Nadia I think you’re a very beautiful person.
Victor You like my body?
Nadia On the inside. Beautiful on the inside.
Victor You don’t like my body?
Nadia Of course, you’ve got a great body.
Victor I’ve got a fucking fantastic body. I could have been in porno. Body like this I could be huge porno star. Guys go crazy for my body.
Nadia You’ve had lots of partners?
Victor Please?
Nadia You’ve had a lot of boyfriends?
Victor Boyfriends, yes. Many boyfriends. They go crazy for my body. But also my father, yes? My father and my brother go crazy for my body.
Nadia So . . . you’re close as a family?
Victor Please?
Nadia A very loving family.
Victor Yes I think so. Yes. My brother he likes to photograph me, you know? Polaroid? Since I was fourteen. Polaroid of my body. See? (Offers Nadia the Polaroids.) See? Fucking fantastic body.
Nadia And that’s your . . . ? Right. Right.
Victor And I say to my brother when I am fourteen: I could be in porno.
Nadia Well that’s great.
Victor Yes?
Nadia Yes, I think it’s great to have an ambition. Something you want and really go for it.
Victor One day I was so fucking crazy I took Polaroids and I . . . please word is . . . I . . . scan Polaroids on home page and I say: ‘Look at this great body. Great body, crazy guy. Any other crazy guys out there want to do stuff with this fucking crazy body?’
Nadia Well I think that’s fantastic. No I do. To be open.
Victor Yes. Open. Hungry hole.
Nadia To possibilities.
Victor And what do you want?
Nadia Well . . .
Victor What are you going for?
Nadia I don’t know yet. I’m still trying to find out, you know? Where I really belong in the universe. Nothing’s fixed for me, which is cool in a way. Sometimes you just have to let yourself be open to possibilities before you can really choose, you know?
Victor When will Tim be back? I really like the idea of Japanese guy. For one hundred days every year he will keep me in cave.
Nadia But you chose Tim.
Victor I just want to be in London.
Nadia But Tim brought you here. Tim paid for you to be here.
Victor Everyone in London gave up on that meaning bullshit years ago, you know? And now they enjoy theirself. I love trash, okay? I like it when everything is trash. Trash music, trash food, trash people. I love these things.
Nadia I don’t think Tim is trash.
Victor Oh yes, he told me. His home page: ‘I’m one hundred per cent pure trash.’
Nadia He may have said that . . .
Victor And I say: ‘Yes. This is the guy I want to meet. This trash guy.’
Nadia I think Tim’s self-esteem –
Victor Please?
Nadia I don’t think Tim always values himself. But actually, Tim is a very beautiful person. A very loving person.
Victor Oh no. This is not possible.
Nadia Yes. A person with a lot of love to give.
Victor Why didn’t he tell me?
Nadia Yes. And actually a very spiritual person.
Victor He has lied to me. Fuck this. Why didn’t he say?
Nadia I don’t know. Maybe he was ill and in a vulnerable position.
Victor Ill?
Nadia Maybe.
Victor He is ill?
Nadia No I don’t . . .
Victor Why does this happen to me? This always happens to me. I’m a crazy guy, you know, and I just want to have fun, just want to enjoy . . . Why do these guys fucking lie to me? Loving, spiritual, vulnerable, ill. Fuck this.
Nadia What are you doing?
Victor I’m going.
Nadia But Tim isn’t back yet.
Victor I don’t want to see this liar.
Nadia Please wait for him. He’ll be back with food in a minute, then we can / get the tube.
Victor No. I don’t need this.
Nadia He wants you here. He’s been looking forward to . . . It means so much / to him.
Victor Means? Means? Fuck this ‘means’. Nothing means anything, okay?
He moves to exit.
I find a guy to pay my fare out of here.
Nadia Who?
Victor Any guy. They’re all crazy for me. Some guy will fly me to Japan and I will live in cave.
Enter Tim with sweets and cherryade.
Tim Daddy’s here. Look at this. Total crap, love it. Total fucking shite the lot of it. Not a vitamin in sight, fabulous. Lucky bag for everyone. For you.
