I had no idea what the fuck was up with me?
I had wanted two things as a teenager, to write and sing my own music, and to own a Defender like my dad had driven around on the base. I had achieved them both and now it appeared I was hell bent on something else.
I wanted her.
But, I had no idea who she was. The whole thing was fucking crazy.
What had really fucked me up and caused me to spend a very sleepless night, was that I had no idea who she was with now. Who was the ungrateful bastard she had rushed off to be with last night? He sure as hell hadn’t married her. For the first time ever, I’d looked at a ring finger to check. No ring on her finger, so as far as I was concerned she was available.
Was he good to her? I wasn’t so fucking sure. She looked like she could do with someone to look after her. If I found out he wasn’t good to her, or didn’t look after her the way I could see she needed, he was going to find himself with one hell of a fucking fight on his hands to keep hold of her.
What man would allow his woman out on a night like last night, driving around in that unsafe crock of shit. If she was mine, I’d have driven over to pick her up.
If she was mine?
I’d never allowed anyone I’d ever been with before to think I was even monogamous, let alone let them think they were mine. Because I had never been, nor did I want them to be. It came with the job. As did everything dysfunctional. We’d had everything thrown at us from a very young age, money, drugs, alcohol, and sex in various forms, but rarely anything real. It had been so bad at some points that I couldn’t tell night from day. It had taken a couple of deaths, and the promise of more to come, for us to sort out our shit. But after we’d all made it through to the other side, we made sure we looked after our own.
I wanted her, and with all the years I had spent with the world at my feet never hearing the answer no, I was a spoilt bastard. I wasn’t prepared to take no for an answer.
When The Manor had been officially opened, and we had time to concentrate on something else, I was going to find her.
I made myself that promise.
I heard myself exhale loudly as I tried once again to get my mind onto something else.
I looked up at the shining road ahead, squinting behind my Aviators, and I spotted something else on the road except me. I could see the back end of a small, pale blue car on the right-hand side of the road. After slowing down as I came nearer, I realised it had probably lost control on the ice. Some of the narrow English lanes had ditches to either side of them, for rain water, and the front of the car had gone down into one. As exhaust fumes were still blowing out, I could see it had only just happened. I peered harder to get a better look at the stranded vehicle.
‘FUCK NO!’ I exclaimed, slamming my left hand down hard on the steering wheel.
Unbelievable. It was hers. My heart accelerated quickly until it was banging hard in the confines of my chest, at the thought of what I might find.
I clicked on my hazards and slowed down to a stop. Not thinking about anything else, I flung open the door and jumped out to help her.
‘You OK?’ I shouted as I wrenched open the creaking door. Holding the door open wide and gripping onto the roof, I bent down to her. My eyes took a quick look around. Thank fuck, I couldn’t see any blood. Relief flooded my system as she started to turn to look at me, and I started to smile at her in reassurance.
Then a strong fucking smell of fish hit me straight at the back of the fucking throat. My stomach convulsed and I coughed away the feeling to retch.
Fuck, I hate fucking fish.
Reeling, I moved my head to the left to breathe in some much-needed fresh air.
‘I don’t know what happened…’ she answered. ‘She was going along really well, I was taking it carefully when suddenly the car started veering to the left and the back end slid. It caused me to spin and I ended up here. I don’t think I’m hurt.’
I listened to her explaining what had happened. She was shocked. She was talking fast, as if she was just trying to come to terms with it all herself. At the same time, I put my hand inside the car and switched off the ignition.
‘Okay, just stay still a minute. I’m gonna get you out, but I need to know you haven’t hurt yourself first. I want you to breathe in and out slowly and when you feel a bit calmer, I need you to concentrate on how your body feels.’ I took hold of one of her hands in mine as she steadied herself.
Shit! I was struggling hard not to keep imagining how her body felt.
