by Lila Lacroix
“I wish Stephanie had let me tell you,” Philippe finally said.
“Your sister? What did she have to tell you?”
Philippe sighed, not speaking for a minute, as if to figure out how he was going to say what he wanted.
“I was going to tell you this after you left yesterday. I texted you, I came here, I called you, I decided that no matter what Stephanie thought, I had to warn you. You know how Stephanie was going to become a photographer?”
I nodded, remembering the conversation, and not liking where this one was going.
“Stephanie was a promising up and coming photographer. She was chosen by Jacques Laflamme to study under him, and she was thrilled. He was a great teacher, she always said, and so polite. Then things changed. She started to complain about the attention he seemed to give her. Then one day, they were working late together, and he tried to kiss her. Stephanie pushed away, told him she wasn’t into him that way, and he raped her. Right there in that studio.”
My breath caught as I realized the implications. I wasn’t the first person Jacques had done this to. Holy shit.
“Stephanie went to the police, but Jacques is so well connected, they just laughed at her. They told her she should have expected it, being a young girl working in such close quarters with a man used to looking at topless women all day. She never got justice, and she hasn’t touched a camera since. She made me swear that I would never tell anyone what happened to her, no matter what. She didn’t want it to come out now that she had changed careers. I was going to break that promise yesterday, to warn you. I wish I had. Oh fuck, Sophie, how I wish I had. I’m so sorry.”
I took Philippe’s hands in mine. God, I loved how his skin felt against mine. I looked him in the eyes.
“This is no more your fault than it is mine, Philippe. It’s entirely his fault. It wasn’t yours.”
“Thanks, Sophie. I would have expected you to blame me. I hope you can understand why I didn’t want to tell you why you should stay away from Jacques. I made a promise.”
“I know. I understand. I wouldn’t want anyone telling my story without my permission either.”
“I didn’t think I would ever see Jacques again. I was in Versailles by chance that day. It had been such a nice day I decided to go for a stroll in the park, where we used to play as children. I saw you first, looking through the park with such wonder. The instant I saw your face, Sophie, I felt something I had never felt before in my life. You were hands down the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. All of a sudden everything else seemed so empty. All I could see was your smile as you moved through the garden, like a nymph in the forest, free as a bird. Love at first sight might be a cliché, but it was my reality. Then I saw Jacques coming up behind you, and my world was shattered.”
I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. What Philippe had just told me was the most romantic thing I had ever heard in my life.
“When I saw Jacques, I saw Stephanie’s pain. I heard her screams when she woke up at night, I saw the flame that had disappeared from her eyes. I was sworn to secrecy, but I still wanted to do something to help you. You were so beautiful, so pure, I couldn’t let that dirty man get his paws on you.”
“I wish I had listened to you, Philippe. I wish I had. I felt something when I first saw you, staring at me across from the fountain. I knew there was something different about you. And yet, I didn’t know why you were warning me. Jacques had seemed so nice. He had seemed like a gentleman, and I guess I fell for his act completely. I was a sucker, plain and simple.”
“You’re young Sophie. You were in a new country, you were vulnerable. He’s used to doing this sort of thing, preying on women. It isn’t your fault. It’s absolutely not your fault at all.”
“I just keep looking back and wondering if I should have seen it coming. He took me to the opening of a club where I got drunk, despite knowing my mother was an alcoholic. He didn’t do anything to me that night, but was that him testing me? I don’t know now.”
“Try not to overanalyze it too much. The man’s a monster, but he’s good at what he does. You’re at least the second girl he has done this to, and there are probably more out there that we don’t know about.”
“I love you, Philippe.”
I don’t know why I said those words. They came out of nowhere, completely out of nowhere. But they felt right. As we sat there on the floor together, I realized I loved Philippe. I absolutely loved him like I had never loved anyone before.
“I love you too, Sophie,” Philippe whispered back to me, and I hugged him.
Pressing our bodies together, we held each other close for a few minutes. I now understood the darkness in Philippe’s eyes, the past that haunted him. It was his sister’s pain, the experience she had gone through which haunted him. I wanted to hold Philippe forever. He was such a huge comfort to me. Finally, he pulled away.
“Listen to me Sophie. I failed my sister by not being there for her. I’m not going to fail you. I want you to stay here and pack your things. It isn’t safe for you here anymore. I don’t know if Jacques will come after you again, but I want you to come stay with me for a while, ok?”
I nodded. That made perfect sense. I didn’t really want to stay here alone anyway. I knew Philippe would take care of me.
“While you’re doing that, I’m going to go for a while. I’m going to make sure that Jacques never releases the photos of you, and I’m going to make sure that he pays for what he’s done to you and never does this to another girl again.”
He stood up and helped me to my feet.
“Are you ok here by yourself for a while?”
“Yeah, I am. Hey Philippe?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you. Thank you for everything. I owe you so much.”
“Nonsense. It is me who owes you. My life is so much better with you in it, and I promise I will never let anything happen to you again.”
“I know. Thanks.”
When Philippe went I set about packing up my things. I didn’t have much. After all, I was a poor student and all of the furnishings came with the apartment. Basically all I had to pack up was my suitcase.
