Problem is, I fall asleep, too. For a couple of hours—and I dream. Horrible, shitty dreams that feel so damn real. I’m escaping the bungalow, the laptop clutched tight in my hands, and Lily catches me. Tears stream down her face as she yells how much she trusted me and I hurt her so bad. That she hates me. She hates me so much, she’ll never talk to me again.
I beg for her forgiveness. I try and hand her back the laptop but she won’t take it. She keeps refusing it and I become more insistent, shoving the damn laptop toward her, pushing it into her stomach …
And then she turns into Pilar and she’s laughing at me. The sound is mocking, shrill, and she snatches the laptop from my grip. I clamp my hands over my ears and try to turn away so I don’t have to look at her but it’s as though I can’t. She laughs and laughs, her mouth getting wider and wider, like a black hole, and then she’s coming toward me, the laptop held over her head, as if she’s going to hit me with it.
I startle awake, lifting my head, holding back the groan that wants to escape at the pain in my neck from sleeping in such a weird position. Lily is still snug against me, her head fitting perfectly between my shoulder and neck, and slowly I disentangle myself from her, slipping from beneath her inch by careful inch. She never wakes, I’m able to adjust her into position in her bed, and I tug the sheet and comforter up higher, covering her to her neck.
I stand above her for a moment, blinking hard as I try to wake myself up. She looks so beautiful, so peaceful, lying there on her side. Her lips are pursed, her hair is a wavy mess, and she’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.
I don’t want to walk away. I want to keep her. I want her to be mine. We could really be something, Lily and I. I know we could. We’re more alike than even I care to admit. I think we could be good for each other. Good together.
But we can’t. I have to do this. It’s my job. And my job—my business—is all I have. Despite how I feel about Lily, there are no guarantees. I must take that fucking laptop, despite my never wanting to do it since I got here, hating Pilar Vasquez and her shitty demands.
Closing my eyes, I tighten my hands into fists and take a deep breath. I’m being completely irrational. This woman … I don’t know what could happen between us, but it’s not real. It can’t be real. I’m too caught up in this tropical location, the pretending I’m on vacation. If she finds out the truth, I’m fucked. I need to go. Just … grab that fucking laptop and leave. But this is the last time I’ll be with her, look at her, touch her …
Reaching out, I streak my fingers across her cheek, lightly. She shifts and sighs, her eyelashes fluttering, and I snatch my hand back, praying she won’t wake up.
She doesn’t. I can’t help but be relieved—and a little disappointed, too. If she woke up, I’d have no choice but to stay.
I take a deep breath and go to the closet, quietly sliding the door open. Stepping inside, I reach for the laptop, not surprised at all to find it in the exact spot that I last saw it.
Holding it close to my chest, I make my escape from the bungalow.
And never once look back.
chapter twenty
Lily
“LOOKS LIKE MAUI AGREED WITH YOU.” Violet greets me as I walk toward her, practically falling into her welcoming hug. I squeeze her back, closing my eyes for the briefest moment as I absorb her love and warmth, so incredibly thankful to be with her again.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you in person,” I tell her before I withdraw, though I don’t let her go—my hands still clasp her shoulders and she’s holding on to my arms.
“I know.” Violet’s smiling at me, looking gorgeous with all that dark hair falling down her back in luxurious waves, her dark eyes sparkling as bright as the giant diamond on her finger. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen Violet look so genuinely happy.
I could almost get choked up, having her here in front of me. I didn’t realize I missed my sister so much until now. “Skype just doesn’t cut it, you know,” I say, my voice rough as I clear my throat past the emotional bubble clogging it.
Violet rolls her eyes and smiles. “I totally agree. But guess what? You’re stuck with me now. No more going back to London for us except to visit.”
I’m so grateful for her warm acceptance of me that I can feel the tight knot in my chest slowly unravel. I was scared to death this morning as I prepared to come into Fleur. Seeing Daddy, Grandma, Rose, and Violet … and worst of all, that evil witch Pilar … I wasn’t looking forward to it, and that’s the understatement of the year.
