by Lexi Blake
She nodded, the hair on her arms standing up again.
“Then you probably weren’t,” he replied. “Have there been any crimes around your building? Break-ins? Assaults?”
“Not that I’m aware of.” He looked so serious, so concerned, that she found herself reaching out to him, putting a hand on his arm. The minute she touched him, she felt herself relax fully. It was okay. She wasn’t back there. She was here with him, and Owen knew what he was doing.
“You work in research,” he mused. “How secretive is it?”
She hadn’t considered that. “I publish my research. I talk about it pretty openly, but my data is kept secret until I’m ready to publish. The pharmaceutical companies who fund me get the updates, but those are quarterly. There’s always different foundations and competing research groups who wouldn’t mind knowing exactly what I’m doing and how far I’ve gotten.”
“They might not be patient enough to wait. I’ve learned that corporations aren’t patient at all, and they don’t mind bribing employees to get what they want. If there’s a spy, he’s likely in your midst. Or she. Saturday evening would be a good time to have a look around.”
That made more sense than someone waiting to hurt her. Having a logical explanation let her take her first deep breath in hours. “We have security. I’ll have them check and see if anything odd happened and who was in the building at the time. But I’m sorry you thought I was worried about you. I’m not at all, Owen Shaw.”
“You weren’t happy to see me. I didn’t imagine that.”
“I was surprised. It took me off guard seeing you here,” she admitted. How to explain? “I think I could get my heart broken by you. I think I could get serious about you fast, and that’s not something I’m ready for. I don’t know that I ever will be again. I think what happened in the elevator was a crazy connection, but I’m not sure we should take it further than that. I have a date tomorrow. I’m not planning on getting serious about him either.”
He seemed to think about that for a moment. “Is that why you said no when I asked you to go to dinner with me?”
“I had to work late that night.”
A hard glint hit his eyes and she was surprised that it didn’t frighten her off at all. That dark look on his face made him hotter because she didn’t believe for a second that he would hurt her in a physical fashion, though she wondered how rough he would get if he let himself off the leash.
Sex with her ex had been good. They’d been quite compatible, but she’d taken the lead in most of it. There had been something about the way Owen Shaw had asked her to let him take over, and then when she’d agreed how he’d mastered her body, that she couldn’t stop thinking about. It had been a hurried affair. What if they’d had a whole night? How would Owen Shaw make love to a woman when there were no time constraints?
“That’s a lie,” he said, his sensual lips forming a flat line. “I don’t like it when you lie to me. I would prefer honesty. You don’t want to go out with me at all, do you? Just tell me, and I’ll back off.”
But she didn’t want him to back off. “All right. You want honesty? I don’t want to be exclusive with anyone, Owen. I’m not in a place where I can have a relationship. I would like very much to be friendly with you, but I think you’re the kind of man who could get possessive.”
“And I think you’re the type of woman who won’t be able to hold herself apart no matter how much she wants to.” The dark look on his face was replaced with sensual amusement. “Are you saying you aren’t opposed to repeating the experience?”
Just like that she could feel her nipples perk up. Damn, he was a sexy man. She wanted him, but she heard herself saying, “I don’t know.”
He reached out and his fingertips brushed back her hair. “When you figure it out, why don’t you let me know. I think that we’re both adults with demanding jobs. We likely don’t have a ton of time to date, but I know I for one wouldn’t hate having someone to go to bed with at night or to share an occasional meal with. I definitely think I would like a woman who appreciates what I can give her in bed, and I’m not just talking about my cock. I’m talking about more than mere sex. Do you understand? I want you to think about this while we’re having dinner. Actually, for the next few days if you need them.”
She was back to not being able to breathe, though it was a pleasant experience. Anticipation. Longing. Curiosity. “What do you mean it’s more than sex?”
“I want more,” he said, his voice a husky temptation. “I want a few nights a week where we play. Do you understand what I mean by play?”
She hadn’t lived under a rock. Melissa had dragged her out to that movie she’d been crazy about. She’d sat there in the darkened theater filled with a crowd of swooning women and she hadn’t admitted that she wondered what it would feel like. Not the all-day stuff. Not letting some man pick her clothes and tell her what to eat. That would make her punch the asshole.
But the sex stuff… Not having to think for a few hours a day. Trusting her lover enough to give him control of her body and her pleasure. Exploring with him.
“You’re talking about dominance and submission,” she whispered, trying to ensure no one else heard them. “I would assume it’s your dominance.”
He was staring at her lips. “Aye. And your submission.”
That accent had gotten so much thicker and he’d said “aye” not “yes” the way he normally would, as though the very thought of it made him somehow more primal.
“I’ve never…played before.” But she’d thought about it.
“That’s not a problem. I’ve played enough for both of us. All you have to do is follow my commands. I’ll ensure your pleasure, your relaxation. On a night when we play, you will belong to me and I will be possessive. The good news is you can tell me no and I’ll walk away. If you tell me to stay away, I will. This is only good for me if it’s good for you.”
“You would spank me?” The question didn’t come out shocked because she wasn’t. And that kind of shocked her. She was a genius at the top of her game.
