by Tijan
shocked at the turn of events, I stood to grab my bag and headed to one of the higher floors. I wandered around, studying all the bedrooms, and settled on one in a back corner. It had its own bathroom and windows on both sides. The bed was a king size on top of a sturdy wooden base and headboard. It was a simple bedroom with quilts to make it look homey for the human eye, but warm for the demonic body, especially on colder nights. I knew Kellan would appreciate the quilts, but then I remembered the entire house was given to him. Of course, he’d appreciate them; they were probably put there just for him.
I looked through my bag, saw two changes of clothes, and then started poking in the closets. After finding clothes upon clothes, in my size and his, I wasn’t sure why Kellan had even bothered to pack bags. However, I was glad he’d thought to pack a book. At least, I could read something if I got really bored.
Checking my phone, I saw that he’d been gone for an hour. I figured that he’d be back soon so I headed into the shower. Afterwards, I dressed in some clothes from the closet, a comfortable pair of black running pants and a loose gray top. Heading back down, I started poking around for a liquor cabinet. There had to be one. Kellan wasn’t much for drinking, but I knew he enjoyed some on occasion. It seemed the appropriate thing to do in our first night at the sanctuary.
I pulled out a bottle of wine. With two large glasses in hand, I turned for the kitchen for a bottle opener, but as soon as my foot took one step forward, the house started to shake. At first it was the floors, then the walls, then the roof. Everything was shaking. Furniture started to glide across the floor, moved by the waves of shaking. I dropped the bottle and glasses onto a couch and then I stopped feeling the movements. My eyes caught sight of a chandelier in the foyer, saw that it was still shaking, and then I looked down. I wasn’t shaking because I was floating in the air; much how I had been the night I’d turned Matt into a zombie. Just like then, I started to fall, but I caught myself. My eyes shut, and I concentrated in my mind. Stay! I barked at myself, but I started falling again slowly.
“Stop thinking, and it will happen.”
The voice wasn’t Kellan’s, and my eyes snapped open to see an elderly woman in the corner. Her hair was silver, pulled over her shoulders to rest below her ribcage. She was dressed in a black cloak with white trim. Both of her arms were folded over each other, and the white trim moved when she opened her arms to me. “Child, you radiate the same ferocity of your father.”
I landed on my feet, but jumped to a far corner. “Who are you?”
She smiled again, gently, but with a rueful look in her eyes. “I am your aunt, your mother’s sister.”
“My—what?”
“I know.” She glided forward smoothly and smiled to herself, as if remembering fond memories. “You were told that your mother was a human in love with a demon, but she wasn’t. Your real mother was a Nephilim, such as yourself, a hybrid of human and messenger. However, your mother’s body wasn’t strong enough to hold you. So they put you in that human’s body. Her body had been strengthened from years of loving her demon. He had carved her out and enforced the inside of her with demonic power. None of it touched you. We made sure of it, but you were special. You were supposed to be born so we put you in there, hiding you from your father also.” She sighed. “It made me happy, just getting you away from your father.”
My knees gave out, and I fell to the stairs where I had been hovering over. “Wha—huh?”
She laughed then, and the sound reverberated deep within me. It was a rich sound, strong, and I felt the ancestry go into me. It went deep and took root. In that moment, I felt her in me, that we were a part of each other. Her memories rushed through me at a rapid pace. Flashes of her as a young girl, with blonde hair, came to me. They were quickly followed by images of her with another younger woman, whose green eyes turned and looked at me. I gasped, flailing backward, when I felt the other woman see me. They were memories, but it was as if she really could see me.
“She can see you. That’s your mother, your true mother.” My aunt had moved to sit beside me. She watched me, concerned, and touched my hand with hers. It was a warm touch, but more of her rushed into me. The physical contact seared everything else, sealing the contact, and something woke inside of me. The messenger woke, feeling her family’s blood near. She railed against me, on the inside, wanting to get out.
“No—oh my God—no,” I gasped, lunging forward. She was so strong, trying to break free. I couldn’t hold her back, and I felt my body lurch into the air, arching backward. A light came out of me. It shone from my eyes, my nose, my mouth, even my ears. My fingertips were like flashlights, shining outward.
