Arms came from behind me, pulling me off my feet. “Noooo!” I bellowed. Dark, muscular arms constricted me so tightly I could barely breathe.
“I got her,” Liam said from behind me.
I snarled, thrashing against him.
“Stop fighting me, Zoey.” Liam’s arms compressed even more, crushing my lungs. My head dropped, and my teeth found the soft flesh of his hand.
“Ahhh!” He wrenched away, and I tore free. Deep down I knew there was no hope, but in my frantic mind I just needed to get out, and they were my obstacles. I made it another five feet before hands grabbed the back of my gown and yanked me backward.
The sound of my bare skin slapping the tile resonated down the long corridor before I felt the pain as my spine slammed onto the floor.
Bodies moved in my direction.
“Hold her!” Liam’s voice bounded over. He shook his hand as though it still hurt. I didn’t break the skin, but it would probably leave a bruise.
Peter jumped on me, his pale face flushed red. “Don’t move.” His fingers dug into my arms, pinning me to the floor. Fury lit Peter’s eyes. “Daniel would be disgusted with how you turned out.”
“How do you know what Daniel would feel? You know nothing. You are merely a follower. A minion to Rapava,” I growled.
“Daniel believed in this cause. Wanted to save human lives. And you go and fuck the enemy.”
Anger burst in my chest like lightning. How did he know what I did with Ryker? Shame and embarrassment of his awareness was overshadowed with vehemence. “Yes. I fucked him. Over and over. It was incredible.” I grinned.
“You are revolt—”
“Enough, Peter.” Rapava stepped through the other men, striding to us. “Zoey is going to be confused for a while.”
“What?” Peter tore his gaze from me to look at the doctor.
“I was afraid of this. She is experiencing Stockholm syndrome.”
“Stockholm syndrome?” Peter sneered. “You seriously believe in that crap?”
“It is not crap. It’s a serious condition. In order to survive, a captive builds a relationship with and even may believe they care deeply for their captor.” Rapava watched me the whole time with curiosity. “I have seen it happen several times.”
It wasn’t true, of course, but I kept my mouth shut.
Peter leaned back, glaring at me. “You think that’s why she is acting like this?”
Rapava stared at Peter with a gape-mouthed expression, as though he couldn’t believe anyone was questioning him. “Yes, I do.”
“You were testing me.” Realization hit me.
“Yes.” He nodded then turned his attention to Peter. “I wanted to see what you would do given the opportunity. I don’t blame you, Zoey. He brainwashed you. But I can’t allow you freedom here until you are healthy again. Back to yourself.”
“What does that mean?” Dread trickled down my throat, sending alarm spilling into my gut.
“I know you are strong. You will get through this.” Rapava ignored my question. His hazel eyes bored into mine, conveying there was more to say, but perhaps he didn’t want to say it in the presence of these men. “It won’t take you long before you are back to normal.”
Normal? I was the furthest thing from normal, and he knew it.
“Get her on her feet.” Rapava motioned for Peter to get up. “Take Zoey to the detaining room where she will be properly watched and maintained until she is in her right state of mind again.”
Peter grabbed my wrists and tugged me to my feet.
Maintained. I understood what that meant. Handcuffed and drugged.
Even when logic told me one thing, primal instinct to protect myself always won out. I slammed my head forward into Peter’s nose. He grunted as blood pooled from his nostrils. I ripped my wrist from his hold and darted to the side.
A hand reached out and clamped around my neck. Air evaporated from my throat as Hugo’s fingers compressed. I struggled to free myself as Liam and Peter came in, grabbing and pinning my arms.
“Hold her.” Rapava came beside me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a needle. A flash of pain stabbed my neck, followed immediately by heat. My mouth opened to speak, but nothing came out. The room seemed to tilt and sway like I was on a boat in high seas.
“This is for your own good.” Rapava’s faraway words emerged from his blurry and distorted face.
I stumbled but felt Liam grab and pick me up. His arms stiffened under my legs and back as he tried to hold me away from his chest. My head bobbed as he carried me down a hallway.
