‘We will?’ questioned his father.
‘We will.’
* * *
William stayed for a week. It was the longest he had been in his home for many years, possibly since he’d left it to start his knight’s training.
The memories he’d had as a child and an adolescent were gradually overlain by new ones. Yes, his father was still madly in love with his mother which was, on occasion, embarrassing. And, yes, they did spend more money than William thought was wise, but there was a happiness in the town that William hadn’t seen anywhere else on his travels. He walked the streets, in a way he hadn’t done since he was a boy, ducking into shops when he could and talking to the proprietors. The townsfolk were content and always had enough to eat.
His sisters were funny, clever individuals who were flourishing in his parents’ loving atmosphere. Not for them the haunted look of having their joy constantly suppressed like the inhabitants of Caerden.
Every step he took, he was haunted by the thought of Avva. It was as if she travelled with him, a constant presence just out of sight. He wanted to know what she thought of everything he saw. Several times he turned to talk to her, only for his heart to drop when he realised she wasn’t there.
By the end of the seven days he was sure of only one thing.
He had made a terrible mistake.
Chapter Twenty
Caerden, South Wales—early summer 1331
Summer had come late to Wales, but after a blustery few months the rain had finally disappeared and the warmth of the sun was beginning to dry everything out.
For most of the townsfolk of Caerden, the rain had washed away the remnants of the old Baron. News had reached them, about a week ago, that the King had given the barony to someone he trusted and that he would be arriving at the castle soon. That had given the townsfolk hope.
Avva had been dreaming her way through life until that point, imagining that William would return with vows of love for her, but the news of the new Baron had woken her from that fantasy. It had made her think clearly about what she wanted and with that clarity had come a resolution.
She had come to tell her closest friend what she was planning to do, but she was finding it hard to get the words out.
John continued to chip away at the piece of wood in his hands. Avva, who normally found watching his wrinkled hands work with wood fascinating, stared into the distance.
‘Have you made your decision?’
‘I have.’
‘You are going to leave before the new Baron arrives?’
‘I am.’
‘Where will you go?’
‘Caernarfon.’ It hadn’t been until that moment that she’d finally decided. Caernarfon was a big enough town for her to get lost in.
‘Will you pose as a man or be your true self?’ asked John, kindly.
Avva straightened. She had kept her male disguise even though she knew Caerden was not returning. She’d only told John, who had smiled at her revelation and not made any further comment. ‘It’s time to bring Avva back to life.’
‘I’ll miss you.’
‘I’ll miss you, too, and the boys. But I want a family of my own and I’m not going to get that living as my twin brother.’ Avva tried to smile, but her heart hurt. She tried not to think about William, about what it would be like to carry his children in her belly. Most of the time she succeeded. She had concentrated on making sure her brothers would be all right when she left and on getting through every day, but sometimes the pain hit her full force and she would struggle to breathe.
‘You could stay here. I don’t think people would be too surprised to find you are Avva,’ said John quietly.
Avva smiled—that news would have horrified her only a few months ago, but now she was at peace with it. The villagers had probably known all along, but they had protected her and, although they didn’t know it, she had played a huge part in protecting them, too. It was time to move on, to create a new future in a place that didn’t remind her so forcefully of William.
She wondered if he was already married to his rich bride. Pain shot through her heart and she pushed herself to her feet. Thoughts like that would do her no good.
‘I’ll miss you, John.’
John grumbled something under his breath, which Avva took to mean he would miss her deeply, too. She grinned, even as her heart hurt a little. John had been a good friend to her over the years. She would come back, but would she see him again? He was getting on in years, so it was unlikely.
‘Here. This is for you.’ John handed her the figure on which he had been working.
She took hold of it, the wood smooth under her fingertips. She held it up to the light and gasped. John had carved two figures, their arms entwined and their foreheads touching. The likeness was so like her and William, it was impossible to deny.
‘John...’ But when she turned back, her friend had gone.
She held the figurine to her lips and squeezed her eyes tightly closed. She refused to cry. She was moving towards her future and so was William. She hoped, wherever he was, whomever he was with, he was happy.
‘Bye, John.’ Without waiting for an answer, she walked towards the stables—she had work to do.
* * *
‘You’ve got your work cut out for you here.’
‘Thank you, Theo. As always your input is immensely valuable.’
‘I’m just saying, my friend, that this time you may have taken on more than you can cope with.’
William resisted the urge to push Theo off his horse. His mentor would only chase after him and try to get his revenge. And that would slow things down.
He was so close now, he didn’t want to stop, even to let Eirwen rest. He’d rushed ahead of James, who was at least a day behind, looking after provisions and probably quite grumpy to have been left trailing in their wake.
‘It looks like the land hasn’t been taken care of properly for years.’
‘Try decades.’
They rode in silence for a moment. William was grateful for the quiet, but didn’t think it would last.
