She met his blue-eyed gaze, and detected a mix of the courage that had forced him to his feet as well as the defeat that had kept him down for so long.
“This is it, Maggie,” he said starkly. “This is all I can be for you.”
His beaten tone told her that even with this incredible victory, he still didn’t think it was enough.
“Even if you had never managed to stand, or to walk,” she said, “I still would have loved you, David.”
His eyes flashed in disbelief. “Really? Is that why you look at Rafe the way you do?”
Denying her reaction to the other man would be a lie. And though she didn’t owe David an explanation since he had been the one to abandon their relationship, she gave one anyway.
“What I feel for Rafe is beyond my control. It’s something almost…instinctive.”
“Because you’re like him now,” he returned, his tone sharp as a knife at her willing admission.
“I didn’t ask for this to happen,” she snapped, then tempered her anger. “All I know is, some things are…impossible now.”
“Welcome to my world,” David muttered caustically.
At one time Maggie had thought she could understand what David was going through after he had been injured. That she had been supportive. But the last few days had been a real revelation. Opening her eyes to what he had likely been feeling.
Now that she was the one who was no longer the same, whose life would never be as she had planned it, she realized she could never have really understood David’s emotions at the time. Nor even how he was feeling about everything now.
Except for one important thing.
She took a step toward him. “After you were hurt, you didn’t think I could possibly still love you.”
“Because you fell in love with someone else. Someone who didn’t exist anymore. Who still doesn’t,” he ground out, naked emotion in every word. He may have healed physically, but his psychological wounds were still there, raw, exposed, and bleeding.
She stepped closer to him, eye-to-eye. She brushed the back of her hand along his temple and lovingly traced her thumb across his sandpaper-rough cheek. The blond stubble of his evening beard felt achingly familiar.
“You’re right. I fell in love with a different man. A man who never hesitated to meet any challenge. Who wasn’t afraid to fight for what he wanted.”
David opened his mouth to speak, but she covered his lips with her fingers, silencing him. “Do you want me, David? Can you ever love me again, knowing I’ll never be the same woman I was just a few days ago?”
The answer burst from his lips, certain and defiant. “I never stopped loving you, Maggie. But I can’t hold you back from exploring who you are now. What you are now.”
She had faith that a place in his heart would always belong to her. Sadly, she also recognized that sometimes that wasn’t enough. She wanted—no, needed—more than just lingering feelings from a past relationship. She needed something now, something vibrant, and alive.
Easing away from him, she turned back to the slides, samples, and papers strewn across her worktable. “It’s late, and I’ve still got a lot to do before I can call it a night.”
Recognizing her dismissal, he thinned his lips. “I’ll let you get back to work, then.”
He turned and step-shuffled back to his wheelchair and awkwardly seated himself, as if still getting used to being mobile.
Maybe he was. It had taken him a long time to get to this stage. Just as it would take time for her to adapt to her new state of being.
Her one hope was that the days ahead would heal both of them, so they could get on with their lives. And maybe find a little happiness.
…
Ryder had been too impatient just to sit in the sedan, waiting for Diana. Their fight had roused the demon in him, and he had needed to tire it in order to maintain control.
So, once she had slipped into the building, he’d unleashed the last reins of restraint and rushed away into the night. With the speed of the vampire and its power pounding through his veins, he’d raced up Broadway and westward along Worth toward the familiar stomping grounds nearby, The Lair, the bar he owned. The closer he got, the more he felt the presence of undead power thrumming in the area. Slow, virtually hidden heartbeats pounded at his senses. Waves of power vibrated in the air, registering in his very core, almost like sonar warning others of its presence.
There were fewer vampires here than the Blood Bank, since The Lair wasn’t as popular with the younger vampires who liked the edge and the crush of the bigger club. But for those long in the tooth, The Lair was a nice place to unwind without having to challenge the more aggressive youths for dominance.
Ryder ambled through the crowd, satisfied that he’d make a nice profit tonight. He took a few moments to talk with his bouncers and bartenders, chatting with them about what was happening. All the while keeping his vampire senses open for the presence of other undead. And making sure the immortals were respecting The Lair’s no-bite policy.
Not that he didn’t understand the craving. Hell, he was hungry for a bite right now. But not from a stranger.
Which reminded him it was time to get back to Diana. He left the bar and took to the rooftops, leaping from one to the next, racing toward Federal Plaza. When he got there, Diana had still not come out. He leaned against the limo’s front bumper, allowing the chill of the night to cool the heat of the vampire, which he leashed tightly as he waited for her.
He sensed her before he saw her, their connection powerful. But with that link came an acute awareness of her fatigue, a tiredness borne of more than just long hours and the pregnancy.
Worry gripped him, but he forced a smile as she pushed through the doors and strode across the plaza to where he waited. His hands were tucked beneath his arms, one hip propped against the limo fender, his legs crossed in a negligently casual pose.
But Ryder was feeling far from relaxed.