I became a lost cause when the zing of electricity where we touched, zipped up my arm and quickly around the whole of my body. I’d been on stage in some of the biggest fucking venues in the world. I’d consumed, injected and snorted some of the most expensive drugs in existence. But, as I stood there holding her small hand in mine, I had never felt so fucking alive. My eyes searched for hers through my Aviators just to see if she felt it too. Sure enough, her head snapped fully around, her deep brown eyes were staring straight back at me and her mouth had fallen open.
‘I feel strange,’ she muttered, looking at where our hands were connected.
‘You do?’ I checked with her again, trying to concentrate on what I needed to do to help her.
I watched as she blinked several times over as if her eyes were dry, or she was trying to clear her vision. ‘No… No, sorry. It must be just the adrenalin leaving my system.’ She pulled her hand away from mine. ‘I’m fine, everything feels fine.’ Reluctantly I let her hand go and stood up.
‘That’s good.’ I cleared my throat. ‘Look we need to get you out of the car. When you’re ready, I want you to very slowly pull yourself up and out, using my hands to help you. If you feel pain anywhere, stop immediately.’
‘Okay.’
Her hands came out of the door to find both of mine. I ignored the reaction I felt as our skin came into contact again.
‘Okay, swing out your legs one at a time.’ Immediately she complied with my instructions. I watched as black heeled shoes came into view, followed by shapely calves where her coat parted. Her calves were covered in what I could only hope, in my fucking dreams, were fine stockings. Her black skirt had ridden up high revealing a perfect pair of thighs, and I should know as I was undeniably a fucking leg man.
Fuck. Concentrate asshole!
I willed my dick to stop twitching, just so I could concentrate on helping her and not nailing her.
She edged herself to the side of the seat and after taking a deep breath she stood up right in front of me. For a few seconds, we just stood and looked at each other, with our hands clasped tightly together in the tight space in between us.
I inhaled quickly, the smell of musk hit my needy nostrils. FUCK! Now I know how she smells too. Her subtle perfume was perfect for her, not floral or fruity. The musk accentuated her natural scent, it was heady. I fought off the urge to run my tongue up her neck or over her wrist just to taste it on her skin.
What the actual fuck?
‘Thank you so much for your help. I feel alright, a little shaken.’ I didn’t answer her, and again she pulled a hand away from mine as she turned to look at her car. ‘I don’t know what I’m going to tell my nan, this car is her pride and joy. Yet another thing she’s going to lose.’
I had no fucking idea what she was talking about, as I was still struggling to bring myself to heel, but I agreed wholeheartedly about the fucking death trap of a car. ‘Yeah, I think you’re right. It’ll probably have to be scrapped. We won’t know what going down into the ditch will have done to the sub-frame, at least not until it’s in a garage. But the car’s old, so I predict it’ll be bad.’ What I didn’t say was that I was gonna make sure the fucking thing was off the road for good, she deserved better, so much better.
‘Oh.’ She sighed with sad resignation and that small almost inaudible noise went straight to my cock.
I realised she was starting to shiver and for the first time I comprehended just how fucking freezing I was
, in only a T-shirt. ‘Come on, you could go into shock. We need to get you out of the cold. We’re going the same way, I’ll give you a lift.’ I led her by the one hand I still held, around to the other side of my Land Rover. I could feel her feet slipping on the icy patches, the soles of those cock-taunting heels she was wearing just weren’t coping. So, without even thinking I slipped my arm around her waist and pulled her closer to me. As her body relinquished its independence to mine, for a split second I froze. She felt good there, really fucking good. We felt in tune as we continued around the front of the car. I pulled open the door and took a deep calming breath. As I exhaled, I forced myself to behave like a fucking gentleman and not to let my basic instincts take over. Winning my internal battle, I released her and went to help her inside.
‘WAIT!’ she suddenly screamed. In response to her outburst, I opened her black coat to look up and down her body, just checking if she had been hurt in the accident and that I hadn’t missed anything. All I could see was a pretty, lacy white bra through an almost see through white shirt. ‘Thanks, but I can’t go with you. I know you’ve been kind and helpful, but I don’t know you from Adam… Look, I can ring a friend and they’ll come and pick me up.’
