by Alice White
But maybe this one would have softer chains.
Chapter Four
As soon as she passed the rickety fence, the sounds of wagon wheels and catcalls far off in the distance, Angelica entered the three storied house and saw plush furnishings covered in dust. Maybe Miss Parsons was an amazing nurse and a crackerjack with a rifle. But the housekeeping left something to be desired. In another life she would have worked to clear the mess and hope for a smile and a pat of her head. But now she was too tired to even think of picking up a rag, and even another set of stairs seemed so much to bear.
“Maybe in here, Miss Angel.” Miller opened the first available door, and she couldn’t help but smile at the sight of a bed.
“I’ll take it,” she said. “Not like I have a choice in the matter.” Kicking off her boots and tossing off her shawl, Angelica flopped to the bed and crawled under the blankets.
“Should I thank you for this, Miller?” she asked.
“I hope so,” he said as he stroked her hair and patted her shoulder. “You’ve been on your feet for far too long. Now you should rest.”
Her eyes grew heavy and sleep consumed her as she drifted into a dream of another fence. This one lined the house where she played in bare feet with scabby knees. In those days her skirts barely reached her ankles, and she chased after the breeze until it was time to head back inside for warm chicken and carrots bathed in gravy. Why had she not seen it? Her mother’s hands trembled around the plates as the puffs from her father’s pipe filled the air with a pungent aroma in which she longed to lose herself. And his knee was always inviting as he bounced her so close to the ceiling until she felt sure that she would shatter the roof and find the clouds. But the only sound was that of her mother falling to the floor, and she followed the first man she loved into the kitchen to see her mother’s body pale and unmoving. He jostled her shoulders and wept when she would not wake. That was the second sign. He would never be the same. And Angelica would have to change in unspeakable ways if she had any hope of survival.
Little did she know the true price of the word.
“Papa, no!”
Starting up in a sweat as she clutched the bed sheets and looked around the room, Angelica struggled to catch her breath and ran her hand over her brow when she heard the clink of cutlery and buttoned up her boots. Tearing the top blanket way from the bed as she walked, she saw the doctor stirring soup in a pot. And felt even warmer when he looked at her without his spectacles.
“You’re up, Angel,” he said. “Did you have a good rest?”
“I slept,” she said in a flat voice. “When did you come here?”
“Right around the time your friend was ready to set sail,” he said. “Miss Parsons will take her to the mission. You don’t have to worry about it.”
“Good,” she said. “I suppose I should thank you, Doctor.”
“You could start by calling me William,” he said. “That’s who I am to my friends.”
“So we’re friends?” she asked. He stayed silent as he dished out the soup and presented a loaf of bread. Without a singled traced of mold.
“I hope that this is alright,” he said. “I don’t usually get the chance to entertain.”
“It’s fine, William,” Angelica said as she fell to the chair and stated to bite into the bread. Her teeth tore at the crust, and she swallowed one bite without chewing as she slurped up the soup with other half. The taste of onions grazed her tongue, and she let the bread fall to the table as she lifted the bowl and drank the rest of the soup down. Feeling as if she could fall asleep again as the warmth lined her stomach, she looked up to see the doctor smiling as he held his spoon like a gentleman.
“I take it you like my cooking,” he said with a smile.
“It’s fine,” Angelica said as she pushed the bowl away and searched for her napkin. Failing to find it, she thought of using her sleeve when William pulled a piece of checkered fabric from the drawer just behind his back.
“Try this,” he said. She cleaned up and tried to make like a lady with what was left of her meal as he finished and pressed his palms to the table.
“I take it you ladies don’t eat well,” he said.
“Not like this,” she said. “If the doctor thing doesn’t pan out then you should try your hand as a cook.” William looked bemused as he reached across the table to wipe a stray stream of soup from her lips. His touch was kind, and he took it back almost as soon as it made contact and gave her another smile.
“I’ll consider that,” he said. “Would you like some coffee? I think that Miss Parsons baked a cake. Unless of course you’re full.”
“Not a chance!” she said. “This is so nice.”
“Glad to hear it.” He cleared the table and set the kettle on the range as he sliced into a chocolate cake coated in white frosting. Ready to dig in with her hands, Angelica held back and speared the moist bits with her fork and let the sugar dance across her tongue. Once she was done, she let the silverware fall to the plate and finally ran her fingers through her hair.
“Why am I here?” she asked. “I mean how am I really supposed to pay you back?”
“Who said that you had to?” They sat in silence, and Angelica waited for the other shoe to drop when he shifted his chair closer to her side and gingerly took her hand.
“I might be new around here,” he started. “But I know what some women out here have to put up with it.”
“Talking from experience,” she sneered.
“Not at all,” he said. “A woman’s body is meant to stay sacred until her wedding night. At least that’s what I believe.”
Angelica blinked fast and tried to take in the meaning of his words. Was he serious? Men in gold country did not talk this way, and she felt sure that he had to be playing with her when looked to the table and released a heavy sigh.
