But then, Rafe’s father pulled back. His own eyes shone with tears, though. More emotion than I even knew the man could show. He looked full of pride and love for his son, and if I wasn’t mistaken, his bottom lip quivered in his attempt to hold back even more.
He swallowed hard and then looked around the room, as if only now remembering he had a larger audience. He took a deep breath and stood taller. “Rafe Jackson has also passed his Initiation with flying colors. I couldn’t be more proud to pass on my robes to this man or to call him son.”
With that, his dad pulled off his own robe, much like Montgomery had. While he wasn’t wearing a shirt, at least he still wore his suit pants, thank God.
Rafe’s eyes were still wet as his father glared in defiance at anyone who might naysay him as he then settled the robe around his son. Then he held up Rafe’s hand, high into the air. “The Order of the Silver Ghost welcomes its newest member, Rafe Jackson!”
All around the room, canes started stomping the white floor beneath us until the room was a roar of echoing cane pounding.
My chest flushed with warmth for Rafe. Yes, he was a member, but more, he had his father’s love, he was set free of guilt for his brother’s death, and I hoped, I prayed, he had a future he could now look to where he could explore that freedom and love to its fullest.
Maybe even with me by his side, now that I was finally free, too.
And as if he’d heard my thoughts, he turned to me, and said the one thing I’d always longed to hear from him. Not that he wanted to write me a check, or marry me, or even that he was determined to protect me.
No, he said the simplest and most profound words one human can say to another: “I love you, Fallon Perry.”
And then he kissed the living daylights out of me.
I kissed him back with all the joy flooding my heart.
19
Fallon
It was over. It was all over. I couldn’t believe it.
But here Rafe and I were, packing up to go home. We’d passed the test. We’d won.
And I was just sitting stunned on the bed while Rafe hustled around the room gathering both of our things and stuffing them in our suitcases. He wanted out of here as soon as humanly possible.
I wasn’t sure why I didn’t feel the same.
Maybe because I was a daughter of this place.
I’d literally been conceived underneath this roof, regardless of the circumstances. I finally knew the truth. All the missing puzzle pieces were finally in place.
The picture they created wasn’t pretty or neat.
But like some of my paintings with discordant colors and images that weren’t immediately recognizable, my life was beautiful when seen in its fullness.
It was perfect, even.
I was perfect. Perfect in my brokenness, in my jagged edges, in my softness, in my anger and sorrow and rage, and perfect in my joy.
Right now, this very moment, looking at the man I’d always loved more than anyone else in the world—even before he was a man when we were both children—it was perfect.
“Hey.” I reached out and grabbed his wrist as he reached over to get his sleep shirt he’d cast off at the bottom of the bed. “Sit with me a minute.”
His eyebrows arched. “Babe, I want outta this place. The sooner the better. Before they change their minds and decide to foist some other fucked up task on us.”
I gave him a puppy dog face. “Pretty please? Just for a minute? Sixty seconds, tops.”
He laughed and sat down beside me. “You know I could never deny you.”
His thigh was warm beside mine. I had leggings and a long t-shirt on, but I might as well have been naked for the sparks that zinged up through my stomach at the contact.
Maybe he felt something similar, because his hands immediately came up to cradle my face. He dropped his forehead against mine and his whispered breath warmed my lips. “God, I love you so much.”
Fuck, I didn’t know perfect before now.
I wrapped my arms around his neck. I urged his head back. “I’ve waited my whole life to hear you say that.”
His eyebrows scrunched. “And? Am I too late?”
My heart cracked and then smooshed. I shook my head. “Never.” Then I kissed him for all I was worth. I pulled back only to catch a breath and so I could finally tell him, “I love you, Rafe. I’ve always loved you. No one but you. Always you.”
He crushed me to him, and likely we would have started ditching the clothes we’d just put on if there hadn’t been a loud knock at the door, and without waiting barely a moment, Mrs. H then pushed in the door.
If she was surprised at finding us intertwined, she didn’t look nonplussed in the least. “All right, you two. There’ll be time enough for that later. I suggest you get a move on. Some of the Elders are feeling tetchy about the move you pulled, Rafe, and it’d be better if you got gone sooner rather than later.”
That had Rafe immediately jumping off the bed, his hand grasping mine firmly. “Time to go, babe.”
It was so dumb, but my insides totally lit up when he called me that. I grinned like a teenager as I hopped to my feet and helped him shove the rest of our stuff in our bags.
“Here are your phones back,” Mrs. H said. She handed us our phones. She winked at me and squeezed my fingers as she gave me mine. “You might want to take a minute to peek at your bank balance, lass. It’s already been processed.”
“Already?” My voice choked a little on the word.
She nodded, a gleam in her eye. She gave me a quick hug, then pulled back to do the same for Rafe before leaving.
Yes, I was happy for all the reconciliation between me and Rafe, plus finding out about my brother and finally getting all the answers I’d been seeking, but I was a practical girl. If my life was really going to change in the significant ways I’d always hoped for…
I clicked the bank app open, using my fingerprint to unlock it.
It was a good thing I had a good grip on the phone because—
Holy.
Shit.
