She was thinking about how great she would feel as a mother or a wife. She thought about what she was missing in her own life. It wasn’t until the lady returned with her shoes that she remembered that being any of those ladies would likely not afford her the opportunity to just come to the mall on a lovely Saturday afternoon with no kids in tow, like she could, and shop without any regard for someone else or the “responsibilities of life.” So, at that moment, she realized that she would rather be just who she was—a young, single, not lonely, successful woman with no children just yet. She knew that with all great things comes sacrifice, and she had chosen hers long ago. And when she tried on that pine-green shoe and strutted across the floor to the mirror, she was that much more assured that she was living the right life for her.
Madison had both pairs of shoes in a shopping bag and was making her way out of Nordstrom and on to the next store when she started to feel better about everything, including the tiff with Jamahl. All the women passing her appeared miserable suddenly. They were either struggling to look at something while watching their child or they were trying to hurry as their husbands rushed them along. Madison, on the other hand, was taking her precious time trying on everything she felt would look great on her at her high-powered job.
Chapter 5
He was taller than he looked on television, and his smile and flawless skin weren’t the result of airbrushing for the magazines: he was gorgeous. As soon as Madison looked up and saw him walking toward her, along with two familiar faces and two strange ones, she put on her friendly face.
“Hey, Maddie, this is Johnny Polytics, our new artist on Intheloop Records. Johnny, this is Madison, the program director,” Kristin, the Intheloop rep, said.
Madison was dressed in dark blue, fitted skinny jeans and a navy-blue-and-white Akademiks T-shirt.
“Hello, there,” Madison said as she reached out to shake Polytics’s hand.
“Nice to meet you. I really go by Polytics,” he replied.
“Nice to meet you as well,” Madison said.
“Thank you for supporting the new record so heavily,” he said.
“Thank you for making a hit—that’s what we play here at Drama Ninety-Nine, so it’s my pleasure.”
“Well, thanks for considering a hit so early on before the rest of America caught on.”
“Again, no problem. I’ve been doing this for quite some time. I know a hit when I hear one.”
“Well, that’s good to know. I may have to find a way to get you on my payroll to have you sit with me in the studio and pick my hits.”
“Whoa,” Kristin interrupted. “Let’s not make those jokes, especially not in public or so loud.”
The three of them giggled, but Polytics didn’t take his eyes off Madison, not even for a second.
Polytics had the hottest single on the East Coast airwaves. There was no secret that all his prior success on the street underground level was about to pay off big-time. Every time you opened a magazine or turned on your television, you saw his face or something about him—never mind that one of his songs was played on the radio every thirty minutes. He was large in stature, and his celebrity status had escalated overnight. It was no coincidence that one of his first stops as an established success would be Drama 99 FM. This radio station was where all artists wanted to be if they could.
Everyone passing Madison’s office recognized him instantly but tried not to stare. Not that you couldn’t notice him—he had an attention-grabbing physique and aura, and the fact that he was dripped in diamonds didn’t make him any more low key. Madison didn’t feel that comfortable as he eyeballed her, and decided she should put an end to their powwow. He was fine, and under different circumstances, she would have turned on her flirtometer, but this wasn’t the time nor the place…or the person.
“So you are going to do an interview with our afternoon radio queen?” she jumped in.
“I thought you were doing the interview,” Polytics said with a grin.
“Oh, no, not me. I sit back here and run things, and the talented Miss Ivy does the interviews.”
“Oh, that’s too bad. I thought we were going to get the chance to chat it up and get to know each other better.”
“Well, we will have plenty of chances for that behind the scenes,” Madison said.
“I’d like that,” Polytics said.
“Well, off the air, rather,” Madison said, realizing that “behind the scenes” didn’t sound so great.
“Gotcha,” he said.
People from the department were walking around not too far away from them, picking up faxes and going from office to office, but it was as though Polytics didn’t even notice. He was totally giving Madison his undivided attention. Kristin cut her eyes back and forth between the two of them to see if she could pick up a vibe, and Madison noticed that her own responses weren’t helping the matter any. She almost couldn’t help it. His charm and swagger were turned up to the trillions, and she didn’t want to back down. She had to force herself to snap out of it and just begin to walk away.
“Well, first things first. We need to take care of business, and you guys have to be on air in less than five minutes, so how about you go back to the studio and get settled?” she said as she headed back into her office.
She didn’t even look back at Polytics, and she hadn’t given any fair warning that she was about to make an exit. She had to take control of the situation. She knew Kristin would get the hint and know where to take him.
“OK, we’ll see you in a few,” Kristin said.
Kristin and Polytics headed back to the studio together. A few of the station staff were in their path and quickly moved out of the way. If there was one music business rule most of the staff grasped and lived by, it was the “don’t be a groupie” rule. It didn’t matter how much you loved the person’s music or talents, you were not to stare and be a nuisance to the celebrities. So to avoid looking like they were paying Mr. Polytics any mind, they scurried out of his way, almost pretending they didn’t even know who he was.
