Garrett leaned forward and clasped his hands between his thighs. “Well, son, if she’s enough of a woman to make you want to let go of the past, then she already has my vote.”
“Mine too,” Janice added.
I hadn’t realized it until they both said it, but that was exactly what I needed to hear. Their words, offered with so much sincerity, meant absolutely everything to me.
* * *
“Hey, sweetheart,” I muttered as I brushed the snow from the cold stone that read:
Addison Mallick.
Beloved wife, mother, and daughter.
“I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to visit. I’ve been a real asshole the past three and a half years. But you probably already knew that, huh?”
I smiled as I traced her name with the tip of my index finger. “It’s taken me a long time to do a lot of things, honey, but I’m finally starting to heal everything I broke after you died.” My voice dropped to barely above a whisper as I continued to talk to my wife. “I met someone. I didn’t mean for it to happen. Hell, I didn’t want it to happen for the longest time. But she got under my skin.
“I think you’d really like her. She’s great with Sophia. She gives everything she has to the people she cares about, and she loves ‘Landslide.’” I chuckled as I rested on my haunches. “She even taught that song to our daughter to help chase away bad dreams. How’s that for coincidence?”
My palm flattened against the chilled marble, and I had to close my eyes and bow my head as I allowed my feelings to course through me. “I’ll always love you sweetheart. Always. You’ll have a piece of my heart until I take my last breath. But I think it’s time I give another piece to Lilly. You’ll be a part of me for the rest of my life, Addy. I’ll make sure Sophia knows what an amazing woman her mother was, and how much we loved each other, but it was time for me to start moving on. I hope you’re okay with that. I think you would be, but that doesn’t make this any easier.”
Looking down at my left hand, I toyed with the gold band that sat around my ring finger. Time to move on, I thought. That meant finally taking this off. My heart ached as I slipped the ring off my finger, but it wasn’t the same debilitating ache I’d suffered with for years. It was more bittersweet. The end of one thing and the beginning of something new. Maybe one day, when she was old enough, I’d give the ring to Sophia as a way to remember her mother. I’d put it on a chain so she could wear it around her neck as a constant reminder that her mother was loved whole-heartedly. Sophia would love that.
Bringing the ring to my lips, I placed a kiss on the cold metal before sliding it into my front pocket.
I inhaled through my nose, blowing out slowly between my lips as I stood from the ground. “You gave me absolutely everything I needed when I had you. You taught me how to be a better man, a man worthy of the love of two of the best women I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing. Thank you for giving me that, honey. I hope I was able to give you the same thing.”
Kissing my fingertips, I bent and placed the right over her name. “I’ll be back again, I promise. I love you, Addy. Always.”
I stood tall and turned back toward my rental car. Just as I lifted my head, something from the corner of my eye caught my attention. I turned my head just as the sun peaked out from behind the dreary gray clouds that always hung over the Seattle sky, and a rainbow formed, its colors pale but clear as day against the gray backdrop.
My lips spread into a smile that reached all the way to my eyes, and I kept my gaze on that rainbow as I made my way back to the car. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind what that meant. Addy was happy for me. And that was her way of telling me I’d given her everything she needed.
36
Quinn
One month later
I turned from the stove and slid a plate of pancakes in front of Sophia. She didn’t bother lifting her head from her hand as she reached for her fork.
“Why the long face, Angel?”
She shrugged her shoulders and stuffed a huge bite of pancake in her mouth without answering. “Sophia.”
She finally brought her eyes to mine and let out a dramatic sigh. “I miss Miss Lilly.”
I lifted one of my eyebrows as I bent to rest my elbows on the island in front of her. “You see her all the time in dance class, honey.”
“Yeah, but that’s not the same,” she insisted. “I miss her coming here for dinner and hanging out with us. I miss her making you laugh really hard.”
“I laugh all the time, sweetheart.”
She gave me a sarcastic scowl that only a seven-year old girl could pull off. “Not like you do with Miss Lilly.”
I let out a small sigh of defeat. “You really miss her being around, huh?”
Her look screamed duh. “And she’s sad like, all the time.”
My back snapped straight and I frowned down at my daughter. “What do you mean?”
She shrugged again. “I dunno, like, she’s just sad. She doesn’t look happy like she used to. And sometimes, when I hug her, she looks like she wants to cry. It makes me sad. I want her to be happy, and I want you to laugh at her funny jokes.”
I knew the feeling. Each day without her had dragged into the next at a snail’s pace. I missed her so much it hurt, but I knew I couldn’t try to win her back if I hadn’t fixed myself first. So I had to give it time, no matter how fucking much I hated it. My actions meant more to her than my words, I needed to prove I was the man she deserved.
And I was trying.
There were still subtle reminders of Addy around the house, but that was more for Sophia’s benefit than anything else. My wedding ring was sitting tucked away in a drawer, waiting for my daughter to be old enough to have it. The picture that used to rest on my bedside table now sat in a box on my closet shelf. I didn’t get rid of anything, but it was packed away, ready and waiting to be pulled out when the time came to tell Sophia stories about her mother.
