“It is such a lovely… hue.” Edmund smiled, eyes dancing with humor. “I find it difficult to tear my gaze away.”
She couldn’t stop her answering smile. Stepping from the frieze, she gestured to her right. “Then perhaps I should stand on the other side of one of the sculptures.”
Selina made to move and do just that when he reached out and took her hand. He boldly closed his gloved fingers over hers and though she couldn’t feel his skin against hers, Selina found she wanted to.
Swallowing hard, she dragged her eyes from their joined hands to his gaze.
“You cannot rob me of my favorite view.” His voice was low and intimate, more so given the fact they were alone in the hall.
Selina jerked back, away from the intimacy of his touch, of all it meant. They were alone — Annabelle left to explore the extensive gardens of Montagu House and Edmund used his title and influence, and heavy purse, to see they had the place to themselves.
She licked her lips, but was unable to tear her gaze from his.
“Selina,” he said softly, “we’re alone. This is our private tour.”
She nodded even as she searched for words. Looking over her shoulder, she finally said, “The curator might check on us.” The words were fast and clipped. “You would not want to be discovered in an indiscreet position.”
Edmund stiffened at that. His brown eyes darkened further, she noticed even as she berated herself for continuing to refer to him as Edmund not Lord Granville.
“For a young couple courting,” he said in a low voice. It sent shivers down her spine. “A momentary indiscretion is not such a sin.”
Clearing her throat, Selina shook her head. But she couldn’t look away. “You may view it as one if the wrong person were to see us,” she said, not quite as clipped, not quite as certain.
Her fear sneaked from behind the shutters, cold and sharp.
“No.” He shook his head slightly, watched her so steadily, so even, so honest. “I would not. I never would.”
Selina swallowed hard. Her fingers ran down the skirt of her gown but she shook her head. “Edmund,” she began, then stopped. She cleared her throat and in a stronger, firmer voice continued, “You are reckless with your reputation and with this courtship.”
Her fingers stopped moving and Selina consciously titled her head back. Was she flattered an earl courted her? Perhaps, but Selina was practical as well. And practically speaking, earls did not court women of her station unless they needed money.
So far as she knew, he was perfectly solvent and in no need of her, rather generous, dowry.
“I’m very deliberate about our courtship,” he said. Promised.
Those words were definitely a promise. A deliberate promise and one that danced along her skin.
“You shouldn’t be,” Selina insisted.
Edmund’s look was hard and questioning, and for a long minute he simply watched her. Selina’s breathing sounded loud in her ears and the sunlight streaming in through the windows bounced off the marbles.
“I am more comfortable behind a desk working on a ledger,” she said into that quiet. “Or tending to my father’s house than I am in this—” she waved a hand to indicate Edmund, the silence of the museum, the ancient sculptures —”this world.”
She drew in a slow breath and even though she did not want to say the words, she also did not want her heart to break. And that was the only way she saw this ending — with her heart breaking and Edmund moving onto another dalliance.
One with a woman equal to the task of being his countess.
Originally, Selina thought to simply enjoy his company for a short while. Since the ball… no, even before that. Since their flirtation at the merchant’s counter and after as they escaped the fire, Selina knew her heart lay too exposed.
Already she was far too involved with him, cared too much.
“You,” she started, then stopped. Licked her lips and tried again in a cooler, more even voice that didn’t reveal how much it hurt to say. “You should court a young woman who is more accustomed to your station.”
There, she spoke the words aloud, told him her fears. Selina thought a great weight should’ve been lifted off her chest, but no. She did not feel lighter, did not feel better for having said anything.
“You’ve agreed to spend this time with me,” Edmund said, the words hard but not harsh. “Why are you letting these unnecessary, unwarranted, thoughts interfere?”
“It was not lost on me all those comments made at your sister’s ball,” she said, still defiant. But she had to swallow hard, had to take a moment to continue. “The whispers of how the earl eyed a shopgirl.”
“You are not a shopgirl,” he snapped. “And even if you were—”
“I was once,” Selina interrupted. “And your friends may not forgive that.”
Edmund released a long breath and once more the silence stretched taut between them. She thought it might break, might be insurmountable. But then something changed. The look in his eyes or the way he stood, Selina wasn’t certain but the tension between them broke.
“They will not be my friends if they stand in judgement of my choices,” he said decisively. “The rest?” Again he shook his head. “I don’t care about anyone else. Would you want to live your life not doing, not having, a choice? Waiting on the approval of others?”
He stepped closer. Frozen, Selina only stared at him.
“I do not,” he said forcibly. “Do you wish I suppressed all I want? That is no life.” He released a breath, but his gaze remained so intent on hers, Selina was unable to look anywhere but him. “That is simply one of these statues.”
She studied him. So intent and honest and so very willing to defy his friends and acquaintances. Willing to take a chance — a chance on her. She scrambled for a reply, but her thoughts whirled with what she thought she needed to do and say and be, and what her heart wanted.
“Or perhaps,” he added into the silence and stepped back. “You are no longer interested.”
Her head jerked back in surprise as if he physically struck her. Wetting her lips, Selina caught and held his gaze. Not simply in a polite way to show him she listened. She watched him with everything in her.
