by C. R. Jane
It was funny that I’d actually felt like this place wasn’t so bad because of Alaric and Keon. This place was a nightmare.
I heard his screams when we were still a ways out. There were always a lot of screams in this place—people were miserable after all—but I knew whose screams these were.
Seth.
We had come in a back way, so I hadn’t recognized where we were going, not to mention I had blood dripping down my face, so my vision wasn’t as clear as usual.
But there was no mistaking the sound of his pain.
He was usually silent, only occasionally did the pain become so much that he made a sound. The fact that he was full on screaming meant that whatever was being done to him was on a whole other level than the torture he was usually subjected to.
I realized then that this was my lesson. He was the “special prisoner.”
I hadn’t imagined that it would be a worse punishment to watch someone else be tortured and not myself, but in this case, it was.
I was only faintly aware of my own injuries as he came into view. Seth was hanging by his hands from the ceiling, his toes barely dragging on the floor. Both of his arms were clearly out of socket from the position. There were three guards gathered around him. Instead of the whip I’d seen them with in the past, this time, they were each holding a whip that had spikes protruding from it.
Each time the spike hit Seth, his skin shredded. The carnage was so bad that strips of his skin were hanging off his back. I’d never seen anything like it. I gagged when the whip struck again and chunks of bloody flesh flew off his back, showering his cell.
At some point, Seth passed out.
And still, they kept going.
I began to beg for mercy, offering anything they wanted for them to stop. But none of the guards even looked at me.
They had their orders, and nothing I did was going to change their mind.
I tried to watch, wanting to absorb the horror and pain that I was responsible for, but after a time, it became too much and I had to close my eyes. I kept them closed until the snap of the whips stopped and the clang of Seth’s cell opening alerted me that the session was over.
The guards left me there in the hallway, Seth’s cell door open in front of me, taunting me, since I couldn’t move at the moment.
I lay there, staring at Seth’s prone form. And I think that was worse torture than my body felt as it tried to knit itself together… which wasn’t going very successfully.
After what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only an hour, he stirred. The guards had left him on the ground facing me, so our eyes immediately met when he opened them. We both just stared at each other, so many things written in the depths of our gazes.
“I’m sorry,” I croaked, the words woefully inadequate for the sorrow in my heart.
“I know,” he answered. And I liked that he didn’t just say it wasn’t my fault. I liked that he finally let me own up to this terrible thing that had just happened to him.
My body had healed just enough for me to drag myself forward. I kept going until I was next to him, even though my body protested every agonizingly slow movement.
“I would have done anything to prevent this,” I swore to him, knowing the words were true. Somewhere along these past weeks, I’d grown to care for him in such a way that I would bring on any pain that lay ahead of me if it meant that I could protect him.
How did that even happen? I’d had my goals here. I’d had my mission from the warden, a way out of here with a chance at getting back what I’d thought I wanted the most in the world—my power back. And somehow, here I was, knowing that I would sacrifice whatever he needed to help him, even if it did cost me my life like the warden had warned.
Hearts were a fickle, stupid thing.
I hated Seth just as much as I cared for him at that moment.
Because right then, I knew that I was giving up my chance of freedom.
Stupid, stupid heart.
I felt a brush against my face. I hadn’t realized I was crying, but there Seth was, catching one of my tears tenderly, even in his miserable state. His hands trembled against my face, and I leaned into his touch, hating myself even as I soaked in every second of comfort he was willing to give me.
“I’m not sorry…” he began, before coughing hard, a trickle of blood coming out of his mouth. He took a wheezy breath and then tried again. “I don’t mind the beatings anymore. They barely hurt. I think they’re losing their touch.” He tried to smile, but it ended up a bit macabre, as his teeth were stained with blood.
“How can you say that?” I cried, more tears falling from my face.
“Because they mean that I get to see you. No matter what happens, I’ll never regret getting to see you.”
He leaned forward, and his lips barely brushed against mine. But it was enough. Enough to make my soul feel like it was bursting. Enough for me to feel like the sun had suddenly appeared and it was shining down on me. His lips pressed against mine again, this time with more pressure, and it was almost too much. I could taste the metallic tang of our blood, but it somehow only heightened the promises we were giving each other in that kiss. A small moan escaped my lips. The kiss was deep and long, and it seemed to go on forever and still wasn’t enough.
I didn’t think that any number of kisses would’ve been enough.
I finally pulled away when the guilt of what I’d done shot me through the heart once more.
“I’m sorry,” he said, and I laughed a sort of crazed kind of laugh, because this beautiful, perfect fae was actually apologizing to me.
“Don’t ever apologize to me. Especially not for kissing me. That was perfect,” I reassured him.
My injuries started to creep up on me just then. It felt like a jackhammer had taken up residence in my head and had gone to work.
I wasn’t sure if we both passed out or fell asleep, but I didn’t come back into awareness until I woke up in the medical wing, a crazed looking Dr. Brina standing over me with a scalpel that I knew instantly I didn’t want anywhere near my body.
I quickly scurried up my bed, prepared to climb up the wall if it meant getting away from the scalpel wielding psycho in front of me.