My therapist said I was making progress, and I walked out of each session feeling like I’d shed a bit more of that guilt I’d been carrying. For the first time in years I felt better, almost happy.
Almost.
Because I didn’t think I could be fully and totally happy until I had Lilly back. But I was closer than I had been.
And I felt like the time had finally come.
“Hey Angel?” I called, taking Sophia’s attention back from her pancakes.
“Yeah, Daddy?”
“What would you say if Miss Lilly started coming around here a lot more often?”
Her face broke out in a huge smile. “That’d be awesome!”
That was what I’d thought. I nodded my head, more determined than ever to take this final leap. It wasn’t just for me, it was for Sophia, too. Me and my daughter both needed Lilly in our lives.
I needed to make a grand gesture.
And I knew exactly how I was going to do it. But I was going to need help.
* * *
Lilly
“God, I feel like I have to pee again.”
I cut a look at Eliza as she hopped from foot to foot, her hands holding her belly. She looked about ready to pop.
“Then go pee,” I told her. “I don’t know why you’re back here anyway. You have a nice, comfortable seat in the audience.”
She shrugged her shoulders and continued her pregnant pee dance. “The show hasn’t even started yet, and I’ve never been back stage before. I was curious. Isn’t this where all the action’s supposed to happen?”
I giggled and turned fully to face my best friend. “It’s the Spring Showcase, Eliza. Not a Broadway production. These are just kids, it’s not like there’ll be much action.”
I could have sworn I heard her mutter, “You never know,” under her breath, but before I could question it, Ethan came hustling up to us. “Did I miss it?”
“Not yet,” Eliza answered, turning her head so he could place a kiss on her lips.
“Miss what?” I asked in completely bewilde
rment. “What are you guys talking about?”
“Nothing!” Ethan grinned widely before changing the subject. “Did Eliza tell you the good news?”
“What good news?”
“We’re moving back!” she squeaked excitedly, clapping her hands together.
My mouth dropped open and my eyes nearly bugged out of my head. “What? When? How?”
“Ethan’s retiring.”
I looked up at him, surprised to see he didn’t look upset about it in the least. “But… you’re only like, thirty!”
He shrugged like it was no big deal. “Yeah, but my knee hasn’t been the same since the injury.”
I gave him a skeptical look. “You just won the Super Bowl. I’d say your knee’s doing pretty damn good.”
“Yeah, but better to get out while I’m on top, right?” His hand traveled down to his wife’s belly. “Plus, when this little guy—”
“Or girl!” Eliza jumped in.
“Comes along, we want to raise him, or her, here around family. It’s already a done deal. And Noah hooked me up with a coaching job at the high school.”
I would have worried he wasn’t happy — football had been his dream since he was a kid — but he looked so damn excited at the thought of starting his family here in Pembrooke, that I couldn’t help but feel overjoyed.
“So, I’m getting my best friend back, full time?”
“Yes!” Eliza yelped.
We both squealed and hugged each other tightly. The past several months had been so depressing that getting news like this filled me with a much-needed warmth.
“What’s happening?” Kyle asked as he and Samantha came rushing our way. “Did we miss it?”
What the hell was wrong with everyone? “What are you guys talking about? What’s there to miss?” Each of them gave me a different brand of a secretive smile, and I could have sworn they’d been huffing fumes. Was everyone around me losing their minds?
“Hi, honey.”
I spun around, my forehead wrinkling in confusion. “Mom? What are you doing back here?”
She waved me off. “Oh, I just wanted to come and wish you luck.”
I looked around the group of people surrounding me. “Seriously, what’s up with everyone? The show’s starting in fifteen minutes. You two,” I pointed at Kyle and Samantha, “should be getting the kids ready. And you guys,” I waved my hand at Mom, Eliza, and Ethan, “should be in your seats.”
“The kids are ready and raring to go,” Kyle said, giving me a wink. No one moved from our little huddle.
I opened my mouth to speak up when a familiar little voice shouted out, “Miss Lilly!”
My head whipped around and down as Sophia came rushing at me, wrapping her arms and me and squeezing tight. “Hey, Little Miss,” I smiled down at her. “What are you doing? You should be getting ready.”
She looked at me with that beaming smile I loved so much. “I got a surprise!”
I hefted her up and rested her on my hip. “Yeah? I love surprises. What is it?”
“Look!” she shouted, pointing in the direction of the stairs at the side of the stage that led down into the already packed auditorium. All the air rushed from my lungs as Quinn made his way toward us. He wore another suit that only accentuated his perfect body and in his right hand was a massive bouquet of the most perfect red roses.
Seeing him walking in my direction was a massive blow to my system. Sure, it had been impossible to completely evade him in such a small town, especially with me being his daughter’s dance teacher. But I’d done everything I could the past few months to avoid eye contact, and we hadn’t spoken a word to each other since my meltdown after my father’s funeral.
He stopped just close enough for me to smell the intoxicating scent of his cologne, and with that familiar scent came a wave of memories of our time together that had me battling back tears. I’d put in so much work the past few months to move past all the sadness. I thought I’d finally gotten past the uncontrollable crying fits, but here, now, I was dangerously close to bursting into ugly sobs.
