He gave Rebecca a mock-annoyed look, but it broke into a smile. She sat up.
“We wanted to go to the seaside. This is as close as it gets. Ice cream and margarita?”
“Sounds like heaven.”
“You can’t sit there in a suit Art. There are some clothes upstairs aren’t there?”
“God, they must be from ten years ago, I doubt they’ll fit me.” He patted his very firm looking stomach and Rebecca tried not to think what he looked like underneath his shirt.
She threw on her cover up, and dragged out another lounger when she recovered after he went back into the house.
“I’ll get it.” He looked so different. He wore a white t-shirt with a faded logo, and shorts. His feet were bare, her eyes caught his legs, the hair on them, their muscular shape.
“Thanks.” She scurried into the kitchen and brought out three ice creams and a fresh pitcher of drinks.
They all sat there, feet in the pool, sweltering, drinking, and eating.
Arthur sighed.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes mum, it’s been a stressful day.” He pinched his eyes. “This is lovely. Just what I needed.”
“You need to have some more fun. All you do is work.”
“You might be right.” He drained his glass. “Blimey, how much booze is in this?”
“Too much.” Rebecca grinned. It was nice to see her at ease, not hiding.
She had curled up on the lounger, looking sleepy. She was so beautiful. His eye caught her toes, wet from the pool they were painted bright red. His eye followed her legs all the way up, over the perfect curve of her hip, small waist, her breasts, pushed together from the costume, and finally to her face. She was bright red and looking right at him. She’d watched him look her over. For a few seconds their eyes met, and he felt it all at once, the reason he had been so upset over being gone, why he was so happy to have her back, wasn’t just for his mother, but for him. He wanted her. He blinked and looked away.
She looked at her watch and realising it was five, she stood up. “Well, I should get some dinner going. I’m famished.”
He frowned at the watch, trying to place it.
“Isn’t that your watch mum?”
“Oh, well…yes, but…” Alice had gone to sleep, her little snores were quiet under the radio, and Rebecca stuttered in her defence.
She blinked the tears away and took it off. “I didn’t steal it, I needed a watch and your mum…never mind.”
Rebecca slipped her wedges back on as she took off the watch and went inside. The kitchen was cool, and she felt sticky.
She pulled out the cold chicken and salad, and pulled three plates out.
“I didn’t mean to imply that you stole it.” Arthur stood by the door, looking too casual.
“It’s fine, I understand why you would think it.” He sighed and walked up to her.
“I don’t think it. Look at me.” He turned her to face him. “I just couldn’t place it. Really. She has a dozen or more of the things, I’m astonished it still keeps time.” He smiled, and took her hand, stilled it against him and put it back on. “There.”
She loved that watch. It was slightly domed and ringed in sliver, with a thick tan but narrow strap. She had only mentioned in passing that she was going to buy a watch, and she had insisted that she have it.
“It keeps perfect time.” She didn’t look up, but her hand was still against him.
“Rebecca.” He said it so quietly. He lifted her chin with his finger and made her look at him.
His eyes fell to her lips.
“Don’t.”
“Why?”
“I’m not…I don’t trust it when men want things for me.”
“I don’t want anything from you. I want to make you happy.”
She frowned. “Happy?”
He kissed her tenderly, barely touching her lips. “I meant what I said when I brought you back, and more. You are so lovely. I’ve wanted to hold you and kiss you…” He pressed his mouth to hers, but she pulled away.
“I can’t.”
“Say if you don’t want to kiss me, but I think you do.”
“All right, I do, but I can’t.”
“Why?”
She couldn’t explain it, she couldn’t tell him all the reasons it would be bad, but as she tasted her lips, all thought left her.
“I won’t hurt you, I swear it.” He kissed her again, her limited experience made her hesitant and afraid, but it felt so good. He held her a little more firmly, and she put her arms round him. The kiss intensified, and she moaned as his hands went to her back, and all over her.
They leant against the kitchen cupboard, his tongue reached deeper, and he held her closer. Her mind finally began to work, and she thought of Alice.
She pushed away from him, and he let her go instantly. She had expected to have to fight, but he only smiled as he stepped back.
“Your mother, I mean, this is wrong.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m your employee. You pay me a wage.”
“Mum would be happy.”
“I know, but I’d feel like a whore.” He sobered and stepped back.
“You would?”
“I’d feel like I was doing something wrong. Would you have an affair with someone in your office?”
“No.”
“Then how is this different? I signed a contract with you, to be your employee. You give me money to look after your mother.”
“Is that how you see what would be between us, an affair?”
“Isn’t that what it would be?”
“I care about you very much. I’ve tried not to, I know you’re not the kind of woman who plays the field, I know that bad things have happened to you. I don’t want to upset you, but you feel this, I know you do. There is something between us. Finding you, having you back has made me happy.”
“But it would be a bad idea, I would disappoint you, and get hurt. I’m not strong, I’m not confident. I’m afraid, and inept, and inexperienced. You deserve better.”
“No, I want you. Please.”
“I just can’t.”