Edmund moved slowly, closed the distance between them with deliberateness.
Her heart raced and her skin tingled, and Selina didn’t move. Her eyes flicked between his and his lips in the instants before he closed that final distance.
The kiss was slow, almost delicate as if he waited for her to pull back. Selina did not. She reached up, her gloved hand cupping his face, and returned the kiss, deepened it. His tongue swept over hers, long, slow strokes that was almost lazy.
The kiss swept along her, spreading warmth and sparks of pleasure. His fingers brushed along her exposed neck and she wanted to feel his skin on hers. Wanted the barrier of their gloves gone.
Slowly, slowly, he pulled back. Ended the kiss with little touches of his lips to hers.
“Perhaps not completely devoid of interest,” he whispered against her mouth.
Selina laughed. Breathless, blood racing, nerves straining for more, she laughed and pulled back just enough to see him clearly.
Cheeks heating — from the kiss, from his words, from her own reaction — she took a deep breath and tried to calm her body. It was no use.
“Interest is not the problem, Edmund.” She paused, took another deep breath but it did little to cool her reaction. “We must speak frankly of this.”
He simply raised an eyebrow, but he did drop he hands from her face and put some space between them.
“Of course I want you to have what you desire. I want the same,” she insisted. “But,” she added, the words softer now. “That is not always appropriate. Men like you are more likely to have women like me as mistresses instead of wives.”
Selina shook her head, adamant. “And that is not something I will ever accept.”
“Nor is that something I’d ever ask of you,” he said.
/> Insisted, really, the words once more hard but not harsh. Firm, she thought, somewhat stunned at his reaction. At the meaning behind those words.
“This courtship, our courtship is in good faith, Selina,” he told her. “Differences in rank be damned. I do not want to hear about gossips or whispers — they do not matter.”
Edmund took her hand in his again, bold and scandalous though it may be, and held tight. “I simply want to enjoy my time with you. And I never want you to fear anything when you are with me.”
“That is not always practical,” she whispered, the words catching in her throat.
“We don’t need to be practical,” he insisted.
Selina smiled, unable to help herself. Before she had the chance to realize she made her choice, she nodded. With her acceptance of his courtship, of her own feelings, then she felt that weight lifted off her chest.
With a smooth move, and grinning widely, Edmund swept down to pick up their forgotten leaflets on the friezes. He gallantly handed her one and offered his arm. Offering a small, happy laugh, Selina slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow and they continued on.
“Practical, mayhap not,” Selina said as they walked. “But we probably should find Annabelle as a precaution.”
“I suppose,” he sighed theatrically, “it wouldn’t do to be without our chaperone for too long.”
“No,” Selina agreed. “No it wouldn’t.”
He stopped again, at the end of the room, and kissed her. Shorter, smaller kiss no less passionate for it. They continued on to the gallery, where Annabelle promised to meet them after she walked the gardens.
Before they reached that room, however, Edmund stopped her.
“I have many friends and I’ve known much companionship in my time,” he admitted quietly, slowly as if he weighed every word. “But I’ve not felt this connected to anyone before.”
She watched him for a moment then smiled. “It was the fire and our escape that made you feel this way,” she insisted. “It created a type of bond, I believe.”
“Perhaps,” he agreed, shoulders moving restlessly. “However, I treasure this bond. And I don’t want to lose it or risk it. And I assure you, my interest began before the fire.”
He paused and watched her, humor and intent and that intimacy from earlier dark in his eyes. “I think you know that.”
Selina nodded. “I do,” she agreed, the words a bare breath.
“Selina, don’t let anything interfere with us.” He took her hand, squeezed it. “Promise me.”
The honesty rang true, a clearness in the words between them. Edmund cupped her cheek, watched her. His full attention on her in a way she’d never experienced before. With a start, Selina realized he always looked at her that way.
In the bazaar, afterward in that alleyway, even at his sister’s ball; with all the chaos surrounding them, all the people he knew and could have, should have, spoken with, Edmund kept his entire attention on her.
It fluttered through her stomach, hot and arousing, a secret between the two of them.
She raised her hand and laid it gently on his chest. Prolonging that intimacy, that moment. Agreeing without words, though she knew he needed those, too.
“I promise.”
Chapter Six
Selina stood to one side as Annabelle chatted with their departing friends. The sun shone brightly down on the cold October day and the wind lifted groups of leaves, making them dance along the paths.
Today she planned to meet Edmund here, in Hyde Park. In the weeks since their courtship began, they walked the footpaths of the park several times. Now, at the height of promenade, the disapproving looks she thought she’d receive were no more. Several women cast her admiring looks — no doubt because she walked on Edmund’s arm most days. Quite a few young women had watched her with jealousy.
Selina brushed them all aside. She was happy. Happy with Edmund, happy walking in the park and spending time with him. Even as she waited for him now, her stomach flipped with anticipation and giddy laughter bubbled in her throat.
Breathing deeply of the outdoors, she closed her eyes and tilted her face to the sun. She enjoyed being outside, even with winter rapidly approaching. More, she enjoyed Edmund’s company as they walked the park or the grounds at Kew Gardens; anyplace, really, so long as they explored together.