“Let’s take her to the other holding room. It’s more secure for her safety.” Liam followed the doctor’s orders and swung around the corner. The hallway rolled in my vision as though I was inside a kaleidoscope. This area was different. A lot of the rooms had viewing windows through which I could see the patient inside. Different faces and species of fae peered out of the rooms. Their faces warped and blended like a carnival mirror. Each merged with the last.
In the sea of faces, I saw a pair of almond-shaped black eyes. It was the only thing my gaze clasped onto, anchoring me. I smiled, feeling a strange comfort and peace. “It’s a pirate’s life for me,” I mumbled in song before my lids closed, the drug consuming me with one gulp.
CHAPTER TWO
My lashes parted and light pierced my eyes. I slammed them closed before I slowly pried one heavy lid open and then the other, adjusting my vision to the abundance of light. My throat constricted as I tried to lift my head. I shivered, huddling my body in a tight ball against the wall. The thin gown did little to protect me against the cold tile. My muscles were limp and unwilling to cooperate. Thick webs coated my head, making it hard to even form a full thought. Foggy memories tickled my brain—Rapava and other staff coming in, hands on me, needles in my neck and arms—before I slipped back into my unconscious world.
When I woke this time, I wasn’t chained to a hospital bed. Actually, there was no bed in this room at all and nothing to give me any comfort or that I might use against anyone.
Realization of my circumstances struck me, and I pulled at the restraints of a straightjacket, my arms folded around me in a taut hug. Anxiety spiked, pinching my lungs, and I gasped. My heartbeat thumped loudly in my head. Dark closet. Tied. Alone. Scared. Hungry. It was like a reflex. The nightmares from my past bucked at my phobia. Fear gripped at my heart and squeezed my soul.
Rapava had talked of how a captor beat and broke down a captive till they were nothing. They rebuilt you with their beliefs and opinions. This was exactly what he was doing to me. I couldn’t gauge if he really believed I was brainwashed by Ryker, or if he was trying for reverse psychology. Either way, everyone at DMG would agree breaking me down again was for the best.
Everyone except me.
I struggled against the rigid sleeves of the jacket, terror clawing my throat. Tears sprang under my lids as I thrashed against the unforgiving material. It was useless. I understood this, but anger and fear raged from deep in my soul.
“Calm down, Zoey,” a voice came from behind me. I jerked at Rapava’s voice. Straining my head to look over my shoulder, I saw the doctor at the door. Rage clogged my throat, and I turned back to the wall. Violence was always my first reaction, to strike out at what was hurting or threatening me. When I couldn’t fight back, I felt untethered and lost as if a part of me drifted off into space unable to make sense of things. Now terror set in, wrapping around my bones like wires.
The sound of Rapava’s steps on the tile gnawed against my eardrums. From the corner of my eye, I watched him move around behind me. “I’m sorry for what I had to do, but you will understand and thank me later…once your mind is cleared and you are back to being yourself.”
I snarled in revulsion.
“You don’t need to recognize now what I’m trying to do for you, Zoey. But everything I do is with you in mind. You are extremely important to me.”
“To your mission, you mean,” I spat.
>
He stood over me and glared down. “I won’t deny it. You are special. Your current genetic makeup, both fae and human, is extraordinary.”
“Fae. Exactly. Why do you think what I’m experiencing is merely some mindfuck? Peter is right; I’m one of them now and I will never help you.” The words frothed out of my mouth in a heated hiss.
“I designed you to think of faes as the natural enemy. Your coding is far too strong to override.” Rapava clasped his hands together. “Plus, you’ve seen too much. You know what the fae are capable of, and Daniel’s death will eat at you until you get revenge.”
“We both know how Daniel felt about you and this mission.”
“Daniel’s betrayal was unfortunate, but I finally have what he and his late father hid from me for so many years.”
A coil wrapped around my heart. “Late father?”
“Yes. Daniel Senior passed away recently.” Dr. Rapava watched me intently, like he was waiting for my reaction to this news. “Very suddenly.”