Nadia Thank you.
Tim And for you.
Victor No.
Tim It’s for you. Special trash delivery.
Victor I don’t want this.
Tim Cherryade? Let’s all have cherryade.
Victor Fucking bastard.
Tim Who’s a . . . ?
Victor You, you fucking bastard.
Tim What have I . . . ?
Nadia Please. I’m sorry.
Victor Spiritual? She says you’re spiritual.
Tim Well she shouldn’t have done that. Why do you always do this?
Nadia I didn’t know.
Tim Just when I’ve met someone. Just when I’m having some fun at last.
Nadia I just wanted him to understand / that you have feelings.
Tim There’s nothing to understand.
Victor I’m going.
Tim No.
Nadia That you feel something.
Tim No I don’t. I don’t feel anything, alright?
Nadia But you do, I know you do / and I know you want someone in your life because you’ve got this need . . .
Tim Don’t you tell me. I want to have fun.
Nadia And we feel the need.
Tim Just because you’re . . . Just because you’ve got no one.
Nadia I’ve got Simon.
Tim Yeah?
Nadia Sometimes, yes, often I’ve got Simon.
Tim And look what Simon does to you. Look at how Simon hurts / you all the time.
Nadia No. I’m not listening to all this negative . . . No, I’m going now. I’ll make my own way back. I’m going. And who knows? I might meet someone on the way back. Because I’m open, I’m at peace with myself, I don’t have to . . .
Tim What? What?
Nadia Pay for a . . . sex . . . slave.
Nadia exits.
Tim She shouldn’t have said that, it isn’t true.
Victor You don’t want slave?
Tim That I feel anything, it isn’t true.
Victor So. This doesn’t mean anything?
Tim It means nothing.
Victor And you’re trash?
Tim We’re both trash. Come on, eat something, eat some rubbish.
He gets his pills out.
And Nadia’s trash too really. She’s alright, you’ll get to like her after a bit. She’s been good to me. We have fun together.
He takes the pills.
Victor You are ill?
Tim No.
Victor She told me this, you are ill.
Tim No.
Victor Then what is this? This is medicine.
Tim This? This is total trash. More delicious chemical shite to fill my body with.
Victor I don’t want to be near ill people. They have ugly bodies.
Tim Alright.
Victor I could be in any country in the world with any guy.
Tim But I paid for you. I own you.
Victor Please. What is it like to be ill?
Tim Are you feeling sorry for me?
Victor No.
Tim So what are you feeling?
Victor Nothing.
Tim Good boy, because I warn you, you feel anything, you’re out, okay? And you pay your own way home.
Victor Okay.
Tim Come on.
He hold
s up a sweet.
Train in the tunnel. Chug, chug, chug.
He feeds Victor.
Good.
Scene Three
Nadia’s flat.
Dark.
Nick Where do you wanna . . . ?
Nadia Through here.
Enter Nadia, supported by Nick. We can only see their silhouettes. Nadia is wearing a knee-length coat.
Nadia Oh shit. Shit.
Nick C’mon. You’re alright now.
Nadia Fuck. I feel . . .
Nick Yeah?
Nadia Nauseous.
Nick Yeah?
Nadia Like I’m gonna . . . No. No. I’m alright. I’m alright.
Nick Right.
Nadia turns a light on. We can now see that her lip is cut and swollen.
Nadia That’s better.
Pause.
Well . . . thanks.
Nick That’s alright.
Nadia No really, thanks. You were amazing. Just leapt in there out of the blue like –
Nick Yeah, well . . . I don’t like to see a bloke do that to a woman.
Nadia Of course not.
Nick I don’t like men who / don’t respect . . .
Nadia Right.
Nick I can’t stand that.
Nadia Of course you can’t. Look. I expect you need to . . .
Nick Yeah.
Exit Nadia to kitchen. Nick hesitates. Is he supposed to leave? Decides to wait. Enter Nadia with a packet of frozen food held up to her face. Doesn’t see Nick.
Nick Who was he?
Nadia Oh. Hi. I’d just filed you away. In here. Past tense.