He nodded and stepped away. She plated up while he brought his mother in. They were both quiet.
A week later, on Friday, she went back to film club. Anything to avoid Arthur.
It had rained for two days, and the air had that heavy earthy feeling to it. She hung back from the chatty group, all seemingly friendly as they discussed the film. She sipped her bottle of beer watching and listening in. She heard the discussion about next week, which was her birthday, but it was going to be no ordinary screening. It was a silent cinema evening with live band and talk. Only a few people from club were going, it was expensive.
The only seats available were a couch at the back, and she had to buy both seats. She bought them, treating herself. At least she could stretch out.
She’d mildly asked if anyone was going, and wanted to share her couch. There were no takers.
Arthur had known when her birthday was since she’d become an employee. He wondered what she would do for it or if she’d mention it at all.
He bought her earrings to match the necklace he’d bought. Alice insisted on buying her a new radio, as hers had taken a fall and the sound wasn’t right.
Rebecca was given no choice but to eat with Arthur and Alice on Tuesday.
“What are your plans for Friday?”
“Um, why?”
“Just wondering.”
“You know don’t you?” Alice smiled. “Fine. There’s a silent cinema night at film club. I had to buy a whole couch, I couldn’t find any takers to go with me.” Arthur perked up. He’d been pretty miserable ever since he’d kissed her.
“I thought you had friends there.”
“Well, I mean, people are nice, but I don’t really talk to anyone. They don’t notice me, even if I do try. They’re all friends and have their little groups. I'm not good at, you know, making friends.”
Rebecca’s fork hovered near her mouth. Arthur raised his brows at her in a suggestive manner.
“You don’t have to.”
“I want to.” He held her eye and Alice glanced between them. Something was going on, she kept her glee to herself.
“That sounds lovely, but you’ll be on your own Alice.”
“Well you can tell me all about it. It’ll be so nice for you two, and Arthur needs to have more of a social life.”
“All right then.” Arthur knew she didn’t want to, he needed time to win her over, to see that he wouldn’t hurt her, and he could make her happy. But he would bloody well try.
Six. Least resistance
Rebecca fussed and fretted all week. It was a date. His eyebrow wiggle over dinner told her that. It wasn’t hot, but sticky. She fussed over what to wear. Torn between trying to put him off and impress him. She was going to get hurt, and the anxiety was getting the better of her.
She settled on a pair of cigarillo trousers that she used to wear for work, and a coral floaty top.
Arthur’s eyes crinkled in warmth when he saw her. She opened her presents, and cooed over the radio to replace hers as it had broken, and was quiet over the earrings from Arthur, which matched her pendant. She swapped them in, and straightened the pendant.
“They look lovely dear.”
“Thank you.” She turned to Arthur. “I love them.”
“Good. Shall we?”
It was nice going out with him. She could imagine how it could be between them, it wasn’t real life though, she had to remember that.
The cinema was abuzz over the event. The speaker was from the telly, and Rebecca liked him. A few looks were sent their way as they milled about. She sipped her coffee as they stood in the crowd, and a man approached.
He greeted Arthur like an old friend. He was at the film club every week.
Joe, with his brown wavy hair was sort of attractive, but in an overly slick way. He looked Rebecca over.
“You come to film club right?”
“Sometimes.”
“Have you two known each other long?”
Arthur answered, his ease with people was enviable. “Oh, nearly a year, but this is our first date.” Her heart dipped at the word.
“Ah.” They chatted about mutual acquaintances for a while, until he was called away.
“You know him well?”
“This is his cinema, we meet now and again at functions, but we’ve known each other since school, we were in different years though.” She nodded, entirely out of her depth.
They sat at the back once they settled in their couch, it was deep and comfortable, listening to the talk, but she had half her mind on Arthur being sat next to her. His hand was right by hers, and he finally took it in his. She closed her eyes, and glanced at him, he was watching her. She squeezed his hand.
He kept looking at her, she was rapt to the screen and the band that played to the films, the light flickered over her open face.
They went for a drink afterwards and she held onto his arm as they walked and chatted about the films and the speaker.
The pub they went into was one she hadn’t been to before. It was a trendy place where everyone was cool, there was a DJ and a little dance floor. The place was getting going and she sat awkwardly poking the ice of her drink with the straw.
They watched the crowd in silence.
He had to lean in close for her to hear. “Do you want to dance?”
“Do you?”
“It’s why I asked.”
“Okay.” She could not have felt more awkward.
“I thought you liked to dance.”
She blushed. “Maybe.”
“Then show me what you got.”
She finished her drink, needing the courage.
He held her hand and led her through the crowd, she hesitated for a second before she fell into the beat, Arthur held onto her waist. She was surprised. He wasn’t old, only a few years older than she was really, but he seemed impossibly mature and buttoned down.
There was so much she didn’t know about him. She swallowed her fear of that notion, and tried to enjoy herself, which she did. She had never danced anywhere but in the kitchen or bedroom, it was nice to dance with other people, more specifically, him.