She was also a woman who needed sex and emotion and connection, even if it was only for a few hours a week.
“Only if you like to be spanked.”
She had to push him before she made the decision. “But I know there’s punishment.”
“Only if you need it to feel happy and complete,” he explained. “Or if you wanted accountability for something.”
River walked up, a smile on her face. “It’s time for dinner, you two.”
He nodded her way. “We’ll be right there.” When their hostess had walked away, he turned his attention back on Becca. Such focus. When he looked at her like that, she felt like she was the only woman in the room. “Think about it, Becca. I’m willing to play with you. I’m more than willing. I want you. If all I can get is a night a week, I’ll take it. As long as when you’re with me, you’re with me, then I won’t ask questions about the rest of your social life.”
He wouldn’t care that she was dating other men. Or he might care, but he wouldn’t give her hell for it. He would likely date as well. They would be free to explore sex with each other, but also free to explore outside their relationship.
This was dangerous, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. He was offering her everything she wanted. No holds barred. No strings attached.
But there might be rope.
“Think about it.” He took a deep breath and stepped back. “We should go.”
“Yes,” she said, her decision made. “We should.” She took his hand. “River, I’m so sorry. I have an emergency.”
The whole room was staring at her, but she knew what she needed and it was absolutely him.
“An emergency? Is everything okay?” River asked.
She started to lead Owen toward the door. “Everything will be. Thanks so much for inviting me. And Owen. He’s got to help me with my emergency.”
It was weak, but she honestly didn’t care. She’
d spent the last few hours feeling vulnerable, and this choice seemed to have brought her strength back.
“It’s definitely an emergency,” Owen affirmed in a low drawl. “It might take most of the night. Thanks for the party, Jax. River.”
She grabbed her purse and when he took the lead, she followed.
Chapter Nine
She led Owen into her apartment and silently thanked Cathy for the flowers that spruced the place up. Décor hadn’t been a priority since she’d moved in.
Of course, the prettiest thing in her place right now was the large predatory man glancing around, taking in his surroundings.
She took a breath and then let it out. Where was the panic? Shouldn’t she be asking herself what the hell she was doing? Shouldn’t she be questioning why she was about to talk about submitting to this man sexually?
Her lateral frontal pole was perfectly silent, having given way to her limbic system with a big old thumbs-up. As though the most sophisticated part of her brain had just told the primal part, “you go, girl.”
“Do you want another drink?” she asked, putting her purse on the foyer table and joining him in the living room.
“Do you need one?”
She didn’t take offense. She considered it for a moment. “No. I’m okay with my level of calm right now. I think another might dull the experience.”
He settled onto her big comfy couch. Big? She kind of got lost on it, but Owen’s body took up all the space. “I’m glad to hear that. I’m not going to drink for the rest of the night either. I want to focus on you. Come here and sit on my lap. We need to go over a few rules first.”
Rules. Yes, she’d heard this whole lifestyle thing was about communication. As long as it ended with his penis communicating with her pussy, she was okay with it. And his lap looked awfully comfy.
She kicked off her flats and crossed the space between them. “I don’t do a lot of lap sitting. Should I call you ‘Sir’ or something?”
His eyes narrowed slightly. “Tell me you don’t read those books. Every bloody sub I know reads those books. They’re not like real life. In real life dungeons are in someone’s creepy basement. Well, unless they’re owned by multimillionaires or men who spend way too much money on dungeons.”
Oh, she would like to see one of those. “Do you play in someone’s creepy basement dungeon?”
His eyes lit up. “Not at all. I’m going to admit I know way too many of the multimillionaire types. I’ve done most of my play in lavish dungeons, but I get in because it’s part of my employment package. The multimillionaires often need security. I’m good at my job, and many of the men and women at the firm I work for are involved in the lifestyle, so they’re happy to give us access. You would be surprised at the high-powered people who enjoy playing.”
She moved in, awkwardly settling herself onto his lap, but when his arms went around her she felt her whole body relax. He was like a warm blanket, covering and surrounding her. “It doesn’t surprise me at all. Sex is an excellent way to relieve stress, and having rules and protocols would be attractive to type A personalities. I know I’ve thought about it. But I have to admit, the creepy dungeon might be fun, too.”
His lips curled up in that smirk she was coming to adore. “You might not have to wait long. Robert will likely find a house soon and start converting his basement. There’s a pervert for ya. Love him like a brother, but he’s got his quirks.”
“Do you have quirks?” She loved being so close to him. This was what they’d missed in their single encounter. They’d had all the talking and getting to know one another. Because of the nature of their location and the specifics of their situation, it could possibly have subbed for two or three dates’ worth of getting to know each other. They’d had the incredibly hot sex. But they hadn’t had the sensuality of touching and caressing and kissing before the hot sex. There was something tender about sitting in his lap, listening to the deep rumble of his voice.
“A couple,” he admitted. He looked content. His body was relaxed, as though he genuinely loved being exactly where he was. “I don’t talk about my past much. I prefer to look to the future. Couple of things you should know. I’ve never been married. Haven’t had a steady girlfriend in a long time. I work too much, drink too much.”