‘What has got you so anxious?’
William bit back a sigh. ‘I’m not anxious.’ He really wasn’t. Caerden was only around the next bend. He was breathless with anticipation, his heart was racing and he felt like at any minute he would leap from the saddle and start running. It was only the thought of making a fool of himself in front of Theo that made him able to hold it together.
He would be seeing Avva so soon.
They rounded the bend in the road and there it was—Caerden. William kicked Eirwen into a brisk canter.
Theo caught up alongside him. ‘What’s the rush?’
‘You’ve seen the state of the place. I’m keen to get started.’
They rode in silence for a few blissful moments. ‘There’s a woman.’
‘Theo...’
‘Ah, yes, there is. You’ve gone a dull reddish colour. You’ll want to get rid of that, it’s not very attractive.’
William clenched his fist around his rein. He couldn’t remember why he had thought it was a good idea to bring Theo on this trip. He supposed he might be useful if there was any trouble. Not that he was expecting any.
A new steward had been installed at Caerden. He had reported that there was a great sense of relief and a tentative hope for the future among the inhabitants of the town.
William was pleased when a guard stopped him at the gatehouse. It didn’t take long for them to get through and it was something William would have to work on improving, but it was much better than his previous visit.
There were definite improvements in the courtyard, too, but William didn’t have time to take them all in. As he headed over to the stables, he couldn’t stop a broad grin spreading across his face. He didn’t even care if Theo saw him and mocked. I
t was time to see Avva again. Just to talk to her again would be a bliss he’d once not thought possible.
And, if she didn’t want him... No, his brain refused to even think that. Besides, he had the time now. He would charm her until she loved him as much as he loved her.
He jumped down from Eirwen and gathered up his reins.
‘I simply refuse to believe there is not a woman involved. I have never seen you so enthusiastic about anything.’
Even Theo’s mocking tone could not dent William’s mood. He ignored his friend in favour of striding into the stables.
Inside the familiar sweet smell of fresh straw greeted him. He smiled as he took in the clean floors and neat stalls. Avva hadn’t let her standards slip in the months since he had last seen her.
‘Can I help you, sir?’
William turned. A young lad stood behind him, a brush in hand.
‘Where is Master Carpenter?’
The lad frowned. ‘Ave isn’t here, sir.’
‘Well, where is she?’ He shook his head. ‘I mean he.’
‘Ave’s gone.’
‘You mean he’s visiting his brothers?’
The lad’s frown deepened. ‘No, I mean Master Carpenter has left.’
‘For the day.’
‘No. He has gone from Caerden.’ The lad spoke slowly as if he were trying to communicate something to someone who didn’t speak English. William wondered if perhaps he didn’t. Where on earth would Avva have gone?
He became aware of Theo slapping him on the shoulder. ‘I’m sorry, my friend.’ William could only swallow. He couldn’t have sacrificed so much and worked so hard only to find Avva gone.
The lad, clearly fearing that his two unexpected guests were not of sound mind, backed away from them both before escaping into the courtyard.
Theo cleared his throat. ‘I didn’t realise... I mean there’s nothing wrong... Edward might frown on it, but I will stand by you.’
William slumped against the stable door, exhausted. ‘I’m not sure what you are talking about, Theo, but I’m not in the right frame of mind to take your nonsense.’
Theo frowned. ‘I’m trying to be supportive. I didn’t know that you like men. I mean, you always seemed as keen as the rest of us to be with women. I didn’t know...’
William ignored him. He straightened. He hadn’t come this far to be defeated.
‘I know who might know where she is.’
‘Who? What?’
‘Avva.’
Without stopping to explain, he pushed past his friend and strode out into the courtyard.
John the carpenter was outside his workshop.
‘Where is Avva?’ He perhaps should have started with the niceties, but his patience was wearing thin.
John looked up at him—the old man’s gaze seemed to see into William’s soul. ‘What do you want with her?’
‘I want to give her everything.’
Chapter Twenty-One
Caernarfon, North Wales—summer 1331
Avva missed the stables, the smell of the straw and the hot breath of the animals as they exhaled into her hair. She missed Caerden and the gentle flow of the river in summer. She missed her brothers. And, even though he had only been there for a few nights, she missed the sight of William in her loft, his broad shoulders resting against the straw of her pallet as he watched her speak.
Caernarfon with its hustle and bustle was a much busier town than Caerden. It was easy for a widow to get lost among its many people. No one had doubted her when she told them her husband had died of an infection, no one was that interested in her past and for that she was grateful. She was able to be a woman for the first time in years, it was freeing and terrifying at the same time.
She’d found work at an alehouse—the women there were friendly and kind. They all had brothers or relatives they wanted Avva to meet, sure that she would find a husband among them. Avva had vowed that she would soon. Not quite yet—she pretended that she was still grieving for her dead husband and the women respected that. But she wanted a family of her own and to do that she had to have a man. That the man would not be William only haunted her at night.