Once he walked away, Alexis looked at Madison and then looked away.
“What?” Madison laughed with a full-fledged smile on her face.
“Nothing,” Alexis replied with an equally obvious grin.
“Whatever,” Madison said. “Y’all folks need to get your minds out of the gutter.”
“I didn’t say anything,” Alexis said as she turned away and began typing on her computer.
Alexis wasn’t sure if Madison was joking or a bit upset—it was hard to tell with her. Madison was moody; at certain times in the day she was mad cool, and then at others she was just an absolute bitch. Alexis decided to act like she hadn’t seen any of that flirtation because the last thing she wanted was her name in the middle of any he-said-she-said.
The “industry,” as it was often referred to, had an unspoken code. The code was that everything was to be kept a secret, especially from those not in the industry. As Jay-Z stated in one of his hit songs, “It’s a secret society, all we ask is trust, and within a week, watch your arm freeze up.” Most people obeyed because it was the world they were privy to; it was a privilege to be appreciated. People dreamed and died to be a part of the music business, so, for most, once you were in, you weren’t to take it for granted. Yet there was more than enough gossip to go around—way more than what actually became public knowledge. The industry was filled with sex, drugs, and rock and roll—literally. There really was no code of conduct, and that was why there was a scandal every way you turned—enough to write a book.
Alexis wondered if the people on the outside knew that the industry wasn’t all it seemed, if they would still want in so bad. If they knew that hanging with the stars and having access to some of entertainment’s most glamorous events meant nothing at the end of the day, would they still envy her for being in the industry? If they knew that dealing with a bunch of egos and the fraternity mentality of the industry could make you want to stab someone, wo
uld they still spend their entire careers trying to get a job among the business?
Madison was back in her office by the time Polytics got off air, and she was hoping he and his escorts wouldn’t make their way back into programming, because she didn’t want another awkward moment. She was able to roll with the punches, but not in the middle of her department in front of her staff. Behind closed doors, she could show him she wasn’t one of the little girls he was used to impressing. Moments passed, and there was still no sign of Polytics, so she figured he had gone ahead to his next business stop. She continued looking through the Billboard magazine to see what songs were climbing the charts and didn’t notice at all that Jocelyn, the new music director, had stepped in.
“Maddie,” she said.
“Yes,” she said as she looked up.
“We are going to have a little problem. Trait’s record is number one on the 106 & Park countdown, and it’s playing heavy on the station down the dial.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“We may have to get on this record, but if we put it in now, are we going to look late?”
“Who said we have to put it in because other people are playing it? We are Drama Ninety-Nine—we play what we play, and we decide what’s a hit.”
From the look on Jocelyn’s face, Madison could tell she wanted to say something else but was hesitant to challenge her.
“Listen, Jocelyn, that is not a problem. If we decide to play it because we think our audience will like it, we will play it.”
“OK,” she said as she began to head out of the office.
Madison felt a little bad that she’d been a little rough on her, but she knew she had to teach her how things worked in the New York market. Jocelyn had only been there for a couple months and was still caught up in the glitz and glamour of the New York market. She was talented and knew radio, but Madison had been trying to get her to see it was not going to be as easy as it had been in Philadelphia. Prior to her being hired, the acting music director, Keith, had been keeping things in order for Madison, but he hadn’t been completely ready to take on all the responsibilities of the job, so Madison had brought Jocelyn on board. So although she didn’t mean to come off like a witch, she knew she had to keep grooming her. Besides, Madison hated that she called her Maddie—she was her staff, and she didn’t want her getting that comfortable.
One thing Madison’s position called for was leadership and management skill, but as a woman it also called for fear. As a woman she was tested way more than the men in her position were, so Madison had to constantly keep her law laid down so people knew not to mess with her. She didn’t like to always be labeled the ball breaker, but she knew that was how she kept her staff under control. The fact that Polytics had made her vulnerable in front of everyone didn’t help, so she had to quickly erase those thoughts; a little ball busting was a quick and easy way to do so.
Chapter 6
“I’m getting married,” Hannah said.
Reyna heard the words, but she took a minute to respond. Her mind computed it, and instantly, she felt happiness, jealousy, anger, joy, sadness, and fifty other feelings all at once. She was happy for Hannah—God knew Hannah deserved some happiness in her life—but Reyna couldn’t help but wonder why she herself wasn’t engaged yet. What in the hell was taking her boyfriend so long? She had been with him way longer than half the married couples she even knew. It was times like these she wondered why she was still dealing with his crap. Then again it was times like these that reminded her why, because if she ever wanted to walk down the aisle anytime soon, she couldn’t waste time starting over with some new guy. Dang, her options sucked, and she knew it, and for that matter, so did her boyfriend. She wished she had the guts to just say to hell with it and leave his ass for making her wait so many years for him to pop the question. She worried deep down that by the time he did, she would have so much resentment in her heart, it wouldn’t be quite the fairy tale anyway.
