’t seem to matter to the baby, because they were eager to arrive. We didn’t even know their gender yet! While I had been ordering things online, we still had so much more to get. And I hadn’t baby proofed the house yet.
We weren’t ready!
Another groan sounded from Nicole and I told myself to get it together. I could panic later, on my own time. Right now, the whole world needed to be about her and the baby.
“So, it looks like we’re on good track for dilution, but I’d like to keep track of it, okay.” The doctor said, shaking me from my reverie. I had zoned out so hard that I almost didn’t comprehend how only thirty seconds had passed, but I rolled with it.
“I’m going to get to have a natural birth?” Nicole asked, sounding happy for the first time since I had found her in the bathroom.
“I don’t want to promise because life can sometimes be a little unpredictable, but if everything goes as it’s supposed to, then yes, a natural birth should be in your future.”
She let out a long breath and collapsed back while the doctor took off his gloves and tossed them in the trash.
“I want a check on her every half hour, and if this persists beyond three hours, then every fifteen minutes after that.”
“Yes, doctor.”
The man turned to me, gave a short nod, then exited, no doubt to help some other pregnant woman who was going to hopefully have one of the most magical days of her life.
Would I even be a good father? Sure, I liked to think so, after all, my parents were amazing and fully supportive, but that didn’t mean I was guaranteed to be. What if I screwed this kid up? What if they turned out to be a bully or a sociopath or a drug addict? Why hadn’t I prepared more for this?
“Did you hear that?” Nicole asked. “We’re going to be able to do this naturally.”
I startled, once again getting lost in my own thoughts. I needed to stop doing that. I wanted to be present for the birth of my son, not off in lala land.
“We are,” I said, rushing to her side and grabbing her hand in mind. She was covered in sweat and her hair was plastered down to her head, but to me she couldn’t look any more beautiful. “All you have to do is breathe through it.”
“Easy for you to say, you’re not the one pushing them out.”
I laughed at that, but it was a much more frantic sound than I had hoped. “That’s true. But I’m here for you, whatever you need.”
“Any chance you could give me a better drug resistance, so I wouldn’t have to go without for this whole very painful process?”
Another dry chuckle from me. I knew from our planning stage after her first trip in the hospital that Nicole was extremely susceptible to any sort of narcotic. Even half doses would leave her unconscious and confused for hours. It was unfortunate, but she didn’t want to risk being remotely dopey for when her baby came into the world.
Our baby.
It was so insane to think that. Soon, I was going to have a child in the world. Me. The billionaire bachelor who had one-night stands in Vegas and got drunkenly married at some speed chapel. Unless something went horribly wrong, but I wasn’t going to allow myself to entertain those kinds of thoughts.
“Sorry, I don’t have that either.”
“I know,” she sighed, sinking back onto her pillows. I guessed that her most recent round of contractions was over, and she was going to get a few minutes to rest. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like once she went into active labor instead of the pre-labor she was in now. “And you know what?”
“No, what?” I said, using my free hand to give her water again.
“Although I’m in a lot of pain, and that pain is probably going to get worse. And even though I’m covered in sweat and about to have my vagina mangled by an interloper that’s half your DNA, I’m happy I met you.”
Wow, I couldn’t think of a kinder thing that she could have said. “I’m glad I met you too,” I said, pressing a single kiss to her damp forehead. “I wouldn’t give it up for anything.”
“Really?” she asked skeptically. “Even with the running away, disappearing for three months, pawning your ring, and needing you to foot the bill just for me to get a place?”
“Yes, even with all of that.”
“Man,” she said, poking my nose. “You need better friends.”
“Maybe I do. But I’ve got you now, don’t I?”
“Yeah, you do. You’re officially the best ex-husband anyone could ask for.”
“Future ex-husband,” I corrected.
“Right, future ex-husband.” She looked like she was going to say something, but a wave of pain cut her off.
“Again already?” I asked.
She nodded, breathing hard. I knew from the past two that she her ability to talk waned as the contractions went on, so she wasn’t going to be much conversation for a bit.
So, I just held on, helping her ride through the pain however she could, whether that be with damp cloths to the forehead or swigs of water, or even just rubbing her shoulders and hands. It was tense, but we made it through that one. And the next one. And the next.
It didn’t escape me that they were coming closer and closer together. I couldn’t remember how claustrophobic they had to be before it was considered show time, but I was guessing we were there yet.
The nurses came in as they should, and the first two times Nicole and I would ask them if there had been any progress, but they told us that she hadn’t dilated much more so after that we stopped inquiring. We figured if there was news, they would tell us. For the time we were just along for the ride.
“James, can you help me sit up?” Nicole asked after two full hours of sweating, panting and generally being in terrible pain.
