by Lee Wardlow
Luka saw her over the top of Ava’s head.
I’m sorry, she mouthed the words. So sorry. Then Skylar turned and walked down the hall to the kitchen. Her bare feet making a soft, slapping noise against the wood floor. She grabbed a glass from the cabinet and filled it with water. She gulped it down and filled it again. She took a bottle of aspirin out of another cabinet and downed two of them before she gulped down more water.
“Feeling better?” Luka asked.
“No,” she replied. Skylar’s heart felt heavier than ever. “I’ve been living a lie.”
“How so?”
Skylar glanced over her shoulder at Luka who leaned against her fridge. His arms folded across his broad chest.
“I thought I was enough for Ava.” She turned back to the sink where she rested against the counter. “I told myself that from the time that I first held her in my arms. That is how I justified not telling you about her.”
“And now?”
Skylar dropped her head low towards her chest. She felt the tears stinging her eyes but she refused to let them fall. Skylar shook her head back and forth. “I hear the heartbreak in her voice because she never had you and my own heart is broken all over again because of my selfishness I kept her from you.”
“I have to admit that I was pissed as hell at you. At my mother and my brothers even more so for not telling me about Ava.”
“I’m sure.”
“After spending the morning with her I just want to move forward and enjoy her. I’ve looked at pictures of her from the time she was born and I have a sense of who she was as a baby until today. Her first ten years are something I can’t get back but I have to bare some of the responsibility. Sky,” he said her name. “Look at me.”
Skylar didn’t want to turn around. She didn’t want to get lost in his blue-green gaze. She didn’t want to see exactly what he was feeling. She wanted to keep her walls strong and high to keep him out but every time she looked at him she felt pieces of those walls crumbling away. She had to stop it. Skylar could not let Luka Shaw in again.
She finally turned to face Luka. “What?” She asked; a tremble to her voice.
He pulled his body away from her fridge and walked to her. Luka stood over her. Skylar lowered her chin. She just couldn’t meet that intense gaze. She couldn’t fall in love with Luka again if she had ever stopped loving him in the first place. “I know that I hurt you,” he told her.
She lowered her lashes to hide the tears threatening her. That was an understatement. They had made plans. She thought she would be his wife one day. Bare his children. She had given him one child but not under the circumstances she thought she would.
“I had to leave Sky.”
Could he see the soft shaking of her shoulders? The pain on her face those words caused her.
“We were supposed to have a future together,” she finally said. “We talked about the house in town and the babies that we would have.”
“I know.” His voice was gentle and low. Consoling her when she just couldn’t be consoled. He didn’t know. He wasn’t here to see the pain that he had caused her.
She turned her face up to his. The tears were rolling down her face. Luka reached out to her and wiped them away with his fingertips and Skylar gasped. A part of her wanted to melt into him and love him again. She was terrified of that part of her. She steeled herself and took a step back then another before she bumped into the counter. “Did you feel any regret at all when you walked away that night knowing you were leaving me?”
He put his hands on his hips to keep from pulling her against him. He sensed that she would not appreciate that at the moment. “I did.”
“I don’t believe you,” she snapped. “Didn’t you ever stop and think how badly that would hurt me.”
Luka didn’t get a chance to answer. He turned and looked down the hallway. She looked past him. Ava had let Tag inside the house. “Where’s your Momma, Ava?” They heard his booming voice in the kitchen.
Luka turned back to Skylar. “Seems like you have company.”
She pushed past him and walked down the hall. Tag saw her over Ava’s head. “Tag.”
Ava turned and gazed at her mother. Skylar could see the disdain on her daughter’s face and she felt guilty. Guilty because she knew that he wasn’t fond of Ava at all but she always thought that didn’t matter because she had no intention of making their relationship more serious. She thought it was okay as long as she kept the two worlds separate. It wasn’t okay and she knew that now. It was like her eyes had been opened. It should matter because Tag had different plans for a future with her that was never going to be possible for so many reasons.