I dropped the edges of her coat and they fell together again, effectively covering up my view.
‘Seriously?’ I felt my eyes open wide at her. ‘You’d prefer to freeze than risk getting in the car with me?’
‘Well that and there’s the fish. I definitely can’t leave here without the fish.’
A strange thing happened there on that ice-covered lane. She smiled at me. Her smile was seriously the best thing I had seen in a very long time.
Fuck my life. The girl I want lands in my lap and brings fucking fish with her. But for that smile, I’d do anything.
Without even thinking, I opened the glove box and pushed the condom box I had stashed in there to the back and covered it up with the car manual. Then I grabbed my ridiculously expensive leather driving gloves. I closed the glove box and walked back to her car.
I heard her giggle as I made the first of four runs back and forth, between her car and mine.
If only my dad could see me now, I was ruining my new car smell with stinking fucking fish and all for a smile, he’d die in his grave laughing.
As the last of the apparently sealed, polystyrene boxes went into the back, I peeled off my now stinking leather gloves and flung them on top, slamming the door as quickly as I could. It wouldn’t help at all and I knew it, as a Defender didn’t have separate compartments like most cars. Sure, they were fucking beasts, with a safety record second to none, but everything was in the same section. The smell of fish would invade everywhere.
I placed her warning triangle down behind her car, and phoned the police alerting them to the accident.
‘Now will you get in?’ I questioned, leaning my head to one side.
She laughed nervously. ‘Ermmm.’ I could still hear the hesitation in her voice. ‘Yes. Thank you, the fish is really important. I need to get it to Falham Manor if that’s okay with you?’
I walked to the passenger side and helped her up into the vehicle, holding her elbow.
‘Yep,’ I laughed. ‘I know where that is… but you’re more important, you could do with getting home first.’ I moved quickly around to my side, jumped in and started the engine.
I pushed the gearstick into first and began to pull away. ‘So, where do I take you?’
‘Please, the fish first and then I can walk.’
‘Like hell you will… I’ll deliver the fish and then I’ll deliver you.’ My voice lowered to a growl and I glanced over to her quickly, wanting to get my point across. I removed my eyes much quicker than I wanted. In the weather conditions, I couldn’t afford to take my eyes off the road for too long.
‘I don’t normally get into cars with strangers, you know? But I feel as though I know you? Or maybe we’ve met before?’ Her face scrunched up as she thought and questioned me. I could see her out of the corner of my eye, still staring at the side of my face as we began to gain some speed up the narrow lane.
Here it comes! One by one my facial muscles began to tense up as she studied my profile, until I felt my tic spasm above my cheekbone.
3, 2, 1… and nothing.
She didn’t recognise me. I slowly relaxed with every small and slow breath out. The knowledge that I was a nobody to her, made me happy and warm inside. I didn’t think she’d recognised me yesterday either and it was fucking uplifting.
I. FUCKING. LOVED. IT.
Taking a huge risk, I lifted my Aviators away from my eyes and placed them in their holder above the mirror and turned towards her again.
‘OH! It’s you!’ she shrieked as our eyes came into contact for the first time today. For a split second, I thought my risk had backfired on me. I stiffened up waiting for the normal, exhausting fucking reaction.
‘It’s you from yesterday. I know you weren’t particularly taken with me when we met.’ She threw a look over her shoulder to the fish in the back. ‘Now I’ve ruined your plans for the day by crashing my antiquated car and spoilt the inside of yours. You must think I’m the most annoying person ever?’ I took in her worried expression and at the same time I exhaled completely in relief and shook my head.
I laughed out loud. ‘You couldn’t have got that more wrong. I think you’re the most refreshing person I’ve met in a long time.’ In my peripheral view, I could see her studying me closely, confused by my last statement.
I felt my stomach lurch as the heating I’d switched on for her recycled the fucking fish smell straight back under my nose.