“Of course,” I answered, standing up and trying to stack pillows behind her. But as much as I piled them up, they seemed to slide to the side or fall off the bed. After a good ten minutes of struggle, I finally gave up.
Kicking my shoes off, I slid into bed behind her, pulling her back to rest against my chest. Her entire hospital grown was soaked through with sweat and I worried about her leaking out all of her electrolytes.
Oh right, she had the IV in her arm. Of course, the hospital was going to take care of her needs. That’s why we were here after all.
But as the contractions grew worse and worse and worse, it was easy to feel like we were all alone. Just the two of us in a very scary sea where our boat was going to capsize at any moment.
The nurses came in again, bending down to check on how Nicole was doing. This time we both could tell by her expression that something was different.
“It’s time?” Nicole asked, her head perking up from my chest.
“It’s time,” she said, nodding excitedly. “You get ready, I’ll go call the doctor!”
“Yeah, I’ll get ready,” Nicole countered. “As soon as you tell me what that entails.”
But she was already gone, leaving the two of us with the revelation that soon everything we had been preparing for would be coming to a head.
Literally.
Chapter Thirty-Six
~Nicole~
When the nurse’s head had first popped up and she said it was time, I didn’t believe her. How could it be time? I didn’t feel any different. There was no epiphany that my child was going to come out or that a small hole within my body had expanded ten times of its normal size.
But then another contraction hit me and suddenly I knew in every cell of my body that it was time.
“Oh God, James!”
“I’m here, I’m here!” He said, wrapping his arms around me. “What’s wrong?”
“I think the baby’s finally coming.”
“Yeah, I kinda put that together when the
nurse ran out of here saying that it was time.”
“Oh yeah, you’re hilarious,” I shot back, in too much pain to enjoy his humor. “What I mean is that it finally feels like the baby is coming.”
“What, and all the cramping and groaning before was just a normal Thursday for you?”
“I know that you think you’re clever, but when I get out of this bed, I will show you how exactly un-clever you are.”
“Oh, will you now?”
“Yeah, I will.”
He was distracting me, that much I knew, but I was grateful for it. Anything to get my mind off of the ripping that was going through my lower half.
I heard rapid footsteps, then the doctor and nurses were coming in.
“Hello there, Miss Nicole, I hear that you’re fully dilated and ready to go!”
“Yes!” I cried. “Just get it out of me!”
“It? Now that’s not a great thing to call your future child.”
Who the hell did this doctor think he was? Sure, I was grateful for him being so cautious with my health up until this point, I wasn’t appreciative of his poking. “Save the lecture for someone who can handle pain medicine.” I snapped.
“Ah yes, I remember that now. Extreme susceptibility to narcotics. Bummer for you right?”
“Yeah, bummer.”
My temper was spiking and if I wasn’t so locked in pain, I might have gotten up and kicked him in the head. Hell, if my feet weren’t tucked up under me, I would have kicked him right then and there, especially since he was in the perfect position right between my legs.
But when the contractions finally wore off, my anger settled. Suddenly I was too warm, too cramped, and I needed to move. “I have to get up,” I said, pushing against James’ chest.
“Wait, what?” he sputtered, no doubt surprised. I didn’t blame the man. He’d been kind enough to slide in behind me to prop me up, and now I already wanted to move.
“Actually, for many women using gravity as a birthing aid is very helpful.” The doctor said. “If you want to get up, then let’s get you up.”
He nodded to the nurses and suddenly they were flanking me. I had read so many horror stories about doctors or nurses not listening to patients that I was incredibly grateful. Well, the back of my mind was grateful. The front of my mind was just concentrating on getting the baby out.
The world sort of devolved into hazy flashes of pain, sweat and delusion. Time went wonky, people’s face grew fuzzy, and I was starting to shake as I walked back and forth around the room, never more than a foot away from someone who was willing to catch me if I fell.
But I didn’t fall. I kept moving, only stopping when the contractions grew so intense that I had to hold onto the bedframe.
My mouth was dry, but I couldn’t stop to drink. And I felt like I had to go to the bathroom, but the nurses kept telling me that I was just feeling the baby coming down the birthing channel and that I needed to keep pushing.
As if pushing a literal child out of my hoohaa wasn’t enough, I remember reading that sometimes women pooped right there on the birthing table or on the floor. I hadn’t lost control of my bladder since I was a small child, and I wasn’t sure that I was ready to break that streak yet.
“You’re doing great,” the doctor said, checking my vitals manually even through they were on the machine I was attached to. “But just so you know, it’s about to get a little worse.”
“Worse?” I cried, holding onto the bed for dear life. “How can it get-”
Oh.
Oh no.