“What did you do to the truck?” He asked glancing through her front door then back at her.
“I hit the fountain I would think that is obvious.”
“Ava go somewhere like a good girl. Momma and I need to talk,” Tag told her daughter.
He was grating on her last nerve this morning telling her daughter what to do. Skylar was feeling like hell. Her stomach and her head both hurt. This was not the time to do this with Tag. Ordering Ava around was also not the best move on his part. “Ava, come here,” Luka called to her. “You and I will start breakfast.”
“I’m coming Daddy.”
Ava ran past her mother. Skylar watched them as Ava ran straight to Luka. He wrapped his arm around her slender shoulders and guided her into the kitchen. He glanced back at Skylar. “If you need me I’m right here,” he told her. Then he disappeared into the kitchen with their daughter.
Skylar turned back towards Tag. She could see the tension in his stance. The fury on his face. “What the fuck is he doing here?”
“He is Ava’s father,” she said as calmly as she could. “He has every right to be here to visit with her,” she added.
“Outside. I want to talk to you,” he snapped.
She gazed at him through eyes that were no more than slits. Her head was pounding hard in her ears. “You don’t order me around like that,” she informed him. Tag grabbed her arm and dragged her outside behind him. The screen door slammed shut after them. Skylar jerked her arm out of his hand as soon as they were on the porch.
“Don’t you manhandle me Tag.” Skylar was in no mood to deal with him this morning. Things were getting out of hand quickly.
He looked over at her truck flush against the stone fountain. “Were you drinking last night? Did you lie to me?” Skylar didn’t appreciate being treated like a child. Yes, she had lied to him. She told him she had a headache and just wanted to go home. In truth, she had wanted to escape him and the thoughts of a kiss that she had shared with Luka Shaw.
“I lied. I met Brett for drinks at the pond. He’s been my best friend since Kindergarten and you know that. We talked and we drank. I came home.”
“Why lie about it?”
Because her life was turned upside down from the moment that Luka Shaw stepped out of that truck yesterday afternoon. She saw his familiar smirk and her heart felt like it had dropped into her stomach. No longer a teenage boy but a man who still had the power to hurt her because he still held her heart in his hand whether she wanted to admit it or not.
She was dying inside the instant she saw it was him. She hadn’t even realized that Ava was on the front porch watching them. Of course, she didn’t know that her daughter already knew who he was thanks to Brett. “It was easier to lie to you than be reprimanded like a child by you.” She heard his sharp intake of air.
“He’s going to come between us,” Tag declared.
Skylar shook her head no. A sad smile came to her lips. The corners turned down in a frown. She hated this. Skylar hated confrontation. Maybe that is why she had stuck it out with Tag for so damn long. She didn’t want the conflict that would come with breaking it off with Tag Richardson.
“There is nothing to come between, Tag,” she said sadly.
“What the hell do you mean?” Tag shouted.
“You know Tag.
You have to know. Not once have I told you that I loved you. Not once have I agreed to the plans that you sometimes talk about; a future for us that was never going to happen.”
“Why not?” He was getting angrier by the second. “Because of Luka Shaw?”
“Because of us,” she told him softly. “Because I don’t love you Tag and you don’t like Ava. The only thing that we had was great sex. I enjoyed it. You enjoyed it. Take it for what it is worth and move on now. You have plenty of options for my replacement.”
Tag glared at her. “You’re breaking up with me?” He asked.
“There was nothing to break Tag. Every Friday night we went to the town meetings, then the dance, then home to your house where we fucked. Nothing more. We didn’t spend any real time together because it wasn’t important enough to either of us to work harder on this relationship. Don’t you see? Don’t make it more important now that it’s over.”
“Because of Luka.”
“I just said no. Tag, how I feel has nothing to do with Luka Shaw.”
“Now what?”
“Now,” she said softly. “Now, we go our separate ways. It was fun while it lasted.”
