by Lee Wardlow
She had never experienced that kind of pain until their parents were killed. Then she was scared too because she had three sisters under eighteen to care for and a child that was practically a newborn.
“At first I wasn’t sure you would survive either but then you did really good, Skylar. I know Aunt Meg helped the first eight months until you turned eighteen but most of the responsibility fell on you. I know that. That was a lot for an eighteen-year-old.” Ramona looked at her. “Let’s be honest, you never really got to be a kid. You were always taking care of us and Ava.”
“I just wanted us to stay together. You, Roxy and Chloe were all that I had besides Ava.”
“And Brett,” Ramona said.
Skylar turned back to the sink. “I wish you could understand how I feel about him.”
Ramona sighed. “I guess I do to some degree.” She handed her sister another plate to put in the dishwasher.
“Do you care for Brett?”
“Do you care for Luka?”
Skylar handed Ramona another plate. “Luka and I had our chance a long time ago. You and Brett haven’t had your chance yet.”
“I don’t know about that,” Ramona argued.
“I do.”
She handed Ramona the last plate and began wiping down the counters and stove. They still hadn’t resolved anything because they were both stubborn Bradford women.
Luka was on his way to the kitchen to get Ava something to drink when he heard Skylar’s last remark to Ramona. He leaned against the door and took it all in. He turned and left without Ava’s glass of milk.
Luka and I had our chance.
The words played over in his head. Luka had to find a way to convince Skylar that they still had a chance. She is why he came home. His bank account was full. He had self-respect. He could take care of her and Ava if he never worked another day in his life. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy convincing Skylar that he was back for good. That he wanted her still. There wasn’t another woman that could replace her. No woman ever would.
If he allowed himself Luka could see the hurt. he had caused Skylar and it was a difficult pill to swallow. He sat by Brett who looked at him confused. “You forgot Ava’s drink,” he told him.
“The ladies were talking.” He didn’t give his brother any more information about what he had heard.
“Daddy, I thought you were getting me a drink.” Ava turned away from the television.
“Uncle Brett is going to get it for you,” Luka said.
“Why me?” Luka gazed at his brother with a look that had made other men want to pee their pants when locked inside a cage with him. Brett just shook his head. “I’ll get it Ava,” he said.
Brett went to the kitchen to get Ava’s drink. The two sisters were talking quietly. He cleared his throat. He didn’t listen in as Luka had. “Ava needs a glass of milk.”
“I’ll get it for her,” Skylar told him.
She filled a glass and started towards the door where Brett stood silently, trying to determine what he was supposed to do. Skylar pushed him toward Ramona then she stepped into the hallway and listened in.
She knew it was wrong but she couldn’t help herself. Skylar wanted both her sister and Brett to be happy and she thought they could be happy together. She was listening to them talk quietly in the kitchen. Skylar could barely hear them. She inched closer to the doorway trying not to be seen. They were actually being nice to each other. She saw that Brett had his hands at Ramona’s waist. This was going really well.
Skylar smiled. She waited longer while holding Ava’s cup in her hand to see what would happen next. An arm went around her waist and another hand grabbed hers encircling Ava’s cup to keep Skylar from dropping it. “What are you doing?”
Luka’s breathe was warm against her ear. She didn’t want to look at him. She didn’t want to see his beautiful eyes up close knowing how they had always made her feel. She closed her eyes to keep from doing so. Her resolve where he was concerned was weakening and she didn’t like it.
He listened himself. “Nosy,” he called her. “In the living room. Now. Ava is thirsty.”
She finally glanced up into his face. He smiled at her and the dimple that was in his right cheek deepened. His jaw was covered in whiskers because he hadn’t shaved for a few days, she guessed. “What?” He asked looking down on her. His voice was soft, pulling her in.