I was rich.
I was a multi-millionaire.
I could comfortably buy my mom the house she’d always deserved, big square footage, backyard for days, garden, probably even a pool, and it would barely make a dent. I could buy her ten houses.
I started giggling. I couldn’t help it.
“Everything you’ve ever hoped for?” Rafe asked.
I tried to dim my smile but couldn’t. I didn’t care if it made me look like a gold digger. I’d always hated that term. And the thing was, now I could meet Rafe as an equal. I didn’t need his money or his charity or for him to marry me because he felt sorry for me.
It never would have been that way, that wasn’t who he was.
But maybe I couldn’t believe it until now. He could tell me how he felt until he was blue in the face, but until I believed it, it wouldn’t have mattered.
But now I was free. I was powerful.
Free and powerful to claim what I’d always wanted.
But Rafe looked sad. “So, this is it, I guess,” he said, looking down at the packed suitcases. “You’ll go your way and I’ll go another? Back to reality. Will you go back to Pasadena?”
I just laughed at that. I don’t think it was insecurity making him say it, just his attempt to not dictate to me like before when he’d offered to write me a check or asked me to marry him. He was trying, and it meant so much to me.
But I wasn’t afraid anymore. “No, I don’t think I’ll go back to California. Not just yet. I mean, maybe some of this art would be good for a show if I can contact some galleries and find one wishing to feature me.” I looked around the room at the paintings that were piled up, mostly by the door where Rafe had started gently stacking them.
I looked back into his eyes. “I just know that I want to be where you are. I’ve come home and I never want to leave again.” I reached out and took his hands so he would know that when I said “home,” I meant hi
m.
A huge grin slowly split across his face. “Just you wait, babe. I’m gonna make you Mrs. Jackson sooner or later.”
I laughed out loud at that and threw my arms around his neck. Just so he knew exactly how I felt about it, I hopped up and threw my legs around his waist, too, so that he was forced to support me from underneath my backside. He massaged my buttocks as he kissed me.
Well, golly, that sure felt good.
We were just really getting hot and heavy, Rafe pressing me against the nearest wall, when another loud banging came at the door. Bang bang bang bang.
I pulled away from Rafe with a gasp. Oh God, had Rafe been right, and this had only been a short reprieve until the sadistic games commenced again?
But then came a low, rumbling voice, “Hey, what are you doing with my little sister in there?”
Rafe looked to me and I hopped down from him and eagerly waved my hand, motioning him to let Montgomery in the door. Montgomery’s face lit up the second he saw me.
“Holy shit, sis,” Montgomery said. “I can’t believe we didn’t see it before. Look, we have the same nose!”
He grabbed me away from Rafe and pulled me into a full-body hug. I went willingly and squeezed him back as hard as I could. It was still surreal. Brother. I could barely wrap my head around the concept, much less the reality.
Meanwhile Rafe grabbed our bags and passed them to Montgomery. “Hey, man, will you help us carry our bags down to the car? There’s something I need to do before I leave.”
“For sure.” Montgomery started grabbing bags. He gave me one last kiss on the forehead, noticing the phone in my hand. “Oh good.” He put down the suitcases and took it from me, programming in his number. “Call us this week, I know Grace will want to meet you right away and we have so much to catch up on.”
All I could do was grin back at him like an idiot and nod. Then he was out the door. I looked back at Rafe. He was smiling too, but I noticed a crease in his forehead.
“What? What is it?”
“Nothing,” he said at first, pulling me in again, like he couldn’t stand to not be touching me for even a moment. Then he said, “Well, that’s not exactly true. I want to say goodbye to my brother before I go. He’s buried up at the cemetery on the hill.”
“Oh, hon,” I murmured.
“It’s okay,” he said, pulling back, and looking into his eyes, I believed him.
“I think I’m finally ready to say goodbye. He’ll always be with me, but what my dad said…” He breathed out heavily. “It’s like there’s been this weight on my chest all this time and it’s finally lifted. And I just, well I want to say goodbye the right way finally. Without all the bullshit in the way, you know?”
I wasn’t sure I could ever know or fully understand what he’d been through, but I nodded because I wanted him to know I’d always support him. Always, as long as he’d let me. And I hoped that would be a very long time indeed.
“See you down at the car. I’ll be waiting.”
He smiled at that. “You better be.”
“Always.”
He kissed me deep then, a kiss that promised a future full and bright.
Epilogue
Beau Radcliffe
I walked over to the window to try to keep my eyes off Abilene—something I struggled to do as every hour in the Oleander ticked by at an agonizingly slow pace. I knew the only way I was going to get through these days was to stay focused on the end game. No distractions. Chicks fucked things up for me in my life, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to allow this one to mess up what was the most important test ever.
The goal of the Order was to break the belle.
Not save the belle.
Not fall for the belle.
Not live happily ever with the belle.
We hadn’t been in the manor long, and I already found myself struggling, which wasn’t a good sign. I had questioned if I was cut out for this secret society shit, and nearly bowed out when my time came. But what would everyone think? Would my future be over? Would my family name be ruined?