He wanted her in so many ways. Ways she might not want him to feel. But that wouldn’t stop his pursuit of her. Marriage had done nothing to change what he desired. If anything, being legally bound to her had made his need to keep her heart and her life secure even stronger than before.
When she reached him, she planted her hands on her hips and glanced around furtively before giving him her undivided attention. “You know, it could be embarrassing for me to have my colleagues see you waiting for me. Like I need a babysitter, or something.”
Determined to fulfill at least one of his wants, he bent until his lips were only an inch from hers, and whispered, “Want to know what would be even more embarrassing?”
The side of her mouth quirked up. “What?” she asked, tilting her head back defiantly.
His grin broadened for a split second. “This.”
Ryder closed the short distance between them and covered her lips with his, tasting her smile. Savoring the sweet spill of her breath, and the warmth of life as she opened her mouth to him.
He delved his fingers into her hair, cradling the back of her head, and they kissed until her needy moan filled his senses.
At length, she backed away and tenderly smoothed her fingers across his hair. “You don’t fight fair.”
With a playful waggle of his brows, he said, “I’d rather not fight. I’d rather make love.”
She laughed and poked him in the ribs. “So what’s keeping you?”
Chapter Twenty
Without waiting for Ryder, Diana yanked open the limo door and climbed in.
He slid in beside her, closed the door, and gave the driver instructions before raising the privacy screen. As the car pulled away from the curb, he turned to face her, his actions far from relaxed.
She sensed that every cell in his body craved her, and in turn she hungered for the taste of him, for the feel of his body next to hers. But he must have seen the fatigue in her eyes and the tired lines of her sagging muscles, and he held back. She felt the disturbing flutter of her heart, warni
ng her that all was not right within her body.
He reached for her with a delicate touch, his motions filled with tenderness. Conveying to her with his gentle embrace all that was in his heart. He took her into his arms and onto his lap, cradling her close, meeting her mouth as she leaned in, offering him her love.
Her head swam with the riot of emotions he always unleashed in her as she opened her mouth under his. Her skin itched for his touch even as she battled her heart to keep from slipping into the darkness with him—a darkness that rooted itself more powerfully in her soul as the fear of death rose in her again.
She had hoped the changes wrought by her pregnancy would halt the havoc that had reigned in her body for nearly three years now. The weakness she felt today warned that maybe those changes had been ephemeral.
As always, he understood, and sought to ease her troubled soul. “Together, remember?” he whispered against her lips as he kissed her again and splayed his strong hands along her back, holding her close.
She rested her forehead against his and confessed her fears. “I think it’s back. The contamination. I feel it sinking its claws into me. Sucking the life out of me.”
He shifted his hand and nestled it between her breasts, directly over her heart. “We’ll fight it with everything we have, darlin’. I won’t lose you or the baby.”
His hand drifted down to her belly, and a tiny flutter suddenly became a strong kick against his palm. He grinned, and she let out a joyous chuckle.
“I think she knows her daddy’s touch.”
For good measure, she covered his hand with hers and pressed it more firmly against her belly, and was gifted with another robust reaction from the baby. Their child grew more active with each passing day, filling her with happiness. And hope. At nearly five months, her baby might survive even if she didn’t.
“Promise you’ll tell the baby about me. Let her know about her mom,” Diana whispered, filled with sudden anguish at the thought of never knowing her daughter.
Ryder’s head shot up to meet her gaze. His face wavered in her vision from the tears she refused to shed.
He swallowed. “Darlin’, you’ll be there for her, trust me. And when did you decide it was a her, anyway?” he asked, trying for a lighthearted tone and nearly succeeding.
She shrugged, unsure of just when it had come to her that the baby was a girl. Not that there was any scientific or factual basis to it. She just kind of knew it in her gut, and her gut was rarely wrong.
“I don’t know, Ryder. It just feels right, you know?”
Ryder smiled. “Yeah, I know.” He brushed his hand soothingly over her cheek. “I hope she looks just like you. With your dark hair and beautiful almond-shaped green-gold eyes.” He traced around one of them with his index finger. “And the cute little dent in your chin,” he added, touching his finger to the tiny dip.
“I hope she’s tall like you,” Diana countered. “Being short is a bitch.” She attempted a smile, and ran her hands through her husband’s hair, then across the sturdy slope of his broad shoulders, and finally down his arms to join her hands with his and bring them back to her belly.
Her heart did a weird flip-flop and she drew in a breath to calm it, but Ryder had felt it, too, and his joy evaporated in a quick blink. “Will you go see Melissa in the morning? Please?”
She thought of the needles, IVs, and blood that had kept her alive for so long. And felt nothing but dread. Especially now with the baby. But she knew she had to discuss this new development with Melissa, Ryder’s former keeper, who was also her friend and her brother’s wife.
“I’ll see her. But in the meantime…”
The baby within her had been created from the union of their two different life forces…with the help of Ryder’s kiss, she was sure. She prayed his kiss could once again sustain both their lives.
