by Alice White
“And what if I said that you could have that family along with the finer things?”
Her ears perked up at the proposition, and Elizabeth ran her hand down his arm until she met his hand.
Right there on the second finger of his left hand was a band of gold that turned her blood cold.
“How would that work?” she demanded. “You obviously went ahead with it.”
“Doesn’t mean that I can’t keep you comfortable off to the side,” he said. “Anything has to be better this.”
Was he serious?
“You came here to ask me to be your mistress?” she demanded. “Is that how little you think of me?”
“Is it really so much worse than climbing into a stranger’s bed?”
Gregory waggled his finely trimmed eyebrows and tried to kiss her again when she pushed him back and reached into her pocket.
“The brooch,” he said. “So I must have meant something to you.”
“I’m only glad that I get the chance to give it back,” she said. “You can go now. You don’t have to come back.”
He looked as if he was far from ready to take no for an answer when Jacob appeared, filthy from the fields. He dismounted his horse and hurried to her side.
“Is there a problem?” he asked.
“That depends on the lady,” Gregory said. “If we can still call her that.”
She watched Jacob’s eyes flash around the insult, and he landed a hard punch to Gregory’s jaw when she broke the men apart.
“He was just going,” Elizabeth said. “Please let him leave.”
Wiping the blood from his mouth as he struggled to his feet, Gregory turned to his carriage.
“Last chance,” he threatened. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“Please just go.”
Elizabeth huddled close to Jacob’s side as her past took off into the distance, and Jacob was still fuming as he grasped her arms.
“Who was that?” he asked. “Why was he here?”
“A mistake,” Elizabeth said in a weary voice. “Better left forgotten. Don’t make too much of it.”
“I hope that you’re telling me the truth.”
His arm was like steel around hers as they made their way back to the house. The twins looked ready for their picnic, and Jacob started to take up the basket when Charlie could not resist the urge to question.
“Why did you kiss that man, Lizzie?” he asked. “Don’t you love Uncle Jacob?”
She avoided his eyes and felt his heavy breaths racing down her neck until he stepped in front of her and forcefully cleared his throat.
“Don’t make too much of it?” he echoed. “Is there someone else that you wrote a letter to in the hope of finding something better?”
“No,” she said through her clenched teeth. “He was someone that I actually knew. He wanted to show me better times. Was I wrong to send him away?”
Jacob had no answer as he led the twins from the house with her meal in his hands.
“Maybe the mistake was mine,” he said. “Because I never really knew you.”
He carted the twins away and left her alone in the house. Why wouldn’t he give her the chance to explain? Was he worth anything if he wouldn’t? Elizabeth moved back to her lonely bedroom and heard Hillary’s satisfied chuckle as she fell to the bed and cried herself to sleep.
Chapter Five
Jacob rose before the sun was in the sky, and Elizabeth pushed the blankets closer to his chin as she strained her ears at the sound of his every move. His footsteps fell harder with each passing second, and the grumbles under his breath were unintelligible but full of pain that passed through the walls until she had to see his face and try to soothe the tension. Tightening the robe around her waist, she walked on bare feet and saw him struggling to prepare a cup of coffee. A small smile crossed her lips, and she cleared her throat until he whipped his head around to face her.
“I thought that was my job,” she tenderly teased. “Aren’t you up a little early?”
“Things to do,” he said as he avoided her eyes. “And I am more than capable of brewing my own coffee.”
The smell of burnt grounds defied his argument, but he choked it down black and wiped his sleeve with the back of his hand. Jacob started to leave the house without another word when Elizabeth suddenly lurched forward and grabbed his arm.
“Can I fix you some breakfast?” she asked. “If you have a long day ahead of you, you’ll need to keep up your strength.” His arm just trembled under her touch when he pulled away from her and fixed his mouth in a sneer.
“You need to mind the children,” he said. “Or maybe you have something else in mind to fill your day.”
Her heart shattered in her chest, but Elizabeth slowly shook her head.
“When does the rich man come back around?” he challenged.
“It’s not like that,” Elizabeth muttered as she backed away and smoothed her hands down her sides. “I didn’t ask him to come here. And he tossed me aside.”