“Let her come. She needs to see me. She will calm down after this. I promise you,” my aunt whispered, touching my throat tenderly.
I watched her, nearly helpless now, from the corner of my eye. My head had turned to the side, and a tear slid down to the corner of my eyelid. It held onto my eyelash before it slipped and fell to the floor. My aunt caught it in the palm of her hand and moved it to the tip of her finger before she lifted it back to me. As she placed it back on my eye, she murmured with a soft smile, “You shouldn’t cry about this, not this tear anyway. This is a good thing. It will always be a good thing.”
The tear moved back into my eye, and it was the last straw. The messenger doubled her fervor, and I swallowed, closing my eyes, when I felt my insides tear once more.
KELLAN
Kellan watched through a window in the north corner of the house. He was perched on a tree limb, and it moved close so he could better see. The house moved, too, giving him the best view of what was happening in the foyer of his sanctuary.
The connection between him and Shay had started pulsating moments before, and then it rattled with such force, so much power, that he knew what had happened when he’d been gone. The messenger had come, knowing he was away. He wasn’t surprised. He’d expected it, but he hadn’t expected to feel Shay’s fear as if it were his own. It terrified her, consumed her so much, that he was tempted to enter to help calm her. However, his presence, one of a demon, would potentially enrage the messenger, even the one inside of Shay. It was stronger being near another of her own, especially one of her family.
When the messenger broke free once more, he felt Shay snap to him. She came across the invisible connection and rested next to him, as if perched on the tree beside him. Her body was still inside with the messenger in control, but Shay was with him, watching, too. They both held their breaths when the messenger rushed to the elder messenger. Their arms wrapped around the other, holding on tightly. Both had tears streaming down with smiles of relief on their faces.
It was a touching moment, of long lost relatives being reunited. Kellan watched, feeling disconnected from the emotional welcoming back. His connection was beside him, not in that body, so it was as if he watched mere strangers. A part of him felt as if he shouldn’t be so close to his enemy, but he knew Shay would return. Then everything in him would become alarmed again, doubling in its ferocity, because the messenger had broken free once more, threatening Shay’s hold over her. It threatened their own connection too because if he lost Shay, then he lost everything. But, he knew the messenger needed to be consoled by her own blood. And he was hoping that Aumae would remember her end of the bargain. He brought Shay to her, and she in turn would soothe the messenger, tell her that everything would be fine if she would trust her human counterpart. Shay’s aunt was supposed to make the messenger more compliant with them, not against him as much.
He swallowed tightly, hoping his gamble would pay off. If Aumae went back on her word, taking her niece with her and forgetting the human part of Shay behind, then he would have a different war on his hands. This one would get bloody, whereas he hoped the other one still wouldn’t, with Vespar being the exception.
After a few tense moments, watching how Aumae bent her head, hugging her niece, and whispered into her ear, Kellan wasn’t sure how much longer he could
hold himself back. He wanted to break in, force the messenger to allow Shay back in, or force Shay to take over again. He remained and then, after what seemed like an hour, Aumae lifted her head with tears in her eyes and looked up at him. She smiled and whispered the words that floated up to him, “Thank you. Thank you for giving me this time with her. She will help you. I promise you this.”
As the last word was spoken, Shay was yanked back from beside him. She sailed down and into her body, where it collapsed to the ground. Kellan lithely jumped to the ground in one leap and entered through the front door. He stepped inside and saw that Aumae had moved Shay’s body, now sleeping, to the couch. She sat beside her and smoothed her hair back, brushing it with her fingers.
He stopped in the living room’s doorway, just watching the tender movement. “Shay already loves you. I can feel it.”
Aumae bent her head, closing her eyes. Her shoulders started to shake, and he heard the sounds of crying coming from her. Sobs then started to wrack her body, and she crumbled, throwing herself over Shay. He turned, knowing his gamble had paid off. The elder messenger would help them and she had persuaded the one inside of Shay to help as well. Because of it, Shay would be strong, even more powerful than he knew. And so would he. The two of them could withstand her father’s arrival now.