I was petrified really, afraid of what any of them might say. I’d rather pretend the fact that I ran away to Maui to escape my problems—especially a problem that neither I nor Pilar wants made public knowledge, I’m sure—was swept under the rug.
I don’t even want to talk about Maui and what happened there. The man I met. The man who somehow, some way, double-crossed me. Stole from me …
I have my suspicions about why Max did what he did. Nothing confirmed yet, but come on. I had jewelry in my suitcase—expensive jewelry. Cash in my wallet and stashed away in my travel bag. Yet he took my laptop and that’s it. The fucker stole from me.
Why?
Could he be working for Pilar?
No. It couldn’t be possible, just some weird coincidence. Maybe he didn’t steal from me. Maybe one of the hotel employees snagged my Mac. I hadn’t checked on it in days. For all I know, it could have been missing since the day I stashed it up on the shelf in my closet.
That’s the problem. I don’t know what happened, when it was stolen or why. I can suspect Max all I want. It makes sense in a way. He held me close until I fell asleep and when I woke up in the morning, groggy and hung over, he was gone. Disappeared like he’d never existed in the first place. He didn’t even leave a note. I searched for him everywhere. By the pool, in the lobby, down by the beach, in the hotel restaurants, but he wasn’t there.
I went to his hotel room only to find the door cracked open and the maids inside, cleaning. His stuff was gone. The maids let me know he’d checked out that morning.
He didn’t even bother saying goodbye.
It hurts that he didn’t believe me worthy of a goodbye. Worse, he lied to me. Said that we would see each other again and then ditched me. I don’t get it.
What did I do wrong? That last night, when we had sex, I gave him everything I thought he wanted. I wanted to please him, wanted to be the submissive woman, not only to make him happy, but because it made me feel … good. I liked handing over the control to Max so I could get lost in the pleasure. It aroused me, his controlling ways, the words he said, the demands he made on my body. I wanted more. I wanted all of him …
And he didn’t want me at all.
Coming home set me on edge. Just booking the return flight nearly sent me into a panic attack. I’d taken a Xanax on the flight home to help me relax and I ended up sleeping through practically the entire trip. Went home and crashed into bed only to wake up at three in the morning, wide-eyed and petrified. Deciding to give in to my alert state rather than fight it, I got up, picked out my outfit, took a long, hot shower, went over what I would say to everyone again and again in my head while I blew dry my hair, and hoped like hell I didn’t make a complete idiot of myself.
Violet is my first obstacle and so far, so good.
“I thought you were serious about staying in London indefinitely,” I tell her as she goes around her desk and settles into her chair as if she’s never been gone from the Manhattan headquarters of Fleur. They kept her office intact and for good reason. She’s such an integral part of the company and will most likely be running it one day. And I’m sure Daddy realized quickly that she couldn’t stay away for too long.
I settle in the chair opposite her desk, amused by the exaggerated grimace on her face. “We didn’t want to deal with Pilar—that’s why we stayed away for so long. Ryder and I both thought it was for the best. But then grumbling started happening around here. Lots of r
umors of how people weren’t happy with the direction she was taking the company in. And then Father started finalizing the marketing and release plans with our perfumes, telling me constantly he needed me here. Even Grandma called me, asking me to come back.”
I go tense at first mention of Pilar’s name. I always forget that Pilar and Ryder used to be a thing, which I shouldn’t because hello, that’s huge. And weird. Though I don’t fault Ryder, since Violet told me about his background and what a shitty life he had growing up.
“There’s grumbling about the direction Pilar is taking the company? What are you talking about? What sort of control does she have, anyway?” I ask, curious. If Pilar had her way, she’d bump all of us and take over completely. Not that I’m a threat per se since I don’t even work at Fleur, but I still own a percentage of the company and I know that drives her crazy.
I know all three of us make her crazy. That’s why she’s plotting and scheming, coming up with ways to take us out—and Violet’s her biggest target.