‘Hold on,’ I muttered. I couldn’t fucking take anymore, I couldn’t take in another breath. I flicked the switch and made the window open. Any amount of fucking cold air was worth suffering, to take away the all-consuming smell of fucking fish. Even at the risk of freezing my ass off. As the cool wind entered my side of the vehicle, I inhaled deeply trying to rid my nostrils of the foul stench.
Then I remembered something and leaning down I reached to the side of me, searching around with my fingers. Finally, I found what I was looking for. I pulled them out and put them on over the rings on my fingers, feeling the wool of the blue, knitted gloves snag on the metal.
I heard her giggle again as she took in the sight of me wearing them.
‘Did you have no idea?’ A quick look at her showed her gently shaking her head. ‘I came into your nan’s shop twice yesterday, just to see you. These… are definitely not my choice.’
I picked up speed as the road ahead widened and I pulled back the gearstick into fourth, loving the feeling of power I felt as we pulled ahead. Then I looked over at her again. Her eyes were still focussed on me in what looked like disbelief. Her cheeks had a flush of colour in them, making her look even more beautiful.
‘You did?’ she questioned.
‘Uh, huh.’
‘But I gave you an in, and you certainly didn’t show any interest in buying me drink.’
I looked at her again and gave her a reassuring smile. Her cheeks gained a little bit more colour. ‘I can think of much more effective ways of getting to know you, other than consuming alcohol.’ I let those words just resonate for a few seconds.
‘Oh yes, and what would that be?’ I saw her fidget in her seat and then I saw the start of a frown on her forehead.
‘Don’t worry, little girl… I’m not the big bad wolf.’ I smiled over at her. ‘Well not right at this minute, anyway.’
I looked over at her again, waggled my eyebrows and laughed.
‘I believe you.’ She smiled.
‘Well, now we’ve established that I’m not really a stranger, although I can’t swear to not being just a bit strange.’ I squinted and took one blue, fingerless-gloved hand off the steering wheel. Holding my index finger and thumb about an inch away from each other, I smiled at her.
‘Wearing those... you’d have to be,’ she replied, glancing at my h
ands again.
‘Hmmm… Anyway, I hear there’s a tearoom near The Manor, you gonna let me treat ya to a late lunch, we could get to know each other better there?’ I gave her a quick wink as I let my eyes once again find hers.
She nodded back her answer. ‘Yes, okay. I think that could be arranged.’
Her laughter filled the inside of the vehicle and it was worth every single fucking cent I was going to have to pay to get the fucking smell of fish out.
I watched from the comfort of the oxblood coloured, leather interior of his car. I was under instruction to stay where I was to keep warm. I wasn’t used to doing as I was told, nor was I used to being looked after. It was an unfamiliar feeling and one I realised quite quickly that I liked, unfortunately. I watched as he unloaded the fish and carried them into the back kitchen at The Manor.
My body had stopped shaking. I wasn’t sure if the shakes had been from the accident, the cold, or the breathtaking man who had rescued me. I warmed my hands on the car heater as I watched him, in a loose white T-shirt, black slim-fitting jeans and heavy looking black boots, carry the boxes in.
I knew when we had met yesterday that he was going to be stunning, from the small glimpse I had seen, but now I was having trouble averting my eyes. The beautiful eyes that had captured me yesterday were still the icing on the cake. Now, I also knew that they were framed by thick dark eyebrows, which made them stand out even more. Today had revealed a square jaw, a couple of days’ worth of stubble, dark brown, nearly black hair that was just long enough to curl slightly over his ears and at the nape of his neck. The list of his attributes, in my eyes, was seemingly endless. Those same eyes were now caught between his bare tattooed arms, as they flexed under the weight of the fish, and the severe expression he had on his face as he willed himself not to breathe in. I was drooling at the sight of him, but also wanted to laugh out loud at the expression on his face.
Brody (Default Distraction Book 1) Page 5
