“Why do you have to be right all the time?” Gina gave an exasperated sigh, but he saw the humor in her eyes. He loved the teasing, sarcastic side of her. “I suppose if you could bare your soul about Kelly, then I can share with you my significantly less painful story.”
“Hey,” he held his hands up, “we all have pain. Who’s to say yours is less significant than mine?”
“Okay. Well, you know about the stuff with my mom. You know about what happened when I was thirteen.” She shuddered and drew her arms around herself. Jaydon led her to the couch and tucked her in closely to his side. He wished he could have protected her younger self.
“When I was fifteen, I was pretty sure my mom’s boyfriend at the time was getting ideas of a similar nature. Ever since puberty, I kind of hid behind oversized, loose clothes. I developed early and it made me really self-conscious. I chose every article of clothing intentionally to keep my body from unwanted attention. This guy made an off-hand remark about baggy clothes leaving more to the imagination. It creeped me out.”
She shivered and Jaydon’s jaw tightened. Just thinking about some grown man who should know better attempting to prey on a young girl, his girl, set his teeth on edge. His tension wouldn’t help the situation, though. He had to make himself relax so Gina felt comfortable finishing.
“Go on,” he coaxed, pressing a kiss to her hair.
“Not only did I hide my body with clothes, but I would literally hide in my mom’s closet when this guy would ‘drop by’ after I’d get home from school. I was terrified, all the time. My anxiety attacks were still winning back then, and one day I’d just had enough.
“After finding myself in the closet yet again one afternoon, I decided no more. I was done hiding. If guys were going to look anyway, it might as well be something I could control. I took some money I found in a hidden stash and went shopping for a whole new stylish wardrobe.
“When I went back to school, everyone was shocked at first that I was the same girl. I went from quiet, unknown Reggie to ‘that hot girl Gina with the big rack’ almost overnight.”
He chuckled. Typical teenage guy thing to say.
“I’m serious!” She gave him a hard, playful punch in the arm as she turned to settle in against him. “Suddenly, I was cool. To go with my new look, I sported a whole, new, snarky attitude. The guys took notice—even the popular jocks—and the ‘it girls’ were either instantly my friend or hated me with catty determination. Or both.
“Overnight I was propelled into popularity, all because I dressed well and didn’t take crap from anybody. The parties were fun, the attention was addicting, and I quickly became someone who was very different from who I’d been, but still not anyone I wanted to be.
“I met this girl the summer between my junior and senior year—about a year and a half after my transformation—and we became fast friends. We met at the library, of all places. I knew right away there was something different about her. She was really sweet and innocent—in fact, Brynn reminded me a lot of her when we first met—and she invited me to church with her. I had nothing better to do, since Tonya was working all the time and had just moved out and my mom was always off doing her own thing.
“It was like entering a whole different world. My grandparents took us to mass every Sunday when we were kids, but it was in Spanish and aside from the rituals and knowing when to stand or kneel, I never really understood much of what was happening. Abuelita did her best to teach us about Christ, but I was still a kid when they died and mom certainly never exposed us to that.
“Anyway, Aly, that was my friend, opened the door for me to finally learn about Jesus and what he had done for me. I gave my life to Him that summer, and immediately immersed myself. If the doors were open, I was there. Youth nights, regular services, helping with the little Sunday school kids, you name it. Bible studies, prayer nights, youth outreaches, all of it.”
“What changed?” Jaydon asked gently. He twisted and stretched his legs up on the couch and pulled her to sit between them, her back against his chest. She leaned into his snug embrace and Jaydon felt more at home than he could ever recall feeling.
“Well, school started back again in August. My old ‘friends’ expected that I would continue life as usual. The parties, the boyfriends, the make-out sessions and getting wasted. I had done all of that. And then some.”
He heard the shame in her voice. He laced her fingers in his and crossed their arms around her drawn up knees. “You’ve been forgiven, sweetheart. We all have a past. You’ve been made white as snow in Him.”