Nick Was he your boyfriend?
Nadia I don’t know. / I’m fine now if you need to . . .
Nick You don’t know?
Nadia I knew this would come in handy. In the fridge when I moved in. Two years ago.
Nick You don’t know / if he’s your boyfriend?
Nadia And I thought: It’s got to be good for something. Obviously I wasn’t going to eat it. I mean ‘Best before December 1984’, you’re not going to eat it, are you?
Nick How can you not know if / he’s your boyfriend?
Nadia But I thought: Hold on to it. Everything has its value. Everything is of use. Don’t you agree?
Nick Who is he? A stranger?
Nadia No. Not a stranger.
Nick So? Ex-boyfriend? Ex-husband? / Pimp or . . .
Nadia Oooo . . . labels, labels. Simon’s a friend who I shag once in a while. If we’re in the mood.
Nick And who once in a while beats you about.
Nadia He had a difficult childhood.
Nick He’s not making much of a go at being an adult.
Nadia He’s doing the best he can with the knowledge that he has.
Nick Yeah?
Nadia Yes.
She moves to the ansaphone, pushes play.
Ansaphone (female voice), ‘Hi. Me returning your call returning my call returning your call returning my call. / Et cetera. And so on. Ad infinitum. So. Call me.’
Nadia (laughs) Can you believe it? Three months of messages and we’ve never actually spoken?
Ansaphone (male voice), ‘Hello sexy gorgeous sexy you. / You were gorgeous, I was gorgeous. Let’s do it again.’
Nadia Creep. Big, big mistake. I don’t think so.
Pause.
Look. I’m fine now. Really, I’m okay. So if you wanna . . . you probably need to get back to your boyfriend.
Nick No, no.
Nadia You need to carry on looking for a boyfriend?
Nick No.
Nadia No?
Nick I’m . . . y’know . . . hetero . . . straight.
Nadia Really?
Nick Yeah, really. I mean, don’t I look like I’m . . . ?
Nadia You look like . . .
Nick A / convict
Nadia A convict. You look like a convict or a poof. And since you’re not a convict . . .
Nick I’m not a poof.
Nadia So what are you?
Nick I was just making my way along that street . . .
Nadia Which is a very poofy street.
Nick To get to another street where they have a club with dancing.
Nadia Do you like dancing?
Nick I’m not much of a dancer.
Nadia Bet you / could be.
Nick I can’t dance. But this club. They have like girls who dance on tables. With just little . . . things on.
Nadia Little things?
Nick Little . . . yes.
Nadia Hussies.
Nick Yeah.
Nadia What does a nice bloke like you want with hussies like that?
Nick Company.
Nadia Lonely?
Nick . . . Yeah.
Pause. Nick leans in to her. Kisses her. She screams out.
Nadia Fuck. Fuck.
Nick I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
Nadia Bleeding again now.
Nick I’m really sorry.
Nadia Stupid cunt.
Exit Nadia to bathroom.
Nick Is there anything I can . . . ?
Nadia (off) Yeah. Fuck off.
Nick Alright then. I’ll do that. Yeah. I’ll fuck off and next time Simon’s beating the fucking shit out of you I won’t . . . Yeah.
He starts to go. The phone rings.
Your phone’s . . .
Ansaphone (male voice), ‘Hey listen, I just wanted to say how profoundly sorry . . . look, I know I fucked up . . . and I really thought I’d broken this pattern of . . . I’m really trying to work though this . . . control issue or whatever it is. I’m really . . . I want to understand why I have this need to hurt you. And I want to, I need to talk about it. And I thought if I came over. Look. I know you’re there. I know you’re listening to this. And. I want to wash the blood away. I want to . . . I’m coming over now. I’m . . .’
Nick picks up the phone.
Nick Simon? . . . It doesn’t matter who I am. It doesn’t matter.
Nadia enters. She has a hand mirror and a flannel for mopping up the blood. Nick doesn’t see her.
Nick (to phone) Because I’m a great big enormous angry bastard and I’m staying here, so don’t you come anywhere fucking near her, alright? Alright?
Nick puts the phone down.