I should tell my sister my suspicions, that I believe Pilar is trying to sell trade secrets to Fleur’s competition, but how? How can I break it to her without completely freaking her out and sending Ryder on a murderous rampage? I can’t risk it.
So I keep my mouth shut. I have my own plans. Now that I’m back, it’s time for me to set a few things in motion.
“There’s lots of talk about expansion in the works and no one is pleased, least of all me and Ryder.” Violet smiles every time she mentions her fiancé’s name. I wonder if she’s even aware of it. “She wants to grow too fast and that could harm the infrastructure of the company. Her grandiose plans were getting out of control and I couldn’t stand hearing about it another minute. Neither could Ryder. That’s the real reason we’re back, to put a stop to her before she ruins Fleur for good.”
I raise a brow. “So you’re back to undermine Pilar’s plans?” Pilar has to know this. And that’s why she’s being such a bitch, pulling out all her weapons and lining them up in a nice, neat row.
Violet smirks. “As best we can. We can’t have her ruining our legacy, can we?” She pauses, her eyes dancing with mischief. “I’ve heard, too, that there’s trouble in paradise.”
“Do tell.” I lean forward, eager for gossip about Daddy and Pilar. Any information I can glean I’ll store for later purposes. As in using said information against Pilar.
Violet glances at the closed door with a little nod of approval. Heaven forbid she get caught gossiping about the company, even if it is with just me. “She’s pushing for marriage soon and he’s not agreeable. Yes, he gave her an engagement ring, but it was more to shut her up than to do anything else. She’s getting restless,” she says, her voice low, as if there are microphones in the room catching our every word. “Grandma told me he came to her complaining. He’s not ready to get married.”
“Really?” I’m surprised he would confess something like that to his mother, our grandmother. Our father loves nothing more than putting on airs about how perfect everything in his life is. He gave Pilar that ring not only to please her, but because it looked good, the two of them working together, a beautiful, younger woman on his arm. A partner in crime who’s savvy and headstrong, and who’s more than ready to take Fleur to the next level. Forget his daughters who are willing to do the same thing.
Well, daughter. I have no interest in running Fleur and I’m starting to think Rose has lost interest as well.
Of course, heaven forbid we girls cause him any trouble—hello, I was born to give him trouble—or a scandal. Rose’s new husband with the slightly shady past and her out-of-the-blue pregnancy didn’t make him happy. Violet’s quick dumping of her ex Zachary and rushing into a relationship with Ryder McKay didn’t please him at first, either.
We won’t even get into how often I displease him. Almost on a daily basis.
“Yes. Really. I don’t know how much longer they’ll be together, but it’s not looking so good. And I think Pilar’s aware of it,” she admits. “I’m not protesting, though. You know how I feel about her.”
I put on an innocent look. “You think she’s awesome?”
“Ha.” Violet makes a face. “I hate her.” And Violet hates no one.
“I think we all do,” I say.
Violet waves a hand. “Enough about Pilar. Tell me about your vacation. How was Maui? Did you have a good time?”
Vacation. That’s what I finally told her when I texted her the morning I left Maui. What else could I say to Violet?
I’m on the run from Pilar because she’s about to get her revenge on you and possibly destroy our family legacy?
Yeah, that wouldn’t work. I keep my mouth shut because I don’t have 100 percent confirmation. It’s one thing to accuse Pilar of having relationships with other men besides my father—I have proof of that via emails. But my suspicions of her selling company secrets to one of Fleur’s competitors? That’s all I have.
Suspicions. No proof.
“It was nice. Relaxing.” Lies. I feel more stressed out than ever. And I definitely don’t want to divulge any information about my entanglement with Max. A man whose last name I don’t even know. I don’t really know what he does for a living beyond that it’s a secret and he’s ex-military, or whether he lied to me about being single—nothing. For all I know he’s married with kids and is living this crazy, double life.
What I do know is that he kissed like a dream, I fell apart every time he so much as looked at me and when he fucked me, he took complete command of my body.
And I liked it.