“Didn’t stop you from kissing him though, did it?” Jacob continued. “Do I need to start the search up again?”
Her eyes narrowed into a tight glare, and she felt her fingers curling into fists.
“Just like that?” she demanded. “You would do that to the children?”
“No,” he seethed. “But you would. Maybe if I had the finer things to offer, I’d stand a chance of competing.”
Jacob’s shoulders sagged, and she stared him down until his laugh resounded through the air.
“Joke’s on me, though,” he said. “Because you’re not really so sweet.”
“Are those the words that you’re planning to use the second time around?” she asked. “Try that. See if you get anyone else to leave their whole lives behind.”
It was too early to have this fight, and Elizabeth started back to her bedroom when Jacob cut her off and planted his hands to her shoulders.
“Watch me,” he said. “Maybe whoever she is won’t have your way with the little ones. But at least we won’t have to worry that she’ll think of taking off at the sign of a man who can buy and sell all of us for a song.”
His voice was like ice, and she wriggled away from his hold to unfurl her hands and crack her fingers to his face. Elizabeth saw him wince and thought of taking it back and trying to ease his pain when he pushed away and angrily pressed his arms into his coat.
“I’ll thank you to stay until I come back,” he said. “But don’t worry; I’ll see to it that you get your heart’s desire before the day is out.”
Jacob flung the door open and started towards the porch. Charging after him, Elizabeth paused at the railing and watched him rushing to the stables. His heaving back disappeared from her line of sight, and she waited until he started to ride away.
“What would you know of my heart?” she screamed. “You’ve always had a family and you can’t wait to pawn them off on someone else!”
He vanished across the horizon, and she kicked the steps. Her toes ached on impact, but the man would never see of care. Limping back to the house, she hobbled back to her room to dress when the twins appeared in her doorway.
“Lizzie? What’s happening?”
Sarah spoke first as Charlie huddled behind her back clutching his teddy bear and fighting back tears.
“Nothing that you need to worry about,” Elizabeth assured them as she painfully fell to her knees and gathered her small bodies in her arms. “Your uncle is tending to things in town. I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”
“But will you have to go away?”
She had no answer for Charlie’s question, and Elizabeth tightened her embrace as she kissed the tops of their heads and tried to smile.
“Let’s not worry about that right now,” she assured the pair. “You two should get back to bed.”
“We want pancakes,” Sarah said. “You always make them right.”
Would it be the last time she got the chance? Not wanting to pass
it up, she ignored the pain throbbing through her foot and took their tiny hands in hers. Leading them back to the kitchen table, Elizabeth sat them down and poured out two glasses of milk.
“I’ll get the eggs,” she promised. “Now you two just sit quiet like and wait for me.”
Charlie clapped his hands around the body of his bear, but Sarah looked so much older than her years as she sighed.
“Please, Lizzie. That’s what we all want.”
Slipping into a pair of Jacob’s boots that were two sizes too large, she slung the basket over her arm and made her way to the cages. The eggs felt warm and fresh under her hands as she pushed through the straw, and as soon as the basket was full, Elizabeth started back to the house.
Only to be cut off by Hillary who assumed her uncle’s stance and folded her arms across her chest.
“Who was he?”
So much for fleeing from her past. Elizabeth started to part her lips in the way of an explanation when Hillary snatched the basket of eggs from Elizabeth’s hold.
“Is he the man you want to marry?” she asked. “Why? Because he looks rich?”
“He is rich,” Elizabeth said. She felt as if she was back at the orphanage fighting for the upper hand, and Hillary echoed Jacob’s laugh.
“I said we shouldn’t trust you,” Hillary hissed. “Uncle Jacob should have let me take care of the others. We didn’t need someone else.”
She started to charge off when the weight of the basket nearly pulled her down.
“That’s a nice idea,” Elizabeth started. “And I bet one day you’ll make an amazing mother.”
She took the basket back as he helped Hillary to her feet.
“But when you’re a little older,” Elizabeth continued. “Right now, you should get back inside and warm up.”
“Don’t tell me what to do.”