She shook her head, clearing it of the tantalizing thoughts that were rapidly invading her addled brain. There was no other excuse that she could come up with that would allow her to think anything about him that could be good for her. This relationship had to be about Ava. “Nothing,” she finally replied. “I’m taking this to Ava.”
Skylar slipped out of Luka’s arms and walked down the hall until she reached the living room. She handed the glass to Ava. Luka walked in behind her and took a seat in the recliner where she had been sitting. She went to the sofa and sat beside Dalton.
He put his arm around her shoulders, teasing Luka. She smiled up at him. She was relaxed and calm with Dalton. Luka wanted her to be like this with him again. He wanted her to be like this with him always. He watched her until she finally gave in and her eyes met his. He smiled at her. “Ready to go home?” He asked.
She shook her head yes but inside her head, she was screaming no. This was too familiar. Too much like a family. The family they had dreamed of as teenagers. Skylar rose from the sofa and tapped Ava on the shoulder. She was so engrossed in the television she didn’t know they were leaving. “Tell Grammy, your uncles and aunt goodnight. We’re heading home.”
“Ah Momma. Do we have to leave so soon? My show will be over in thirty minutes.”
“We aren’t staying that long. I have to get up in the morning Ava.”
Ava got up huffing at her mother but made her rounds telling everyone goodbye. Brett and Ramona came from the kitchen with Ava after she went to tell them goodbye. They had decided to leave with the three of them.
Skylar climbed in the front seat with Luka after she made sure that Ava was buckled in the back. Her daughter was ten. She didn’t need checked and Ava looked at her like she had lost her mind but it gave Skylar a few extra minutes before she sat beside Luka in the front seat of the truck.
She was quiet riding to the ranch with Luka and Ava. Skylar was lost in her own thoughts. Luka parked in the drive and grabbed his suitcase. He carried it to his new room while Skylar walked Ava to her room where she changed into pajamas. Skylar perched on the bed. When she was changed Ava walked to her mother. “What’s wrong Momma?” Ava took her hands in hers.
“Nothing baby. Why?”
“You seem sad.”
“I’m not. Want to get your dad so he can tell you goodnight too?”
She nodded. Skylar knew the happiness on her daughter’s face made up for the pain she was experiencing having him so close. She waited while Ava went to find Luka. They returned holding hands. Just having that image of the two of them returning to Ava’s room, his big hand holding her little hand made everything right. This was for Ava. She had to keep reminding herself of that.
Skylar rose from the bed as Luka scooped up their daughter and laid her gently on the bed. Ava snuggled under the covers and Luka leaned over to kiss her. Then he stepped back so that Skylar could kiss her too. She turned and left the room. Luka watched her leave without a word.
Chapter 7
Luka went downstairs to grab a bite to eat. He was always hungry at this time of night. It took a lot of fuel for his massive frame. He was going to have find a place to work out in town. Just because he wasn’t fighting didn’t mean he didn’t need to stay physically fit.
He fixed a ham and cheese sandwich then sat down at the island in the kitchen. In just his shorts he glanced around the kitchen. Little had changed about this room. It was still painted the same color probably touched up since the time he had been here.
The walls in the other rooms were adorned with pictures something Nancy wouldn�
�t have allowed. Some colors had changed and furniture was different. So many memories.
The last time he was here. He had sat in the living room with Skylar on a different sofa watching television until well after midnight. Luka laid his sandwich on the plate and closed his eyes remembering. She was leaning back against his chest. His arm was wrapped around her waist. She was sleepy. She kept yawning but she didn’t want him to leave.
He hadn’t wanted to go either. He had known that he was leaving that night as soon as he got home. His stuff was in the back of his truck. He just wanted to go home and see his mother before he left town.
Skylar walked him to the door. He leaned down and kissed her sweet lips. In his head, he was promising her he would come back for her but he said nothing. She had even asked him if everything was okay.
He held her tightly to him for a brief second. He lied to her then. “I’ll see you tomorrow babe at four o’clock.”