“Quinn,” I said on an expelled breath.
“Hey, baby.” Then he smiled. Smiled. All the way to his eyes, and the beauty of it hit me square in the stomach. I’d never seen anything so amazing in all my life.
“What… what are you doing here?”
He scooped Sophia up with his free arm and gently placed her feet on the floor before lifting the roses. “I wanted to give you these.”
I moved on autopilot, taking the flowers from his hand as I stuttered, “Th-thank you. They’re, um, they’re beautiful.”
His right hand came up and caressed my cheek, the pad of his thumb trailing along my cheekbone to my temple. Just that simple touch was like an electric jolt. “Not nearly as beautiful as you.”
What was happening? Was I dreaming? That was the only logical explanation for the baffling turn my day had suddenly taken.
“I don’t,” I stumbled over my words, as his green eyes held mine captive. His gorgeous smiling green eyes. “I don’t know what’s happening right now,” I whispered.
He took one step closer, both of his hands cupping the sides of my neck as his fingers threaded through my hair. “What’s happening is I’ve been a fucking idiot.”
“Language, son!” At the unexpected female voice, I tipped my head to the side and noticed, for the first time, that Quinn’s parents were standing right behind him… and beside them were Addison’s.
Quinn’s hands shifted my face back so I was looking up at him. “I’ve been an idiot,” he amended. “I’ve missed you so much, Lilly. And I couldn’t wait another day to see you.”
I put pressure on his hands, needing to break the connection between us. I couldn’t handle it. It was too much. My poor, battered heart couldn’t possibly take another beating. “I don’t—”
“I’m in love with you,” he spoke, loud and firm, and I froze in place, my eyes going wide as my jaw dropped. “I love you, baby. I have for a long time. But I needed to work on letting go of my past before I could come back for you. I needed to prove to you that I’m the kind of man who deserves you.”
I couldn’t process what he was saying. After having my heart broken so completely, I didn’t trust my own ears, so instead of saying what my heart was screaming for me to say, that I loved him too, I leaned in and spit out the first words that came to mind.
“Quinn, everyone’s watching,” I whispered, as my gaze darted around our captivated audience. “They can hear you.”
He chuckled lightly as his hands gave me a squeeze. “I know, baby. I asked them to be here.”
I reared back as far as I could with his hold on me. “What? Why?”
“Because if there’s one thing I learned in everything I put you through, it’s that my actions speak louder than my words. I couldn’t just tell you I loved you. I had to show you.”
His hands unwound from my hair and reached down, taking the roses from my hand and passing them off to Kyle so he could grip my own. I lowered my gaze and sucked in an audible breath that what I saw.
Or, more to the point, what I didn’t.
His ring was gone.
“Lilly,” he said, pulling my attention back to his face. “You aren’t my dirty little secret. I’m not ashamed to be with you, I never was. I just had to learn how to let go of my past before I could give you exactly what you needed. But I’m ready to do that now. I love you with everything I am. And I’m asking… no, I’m begging you to give me another chance, because I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”
Damn it. I was crying again. In front of everybody. But I couldn’t find it in me to care. “You really love me?”
He smiled that smile that took my breath away. “Since the first time you set your kitchen on fire.”
I threw my head back and laughed, loudly and from deep within my belly. When I finally looked back at him, his eyes were on my dimple. He lifted our joined hands and ran the tip of his finger acro
ss it. “God I’ve missed seeing this.”
The warmth in my chest spread through my entire body, blanketing me in happiness. “I love you too,” I rasped, as more tears spilled from my eyes.
A loud, hiccuping sob cut through the moment, drawing my and Quinn’s attention away from each other.
“Sorry,” Eliza blubbered when we all looked at her. She waved her hands in front of her face like she was trying to stop crying. “Sorry. It’s just so beautiful.” She burst into another round of sobs as her face pinched up. “Oh god, these pregnancy hormones are the worst!”
Ethan wrapped an arm around her shoulders and drew her in so her front was pressed to his side. He buried her face in his chest and he waved at us. “Carry on.”
Quinn and I both laughed as we faced each other once again. “So,” he asked, using his grip on my hands to pull me flush against him. “Does this mean you’ll take me back?”
I nodded wildly, and gave him a watery smile. “Yes.”
He dropped his head back and declared, “Thank Christ!” to the ceiling.
“Yay!” Sophia shouted. “Miss Lilly’s gonna be Daddy’s girlfriend! I want a little sister for Christmas!”
I burst into another peal of laughter, only for Quinn to cut it off with a toe-curling kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and stood on my tiptoes to kiss him back with the exact same enthusiasm. It was by far the best moment of my life. I never wanted it to end.
Unfortunately, Kyle had to clear his throat and ruin it. “Sorry to break up this happily ever after, folks. But we’ve got a show to put on.”
“Oh God! I completely forgot!” I cried, jumping from Quinn’s embrace to turn and shout across the backstage area. “Five minutes, guys! Everyone get in place for the opening number!” The kids who’d been scattered all around started rushing to get into place.
Welcome to Pembrooke: the complete Pembrooke series Page 64