The wave of pressure and pain went lower, and my legs went out from under me. Suddenly the agony went from a seven to and eleven and I was screaming.
“There we go,” the doctor said, somehow managing not to sound condescending. “Nurse, if you don’t mind kneeling down and checking for me, I think you’ll be able to feel the baby’s head coming down.”
As if it was perfectly natural, the woman got down on the floor and reached up into my hospital gown.
An uncomfortable probe later, and I heard a cry of triumph. “They’re almost crowning!”
Holy crap! Crowning? Crowning! I knew what that meant. The baby was almost here. I just had to hold on and tough it out, then soon I would be able to hold the little person that I had been waiting to meet for over half a year.
I could do it. I just had to survive. And that was what I was; a survivor. I would get through this and arrive on the other side with the most important person in the entire world.
I just needed to control my breathing. If I calmed down and counte-
“Ah! James!” Another wave of pain stabbed through me and my throat was becoming raw from the sheer force of my cry. But it was just one of many. Soon the entire universe was condensed down to what was happening to me.
I couldn’t do it.
I could do it.
I was going to die. The pain was going to swallow me whole.
The pain was fine, and I would get through it.
James was constantly trying to help me, rubbing my back or wiping my forehead, or whispering encouragements. The nurses and doctors existed too, but they didn’t register with their constant reminder to breathe and stay calm.
I squeezed hands, I squeezed the bars of the bed. I squeezed my stomach muscles so hard I thought I would pass out. Then, suddenly, in a thunderous explosion of lowered body violence, they were pulling something from me and everyone was yelling.
I stood there, shaking, wondering what the hell was happening, when I heard a smack and then the distinct sound of a baby’s cry.
“Is that my child?” I screeched, wiping the sweat away from my eyes. “Is that my baby! Give me my baby!”
“Just one second.” Abruptly the doctor was in front of me, holding my hands like we were that close. Then again, this guy had literally just seen all sorts of angles of my vagina. If that wasn’t a way to bond, I didn’t know what was. “We just need you to expel the afterbirth and then they’re all yours, okay? They’re just going to do the APGAR test while I take care of you, okay?”
“But my baby…” There were tears in my eyes and my voice was cracking but I couldn’t help it. I needed my child, right there and then. But I also knew that what the doctor was saying made sense, and that I needed to get the placenta and all of that other stuff out of me.
So, I focused. I put all of my attention in concentrating on the doctor’s words until I heard more gross noises and then I was finally being lead to my bed.
I sat down, looking blearily up into the face of James. God, he was handsome. I was so lucky to have him in my life. I was going to be terribly upset when we divorced, and he disappeared from my life forever.
A cry sounded behind him and then he was stepping aside so a bundle could be handed to me. I stared, wide eyed and in shock, not really comprehending what it was until the unmistakable warm form of an itty-bitty baby was placed in my arms.
“Congratulations, Miss Arden. You have a beautiful daughter.”
Then it happened, I was hit with that potent mix of chemicals that the internet had told me about. Happiness, euphoria, love, affection. None of those words seemed like enough, however. But what I did know was that nothing in the entire world mattered more than the sweet child inside of my arms.
“Oh my God, James,” I whispered. “We have a little girl.”
“We do,” he said, looking down at me with an expression that I couldn’t describe. We exchanged glances and then the tears were coming in earnest. I sobbed, happier than I had been in my entire life.
I had never thought it possible, but I had everything I could ever need right in my arms.
And her name was Kireina.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
~James~
Nicole having long since fallen asleep, I held my child with a reverence that I had never felt before. She was so perfect, in every way, shape and form that was possible.
I mean, logically I knew that she was a preemie so she was on th
e smaller side, but that didn’t seem to matter to the rest of my mind. I only saw her soulful almond eyes, and her tiny crop of wispy hair on top of her rounded little head. I saw her impossibly small hands and her little chubby feet and my heart about melted into mush.
I knew without a doubt that my entire world was different now. All the things I loved before, the partying, the jet-setting lifestyle, none of them were important anymore. The only thing that mattered was little Kireina and Nicole.
I looked over to the amazing woman who was passed out in her hospital bed. It had been awful to watch her push herself to the absolute edge to bring our daughter into the world, but I knew that it would be worth it.
And I was right.
I knew it from the moment that the nurse pulled that precious baby from Nicole and rushed it over to one of the small tables at the edge of the room. Even before I heard the slap of her behind and her first cry in the world. And although it was probably shrill to some, to me it was the sweetest sound that I had ever heard.
Now she was here in my arms, and I finally understood, down to the core of my being, why Nicole had done what she had done. If there was ever the most remote chance that anyone could steal this beautiful, perfect baby away from me, I would run as far away from them as physically possible.