The limo pulled up and stopped. They were home.
She slipped out of the back seat, Ryder hot on her heels. Hands joined, they rode the elevator up to their condo. When they walked through the front door, Ryder swept her into his arms and with a burst of vamp power, flew with her up the stairs to their bedroom.
She didn’t think she’d ever get used to that whoosh of speed as the world blurred around them. Almost like a warning that she was leaving her own world and entering a different plane entirely. A place where the normal rules didn’t apply.
An existence far removed from the one she had envisioned for herself. And not just because it was the realm of the undead. More because she was in love and married and pregnant—three things she had never imagined on that long ago day when her father had died in her arms and she had promised him justice.
Ryder gently let her slip to her feet, his hands at her growing waist. She wrapped her arms around him and laid her head against the solid wall of his chest. Listening to the slow, even beat of his heart, she breathed in the scent of him, a masculine citrusy aroma he favored.
“I love you,” she whispered, certain of that more than anything else.
…
Ryder tightened his hold at Diana’s words, so afraid of losing her it sent terror coursing through his veins. He’d thought he could handle watching his petite warrior head out the door each morning to fight for truth and justice. But he couldn’t. He also knew he couldn’t keep her from doing her job, because that would kill her just as surely as any bullet, or the malignant cells flaring back to life in her body.
All he could do was love her and try his best to keep her close, as much as she might not like having him hover around her.
“I love you, too, darlin’,” he echoed, and set her away so he could undress her.
He sensed she wanted to hurry, but he brushed her hands aside and took his time, stopping to kiss every inch of her that was revealed as he removed her clothes.
Her body was ripe and full with the pregnancy. And so sensitive, he thought as he danced kisses across her tight nipples and she gasped with desire. She tried to drag him close, but he had other places to visit.
He moved down to her swollen belly and dropped a kiss there, smiling as the baby did a little somersault beneath his lips. He continued his descent to her center, where her nether lips were flushed and damp with need.
He lowered her onto the bed and quickly stripped off his clothes, eager to be inside her, and impatient for the bite that sustained them both in such different ways.
He nearly came as she ran her hand along the length of his cock, urging him toward her wet center. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he slowly entered her, mindful of her condition.
She lay on her back on the bed, her beautiful breasts bared to him, trembling for his kiss.
He bent and suckled them, dragging a rough moan from her that sank deep into his soul, arousing the beast that lived within him, always waiting to be released.
With a low growl, he let the demon loose, knowing it had been waiting far too long for this moment.
Rising to life, his sensitive vampire senses drew in the musky smell of her, ripe with arousal, and reveled in the flush across her skin that deepened the tips of her breasts to the color of succulent cherries.
His mouth watered and his fangs elongated in anticipation of that first taste of her. But he held back, wanting first to bring her pleasure. Needing to show control, to keep the trust that was so important in their relationship.
But he needed one thing. Okay, maybe more than one thing. But this would be a good start.
“Touch yourself, Di,” he said, and dropped his gaze to her breasts.
She sucked in a shaky breath and her inner muscles clenched around him, dragging a rough groan from his throat. Somehow he held back his own pleasure as she brushed her fingers across her nipples. Her back arched and her eyes closed as she caressed the sensitive tips, deepening his penetration and bringing waves of contractions around his cock.
A deep growl escaped him at the sight of her playing with herself. With his gaze locked on hers, he began to move, thru
sting his hips in and out in a steady rhythm, ever mindful of the child within. His child.
Desire built with each stroke. The sound of her eager cries and the sight of her pleasure drove him on until he could no longer hold back. With a sharp shout, he came, and she followed, arching her back and calling out his name.
Reaching for him, blind with desire, she urged him down to do what he so desperately wanted. And desperately hoped might quell the rising weakness within her.
She dropped her head to the side to bare her throat, and cradled him close. A shiver sneaked across her body as he grazed his fangs along her tender skin, teasing her with what was to come.
“Kiss me, Ryder. Take me,” she said, her voice husky with emotion.
He bit down, piercing the fragile skin with his fangs, and the rush of her blood brought him sustenance such as he had never known. The connection between them surged to life, and in his head came her soft admonition.
Keep me with you, my love.
How he wished he could keep her with him forever! But he was ever mindful of the trust between them, of the promises he had made, so he tempered his bite, providing her only what was needed to keep her with him for just a little longer.
As he forced himself away from the overwhelming temptation she presented, he licked the punctures in her throat, sealing them shut. By morning, his marks would be invisible, but the benefits of his kiss would hopefully linger far longer.
When he raised his head, she skimmed the back of her hand along his cheek and offered him a grateful smile. “Thank you.”
His heart stuttered with relief, and he nodded. “I just wish I could do more.”
…
Diana understood the conflict within him. His desire to keep her safe clashed with the knowledge that the one sure way to keep her with him meant ending her human life—something neither of them was prepared to face. Especially now with their child inside her.
Born to Love (The Vampire Reborn Series) (Entangled Ignite) Page 13