She closed her eyes with a nod and he pressed another kiss to her head.
“I know,” she sighed. “Anyway, after coming to Christ, I didn’t want to live like that anymore. But this is where it gets complicated. A few of the girls in my youth group went to my school. I hadn’t noticed them before, but they knew me. I learned some things about them and realized they were only using me to further their own social status.
“It really hurt, learning that I was being used like that by people who were supposed to be my new friends. I slowly separated myself from the party scene, but I wasn’t completely shunned. I still hung out with the popular kids and went to the occasional party. I no longer drank or used my body to get attention, but I was on the fringe enough to still be considered one of them.
“During my senior year, I started dating one of the boys in my youth group. I knew, based on what I’d been learning, that things should be different for believers. Still, though, I’d been around the block a few times, if you know what I mean, and I was still a hormonal teen. Things got fairly serious with this guy, or so I thought, and he kept hinting at taking our relationship further.
“I’d been sweet-talked enough before and given in, telling myself it was my choice and I was in control. Most of the time I regretted it afterward. I expected a Christian boy to be different. When he tried to go beyond my comfort zone, I flipped out. Shocked by his actions, I broke things off. He got mad and started spreading rumors in the youth group that I was a slut trying to tempt him to have sex outside of marriage.”
Jaydon’s muscles tensed and he said through clenched teeth, “I hope you set everyone straight.”
“I tried. But apparently, the rumors were enough to make the catty girls who went to school with me tell all about the parties I still went to, and how I must not be truly serious about my faith. They confronted me after youth group one night, like some horrible teenage intervention, saying how I couldn’t live with one foot in the church and one foot in the world. I’d already been realizing this on my own and was attempting to separate myself from all of that at school. I felt so ashamed, because I knew they were partly right.”
“Yeah, but they could have handled it a lot better than that. Not exactly a good display of solidarity or grace, calling you out like that in a group, throwing stones.”
“For sure. But that wasn’t the final blow.” Jaydon felt warm droplets run down his skin. He reached for the nearby tissue box, pressing one into her palm. Dabbing her tears, she went on.
“The kicker was when Aly, my supposed one, true friend, the girl who’d brought me to Christ, who should have been able to see my complete heart transformation, ended up being the most judgmental of all. I later learned it was because she’d had a crush on my boyfriend and had been so jealous that he’d wanted to be with me she couldn’t see him for who he really was. She believed his lies and accused me of being a temptress. The confrontation with her shredded me to pieces, because I thought if anyone would have known the real me, it would have been her.”
“You felt betrayed.”
“I don’t think my heart could have bled more if she’d actually stabbed it.”
He passed her a fresh tissue and held her close as she wiped under her eyes and blew her nose. A loud honk made them both laugh.
“So, you never went to church after that?”
“Well, at the time, I was only planning to take a break and then fi
nd a new church after I’d had time to heal. But then, it didn’t seem to matter which church I tried, I ended up freaking out. In the parking lot, in my car on the way there, in my driveway before I could even leave…. I decided it wasn’t worth it. Once I had my own place with internet, I streamed services online. In between, I still read my Bible. I also had a woman I’d met who discipled me those early years. She was my lifeline. Honestly, I don’t know where I’d be today if I hadn’t met Judith.”
“What happened to her?”
“She moved away when her husband got a job transfer out of state.”
“Do you still keep in touch?”
“By phone and email. She’s like a second mom. Brynn’s mom, Marla, is a close third. I love her.”
“That reminds me. How did you and Brynn meet? She’s a few years younger than you, right?”
“Yeah. I actually met Marla first. She’s a part time counselor and I went to see her for help with my anxiety attacks.”
“How did I not know that?”
She grinned up at him, her eyes still shimmering from their recent crying jag. Even red rimmed and splotchy, she was beautiful to him.