He remembered the first conversation with Brett after he had been gone for a while. He had to know if she was all right. She wasn’t. Sky was devastated. The first week she wouldn’t even get out of bed. Brett had gone over every day and sat with her just to talk to her. She was inconsolable his brother had told him. The second week she was just going through the motions, hardly eating or talking to anyone. He almost went back home but he hadn’t so he didn’t learn about the baby that she carried.
He rose from the barstool and dropped the quarter piece of his sandwich that was left in the trash. He downed the rest of his water and put the glass in the sink.
Walking through the semi-darkened house he headed up the stairs. He couldn’t help himself, Luka stopped outside Skylar’s door. He laid his forehead against the hard, unforgiving wood, remembering, thinking how different things could have been.
When he called home Luka gave his mom his phone number. He had a phone now where Luna could reach him. After that conversation with Brett, Skylar was on his mind all the time. He was worried about her.
A month later, his mother had called him telling him her parents were dead. He spent a couple days worrying about her. Wondering. He had almost called Skylar himself. He knew if he did, he would have gone home to her. What he was trying to find would never be found.
He was shaking his head back and forth. Regret filled him. He had fucked up. If he had picked up that phone and called her, would she have told him Ava? His daughter was only a month old then.
Then he heard her through the solid, oak door. Skylar was crying. Luka started to walk away. Her tears were breaking his heart. He stopped a few feet heading towards his own room and glanced over his shoulder. Then he returned to the spot where he had been standing in front of her room, unsure of what to do.
Luka turned the knob and went into her room. Skylar hadn’t heard him yet. Her back was to him. Quietly he shut the door behind him. He could hear her crying even louder now without the door to separate them.
He noticed that she was wearing those damn, skimpy shorts and tank top pajamas she was so fond of. He stepped across the room and hovered by the side of the bed. Sky still didn’t realize he was in her room.
He ran his fingers through his hair unsure of what he was doing in here. Luka knew she wouldn’t want him. Not yet. Then he sat on the bed startling her. She turned over onto her side facing him. The room was dark but he could see the wetness on her face in the minimal light the moon provided. She didn’t know what to say about him being in her bed. He could see that she was startled. Skylar stared at Luka.
He just wanted to comfort her. Luka pulled her into his arms and held her close. She was stiff at first but he held her anyway. He wasn’t going to give up on her or them.
Slowly, he felt her body relax into his. He embraced her harder. Luka could feel her tears wetting his bare chest. Damn if he knew what else to do but hold her. “Why did you leave me Luka?”
He kissed her forehead. He decided to do it while he had the chance. He laid on his back and snuggled her into his side. She actually put her head on his chest and ran her fingers over his ribs. He couldn’t help but wonder what she was thinking.
“I had to Sky.” His voice was hoarse. He was fighting his own wall of emotion threatening to consume him. Coming home and finding Ava, his little mini-me had about crushed him. The last few days were threatening to crash in on him.
He was filled with so much damn regret. Then anger. Hurt again. A barrage of emotions kept overwhelming him. He couldn’t blame Sky though. He had left her in the night without a word. He had broken her. He knew that now. “My biggest fear was ending up like the old man stuck in this town with a chip on my shoulder always worrying about the ranch and whether it would turn a profit this year.”
“Your mom has done well with what he left her.”
He chuckled. “I know. That’s Mom. She could turn dirt into gold.” She actually had done better with the farm than his old man had.
“She can. She only farmed for about six years after you left then she just decided enough was enough. She quit. Said she had enough to keep her the rest of her life.”
“I’m glad,” he replied to Skylar. His mother had worked hard her whole life. It made him happy to see her enjoying herself for a change.
She tilted her head up and looked at him. Her eyes were still glistening with tears. “Did you ever think of me?”