Memories of that last night with him assail me, one after the other. Letting him take such total control over me, I’d slipped over an edge I’d never experienced before. I felt lost, deliciously, wonderfully lost in the absolute best way. My mind had emptied completely when he touched me, shoved my skirt up to my waist, and then proceeded to give me not just one but two orgasms in a matter of minutes. All while we stood on the balcony of his hotel room where anyone could see us.
The hottest experience of my life, hands down.
All of it ruined by his leaving me. Stealing from me.
God, how could I be so gullible?
“Nice? That’s all you’re going to give me?” She props her elbow on the edge of her desk, resting her chin on her curled fist as she studies me. “I suggested we go to Hawaii for our honeymoon, but Ryder would rather go to the Caribbean. You’ll have to fill me in on the resort so I can report back to him and convince him to change his mind.”
“But the Caribbean is nice, too,” I tell her, grateful for the minor change of subject. And no way am I going to suggest she go to the resort I was at. That Vice club would shock the hell out of her.
“I’d rather do Hawaii. I’m sure I can convince him it’s the better place to honeymoon.” She grins. “So what did you do while you were in Maui? Check out the sights? Go to the beach? Did you meet anyone? I’ve never gone on a vacation by myself before. I’m not sure I’d know what to do with myself.”
“Um …” I scramble for what to say. Fucked around with a strange man? That wouldn’t go over too well. “It was super relaxing. I laid out by the pool a lot.” I don’t bother mentioning my injury from the first day. My palm is healed and there’s no reason to bring it up. Then I’d have to mention Max and the story would spiral out of control.
“I can tell from your tan.” She lifts her head, her gaze darting toward the windowed walls of her office. “Oh, there’s Rose.” She waves to her, the door opening moments later, and in walks our pregnant baby sister.
I leap up from my chair as Violet shoots from behind her desk, and we’re both fighting over who gets to hug Rose first. She laughs and wraps her arms around our shoulders, bringing us in so we’re all hugging each other, and I’m so overwhelmed with love for them I almost choke up. Again.
But then Rose shoves us away with a laugh, and my overwhelming emotions fade when I catch sight of her growing belly.
; “Rosie!” I drop a hand to her tummy and give it a gentle rub. “Look at you. You’re so …”
“I know, I’m so fat,” she moans, though she’s smiling. Glowing, really. I’ve never seen her look prettier, and Rose is already flat-out gorgeous.
“You’re not fat,” Violet reassures her as she rests her hand on the other side of Rose’s belly. “You’re full of child.”
The smile on Rose’s face is nothing short of dreamy. “Trust me. I feel fat. Like I don’t know how to move with this belly. I’ve become awkward and clumsy, which is totally embarrassing. Though Caden says I look sexy with his baby growing inside me. And my sex drive has been off the charts lately—my God. He comes home from work and all I want to do is attack him the minute he walks through the door.”
“Ugh, gross. Don’t take us there,” Violet says, sounding like she’s thirteen, and making all three of us crack up.
“You look good, Lily,” Rose says, turning her attention to me as we all sit around Violet’s desk. “Maui definitely suited you, hmm?”
I brush my hair back from my face, thankful I wore a dress like my sisters. I look like I might actually work here, though no way would I ever want to. Rose is here because she’s sitting in on an afternoon meeting.
I’m here because I knew they would both be here and we’re all going out to lunch.
“She’s being terribly vague,” Violet tells Rose, the two of them settling their skeptical gazes right on me. I feel pinned in place by the way they examine me. How could I forget that my sisters are so nosy? “Makes me wonder if something else happened while she was on Maui.”
“I stayed out of trouble, just like I promised,” I say, throwing up my hand in a Girl Scout pledge. “Didn’t really drink much. No partying, either.” That was sort of true, so I don’t feel like a complete liar.
“Well, the media certainly quieted down once you disappeared. I think they’ve moved on to the next troublemaker,” Rose reassures me, her expression solemn. “That’s a good thing, I suppose.”
Taming Lily Page 18