When Selina spent time with Edmund, she tried to forget about their stations, the class lines separating them. Or that should separate them. She tried to forget she was wholly unworthy of being courted by an earl. All she knew was the two of them in their own world.
Edmund didn’t seem to mind the differences in their social standing. He dismissed them outright, waving them off as insignificant, and continued to single-mindedly pursued her.
That sort of devotion changed her own view of the world. And when he looked at her with that heated gaze, with the intensity of a man who wanted her and only her, Selina forgot all about how the rest of society saw them.
All she knew was the two of them.
Selina paced a little on the path, eyes sharp for Edmund. The butterflies continued their flight, but now mixed with rocks. With dread. Lady Octavia was a truly lovely woman, but would she honestly accept Selina into Edmund’s life? Into their world?
Would any of Edmund’s friends?
They’d courted for six weeks — six wonderful weeks of balls and picnics and walks through the park. Of laughter and stolen kisses and her yearning for more. She’d met Mr. Hamilton on several occasions and heard all about the Duke and Duchess of Strathmore.
How much of their acceptance was real and true? And if this courtship stayed its course, as she dearly hoped it would, would their opinion of her change? Worse, would Edmund’s opinion of her change? Or was this a mere dalliance? A way to pass the time in London before the season truly began?
Her stomach swooped unpleasantly at the thought, and her fingers tightened in her skirts. Earls never truly married daughters of merchants. Did they?
She breathed deeply of the crisp air and looked for Edmund. She was early, very early, for their appointment, but Selina hadn’t been able to stay indoors. At least, that was what she told Annabelle, that she’d rather walk the park than spend one of the last beautiful autumn days inside.
Annabelle hadn’t been fooled.
Not that Selina had tried to mask her anticipation. She wanted to see Edmund. Regardless of her own thoughts and worries, she very much wanted to see him again. Wanted to walk with him as they talked about everything from balls and soirées to the latest news from France or the farmers’ unrest.
Barely a day went by when they didn’t see each other. A surprise luncheon turned into a regular affair. An early breakfast with her father normally left only her and Edmund together when her father excused himself to attend to business.
And it seemed, even the women interested in a potential match with the Earl of Granville stopped their snide remarks when weeks passed and Edmund showed no sign of tiring of her company.
No signs of tiring and every sign of making a proposal. However, she wasn’t as sure as others that a proposal was eminent. The part of her that brushed away her more realistic thoughts, the part that hoped and wanted and ignored the rocks in her stomach, wished for one.
Selina swallowed, her gloved fingers automatically finding the skirts of her gown and running down the heavy silk. Her lined spencer jacket kept the wind from becoming uncomfortable, though she longed for the warmer summer months.
Six weeks, she thought again. Six weeks of laughing and talking and… she shied away from the thought. Six weeks was enough time to still be unbearably pleased to see Edmund, but surely not enough time to fall in love.
Selina tried to reason with herself, but her heart refused to listen.
The only mar on their time together had been the death of Mr. Ashworth, her father’s business partner. He’d been found in their business offices in early evening, Tuesday last. His wife had sent round a servant t
o bring him home, when he’d failed to return for supper.
Selina liked Mr. Ashworth; he was a nice enough man and had been her father’s partner for several years. Unlike many men she met at the docks, Mr. Ashworth hadn’t minded when she’d gone round to the offices and added her ideas to further the business.
She feared the scandal of Ashworth’s murder would taint Edmund. In fact, she pulled back from their time together, unwilling to do anything to damage his reputation. However, he assured her that, though unfortunate, it had been a random occurrence.
Yesterday Edmund left to Basildon, Essex, for business, and she hadn’t seen him. Selina tried not to mope, honestly. It was unbecoming, to say the least. And embarrassing when Annabelle, calmly and pointedly, told her to stop pining.
Now, as Selina wandered along the path and Annabelle called good-bye to their friends, she tried to tamp down on her happiness.
“Poor Mrs. Ashworth,” Annabelle said with a short shake of her head. “In a day or two, we’ll need to stop round and bring a basket, offer our condolences.”
Blinking at her friend’s astute observation, and wondering if Annabelle possessed mystical mind reading powers, Selina nodded.
“Yes.” She cleared her throat. “Yes we shall. I can’t imagine losing the man you love in so horrible a manner.”
“No,” Annabelle said with a slight twist of her lips and a teasing lilt. “You cannot imagine being apart for more than a day.”
“Annabelle,” she scolded.
Selina looked around, making sure no one overheard Annabelle’s words, teasing or not. She did not believe so, but gossips tended to have excellent hearing.
“You must stop with such jests,” she insisted. “We might be overheard!”
Annabelle merely pursed her lips and nodded.
Selina looked over her friend’s shoulder and saw immediately Edmund. He did not say a word nor call out to her as far as she could tell. Yet Selina knew the moment he stepped into the park.
She took a step in his direction and smiled. His answering grin, wide and happy, melted through her.
Mayhap Annabelle was right. Mayhap the affection between them was more than obvious. Selina couldn’t bring herself to care.
Improper Match: Scandalous Encounters Page 5