“Marla practically adopted me after just a few sessions. I met Brynn when she came to meet Marla for lunch after one of my sessions. We hit it off instantly, and I think I’ve been part of the family ever since. Marla knows most of my past, but I’ve never been able to completely share all of this with Brynn. She’s so…good, you know? So untouched by the ugliness in the world. I just can’t imagine tarnishing that.”
“Thank you for sharing it with me.”
“I think you’re the only person in the whole world who knows everything about me now.”
Jaydon used his body for leverage to twist her around and drag her onto his lap. Sliding his big hands to cup her face, he placed a series of soft kisses to her lips.
“It’s not something I take lightly, either. I know we haven’t been together all that long, Gina, but I already know one thing. I adore you.”
“I know it’s fast, but I feel the same way.” She looked into his eyes and he was lost. No. He was found.
After all the garbage he’d endured with Kelly, all of the regret and pain he’d felt for so many years, Gina was a treasure—God’s personal reminder that He was always giving Jaydon His best. Even with a tarnished, painful past of her own, she was a balm to his heart.
He prayed that he could be the same for her.
Chapter 23
Gina
Focus, girl. Stay present. You can do this.
Lord, I can’t do this.
Yes, you can.
She prayed herself from one stoplight to the next the whole drive to Well of Hope. One of her coping techniques was to stay focused on the present. Another was distraction. So, of course, between prayers she thought about Jaydon.
That man. Seriously. In the past month, she’d gotten to know her sexy-sweet mountain man better than any other soul on the planet. And now, he was written on her heart as much as any Bible verse she’d ever learned. Only God could do that with someone.
She already knew she loved him. So much. That incredible, once broken but now healing man. She knew he was feeling it right there with her, too. The confidence that knowledge gave her was exactly what she needed this morning.
Why, oh why didn’t I take Jaydon up on his offer to pick me up?
Sweet man had kissed her practically senseless on his way out the door last night, then knowing just how difficult it would be, offered to come get her this morning on his way. Gina knew she needed to do this on her own, but the security she found in his care? It reminded her of the love of the One who could truly help her get through the stress without letting it control her.
She wasn’t doing this for Jaydon, though. Stay present. Remember why you’re doing this. With every squeeze in her chest threatening to steal her breath and send her home, she conjured the image of Hailee and Javi in her mind. By the sheer grace of God and every ounce of willpower she possessed, she made it to the parking lot.
She stared at the front doors and watched the trickle of churchgoers disappear inside.
Father, I seriously need your help here.
She felt the whisper in reply. Come to me, my child. Come inside, welcome home.
She could so do this. It was just like any other building, no? Besides, she was Gina Hernandez, a strong, mature, mostly confident, twenty-eight-year-old woman. She was no longer a hyperemotional, angsty, conflicted teenager.
And let’s face it, that building is most certainly filled with people just as wounded as me.
God was in the habit of saving people from all walks of life, no? There would be new converts and people who had found him at various points in their lives. People who knew the Bible, and people who were just learning the lingo. Probably several who had known the Lord all their lives, like Brynn. But Brynn was compassionate, wonderful, and loving. Surely some of these people would be like her, right?
At the heart of it, every believer in there was ultimately searching for Jesus. Everyone needs Jesus to meet them right where they are, to heal and rescue and save them; to take their broken messes and make something new.
With all of that in perspective, Gina managed to open the creaking car door. She really needed to start looking at a replacement for the ratty old beater. Poor girl had seen her through so much, though. It was hard to think about letting her go, even if she needed something more dependable.
One foot in front of the other. And another.
Before she realized it, she’d made it past the doors, across the foyer, and into the sanctuary.
She’d done it. Part of her wanted to break into a happy dance, bouncing and squealing like a tween spotting their celeb crush in the mall. She’d have to call Judith later and share the news.
Gina looked left and right, trying to spot Hailee or Jaydon. So far, neither were within her line of sight. A few people strode past, barely sparing her a glance, when she heard a jovial, booming voice over her shoulder.