Huh. I was moving. And the pain was nothing compared to what my injuries had been.
How long had I been here to gain that much progress? And what had happened to Seth?
“I’m good, thanks,” I hurriedly said when she continued to advance on me. I don’t think I’d ever seen so much crazy in a person’s eyes. She could give the warden a run for his money on the whole fear factor thing. I think I would take the warden over Dr. Brina any day.
I sneezed when her Chance Chanel perfume hit me, once again reminding me of my mother. Besides the fact that Dr. Brina was a creep, I had disliked her from the beginning. That hadn’t changed after the stunt she had pulled the last time I needed medical attention. I still remembered clearly the scrape of her teeth against my neck in that dream I’d experienced after I drank the medicine that she had given me.
I told myself that it had just been a dream, because honestly… the alternative was too terrifying.
“Oh, come on now, sweet little siren, let me help you,” she cooed in a breathy voice. Although intended to be sexy, the tone had the opposite effect on me. It didn’t help that her left eye was twitching a bit as she talked.
I managed to hop off the sickbed, surprising myself once again by just how good I felt. How long had I been out? How long had I been left unattended with this crazy lady? I shivered just thinking about all she could have done when I was passed out and helpless.
Dr. Brina pouted as she lowered her scalpel. “You’re no fun.” Her eyes brightened as she thought of something. She dashed over to a few shelves covered in small bottles and pulled out a small clear vial filled with a light blue liquid. She looked over at me and began to approach, holding out the bottle for me to take. “Here you go. This will take care of that cracked rib issue you have going on, although I
’m sad to say the rest of you is almost all the way healed.”
“You’re sad to say—” I began, before closing my mouth when a wicked smile splashed across her face, and she sliced the scalpel in front of my face, barely missing nicking my nose.
“You were saying, little siren?” she asked with a manic laugh. I had no intention of putting anything she gave me in my mouth, but I wasn’t about to say that to her. I wanted to keep my nose, thank you very much.
I backed away from her as she continued to laugh, not looking away until I was out of her office and safely down the hall. I was dressed in what amounted to the gowns you always wore in the hospital, except whoever had undressed me had thankfully left me in my bra and underwear, so I wasn’t flashing anyone as I walked down the hall to where I thought my cell was.
This place was funny like that. You would think that you had gotten the general layout, and then it would be different the next day. Especially if I ever found myself without a guard, like I did now.
Suddenly, I felt a burn on my hand and yelped as I dropped the vial that Dr. Brina had given me onto the dirty, stone ground. Surprisingly, it didn’t break.
I stared at it cautiously, wondering if I should just leave it there. I swore I could still hear her laughter echoing down the hallway though, and I did not want to chance her finding it and knowing that I’d just left it. I bent down, holding my gown closed behind me, and used the bottom of my gown to grab the vial. Using the cloth of the gown at least made it manageable to carry.
Not wanting to be caught in such a compromising outfit, I kept hurrying down the halls until I finally found my cell. Slamming the cell door shut behind me, I breathed a sigh of relief, wondering at how bad life was that I could feel a modicum of safety in my cell.
I stared at the bottle in my hand, and the blue liquid now seemed to be glowing. For some reason, I couldn’t get myself to pour it down the toilet like I know I should. Instead, I stuffed it under my mattress, figuring I could ask Alaric about it later.
That decided, I laid back on the cot gratefully, my mind whirling with all that had happened. Was Seth alright? He had to be. I couldn’t accept any other alternative.
My fingers brushed against my lips, thinking about that kiss.
That beautiful, perfect kiss that I wanted to repeat over and over again for as long as we both lived.
I sighed, a desolate tear slipping down my face as the image of his skin shredding on his back filled my mind.
I shouldn’t have had that kiss with him. With Alaric and Keon, it was different. They were like me—damaged in a way that was insurmountable. Seth was the opposite. He was damaged, yes, but I could feel the purity of his soul every time I was around him.
What had happened to him was proof that I was poison and would only bring him down further.
Now the question remained—was I selfless enough to let him go?
I was ashamed that I didn’t know the answer to that question.
Chapter 9
My days in Nightmare Penitentiary were growing more intense by the moment.
Life in a prison was meant to be anything but complicated. When we were not confined to our cell, we ate and made the day pass by. But somehow, my stay here had morphed into a tornado of anxiety and emotions… and my heart already beat so hard at how fast things were moving between me and the three men who’d swept into my life.
I sat on the side of my bed, staring at the stark blank wall in front of me, but I was a million miles away. I drowned in so much that had happened. Fights. Seductive dinners. Horrific beatings. Everything was too much, yet I was so deeply ingrained in all of it, I didn’t have a clue about how to pull myself out.
I couldn’t even remember when it got to this point, but getting out seemed impossible. Well, the prison part was obvious, but finding myself attracted to three men, each so different to one another that if I was ever asked to choose between them, I’d laugh because it wasn’t possible.
How did one choose between breathing and eating? I snorted a laugh under my breath as I thought back to how crazy addicted I felt toward Alaric after his fight, how intoxicated Keon made me feel in his arms, how my heart had broken and patched back up after Seth kissed me.