When I woke, I found myself on the bed of the room that I had chosen earlier. A blanket had been placed over me, but it wasn’t needed. I was hot, really hot. In fact, I was burning up. Then I heard voices below me. They were soft, as if whispering, but I knew they weren’t. It was Kellan and my aunt in the kitchen. Then, with a gasp, everything rushed at me again. The voices went from soft to loud, too loud. I clamped my hands over my ears and burrowed underneath the pillows, but it did nothing to soften their volume. It was nearly painful now. But that wasn’t the only problem.
I saw everything in perfect detail as if I held up a microscope to my eye. My blanket went from looking like a normal blanket, one that I would admire the colors and textures, to the particles that made up the individual threads. I saw it all, even the dust that rested on each tiny particle. And the smells—I pressed my nose to my pillow, trying to stop from smelling so much, from the dew that still lingered from the morning to the night owls that rested miles away in a tree.
My stomach twisted over, threatening to spill out from all the smells. My entire body was on fire, protesting from all the information that I was taking in. I could feel Kellan’s heartbeat, how it pounded at a regular slow pace and then picked up, sensing that I had woken. Their footsteps pounded like ten herds of elephants, and soon I felt Kellan’s hands on my shoulders.
He lifted me up and held me against his chest, but it was too much. I scrambled away, crying, gasping, “Please, no. It’s too much. I…” I swung my eyes to my aunt and saw the understanding in them. She knew what I was going through, and I choked out, “Help me. Please.”
“The messenger has bonded with her again. She can’t handle everything at once. She senses too much. It’s overwhelming her.”
“I know,” Kellan growled and then stood before me. He tried to look gentle, but the fear was clawing at him. I felt it within him. It was clawing at me, too. He didn’t know how to help me; he didn’t know how to make it stop.
Then he made up his mind. “Out! Now!” My aunt went, but looked back over her shoulder before pulling the door shut behind her. I felt her concern as if it was my own and it shook me. How I could feel that? How could I know what she was thinking, what she was feeling, when she wasn’t me?
Kellan gripped my shoulders and lifted me in the air. He carried me, holding me against his chest, and went to one of my windows. It was opened in an instant, and then he perched there, holding me for a moment, and leapt through the air. The trees moved for us. Some helped us along the way, brushing their leaves against us while other ducked out of the way. We landed in the small pool behind the house with the waterfall beside us.
With one hand on the back of my head, he ducked us both underneath. Immediately, everything went away. It was as if I was normal again, the old Shay who didn’t know who I was. The relief was so powerful in me, I almost started crying, but I opened my eyes and saw Kellan in front of me. He held us on the bottom, anchoring us there, and he watched me, fearful. I felt it inside of me, taking root. I smiled and lifted both of my hands to grasp his face. My thumbs rubbed back and forth at the corners of his lips, and something else started to come over me.
The fervor was deep inside, but it started to climb. Then it matched with his, entwined, and twisted together to build even faster, higher, at a rapid pace. My heart started pounding. I gasped, but water rushed inside. Before I closed my mouth to stop more water from getting in, Kellan slammed his mouth over mine. His lips sucked the inside of my mouth dry, taking the water back out. He moved back once to spit it out, but his mouth was back before I fully realized he had even left. One of his hands gripped the back of my neck and the other lifted me up so my legs wrapped around his waist. He held us steady there, on the bottom of the lake. My arms wrapped around him, but I was lost on the inside of him. Everything was wrapped with him.
My heartbeat was racing so fast I was afraid that I’d combust in a moment, but I never did. Kellan calmed me down, still kissing me with a finger on the pulse at my neck. He rubbed against it, and somehow it calmed me. But then the hunger for him burst inside of me. It exploded, and I held on, weak, as if I was starving. My lips searched his.
He gripped me tightly against him, and then we were going to the surface. We broke the surface, and I gasped, pulling away. My eyes saw everything through a glaze of water still on my eyelids. It was as if we were still swimming, but I blinked a few times and brushed away the water. I saw it all clearly and then too clearly—everything until Kellan held my head in his hands. His eyes bore into mine, and he commanded, “You can control this. She was a part of you before. She’s a part of you now. Accept it. Accept her. Accept everything else, even though I know you don’t want to, but you have to.” He jerked me against him, wrapping his arms around me in a tight hug and kissed my shoulder. “Accept who you are. Please. I need you.”