“You must think that I sound foolish,” he said. “But it’s what I believe. And I would have sent you to the mission if I thought it was a way to save you.” Angelica blinked and wanted to smile when she held back and tapped her toes to the floor.
“So you could be rid of me,” she said. “Is that what you mean?”
“No,” he said. “So you get out from under all of it. Can I ask you a question, Angel?”
“Please don’t call me that,” she begged as she turned away but still felt his hand on her arm.
“Isn’t that you’re name?” he asked.
“It became my name,” she admitted. “When it was easier to say. But I used to be Angelica. That’s the name I was born with.” And if had been years since she had spoken it out loud. The sound felt strange as soon as it hit the air, and she wanted to swallow it back when William tapped one finger to her chin.
“Then it’s what I will call you,” he said. “Angelica sounds right and so lovely on you.”
Was she blushing? She could feel the pink starting to rise around her cheeks, and she tried to look away when he kept her eyes in the path of his gaze.
“I can clean,” she said. “You have the cooking well in hand.”
“Thank you for that,” he said. “And this is a safe place, Angelica. Will you trust me when I say that?” He cut off her answer as he lifted her fingers to her lips and placed a reverent kiss on the back of her hand. She wanted to sink deeper into his lips when he drew his hand away and cleared the table for good and all. This man was a mystery, kind and true to his word when he tossed her a rag.
“I’ll wash and you’ll dry?” he asked. “Clean if that makes you happy. But I want to help.” Angelica felt as if she floated to his side and they stood together until every dish was washed, dried and placed back in the cabinet overhead. When the job was done, he tentatively offered his arm, and Angelica accepted it with a nervous smile.
“At the end of the day, this is what I like most.”
It was the cleanest room in the house, and William offered her one end of the couch as he built a fire. The flames flickered around the room, and he sat on
the other end of as he picked up a book from the end table and crossed one leg over the other. His spectacles were back as he ready silently, and she curved closer to him as she peered over the page.
“Tell me what it’s about?” she asked. He looked up and beckoned her to come closer.
“It’s just some psalms,” he said. “You must think me terribly dull.”
“I didn’t say that,” she said. “Read to me.” Angelica felt her body falling into his shoulder and she heard him clear his throat.
“Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
I cling to you; your right hand upholds me.
Those who want to kill me will be destroyed; they will go down to the depths of the earth.
They will be given over to the sword and become food for jackals.
But the king will rejoice in God; all who swear by God will glory in him, while the mouths of liars will be silenced.”
It was maybe the noblest thing that she had ever heard. Feeling unworthy of the words, Angelica gave his palm a fleeting squeeze, and she saw him turn the pages out of the corner of her eyes. Every word leaving his lips seemed sweeter than the last, and when the fire finally started to die out, William let the book fall and helped her to her feet.
“Angelica?”
She was weary but still looked at him. The doctor kissed the top of her head before pressing his firm hands to her shoulders.
“You can lay your head down here,” he promised. “Nothing will hurt you.”
“You’ll forgive me if I’m still a little wary?” she asked.
“Nothing to forgive. Only please stay.” She could not think of going anywhere else, and he brought her back to the bed that she had so recently abandoned. William helped her boots off for a second time and caressed her ankles as he started to settle her into the sheets.
“And where will you sleep?” she asked. Now his blush rivalled hers, and she trailed her fingers against his lips when he started to pull away.
“I’ll just be down the hall,” he promised. “You can call if you need me.” She tried to keep his hand close when he started to slip into the shadows. Angelica wished that she had real wings to fold him close, but she still let him go and tried to find sleep as too many memories battled in her brain. All those men who had used her and left her on the brink of ruin. But here was someone who either didn’t see or didn’t care. Her heart kept growing lighter around the idea, and she was nearly lulled her into a dream where she was pure and worthy of his kiss. In her mind’s eye he started to claim her mouth when the kiss suddenly turned harsh. Angelica kicked and scratched in search of a breath of fresh air when the man in her mind became Sam. Became Warwick. All of the men that she only wanted to forget bore down on her, and she screamed for freedom when kinder hands held her sides, and a soft voice made its way into her ear.
“Be still, Angelica. No one is going to hurt you now.”
Chapter Five
William held her as she trembled and ran his fingers down her back. She kept trying to escape until he held her face and peered into her eyes.
“What was it about?” he asked. “Tell me.”
“Why do you want to know?” she demanded.
“Because there needs to be a way to make it stop,” he said. “If you’ll just talk to me.”
His eyes were in earnest, and Angelica fell back into his shoulder as she held his hand.
“Why?” It was the only word that she could manage, but she didn’t let him go as she tried to calm and collect her thoughts.
“Angelica?”
“How?” she said. “My father was supposed to look after me. I loved him so. I know he loved me. But everything changed.”
“A gold rush does that and more to good men,” he said.
“It doesn’t make it right!” she wailed. “My mother was gone and he just left me to the wolves. How could he do that?”
William had no answers, but he kept her in his arms and smoothed the tangles from her hair until her tears were spent and she was able to look into his eyes.
“Stay,” she begged. William blushed in the moonlight, and he just pulled away from her with a gentle smile.