“Congratulations,” Reyna blurted out as if that had been her sole thought and reaction.
“Thanks. Jerry asked me yesterday while we were at dinner.”
“Aw, how sweet!”
“I love the ring, too. He did a great job,” Hannah replied.
Laughing, Reyna said, “Well, that always helps the proposal.”
“Yeah, girl. You are next, I’m sure.”
Reyna hated that fake sympathy—she saw right through it. That was an “I expect you to be jealous” comment. Thing is, what Hannah didn’t know was that Reyna didn’t want to marry just anybody like Hannah or a lot of her friends did, she wanted to marry the man she loved and had been with for nine long years. She didn’t envy Hannah’s engagement, because Reyna knew she herself couldn’t have told Jerry yes—if she were Hannah—after all the dirt he had done to her. So at the end of the day, Reyna preferred to wait for her man to propose than to have to settle like a lot of people. At the end of the day, that was Reyna’s bright side. She felt as though she truly did have that rare true love she barely saw in most relationships, and she was happy that Michael hadn’t ruined that yet.
Once she got off the phone, Reyna instantly realized how hard she had been on Michael. After she’d gotten home from Wal-Mart the day of their argument, he had apologized and explained that he hadn’t meant it the way it had come out. The very next day he’d bought the dual hampers and added his-and-her hooks in the closets. When she came home from work, he’d had a candlelit dinner waiting. She really never did tell Michael how much she appreciated him, and she knew she could be a bit overbearing. She knew they shared something more special than most couples, including the newly dating and married couples. She wanted to stop holding against him the fact that he had his own agenda—how could she blame him when she did, too? Of course, she would have been happier if their two agendas were perfectly aligned, but she knew she couldn’t fault him because they weren’t.
Some guys didn’t propose just to propose and then still cheat and act single. Some guys didn’t wait until they were old, had nothing left to offer, and then propose to the one girl who had invested so much in them they wouldn’t mind going ahead and marrying them. Some guys took marriage seriously, and Michael happened to be one of those guys. He wasn’t going to rush into marriage, because he knew he wanted a lot of things to be right before he did that, and Reyna didn’t want to hold that against him. At least, that was how she felt today at that moment—she just hoped she could remember this feeling next time she thought of her wedding day or saw that gorgeous engagement ring she had been waiting for.
Reyna took out her phone and dialed Michael.
“Hey, babe,” she said once he answered.
“Hey, Rey,” he replied.
His tone didn’t have as much excitement as hers, but that was OK—she felt like she’d just had an epiphany.
“Hey…I just wanted to apologize to you.”
“Apologize for what?”
“For giving you such a hard time when you were just being honest.”
Michael didn’t say anything, as though he was fishing for a setup.
“I know we have been having a rough time lately because we haven’t been seeing eye to eye. I do feel we need to figure out how to compromise more, and you need to be more sensitive to my feelings, but I, too, need to do the same.”
“OK, I feel you,” Michael said.
Reyna wasn’t going to let his demeanor discourage her efforts.
“Really, Michael, I know marriage isn’t everything. I also know there are empty marriages all over this world, and there are cheating and disrespectful spouses everywhere you look, so, obviously, vows and a ring don’t make a couple special. What two people share—the history and the love and the common goal to stand the tests of time—are what make a couple special, and that’s what I want.”
Something must have registered because suddenly Michael opened up some.
“Rey, no one said we won’t have the marriage and the kids. We will. I just
don’t see why that is most important. I have seen a lot of my fellas move too fast and mess up their relationships. I know that what we have is forever, so there is no major rush. We still have a lot to accomplish and figure out before we go adding more to our plates.”
Reyna was tempted to challenge him and state how marriage wouldn’t make things any different, but maybe even better. Instead she chose against it. She knew they had different points of view on this, and it was about time she heard his view with an open mind for once.
“I understand,” she limited herself to saying.
“We will get married, and when we do we are going to have a fabulous life and grow old together. My architecture firm will be established by then and will have gone public; you will have a permanent position at the hospital. We will be more stable to sustain the house we want and support the children we want. I just want us to do this right.”
Reyna thought to say, This is right. Let’s just start this great life now. Why wait? My eggs won’t last forever. Tomorrow isn’t promised. Instead she held her tongue and remained silent.
“You deserve the best, and I just want to give it to you. We are still young. We have time. Let’s just enjoy this time we have now, and when the rest of our life together unfolds, we will enjoy that, too.”
Reyna had to admit that the things Michael was saying were quite convincing. In many ways she knew if and when they had been married for several years with some noisy kids running around, she would miss the days of spontaneity and less responsibility. She was being like the preteen girls who just couldn’t wait to grow up, and then when they were twenty-nine wished they could have back some of those years of carefree youth. She took what he was saying, and knowing she had been that preteen girl at one point, reminded herself why she had called in the first place. She had called because Hannah’s bragging actually had made her appreciate what she had even more, and she wanted to tell him that.
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