He knew I went to Dr. Holt at the clinic where they had put him. I got the information Rapava had been searching for. By giving it to me, Daniel Senior forfeited his life.
“You mean you killed him.” Anger and sadness pressed my shoulders firmer to the wall. I wanted to attack, for him to feel the pain I was suffering inside. “Just like you murdered Daniel’s brother and probably his mother, too.”
Rapava shifted his weight. “Remember what I told you, you have to lose a few to save many.”
My throat wouldn’t even let me respond. Dr. Holt died because he was no longer useful to Rapava. Rapava got what he wanted. Daniel’s whole family was lost because of me, what I was made of.
“Why did you need those papers so badly when you had me and Sera in your hands? You had the formula walking around in front of you.”
“I wish it had been that easy.” Rapava’s lips thinned in a tight smile. “Holt was a brilliant man. One of the best. He also knew how to disguise your coding. He told me he did this because if either of you were ever in the hospital or had testing done by civilian doctors, they would never be able to detect you were different. Now, I wonder if it was his true reason.”
“You have the information. What do you need to test on me? What are you planning?”
“You have opened my eyes to more. I thought earlier you were pregnant, but now I know you are much, much more.”
“You’re sick.”
He frowned, squatting next to me. “I’d be careful who you call that. Simply because you turned out not to be pregnant...” Abhorrence flashed across his face. “Your examinations still showed you were sexually active recently…and the sperm was not human.”
Horror ballooned in my chest. Violation, embarrassment, and fury stiffened my back. I hadn’t had time to think about the fact he kept me drugged for two weeks so he could poke and prod me. I had lain bare and vulnerable under his needles and examinations.
“But I know if you were in your right mind, it wouldn’t have happened. It is wrong, but it’s not your fault. He tricked you, took advantage.”
Once again I felt his words drench me like water, drowning my truth. I couldn’t tell if he believed what he was saying, but this was his own type of brainwashing. Sympathize and shame the victim, then cause them to feel it wasn’t their fault, but still something they should feel reprehensible about. Cause doubt.
Wrath pumped in my veins like blood. My body trembled with the loathing and rage I felt for the man in front of me. This information explained why Peter sounded so sure when he accused me of sleeping with Ryker. He was. They all knew. Maybe they had been in the room as Rapava examined me. Naked and exposed, inside and out.
“It was not the fae who took advantage.” I lifted my eyebrow. “You had no right to examine me like that.”
“I have every right, Zoey. I created you. I gave you life.”
“Dr. Holt gave me life.”
He bit down on his lip, his nose flaring. “He produced you in a dish, yes, came up with the formula, but it was my idea.”
I never realized how egotistical and needy for acknowledgment he was. Everything was because of him. None of us could survive if it weren’t for him.
“And thanks to Holt’s papers and you, I can begin again.”
“Begin again?” A rock thumped in my stomach.
“Yes. I needed Dr. Holt’s formula, the one he stole from here. But with you and your DNA, I have new data to work with. You are not fae, but now you are more than human. The new human hybrid. With you, I can create more and establish a whole new race of beings. This next group is going to be faultless. Don’t you want that for humanity, Zoey?”
Bile rushed up my throat and into my mouth, and I spit it in his face. He jerked back, shock widening his eyes. He took off his glasses, wiping them on his lab coat as he stood up.
“I see you are not ready.” Disappointment shook his head back and forth. “You need some more time here.”
“Fuck you!” I screeched. Sanity took a back seat as words propelled from my mouth. “You think fae are revolting and horrible? Look at yourself, Doctor. You have become the tyrannical leader your father wanted you to be. Sick and twisted. You dissect and torture animals and people for your own narcissistic ego. You create babies in labs, let them be beaten and raped, all in the name of science. Is that what you tell yourself so you can sleep at night?” I felt saliva drip down my chin, strands of my hair tumbled around my face. “You are the most vile and repulsive specimen in this building. I can’t wait till I get free, because I will feed you to the fae…in pieces.”