Nadia You’re quite a frightened person, aren’t you?
Nick What?
Nadia A frightened person. And you’re an angry person.
Nick Well, yeah.
Nadia Yes. They’re often very linked. Fear and anger. I’m a nice person.
Nick Yeah.
Nadia No. I am. Which is not such an easy thing to say. I mean I can say it now. I’m a nice person. But that’s quite a new thing for me, you know?
Nick Right.
Nadia We had to practise. With a mirror.
She looks into the mirror.
I’m a nice person.
Nick I see.
Nadia I had to be given permission to do that, you know? Because before, of course, no one was giving me permission but now . . . And what about you?
She holds out the mirror.
Give it a go. If you’re ready to . . . give it a go.
Nick looks in the mirror.
Nadia What are you thinking?
Nick I . . .
Nadia Don’t censor yourself. First thing that comes into your head.
Nick Fucking old.
Nadia Yes?
Nick I think I look fucking old.
Nadia And how does that make you feel?
Nick Just . . . ancient.
Nadia You’ve got a great face. It’s a face with character.
Nick I used to look a lot better than this.
Nadia You are where you are.
Nick I mean I was never Steve McQueen . . .
Nadia Steve McQueen?
Nick Yeah. I was never . . .
Nadia Who’s Steve McQueen?
Nick He was . . . he must have been before your time.
&nb
sp; Nadia You’re not trapped by your face though, are you? You’re not going to let that trap you.
Nick I’ve never been bothered with appearances.
Nadia Yeah. It’s what’s inside that counts, isn’t it? And I only have people in my life who’ve got really beautiful insides. Because I’m a nice person, you attract nice people, you know?
Nick Really?
Nadia Which is why you’re here now.
Nick Simon didn’t seem like a very nice person.
Nadia Simon’s alright.
Nick He was hitting you. And I think he would have gone on hitting you . . .
Nadia It was good that it happened. Really. Because if Simon hadn’t got frightened . . .
Nick Frightened?
Nadia Yeah. If Simon hadn’t got frightened then I wouldn’t have met you.
Nick I don’t think Simon was frightened.
Nadia Oh he was.
Nick I think Simon is a person who hates women. I think Simon is the sort of bastard who likes to beat up / women.
Nadia But if you look inside . . . Simon is frightened and Simon was expressing his fear in the only way he knows how.
Nick He cut your lip.
Nadia I don’t remember.
Nick You must remember.
Nadia That’s in the past.
Nick There was blood.
Nadia Was there?
Nick Of course there was. There was a lot of blood.
Nadia I’m not holding on to that.
Nick No?
Nadia I’m letting that go. I’m not going to hurt myself by holding on to those feelings. That would be hurting me.
Nick Maybe I’ll do something. Maybe I’ll kick the shit out of Simon.
Nadia And that would hurt you.
Nick I’m gonna do it. Where does the bastard live? Where the fuck is he?
Nadia Hey. Hey. Hey. Easy.
Nick You’ve gotta fight back.
Nadia No.
Nick You can’t let them walk all over you.
Nadia Them?
Nick Men. You can’t let them . . . you’ve got to make a stand.
Nadia Hey. Don’t generalise. Don’t label people like that. ‘Men’. What does that mean? ‘Men’. Simon is a person.
Nick Simon is a sexist bastard.
Nadia He is a child inside. And we’re all children inside.
Nick I’m not. / I’m not.
Nadia Oh, you are.
Nick I’m a great big fucking angry adult, that’s what I am. I’m someone who doesn’t let the bastards get at me.
Nadia I don’t think Simon / was getting at you.
Nick Someone who gets the bastards before they can get me.
Nadia No one’s getting at you . . . you’re projecting . . .
Nick Oh come on, come on. There’s loads of them. Yeah . . . The police, the . . . multinationals . . . . The arms dealers . . . the dictators. / They’re out there and you and me, we’ve got to stand up and . . .
Ravenhill Plays: 1: Shopping and F***ing; Faust is Dead; Handbag; Some Explicit Polaroids (Contemporary Dramatists) Page 18