The sound he made in his throat was one of pure derision and anger. He started down the steps then he turned on her. “Fuck you Skylar,” Tag told her shaking his finger at her. “Fuck you to hell and back. You think it was just great sex?” She nodded. “Nothing more?”
“I’m sorry. I never made any promises to you Tag. You were sex and good company when Ava went to a friend’s house or when she stayed with Luna. I care for you but no man will ever hold my heart in his hands again. Never,” she declared.
“Never is a really long time Skylar.” He sounded like he felt sorry for her. He started to walk to his car again then he stopped and turned back towards her. “Skylar, it wasn’t just sex for me. I loved you.”
“Then I am sorrier than I can tell you,” she said to him with a catch to her voice and a hint of sadness. “I would never hurt anyone the way that I have been hurt.”
Tag shook his head and turned his back on her. He walked to the BMW waiting off the side of the driveway because the truck’s tail was sticking out blocking the path.
Gone was the arrogance that had always irritated her. Left in his wake was a man who was in pain. She truly felt bad for hurting him. Skylar walked to the edge of the porch and watched him climb into the car. Before he shut the door she called his name. He was facing the steering wheel she knew that he had heard her but he didn’t move for a moment. Then, he looked up at her. “What?”
“I am sorry.”
“Not in a forgiving mood right now Skylar. Have a nice life. When Luka Shaw breaks you again don’t come running back to me,” he told her.
“He won’t. I won’t give him the chance.” Tag snorted at her.
Skylar leaned against the post at the top of the stairs. The thick post on either side helped hold up the roof of the porch that ran the length of the house. Right now, it was holding up Skylar.
“Good bye Tag,” she told him.
He didn’t answer her. Tag shut the door on his Beemer and started his car. She watched him back out of the drive then spit gravel as he drove down the lane. She heard a few pebbles hit the side of her truck but she didn’t even care. Skylar sat down hard on the steps leaning her elbows on her knees. She was staring into the distance wondering if that kiss actually prompted her to end it so quickly with Tag. That kiss from Luka Shaw, last night before she went to the town square that she just couldn’t get off her mind?
The feel of Luka’s lips on hers was fresh in her memories. She hadn’t thought she would feel his mouth on hers again. Skylar touched her lips and her eyes closed at the same time. She imagined Luka kissing her but that was all she would do; use her imagination because she had to keep Luka at arm’s length. She wouldn’t keep him from Ava but she didn’t have to succumb to his charms again.
She rose and walked out to her truck. She climbed behind the wheel. Her hand trembling, she started up the vehicle and backed away from the fountain. There was no harm done to the fountain itself but her front bumper fell off when she pulled away.
Skylar drove down the lane wearing just her pajamas. She just didn’t give a damn. She had to get away from Luka for a little while. Get her head on straight. She could see Luka and Ava standing on the porch. She knew they were wondering where she was going but right now she had to be as far away from Luka Shaw as she could get. He would take care of Ava of that she had no doubt.
Skylar drove into town and parked behind the pub where her sister worked and lived. She stopped her car next to her sister’s little sports car. Then she ran up the steps to the back door; Skylar knocked. She knew that Ramona was home because her car was here. When her sister didn’t answer she jiggled the handle and realized it was unlocked so she went inside the loft.
At one time the bar had been a warehouse. A bar was built downstairs and upstairs an apartment for the manager. Ramona bartended and managed the place for the owner. The floorplan was wide open with a platform surrounded by four freestanding walls open at the top where her sister’s bedroom was located. She called to Ramona but still there was no answer.
Skylar ran up the steps, calling her sister’s name. She got to the top just as a bare chested Brett was buttoning his jeans. Ramona was covering her nakedness with the blankets on her bed.
Skylar’s mouth hung open in surprise. “Well this is a surprise.”
Then it all started making sense. He was always harassing her younger sister. Teasing her to spark her ire because he liked her. Ramona wouldn’t give Brett the time of day which only spurred him on.