Silence took up where my words ended. No emotion resonated on his face as he stared at me. “We’ll see how you feel in a week.” He turned and moved to the door.
I stood, running after him, wanting my words to penetrate his soul. For him to recognize what he did. To feel pain.
The door slammed behind him, the lights in my room going off. Darkness shrouded me as I threw myself against the exit. Over and over I smashed against it. Physical pain helped take away the internal pain I felt. I wailed and banged till my body collapsed, rolling into a ball.
The only way I knew how to deal with my past horror was to let my mind go, let it wander to the far reaches where it couldn’t feel or experience pain. I wrapped up the bits of my soul I had left and carried them with me, leaving only the shell behind.
Fingers trailed down my spine, curving over my ass, stirring me awake. The masculine smell of woods and a storm over a field of vanilla clung to the T-shirt I was wearing. I burrowed into it and took in a deep, greedy breath, filling myself with him. I opened my eyes and turned my face to the man lying next to me. The white sheets wound softly around me. We were back in our room in Peru—the perfect bubble of happiness I had for a brief stretch of time.
“Thought it might wake you up.” A smile glinted in his white eyes.
“Ryker,” I whispered, emotion straining my vocal chords.
“Miss me?”
“Yes.”
“Wow. You said that without the least bit of sarcasm.”
Liquid surged under my lids.
“Hey.” His hand came to my face, cupping my cheek. “Are you all right?”
I nuzzled against his hand.
“Zoey, you’re freaking me out.”
“I know you aren’t real, but I need you. To get me through this.”
Ryker drew me to him, his lips brushing my forehead. “You are strong. You can get through this. You don’t need me, but I’ll be here whenever you want.”
“I wish you could tell me you are all right. That you got away from Vadik.”
He let his hand drop, leaning back to look in my eyes, his voice low and husky. “If I were free or capable, I would have already found you.”
Hell. Even in my imagination he could make me burn for him. I bit my bottom lip, drawing his gaze to my mouth. He grabbed my hips, pulling me forward till I straddled his lap. I inhaled sharply. The warmth of his solid bo
dy between my legs felt so real.
“Even without the oath, I would find you,” he growled, bringing me closer to him.
Right. The promise I made him swear when Vadik had us. When I thought I was dying. If Ryker wasn’t the one to kill me, his powers would be lost to him forever. I made him vow to be the one to kill me before I died from the weakness. Intuition had told me we were going to be separated. I hadn’t thought about the consequences or where I would end up; I simply acted in the moment. If he made the oath, we would be connected. It would lead him to me, wherever I was. Ryker even said this kind of vow was more powerful than being in debt with someone. Sprig always found me, and Croygen seemed to be able to locate Ryker when he needed. This meant Ryker wasn’t able to get to me.
“I wish the vow worked both ways. I want to be able to feel you and know you are still alive.”
One blond eyebrow arched on Ryker’s face. “You want to feel me, huh?” He surged up, flipping me. I fell back on the pillows. He crawled between my legs, and his eyes locked onto mine. He lifted my T-shirt up my body, his lips grazing my stomach, his stubble tickling as his mouth moved.
“Feel this?”
He tilted my hips up, my underwear slithered down my thighs, and his hands roamed freely over my exposed skin. I let a small groan escape. I wanted to reach out for him, to touch him, but my arms wouldn’t move. I struggled, feeling a slight pressure against them holding them down. Reality scratched at my brain, pulling me back toward reality.
“Stop. Stay with me.” Ryker clawed over me, placing his hands by my shoulders, his knees on either side of my hips. “Just a little longer.” He inclined, his lips finding mine.
It felt like home. Emotion surged through me, igniting my desire for him.
“I’ve done some interesting things, but this might be hitting a new level,” he mumbled against my mouth.
“Why? You’re not even real. This is all in my head.”
Ryker lifted his head, his intense gaze burning into me. “Zoey, I will make you another promise. I am going to bury myself into you so deeply and fiercely we are both going to feel it in reality.”
Across The Divide Page 2