As I was getting my things ready, I found the photos I had printed of the first set I had done with Jacques. I cried as I looked at them. The photos I had found so beautiful not long ago were now so ugly I couldn’t stand to look at them. I tore them into as many tiny pieces as I could and flushed them down the toilet. I didn’t want to see them again, ever.
When I was finished packing, I watched some TV to try and take my mind off things. I wasn’t sure what Philippe was going to do. I could have dissuaded him from doing whatever it was, but I knew he needed it as much as I wanted it. I wanted Jacques to suffer. There was no point in going to the cops, they had laughed at Stephanie. But I didn’t want Jacques to get away with this scot free.
Still, I worried about Philippe. He was gone for quite a while, and I hoped he hadn’t gotten into too much trouble. I stared at the clock on the microwave, checked my phone every two minutes, hoping for a knock on the door, or a text letting me know he was ok.
As I looked out my window and saw that night had fallen, I began to worry even more, until finally there was a knock at the door. It was Philippe.
“Oh thank God, I was starting to get worried,” I told him as I let him into the room. “Are you ok? You smell like smoke.”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks Sophie. You don’t need to worry. All of the photos are gone. He won’t ever be able to put them on the internet.”
“Thanks Philippe. Thank you.”
“It was the least I could do. Now, are you ready to go?”
I nodded.
“Excellent. This isn’t exactly the way I had pictured inviting you to come live with me, but I guess it’ll have to do,” he joked, and I cracked a smile for the first time in what felt like ages.
Thanks to Philippe, I felt safe. I was going to leave here, go somewhere where there was no chance that
Jacques could find me.
I took one last look at the apartment that had been my home for the past few months. I didn’t know if I was going to come back here again, ever.
Chapter Fifteen
Philippe took me to his apartment. It was small, like all those in Paris, but cozy. There was only one bedroom, but Philippe told me I was welcome to take his bed, and he would sleep on the couch.
“Thanks. I appreciate all that you’re doing for me.”
“No problem, Sophie. Do you need anything else? If you would like I can schedule you for an appointment with a therapist. There are free counselling services offered for students at the university.”
I shook my head.
“No, thanks. I don’t know if I want to do that yet.”
“Ok, that’s fine. Just let me know if you change your mind.”
“Thanks. I think I might just go to bed. I’m really exhausted.”
“Yeah, sure, no problem.”
A few minutes later I was lying in Philippe’s bed, staring at the ceiling. None of this really felt like real life. Everything was happening so fast. I had told Philippe I loved him. He had gone and done something, somehow gotten rid of the photos that Jacques had taken of me. I was so thankful Philippe was in my life. What a change from barely over twenty four hours ago when I yelled at him, furious that he seemed to be jealous of Jacques. Oh, how stupid I had been.
I don’t know how long it took, but eventually I fell asleep. My slumber was racked with nightmares once more. I was trapped in Jacques’ studio, I couldn’t leave. He was coming near me, his camera clicking. I tried to scream, but I couldn’t. I was frozen in place, I couldn’t move. I recognized the look on his face, it was that same look of lust, I knew what was coming. He came closer and closer, only inches away from me...
I woke up screaming bloody murder. I looked around, not instantly recognizing where I was, and that only made things worse. Philippe ran into the room, wearing only his boxers. He immediately jumped next to me and wrapped his arms around me.
“It’s ok, Sophie. You’re safe. He’s not here. You’re safe.”
I started to cry. Why wouldn’t this torture end? Why couldn’t I forget this had happened?
“I fucking hate this,” I whispered, my energy sapped. I had no idea what time it was, I didn’t know how long I’d slept for, but I had a feeling it wasn’t long.
“I know. I know. Time will help you heal, Sophie” Philippe murmured. I could feel the heat of his body pressed against mine. I could feel that spark of electricity between us, that spark that sent me absolutely wild with desire. Without thinking, I looked up at Philippe, leaned in and kissed him.
The instant our lips touched it was like the electricity I felt whenever we touched grew. It was more like being struck by lightning. My blood began to simmer inside of me. I felt heat unlike anything I had ever felt before. There was a tug in my nether regions, my body desperate for more.
Philippe kissed me back, with a passion I had never expected or experienced with a man before. His lips were soft but strong, his muscular arms wrapping around me. I hadn’t realized until now just what an amazing body he had. With only the light fabric of his boxers hiding his most intimate areas from me, I could admire the rest of him. His chest and stomach were tight, muscular with so little fat on them I wondered if he ever ate anything. He could have been an athlete, he looked so good.
I moaned lightly as Philippe slipped his tongue into my mouth for a moment before moving his mouth from mine, down towards my neck.
“Oh, Philippe,” I muttered. “I’ve wanted this for so long.”
“Me too. Oh fuck, me too. Ever since I first saw you, Sophie, I knew I had to have you,” he murmured back as his soft kisses found my neckline. I threw my head back, closing my eyes to enjoy the sensation of his lips on my skin. Every time they touched me pleasure radiated through me, like a tsunami of pleasure washing over me. I could feel the pleasure building inside of Philippe as well, his hardness pressing against me as he kissed me.