Then Skylar turned and went down the stairs she had just come up. She felt so stupid. How had she not seen what Brett was feeling for her sister? Walking in on them; her face flushed red with embarrassment. She shouldn’t have just walked into Ramona’s apartment. Ramona could have been here with any man but it was Brett.
Skylar had to admit as she ran out the door that she was too blinded by her own selfishness to see what Brett was feeling. She had always relied on him to make her feel better but she had never stopped to see what he might be feeling or needing.
“Skylar,” Brett shouted. He came down the steps behind her and caught her at the door to her truck. “What the fuck Skylar? You’re barefoot and in your pajamas. What’s wrong?”
“I needed to escape my house. Luka is there with Ava. He stayed the night because I was throwing up after we left the pond. Then Tag came over this morning and I broke it off with him. He was hurt. I’ve made such a mess of everything Brett. I just needed my sister.”
Brett pulled her into his arms. “I’m sorry Sky.”
She laced her arms around Brett’s neck. They both heard the door slam shut to Ramona’s apartment. Sky removed her arms and took a step back. “Is Ramona the girl you spoke about last night?” She asked Brett. He licked his lips and looked everywhere but at her.
“Looks like she’s ready to give you a chance. Go back inside to my sister if she’s the one that you have wanted for all these years. You deserve it. I’m sorry I always rely on you. I feel like I have never actually been there for you.”
“You’re wrong,” he told her. “So wrong. Sky, we’ve known each other since we were five and started kindergarten together. I don’t know why we clicked the way we did but we did. You’ll always be important to me Sky and I can’t change that. The girl I end up with just have to understand that and you have supported me when I’ve needed you. You just didn’t realize it.”
Skylar hugged Brett again. “I appreciate that Brett. Please go back inside to my sister. Show her she is most important right now. If I know Ramona, the longer you stay out here with me the higher she’ll build her walls to keep you out.”
He nodded. “Let me know you’re all right.”
“I will. Tell me how it goes with Ramona.”
He nodded. Then Brett turned and ran back up the stairs to th
e loft where Ramona had slammed the door in anger. Anger at her or Brett, Skylar didn’t know. She needed to talk to her sister at some point and see what she was feeling exactly. To reassure her as Brett always had Luka that they were just friends.
Then she started up the truck and headed back home. She was nearly to the ranch when the flashing red and blue lights came on. She looked down at the speedometer and then up in the rear view mirror. Finally, she pulled over. Her seat belt was on and she wasn’t speeding.
“Hi Isaac, “Skylar said to the officer approaching suddenly uncomfortable with the fact that she wasn’t wearing clothes. She also didn’t have her license with her at the moment. She hoped that Isaac didn’t ask for one.
“So Sky, how are you?”
“I wasn’t speeding Isaac. Was there a reason you pulled me over?”
“Sky, you pissed somebody off. I just wanted to warn you that we’ve been told if we catch you going one mile over the limit we’re to pull you over and ticket you.”
She knew who had told the officers of Haley Cove to do that. Tag was going to be vindictive because she didn’t return his feelings. Skylar, Brett and Isaac were in the same class together all through school. Tag was two years older. She shook her head sadly and glanced out the window at Isaac. “I get it. Thanks for the warning.”
He nodded. “Have a nice day Sky. Next time you decide to leave the house you might want to get dressed,” he teased her. She just sighed. Then he sauntered back to his car and climbed inside. Isaac turned off his lights and waited for her to pull away from the side of the road.
Skylar gave him one last look then she drove back onto the street and headed home. Home, where Luka Shaw waited with their daughter Ava.
**
Luka was trying to pay attention to Ava but his mind was on her mother. He couldn’t figure out where she went dressed in her pajamas with no driver’s license and no shoes on her feet. He couldn’t understand what had happened that made her run. She only did that when she was upset.
Skylar had always run to him though. When her mother said something upsetting to her. Skylar ran to him. When her father turned his back to her pain Skylar ran to Luka for comfort. Him or Brett. Maybe she went to Brett?