No… I needed to focus on completing each and every Trial no matter what was thrown my way. Whatever was thrown our way.
Luckily, I saw a distraction down below my window. Rafe walked slowly toward the cemetery, and even though I knew his reason for doing so, I decided to leave our room for a quick minute and go say hello… or goodbye since I knew his Initiation was complete. Mrs. H had told me this morning that it would just be me and Abilene now, though she remained mum on the details.
“I’ll be right back,” I said to Abilene who read a book by the fire which I had a feeling was going to become her normal.
She looked up surprised. “Where are you going? We aren’t allowed to leave the room alone.”
“No,” I said as I quickly put on my shoes. “You, as the belle, aren’t supposed to leave. I’ll only be a second. I’m going to go say goodbye to my buddy.” I looked up and saw the news of being left alone upset her. “Don’t worry. I’ll only be a couple of minutes.”
Not waiting for her to argue or beg to come along, I quickly left the room, jogged down the hallway, and out of the house to catch up with Rafe who was nearly at the top of the hill.
As I approached where he stood in front of a grave, I overheard him talking and decided to give him the space to say what he came to say.
“I should have come here sooner,” Rafe said as he stood before Timothy’s headstone. “It was guilt that kept me away. I always thought it was me who put you here, and although I still wish I had picked up that fucking phone…”
He took a deep breath and paused for several moments. “Well, I did it. I passed the Initiation. I wanted to make Dad proud, and I wanted to honor your name. I hope I did. Can you believe it? I’m a member of The Order of the Silver Ghost. I’ll be wearing one of those cloaks and being part of it all.”
Rafe looked down at his feet and kicked at a root before adding, “I miss you, brother. I do. But I also have some news. Fallon Perry… remember her? Yeah, well you won’t believe it, but I love her.” He laughed. “Yeah, you always teased me for having a crush on her back when we were kids. And you were right as much as I hate to admit that you were. Anyway… I hope to have her in my life forever, and it gives me a sort of comfort knowing you knew her and would approve. I know you would approve.”
His voice hitched, and he looked up at the sky. “I fucking miss you.”
“He was a good man,” I said as I walked up to Rafe and put my hand on his shoulder in comfort. “I always looked up to Tim. I’m sure he would be really proud of the man you became.”
Rafe nodded. “He was a good man, and I hope so. I really do hope I served his memory well.” He then looked at me. “You escaped the den of vipers for a bit?”
I shrugged and put my hands in my pockets still staring at Tim’s headstone. “This shit is wild. I can tell you that. Nothing Sully told me prepared me for this.” I glanced at Rafe and added, “I’m happy you completed the Initiation. Congrats. I hope I can do the same.”
Rafe chuckled. “You’ve just begun. Trust me. It gets so much worse.”
“But you passed it, so that’s good.”
“I’m not sure how. There were times I nearly quit. Frankly, I owe a lot of it to Fallon. That girl kept me sane.”
“You are so lucky to have had someone you actually know as your belle. Being locked up with a complete stranger is bizarre. It’s like the worst blind date in history over and over again. I think it’s harder than the actual Trials have been.”
“How are you getting along with your belle?” Rafe asked.
“Okay… not like you and Fallon, but fine. She’s a good fuck and a hot piece of ass, so I guess I should consider myself lucky. But when these 109 days are over, I’m moving forward and not looking back.”
Rafe laughed and patted me on the shoulder blade. “You tell yourself whatever you want. There is no way in hell anyone can walk out of this place, enduring what we do
for so long, and not form some sort of connection. No way. That belle in there is going to fuck with your mind and with your heart. No use fighting it.”
“Your situation is different,” I said. “But I’m happy for you. Let’s hope the rest of us pass the Trials and not pull a Sully.”
“You got this,” Rafe encouraged as he turned to leave the cemetery. “I need to get going. Fallon’s waiting for me.”
I walked beside him, trying not to focus on the large manor before me. It reminded me of something Stephen King would write in one of his horror novels. The moment of fresh air and the break from it all made me feel normal again. Human.
“Do you want a piece of advice?” Rafe asked as we made it down the hill.
“Sure. Anything to help get past this.”
“Don’t be a dick.” He patted my back good-heartedly and smiled. “I know you. You don’t do relationships. You keep to yourself. And you can be a super dick. I say that with love, but being a dick isn’t going to help you or your belle. So, don’t be a dick.”
I smirked, and shoved Rafe playfully. “Got it. Don’t be a dick.” As we got closer to the manor, I asked the question I had been wanting to ask since I left the room. “Why do we do this? I mean… why do we care? Why is the Order so important?”
“Inherited malice,” Rafe said simply. “It’s in our blood. No choice.”
* * *
Want a bonus scene of a dark initiation ritual between Grace and Montgomery, the main characters from Elegant Sins? For some extra dark, extra sacrilegious sizzle, read the scene that was too dark to make it into the book.
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Also By Stasia Black
Dark Contemporary Romances
Breaking Belles Series
Elegant Sins
Beautiful Lies
Opulent Obsession
Inherited Malice
Delicate Revenge
Lavish Corruption
Opulent Obsession: A Dark Secret Society Romance Page 17