“I’m not like that,” he said. “You don’t have to play those games with me.” At the sounds of those words, her face fell and fresh tears filled her eyes. It would never change; every man looked at her as nothing more than a good time to be bought and paid for. Even the most decent sort who would never make an evil move.
“But I’m happy to sit with you,” he said. “Until you fall asleep.” She relaxed a little as he held her hand.
“Thank you,” she said. “But you can’t be comfortable in that chair.”
“This is not about me right now,” he said. “Try to rest.” It was easier said than done even with the feel of his strong palm surrounding her fingers. Angelica spied William glancing out the window. The tender smile never left his face, and she had no desire to dream as she shifted up against the pillows.
“Can we talk?” she asked.
“If you’d like,” he answered. “What shall we discuss?”
“What brings a man like you all the way out here?” William rubbed the bridge of his nose with his free hand, and Angelica did not breathe until he parted his lips.
“A doctor goes where help is needed,” he started. “Between the bar fights and the disease, this seemed as good a place as any.”
“But couldn’t you make more of a name for yourself with the men who already have the gold lining their pockets?” He appeared to consider the question, and a wave of fear stirred in her soul until he finally shook his head.
“I’ll tell you something else, Angelica,” he continued. “When you grow up as the son of a doctor who plies his trade to cover up his sins, you want to change the tune.” Angelica’s curiosity swelled, and she leaned closer to him until she was perched on the edge of the bed, releasing his hand as she rubbed his wrist and urged him to keep going.
“Your mother?” she asked.
“Right up until the day she died,” he confessed. “She always made excuses. Said it was better than being on the streets.” Angelica could have told his mother that it was far from the best available option.
“But it’s alright,” William insisted. “I do this in her name. And I do not abide men like my father.” She smiled and longed to curl into his chest. Just so he could hold her. Would it give him the wrong idea? Angelica had no concept of what the right one was when a shriek from outside the house tore them apart.
“Angel! You better not be in there!” Sam. She shuddered at the sound of his voice and thought of hiding under the sheets, under the bed. William started to leave the room on light, sure feet, and Angelica recovered her senses as she leapt off the bed and grabbed his shoulders.
“Don’t go out there!” she pleaded. “The man is crazy. I’ll go.”
“You’ll do no such thing,” he said, his voice thick as he tried to ease her back to the bed. “Not after what happened to your friend.”
“He didn’t do that,” Angelica said. “And he got her help. Let’s just leave it at that so you won’t have any more trouble.” The idea of going back, the promise of a bloodied lip or worse caused her to cringe. But the doctor didn’t have to take a part in her play.
“No, Angelica,” he said. “I’m handling this.” With a firm nod of his head, William stepped closer to Sam’s screams. Frozen for a second that felt like hours, she heard William’s voice ordering Sam off his property if he knew what was good for him.
“Got no real desire to stay around, friend,” Sam said. “Just hand over my property and I’ll be on my way.”
It wasn’t in Sam’s nature to compromise. She recalled her earliest days with him. The nights when she asked if she could simply stop with the weak, watery promise that she would make it up to him with the rest of the week. Sam had kicked her sides so hard that she felt as if her body would collapse in on itself. But when he was don
e and somehow she could still stand, he sent her back on the floor.
“William, wait!”
Charging out of the house, she stopped short and saw Sam with a blade drawn and a sneer on his face.
“There you are!” Sam said. “You got the other little girl in there with you?” Her tongue tied as William took a step closer and showed no fear.
“She is safe,” he said. “And so help me God, Angelica is going to stay that way.”
“Angelica?” Sam spoke her name like it was a foreign word that he had yet to wrap his mind around. He looked past William’s shoulder, his stare going right through her until he burst out laughing and slapped one hand to his knee. “This here is just Angel,” he said. “And she’s mine.” He pocketed the blade with complete confidence. Did she dare to run? Sam would catch her before she managed more than a few steps, and when William tried to stop him, Sam’s fist slammed into his jaw.
“No!” Angelica shrieked. “Please don’t hurt him!” The doctor was on his knees. He rubbed his bruised flesh as he winced, and Angelica wanted to find a way to help him when Sam pulled at her hair and forced her close to his whiskey-soaked breath.
“Man had one job to do,” Sam said. “And now I’m out a girl. You’re going to do double duty to make up the difference.” Wishing that she was back in the soft bed and just holding his hand, Angelica saw the anger in his eyes. There was no way out. And in that moment, her only thought was to keep William safe.
“Fine,” she said. “I’ll do whatever you want. Just don’t hurt him. Please?” Sam laughed at the sight of her tears and roughly pinched her cheeks as he started to drag her away from the house that nearly felt like a home. William’s eyes locked on hers, and Angelica fought the tears back when the doctor growled like a beast and tackled Sam’s legs.
“Don’t you touch her!” he bellowed. He had Sam on the ground, and his kind hands curled into fists. He got in a few prime blows when the blade was back, and Angelica gasped when she saw the sharp point pressed against the edge of a single vein throbbing in the doctor’s throat.