Philippe’s hands roamed around my body, exploring me. His hands found the hem of my shirt and he began to pull it up, then suddenly pulled away.
“I’m sorry Sophie, we shouldn’t be doing this.”
“What? Why not?” I replied, sitting up. I was confused. Didn’t we both want this?
“I don’t... I don’t want to take advantage of you. I don’t want you to feel that I’m taking advantage of you, I don’t want you moving too quickly for your comfort level after all you’ve been through. I don’t want to ruin what we might have for the sake of one night of pleasure.”
“No, I want this. Believe me, Philippe. I want this. I want you.”
“You might think that now, but I don’t want you to regret it in the morning.”
“I won’t regret it, Philippe. I know I won’t.”
“I promise you, Sophie, we’ll do this. But let’s just give it some time, so that neither of us do something that we might later regret.”
I knew deep down Philippe was right. I wasn’t in a good place emotionally, this wasn’t the right time to do something like this. But still, I couldn’t deny my body’s desires. I couldn’t stop the juices from flowing inside of me. I couldn’t stop the spasms of pleasure, of desire, that ran through my body, my brain urging my hands to grab Philippe once more, rip off his boxers and make him take me right here, right now.
“Fine. You’re right. I might just try and get some more sleep.”
“That’s a good idea, I think. You look exhausted.”
“Can you stay here with me, for a while?” I asked.
“Of course.”
We settled into the bed together. Philippe wrapped his arm around me, holding me softly against him as I finally drifted off to sleep once more.
It was the best sleep I’d had since the shoot with Jacques. When I woke up, birds were happily chirping outside and sunlight streamed through the window. I remember thinking that spring was definitely here. Philippe still had his arm around me as he slept lightly. I stayed there, enjoying the feeling of being in his arms for a while. It felt nice, I felt secure with Philippe holding me.
Eventually I decided to get up. I left the bed slowly so as to not wake Philippe and went into the other room, where a suitcase and laptop bag held all of my worldly possessions on this side of the world. I took my computer out of its bag and turned it on. I still couldn’t get the memories of what Jacques had done to me out of my head. I opened the news to try and get my mind off things. When I saw the first headline pop up on the news website, my jaw dropped open.
“Famous Photographer Injured in Studio Fire,” complete with a small photo of Jacques superimposed in the corner of another photo, this time the smoldering remains of the building that had been his studio. I clicked on the article, and as my eyes scanned the page, I suddenly realized what Philippe had gone and done last night, and why he came back smelling like smoke.
“Famous fashion photographer Jacques Laflamme is in hospital today after suffering from severe smoke inhalation at his studio last night, after what appears to be a case of arson. The word “Violeur”, French for “Rapist” was spray painted on the sidewalk near the studio, and it seems all of the photographer’s photography equipment was destroyed prior to the blaze. Police encourage anyone with knowledge of this attack to come forward. They mentioned that Mr. Laflamme is also suffering from other undisclosed injuries unrelated to the fire. He was rescued from the flames by an anonymous young man who then left the scene. Police would like to speak to this young gentleman if possible.”
I knew instantly that it was Philippe who had done this. He had done this for me. It was no wonder, the photos were definitely gone. Burnt, along with all of Jacques’ photography equipment. Good riddance, as far as I was concerned.
Just then I saw a form emerge from the bedroom. Philippe smiled at me, and I felt like melting into the cushions. That beautiful, perfect body of his standing in front of me, his hair just a
little bit messy, his arms stretching wide, his muscles bulging in all the right places, his abs leading down to the part I most wanted to see, still covered by his boxers sent me absolutely wild with desire.
“How did you sleep?” he asked.
“Better, thanks. I didn’t wake up screaming, so that’s an improvement.”
“I’m glad to hear it.”
“Hey, I was looking at the news, and, I think I found out what you went and did last night.”
“Did he survive?”
I nodded.
“Yeah, someone dragged him out of the studio, police are looking for that person.”
“That was me. I was just going to let him burn to death with all his stuff, then changed my mind at the last second.”
“The article mentioned ‘undisclosed injuries’. Did you do that too?”
“Philippe nodded. “That was what changed my mind about whether to leave him in there. This way he’ll have to live the rest of his life knowing that he’ll never be able to do what he did to you or Stephanie again.”
I had a suspicion I knew exactly what Philippe meant. There was no way Jacques would ever hurt another woman again.
“And the photos are all gone?”
“Yes. I broke in first and checked his computer before he got there. He didn’t have any storage, cloud storage, I think you call it in English. It was all on his computer only. So I destroyed it all, I made sure that no one will ever see those photos.”
“Thank you, Philippe. Thank you so much.”
“It is not a problem. Not a problem at all. The man deserved much worse than he got. I only wish I had been brave enough to do this long ago, perhaps this would never have happened to you. Now, you must be hungry. Did you want to go and get breakfast?”
Almost on cue, my stomach rumbled. I realized it must have been basically days since I’d eaten.
“Yeah, I’m actually starving.”
“Cool, give me a few minutes to look presentable and we’ll get going.”