“I work too much,” she replied, liking his openness. “I hide too much, too. I get lost in routine. I could explain why. It’s got to do with the primal brain and comfort, but that’s also the part of the brain where addiction forms. Addiction can be to more than drugs and alcohol. It can be to patterns of behavior that hurt us. I’m worried I’m getting addicted to not feeling things.”
His hand slid up her hip. “Like pain?”
“Like anything.” It felt good to talk about it. She couldn’t with her coworkers and she didn’t want to worry her family, but this was something she’d thought about for a long time. “I feel like sometimes I’m not present at all. Even when I’m with my dad, I’m thinking about work. I’m glancing at the clock and wondering when I can go back because in that lab I don’t have to be anything but a doctor looking for a cure.”
“All right, then. Here you don’t have to be anything but a woman.” His other hand found her knee. “When we’re playing, you’re to let everything else go and concentrate on pleasing me. I’m going to do the same thing. When we agree we’re in a session, nothing else intrudes. You’re my only focus and I’m yours.”
That was exactly what she wanted. When they were together, they were together. When they weren’t, they were friends. He would be her retreat. “I assure you I’m wholly focused on you, Owen. But I would like to know the rules. I’d like to talk about them. I’m one of those people who likes to know what’s expected. I might or might not behave, but I don’t want to be caught off guard.”
That hand of his moved higher on her leg. “No high protocol and curse me all you like. For me that’s not a sign of disrespect. I’m a Dom because I like it, because I’m wired to take control, not because I need respect. If I do something you’re scared of or you find distasteful, tell me you’re yellow. I’ll stop and we’ll talk. If I hurt you in a way that doesn’t enhance your pleasure, you tell me red and it stops then and there. I’ll back off and I won’t touch you again until you’re comfortable.”
It struck her that he was offering her the best of all worlds. He would take control, but only until she didn’t want him to. She could explore how pain and pleasure and control intermingled and enhanced the sexual experience, but in the safest of ways. And he wasn’t an asshole about it. She’d read somewhere some dominant partners wouldn’t let their submissives touch them without permission. He wouldn’t do that to her. She wasn’t sure why she knew that, but she did. It made her bold, let her reach up and gently scrape her palm across his scruff. Sexy scruff.
She could swear that man purred for her.
“Affection will go a long way with me, love.” His eyes closed briefly as she rubbed a hand over his cheek and down to his neck. When they came open again she would have sworn she’d never seen blue eyes that hot before. “We’re starting now. Are you feeling all right about it?”
She nodded, watching the way his lips moved. Plump and sensual, she wanted to know how it felt to have them on her breasts and at her core. “I’m feeling very excited about starting. It went so fast the first time. I liked it, but I wanted more.”
His hand was warm between her thighs. Possessive. Not a word she loved, but it felt right now. “I did, too. I wanted to kiss you more, touch you more. I wanted to feel your mouth on me, put mine on you. Can I stay the night?”
She shouldn’t let him. She had a date tomorrow. Was she really going to get up from bed with him and get ready to go out with another man? Yet it was what they’d agreed on. What did she want? Couldn’t she indulge herself? “Yes.”
It would be a good way to figure out if this thing could work, if they could be…whatever they were talking about being. Fuck buddies. Booty calls.
Lovers.
“Good, because what I want to do is going to take a while. But first, I’m going to kiss you, Becca. I can’t stop thinking about how good it was to kiss you.”
“I want that, too.”
“All right then from now until either you tell me we’re done or we leave this apartment, I’m in charge. You’ll do as I say. You can ask any question you want. You can stop it, but give it a chance. From now at least until dawn, you belong to me. You’re my gorgeous fuck toy, and I assure you I’m going to use you well.”
Somehow every dirty word that came out of his mouth pulled her tauter, like a bowstring waiting to let fly. “Okay.”
A stupid word, but the only one she could think of at the moment since his hand was so close to her pussy. She couldn’t see his hand because she was still in her now too-tight skirt, but she could feel it, feel his heat and intent. God, she wanted him to stroke her.
She wanted to be his fuck toy all night long.
“Now you’re in for it, girl,” he said before his mouth covered hers. He kissed her long and slow, as though trying to show her how the night would go. Long. Patient. Luscious.
“I’m going to teach you something, Becca.” The words shimmered against her lips. “I’m going to teach you how to fuck like a man.”
She giggled. She couldn’t help it. “Do I get a strap-on?”
He growled at her, but it was a playful sound and his arms tightened. That hand on her thigh finally skimmed over her pussy and she shivered at the touch, heat flashing through her. No man in the world had ever gotten her so hot so fast. If he’d wanted to, she would have allowed him to shove her on the couch, push her skirt up, and fuck her right then and there.
“You’ll never get a strap-on, love,” he said against her ear as those clever fingers of his started teasing their way inside her panties. “That’s not what I meant. A man doesn’t think about anything but sex when he’s fucking. Well, unless he’s trying his damnedest to make it last and then he’ll think some boring-as-hell thoughts. But mostly all he thinks about is how he feels. How do you feel right now, Becca?”