I’d gotten myself into a massive mess.
I wanted all three men as mine, but would they feel alright with sharing me?
Up on my feet, I pushed those thoughts aside, unable to think about such things, as they had my stomach clenching with anxiety.
I ran my hand through my hair, still damp from the fast wash I’d had this morning in the communal showers. The guard who was meant to take me to my shift said Seth was to have no visitors today. And when I begged him if he could let me out for a fast shower while other prisoners remained locked, he happily obliged. And it had nothing to do with him wanting to perv to my surprise. Nope, he wanted someone to listen to him talk non-stop about how hard his life was living in the basement of his parents’ home, and well, I tuned out. I was in freaking prison, so if someone’s life was hard, hello!
While chatting away, I did happen to catch him mentioning that the warden headed out of the penitentiary for a meeting. Ever since, my mind whirled around the idea of using this moment to fix a wrong.
To retrieve Seth’s crystal.
It was my fault he got tortured additionally, and maybe if I returned it to him, he might tell me what was so special about the crystal. And what really happened with his father.
I glanced outside my cell through my open door where inmates sprawled across the hallway, leaving the cafeteria. Meaning the guards would be watching them and not question as I made my way toward the warden’s office. I tapped my pocket where I had two hair pins. Maybe it was my luck to find them this morning in the shower room.
As I drew closer to the communal area, an open area connected by two hallways, I lowered my head and kept walking to avoid meeting anyone’s gaze. The guard at the doorway didn’t pay me attention, so I sped away.
Someone grabbed my arm from behind me, and I turned around to come face to face with Keon. My heart soared, and my smile instantly lifted.
“Hey, gorgeous,” he whispered, bringing me so close we might be touching, but for the sake of others seeing us, he kept a sliver of distance. My skin danced with goosebumps, remembering our recent time together.
I looked up into his green eyes, recalling the first time I stared into them at the bar. How I knew right then he was the guy for me. Maybe fate had brought us together, well aware we’d cross paths again. I liked to believe that was the case, though there was so much more about him I wanted to learn.
“I’ve missed you,” I said. “Haven’t seen you around for a few days.”
He still held onto my hand, his thumb rubbing my inner wrist in gentle circles, and that small gesture threw me back to our last time together. To how incredibly insane he made me feel. Even days later, all those desires awakened inside me with renewed arousal. And my cheeks flushed as a tingle slid between my thighs. I pressed them together, and it felt achingly incredible.
“Had a few days off work,” he answered.
All I could think about was if he thought about me while he was out there in the free world. It occurred to me then just how little I knew about him. Maybe it was trusting of me, but I didn’t believe he had a wife and kids he kept secret. When I had met him at the bar that first time, he seemed sure of himself and not a desperate, sleazy man. And it had been me after all who initiated the quick one-night stand.
The way he stared back at me then and again at this moment was of someone who knew what they wanted.
Me.
“I’ve forgotten what the outside world looks like.” I laughed, even though that was kind of sad, to already feel like I’d been in this place so long.
“I will have to bring you photos of the city.”
“And the outdoors,” I said. “God, I miss walking through parks and visiting the ocean. And the fresh smells.”
His smile was
infectious.
“So, what does a guard do on his time off?”
“Stay indoors, mostly,” he answered, which I found odd. But when I thought back, I rarely left my home. A lot of that had to do with my controlling mother and Julian.
“I’m going to live vicariously through you, so you need to go places and then tell me how it was, okay?”
His mouth opened with his response, but it wasn’t his voice I heard.
“Keon,” another guard barked behind him. “Get over here.”
Keon’s face frowned, his brow pinching. “I’m on duty in the communal area, and I gotta go, but I’ll see you soon.” His hand slipped out of mine, and he turned, marching away.
With great effort, I didn’t chase after him or beg him to take me to his room for time alone. But there was no stopping my gaze from dipping to his tight ass.
I had to find out more about who these men in my life were. Except that came later. Now, I pushed forward on fast legs and needed to focus on the mission at hand.
By the time I reached the cafeteria, there were still a few stragglers from breakfast. I scanned the room and spotted one of the food trolleys, and it had a platter with a few dirty plates, perfect. I frantically crossed the room and snatched the thing, then wheeled it out of there before anyone noticed.
Curved corridors took me left and right, past more cells and inmates and guards. It was only when I entered a passage with no one around and the sounds fading behind me, that my heart beat faster.
Running was out of the question, as that drew suspicion. At the end of the hall, I peered out into a brightly lit corridor with normal doors, not prison ones. This looked like the direction I’d used to reach the psychologist’s office, so I stepped out and walked quickly left, pushing the trolley. A guard appeared from a doorway and marched toward me.
My heart slammed in my chest as he eyed me up and down. I kept my head down, but he stepped in my path. I hadn’t seen him before, so chances were, he had no clue who I was either.
“What business do you have here?”
I looked up at him. “I’ve been given instructions to pick up dirty plates and clean up food in a meeting room.”