“Every single day,” he assured her. Luka cupped her face in his hands. “I told you I came home for you Sky. Once I made a plan to come home, I counted the days until I could see you again. Hold you just like this. Don’t you know Sky? You will never belong to anyone but me. You have to know that by now?” His voice was husky and his words emotional. He wanted her to believe in him again like she did when she was sixteen.
They were quiet for a moment.
“I called about six, seven months after I left,” he told her.
“And,” she replied.
“I gave Mom my number and I asked about you. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I had to know how you were.”
He stopped talking for a moment. He was thinking about that time. Where he was in his plans for his future. His goals. What he was doing to get there. “I knew they were keeping something from me. I could feel it. I worried for days about you. I almost came home then but I knew I still had a long way to get what I wanted and if I came home I’d never do that so I stayed where I was.”
“I already had Ava. That is what they were hiding from you Luka.”
He nodded. “They hadn’t heard from me in months so Mom was a little pissed at me. I hadn’t really settled anywhere so I didn’t have a phone until then. Mom told me, I could have called her collect to let her know I was alive.
“Then I talked to Brett. I knew if anyone really knew how you were, he did. He didn’t sugarcoat anything for me. He said the first week you didn’t get out of bed.” Skylar’s hand stopped moving across his chest. He laid his hand on hers. “That was hard to hear,” he admitted.
“Still you didn’t come home.”
“By then, you were doing better. I had just found the MMA world and was getting a few fights. Not much. Working a couple jobs in between. My intention was to come back and get you when you turned eighteen. I didn’t want to live my life without you, Sky.”
“But you didn’t.”
“No,” he replied. “I didn’t.”
Too much time had gone by. He knew that he had hurt her. Brett had told him that Skylar was closed off, but better. She was training horses and doing a damn good job of it.
“Brett told me you had taken over your dad’s horse training business by the time you turned eighteen and a half. You were good too. I thought you had found yourself so I let you be. I still asked about you every time that I called, every month of every year that I was gone. I just needed to know that you were all right. Skylar, did you think of me?”
She was so still he wondered if she had fallen asleep. “I used to dream of you Luka,” she finally told him. “I would wake in the ni
ght and realize that you were just in my dreams. You were still gone. In the daylight, I was able to bury you so the pain didn’t hurt quite so bad but at night…I just couldn’t seem to do that.”
“You have to know how sorry I am Sky.”
“You know after all these years Luka I still can’t believe that you just left me.” The catch in her voice wasn’t missed by him.
His fingers were brushing lazily over her shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant? You had to be pretty far along.” He was still confused about that.
She sighed. Her breath was warm against his skin. “I ignored it for the first month when I didn’t get my period. I didn’t want to believe that I could possibly be pregnant. We always used condoms.”
He nodded. Luka could understand her overwhelming feelings. She was only sixteen at the time. A junior in high school.
“By the second month, I had to face reality. I was most likely pregnant. I didn’t want to tell anyone. Not Mom and Dad and not you. I knew how you would react.”
“How did you think I would react?” He asked.
“Luka, we had talked a lot. I knew how you felt about working the farm with your dad. A nowhere job. You felt you had no future in Haley Cove. I honestly wasn’t surprised that you left town. I was just surprised that you left me behind. I thought our love was stronger than that. I thought you couldn’t live without me. I thought we would be together forever.”
He had missed her so much that first year. So many times he almost went home to see her. She was still only seventeen. He would have just had to leave her again and he couldn’t do that. He wasn’t strong enough. “I did miss you. I laid in bed every night and thought about nothing but you. I ached for you, Sky.”
“Not so much Luka or you would have come back for me,” she declared. She sat up wrapped her arms around her knees.
“What would you have done?” He asked. He yanked her back and moved over her so he was looking down on her. His hand was at her waist holding her. “Can you honestly say you would have welcomed me home?”
Her eyes were boring into his. “How can I know what I would have done ten years ago Luka? You never gave me the opportunity to make any decision. You made them all for us. I can only say it would have been a lot easier then, than it is now.”