She whirled around to see a tall man in a dark gray suit with a round belly and thick, graying hair. A jovial grin spread wide across his face. His depths-of-the-sea blue eyes shone brightly and reminded her instantly of the matching set she’d been staring into the night before.
“You must be Pastor Bennett.”
“Indeed, I am, young lady. And who might you be?” He held out a hand, which she accepted and returned with a firm shake. He followed with a gentle pat to her arm with his other hand.
“I’m Gina. I’m actually a friend of Jaydon’s.”
“Ah! You must be the reason for that loopy smile I’ve been seeing on his face.”
Gina couldn’t help but return his grin. So this was where Jaydon came by his gregarious charm. Just then, she felt the presence of said man behind her. He placed a hand to her lower back and she glanced up at him with a sweet smile.
“She most definitely is, dad,” Jaydon agreed. “Dad, Gina. Gina, my dad, Tim Bennett.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Gina said softly.
“The pleasure is mine, my dear. Welcome to Well of Hope. I’m glad to see you here this morning. Our Third Day service is my favorite of the whole year. Ah!” He glanced around her and smiled with a look of pure adoration. “Here comes my lovely bride and Jaydon’s mother. Dear, I’d like you to meet Jaydon’s friend, Gina.”
Jaydon’s mother was tall as well. Plump, but with a shapely figure in a well-fitting dress suit. She completely fit every picture of a late-middle-aged pastor’s wife that Gina could have ever imagined. A single strand of pearls graced her neck, and she wore pumps that precisely matched her suit. Her shoulder length hair barely grazed the low collar of her suit jacket. It was stylishly cut, and colored similarly to Jaydon’s natural red-brown, only Gina was certain hers was from a salon.
Gina felt warm acceptance from this flawlessly put together woman, which threw her for a bit of a loop. Judging from first appearance, sh
e’d expected a standard warm-but-reserved church lady. And this woman was anything but. Unlike her son and husband, she sported pale blue eyes that bordered on gray, with a darker gray-blue outlining the rim. In her gaze, Gina felt warm and genuinely welcome.
“I’m so happy to meet you, Gina! I’m Vivian, and honey, I’m a hugger.” She leaned in and wrapped her arms around Gina. Vivian exuded all the maternal warmth that Gina had been denied since Abuelita passed, and she found she didn’t want to let go. The woman had spunk, personality, and joy in abundance and she could not wait to get to know her better.
“Oh, Jaydon! She’s a doll. I hope you’re planning to bring her to lunch.”
“Let me get her a seat, first, Mom. I’ve barely had time to tell her hello myself.”
Gina might have thought Jaydon was annoyed with his mom, if not for the spark in his eyes and quirk of his lip. Clearly, they shared a mutual adoration.
“Okay, honey. I’m just making sure she knows that she’s invited. We’d better go make the rounds before service starts.”
“Thanks for changing out the batteries on my headset again, son. I’ll try not to send you on too many more gopher missions today if I can help it.”
Jaydon laughed. Gina’s belly flip flopped as her heart cried out for a family dynamic like this. The love they shared was palpable.
“Let’s get a seat before it gets too crowded in here this morning. It’s a toss-up whether Christmas or Easter is more packed. This year, I’m thinking it’s Easter.” His voice was low, and the warm breath grazing her ear sent a shiver down her spine.
Hand in hand, Jaydon led her to the right side of the sanctuary, where a number of teenagers were filling the seats. She looked around for Hailee and Javi and spotted them walking down the aisle toward her. Both were dressed in newer clothes, though a far cry from formal Easter dress. Another reason she was grateful for the standard, laid-back attitude toward fashion here in her hometown. And thankfully, Well of Hope didn’t seem to stand too much on tradition.
Whatever Comes Our Way (Everyday Love Book 2) Page 18