She had bled not long after she’d last seen him, so there had been no babe to love and care for. She knew she should be glad, but there was only sadness at the loss of what could have been.
She tipped the liquid into a barrel and stirred it with a wooden spoon. It would soon be ready. She was concentrating so hard on getting it right that she screamed when she heard a deep voice behind her say, ‘You’re a hard woman to find.’
Clutching her chest, she turned slowly, unable to believe the voice she was hearing.
William was leaning against the doorjamb of the alehouse, his arms folded, a soft smile on his lips.
Without thinking she dropped her spoon and ran to him, leaping into his arms just as he unfolded them.
She buried her face in his chest, inhaling his scent. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘I’m looking for you.’ He tightened his arms around her, pulling her close.
She lifted her head to look at him and he brought his lips down to hers. His touch was feather-light, but it was as if the simple touch breathed life into her. The invisible bindings that had wrapped around her for months were finally loosened.
She didn’t know how long they stood like that, but the clearing of a throat brought her back to reality. She was kissing a man, who was clearly not her husband, in the alehouse. She pushed away from William, who lifted his head, but didn’t relinquish his hold on her.
‘Mistress Carpenter, what is going on here?’ asked the sharp tones of the head alewife.
‘Oh, this is an old friend of mine.’ She tried to push away from William again, but he held on tight.
The lady frowned down upon her. ‘That is a nobleman, Mistress Carpenter. He is no friend of yours.’
Avva felt William’s laugh rumble through her, but when he spoke, his voice was steady. ‘My good lady, I would like to speak with Avva alone. May I borrow her for a moment?’
The alewife folded her arms across her ample chest and glared at William. ‘You may speak with her within sight of me. I will not have any tomfoolery with my women.’
Avva bit back a giggle of her own—it was funny to see the diminutive alewife standing up to a hulking, great knight, but it was also wonderful. She hadn’t had anyone care about her welfare for so long.
‘Very well,’ said William, tugging her out of the alehouse and on to the street.
A cart rumbled by, narrowly missing their feet.
‘This isn’t the ideal place for this,’ muttered William.
‘The ideal place for what?’
He turned to her, framing her face with his large hands. ‘Avva, why are you not in Caerden? I came looking for you and you were gone.’
Her heart beat painfully in her chest at his words. He had come looking for her, but not straight away. She had been at Caerden for weeks after she had last seen him. He’d had plenty of time to come to her then. She couldn’t fathom why he had come to find her now—it had been months since the last time they had kissed. Maybe he had a bride now and wanted a mistress. She loved him, but she wouldn’t share him.
‘I couldn’t stay in Caerden any longer. I wanted to live as a woman again—moving and claiming to be a widow seemed like the best option.’
‘I want you to come home.’
She blinked up at him. ‘Where is home?’ She shook her head, it didn’t matter. She couldn’t go anywhere with him, not if he was wedded to somebody else. ‘William, it is good to see you again, but I cannot go anywhere with you. I must get back, I need to attend to my duties.’
His hands slipped down her shoulders and encircled her arms. ‘Avva, there is much for us to talk about. Come away with me now. I will pay the alewives f
or the work they will lose without you there. Hey, what have I said to make you cry?’
Avva dashed the traitorous tears away with the back of her hand. ‘I cannot come away with another woman’s husband. I heard the King grant your wish to marry a wealthy heiress. I will not share you. It is not the sort of person I am, no matter how much I might want to be with you.’
‘You want to be with me?’ William leaned down and brushed his lips to hers.
‘Back away from her,’ yelled the alewife. ‘I’m watching you.’
William lifted his head, his brown eyes sparkling with laughter. ‘Very well, I will wait a little longer to speak with you. What I have to say will be better without an audience. When you’ve finished for the day, I will come and collect you. There is someone who has been pining your absence more than I have. I won’t force you into doing anything you don’t want to, but promise me you won’t run away again.’
Despite her better judgement, Avva nodded. She wanted to see him again even though it might hurt in the long term. ‘I promise.’
He gently kissed her forehead before letting go of her arms.
She was almost back at the alehouse when she heard him call her name. She turned—he was still where she had left him.
‘Avva, I think you should know something. I don’t have a wife.’ He smiled at her, lifting a hand in farewell before striding away.
* * *
Dusk was setting by the time Avva had finished her chores. Her fingers trembled as she fixed her braid into something she hoped looked presentable. She was about to see William and he didn’t have a wife.
She stepped from the building to find him lounging against the wall opposite the alehouse. He pushed himself upright as soon as he saw her. They met in the middle of the road, his long fingers curling around hers.
‘I hope you haven’t been waiting long,’ she said as William began to lead her along the street in the direction of the large castle which dominated the skyline.
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