It was great dancing with her, good to see her let go a little. She had smiled with her whole face as they moved together. He saw the innate but unknowing sexiness she had. She really had no idea how hot she was. He didn’t want to leave, he could have stayed out all night with her. But she insisted, knowing Alice would wait up for her.
He pulled up, the living room light was still on.
“See, waiting up for us. You coming in?”
His hands slid down the steering wheel and closed his eyes. She took his silence as a no.
“Okay. Well, night, and thanks.”
He turned his head and looked at her. “Don’t go. I’ve had a nice night.”
“Me too. It was good.”
“I really enjoy your company.”
“Um. Thanks.” He couldn’t look away and she knew what he wanted. She wanted it to. He moved over slowly, the leather creaking, and kissed her.
The passion from before was there, even more so, he wasn’t as cautious and she wasn’t as nervous. Her hands ran through his hair, his moved all over her. She scrambled over his lap, he lifted her as she did. He paused for a moment, and hummed when she was against him, they kissed for what felt like hours, settling into an easy rhythm.
She wanted him, she could honestly say that had never happened, but she wanted him. She imagined herself with him, and she knew he’d be a good lover. She wouldn’t. She’d be awkward and ignorant, and that was if she could even manage to not freak out and freeze up. She had no idea what she was doing. Except for the kissing part. She could do that.
Eventually he set her back, his eyes were dark, breathing fast.
“You could come to mine, stay with me.”
She blinked out of the hazy lust. “I can’t. I have to help your mum, if I’m not home, she’ll worry.”
He leant back and pulled his lips through his teeth. He kissed her neck and down her chest into the vee of her blouse. This was uncharted territory. She pulled back.
“This is a mistake.”
“It’s not. Don’t pretend that you don’t want this because you’re afraid. I’ll take care with you, I will. I swear, I’ll give you only pleasure.” He sat forward so that he could show her, his lips were gentle and he moved slowly, but she shook out of it.
“No, we talked about this, it’s not right. I won’t do this, it can’t happen again. Please.” She was beginning to panic.
“Okay, it’s okay, I won’t push. I’m sorry. You better go in.”
He closed his eyes and she scrambled back off him. She paused, and looked up at him. She wasn’t sure if he was in pain or angry. Disappointed in her probably.
“I’m sorry.” She was gone before he’d pulled himself together. He wanted her, but it was more than that, she needed love, she was desperate for it, and afraid of it. He wanted to give that to her. There were a lot of secrets about her past, and he knew they were bad, things his mother hinted at, but wouldn’t broach. He wanted to take away that pain.
His house was cold when he got home, he missed the comfortable occupancy of his mum’s, and much of that was to do with Rebecca.
Alice tried to look casual when Rebecca opened the door. “Have a nice night dear?”
“Yes it was really nice. We went for a drink afterwards and we danced.”
“Do you like him?”
“Yes. But Alice, I can’t. I mean, well I just can’t.”
“I know that he can be a bit, well you know, serious, but he would be good to you.”
“I know, but it’s not very fair to him though is it, what with my past, and the way I am. He deserves better than that.” Rebecca helped Alice upstairs, her head
buzzing from a few drinks and dancing, but most of all, Arthur.
Arthur arrived as normal Tuesday.
Rebecca couldn’t look at him she felt so foolish and mean. The precious moments they had shared were just that, but she wondered if he thought she had led him on. As she cooked, she fretted.
She knew he was standing behind her before he spoke.
“Rebecca. Can we talk?”
She nodded and turned around, she chewed her lips and folded her arms. She looked terrified. He stood next to her and began tidying up.
“Are you afraid of me?”
“No. I’m ashamed of myself.”
“What for? You’ve done nothing wrong.”
She swallowed and took a deep breath. “I’m not good at this stuff, I’ve never had anyone interested in me because they like me. I like you, I really do, but the things in my past make me think a certain way. You are my boss. You give me money in exchange for a service.
“It’s more than that though, it’s me. You are too good for me, I’m not the girl for a man like you.” She was trying not to cry.
“Why wouldn’t you be the woman for me?”
“Who I am, where I come from. My family. I’m weak and pathetic. I’ve never had a relationship, I’m nothing.”
He turned to her and held her arms. “You are not nothing. You’re sweet and good, moral, kind, beautiful, determined, and you are strong. I’m guessing you left a hard past, made hard choices, you want a better life, how can I not want that. I care about you, I want to see what this could be.”
“So do I, but I can’t.”
“Won’t, not can’t.”
“It’s the same thing for me.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Part of me doesn’t want you to know, because your opinion of me will change. I want you to think well of me. But now you must think I’m a bitch.”
“No, not that. Afraid maybe, I think you’re terrified.”
“I am. Please try and trust me when I say, I’ll disappoint you.”
“If you don’t work for me, would you reconsider?”
“Are you going to sack me?”
“No, no, that’s not what I mean…God, you take everything the wrong way. I meant, you could work for mum, she would pay you.”
Getting a Life (New City Series Book 1) Page 7