My fingers clung into his shoulders, digging into them. I was trying, I really was, but everything was too much. I felt the birds as they landed on their nests. I heard the laughter from a neighbor on his phone miles away. I felt my aunt’s concern in the house behind us, sitting in a corner in the kitchen with a glass of wine to calm her nerves. Her hands clenched it tightly, and her fingers were tapping the counter, in a nervous reaction. I felt everything. Still. And I couldn’t handle it—then I gasped, arching upward in the water, surging against him.
“Shay,” Kellan choked out, the sound gurgling in the back of his throat, as he held onto my waist when I leapt upward.
It was too much. It was all too much, and then something in him shifted—he shifted inside of me. It was his demon. He reached inside, leapt with me, and yanked at everything. It was fine—it was all gone. I still felt all the information, everything that I had sensed, but it was okay. I could handle it, and I didn’t know why. I didn’t know what had happened, but I realized that Kellan’s forehead was pressed to my shoulder, limp. He hung on to me, as if I was holding him afloat now. He’d gone slack from exhaustion. Something occurred between us, something with his demon, because all his energy was spent.
I swam to the edge, holding him with me until we got to the bank. Then I pushed him up and rested beside him, collapsing.
A clothed foot stepped beside me, and my aunt’s silver cloak bunched to the ground when she knelt at my head. Her hand came to rest on my cheek. “You should rest, child. You have gone through much.” She straightened, and I heard her say further, “As has he.”
We were both lifted in the air. Kellan was asleep, but his hand fell out, reaching for me. I put my hand in his, and then we were both being carried through the air to the house and to my bed. Kellan was placed next to me and his arm reached out to curl around me, p
ulling me close. He tucked his chin on my shoulder and twisted a leg around mine before he fell into a deep sleep.
I looked up at my aunt who had followed behind to perch on the edge of the bed at my head. She smiled in the moonlight now and combed my hair back behind my ear. “You are very beautiful. Just like her.”
An image of my mother flashed through me. Pain followed quickly behind.
She added, “My name is Aumae, and I am honored to meet you, Shay. To meet both of you.”
My eyelids fluttered closed, the exhaustion was too much, but I wondered whom she meant—the messenger and me or Kellan and me? Then I fell asleep, and nothing mattered.
When I woke, it was night again, and I sat up.
“How are you?” Kellan asked, perched on a windowsill. It gave him a mysterious, feline, and lethal look at the same time. Then he blinked, and all mystery was gone, rising in a fluid motion.
My heart skipped a beat, but I answered, breathless, “I’m fine. You?”
He cracked a grin. “Shay, don’t lie to me. How are you? How is she?”
Then it all flooded me again, the sensory overload, the pool, the kiss, and then his demon… “What did you do to me?”
“Nothing.” He stood before me as I still sat in bed. Neither of us moved, but we breathed as one. The air felt heavy, too heavy.
One breath. Two breaths. I asked, holding mine, “Was that you or was that…”
His eyes held mine, shining with a fierce emotion. “What do you think?”
I already knew—his demon had gone inside of me, but why? What did he do? What did he want? “Did he hurt me?”
Kellan snorted. “He helped you. Are you serious?”
“But—” Why would a demon help me? Help a hybrid?
“I’m a hybrid,” Kellan bit out, in front of me in a flash. He braced both arms on either side of me on the bed and bent forward until his nose was an inch from mine. As his eyes bore into mine, he repeated slowly, with deadly promise, “I am a hybrid, too. I am human, and I am a demon. You’re not just a hybrid, Shay. And by the way, she’s merged with you. My demon helped you with that because you were freaking out, so much that you fought against accepting her. You should be thanking him, thanking me. Not wondering why we would want to help you.”
Jerking away from me, he turned, but I heard him mutter, “She doesn’t trust me.”
“I never trusted you.”
He looked back, and I waited for a few moments until he said in a low voice, “You did, in some small part. Part of you hated me, part of you distrusted me, but a part of you loves me. The part that loves me, and even more now, trusts me completely. And a part of you can’t handle that. Can you?”
He was right, on all accounts. “I do love you. You’re right, but I know that your demon did something to me. I don’t know what he did. It can’t be good, Kellan! I’m half-messenger. You’re half-demon. It can’t be good.”