Hillary kept struggling as Elizabeth found her hand and led her back to the table.
“Take it up with your uncle when he comes back.”
At that Hillary huffed, and Elizabeth cracked the eggs and readied the batter. Pouring the thick liquid onto the cast iron skillet, she flipped the patties until they turned brown. Charlie was happy to get the first plating, and Elizabeth patted his head as Sarah took her first bite.
“Don’t get used to it,” she warned. “I don’t think she’s staying.”
Charlie started to pout, and Elizabeth affixed a smile to her face as she waved her hand in the air.
“Now let’s not look so sad,” she insisted. “Nothing has been decided.”
Sarah shrugged her shoulder and speared a piece of pancake with her fork when Hillary rose to her feet.
“But it has!” she yelled. “You were never here to take care of us. You were just waiting until your rich boyfriend came back.”
The twins dropped their forks in unison, and Elizabeth tried to keep her composure as Hillary raced towards the hook on the door for her coat.”
“Hillary, wait!” Elizabeth cried. But Hillary ignored her and raced back into the morning. The sun was just starting to poke through the clouds, and Elizabeth feared what she would trip before she even knew where she was going.
“I should go after her,” she muttered under her breath when she looked back to see Charlie’s mouth stained with syrup. Sarah was already on her feet and reaching for their coats.
“Uncle Jacob said that we should mind you,” Sarah said. “Does that still apply?”
Until he showed up and handed her walking orders, the children were in her care. Elizabeth bundled them into their coats and ran with the twins’ hands in hers past the barn. Should she try her luck on a horse and try to catch up to the older girl? Hillary might be anywhere before she could press the saddle into place, and Elizabeth kept moving forward on foot. Where was the sun? The sky should not still be this dark, and the wind picking up around their legs caused her to press the twins closer.
“Where would she go?” Elizabeth asked.
“To see Mommy,” Charlie said. “The last place she was.”
Elizabeth trembled as she recalled the story of the fall, and she picked up her pace until they reached the edge of a cliff she had seen on her first day.
And she jumped off the cliffs. Do I really have to go on?
“Hillary! Stop!”
The girl was already leaning over the precipice, and Elizabeth let the twins hands fall from hers as she hurried toward the older girl. She whipped her blonde curls over her shoulder with a cold smirk.
“What do you even care?” Hillary demanded. “You might as well be right down there with her!”
Hillary kept her tears in check as she gritted her teeth and leaned into the wind. Fearing that she would go over the edge, Elizabeth ran to stop her and wrestled the girl close to her.
“Your mother wouldn’t want that!” Elizabeth screamed. “Neither would your father!”
“I don’t care what they want!”
Hillary’s feet started to give way underneath the rocks and Elizabeth pictured Jacob coming back to find his sister’s firstborn gone. The loss of one more trace of his sister would crush him, and Elizabeth groaned as she forced Hillary to solid ground.
“Not on my watch!”
She saw Hillary stumble and fall back. The twins were right there to catch her, and Elizabeth started to smile at one job well done when the ground underneath her feet started to give way.
“Lizzie?”
The sound of Sarah’s voice cut through the quickening breeze, and she reached with aching arms until she started to fall thought the air.
“Lizzie, no!”
Whose voice was it now? Elizabeth could hardly recognize the sound as her body started to bang against the side of the cliff. Her hands were weak as she tried to take hold of a few stray branches poking through the landscape. They broke off under her touch, and Elizabeth kept sinking lower when a collection of voices hanging over head gave her the strength to hang on to the nearest rock at her disposal. As she clasped the stone for dear life and wanted to survive, her mind turned to the children. Had someone followed them? Did she let them down because she gave in to an idea from her past?
And Jacob.
Everything else aside, he had seemed so hurt when he left her side. It was the last emotion that she wanted to see in his eyes.
“I have to make it right,” she grunted as she tried to climb back to the surface. The way ahead seemed so long and steep, but she thought she saw a friendly hand and wanted to take hold when the rocky edges gave out, and she started to slip into nothingness.
“No! Don’t leave me!”
Chapter Six
“Elizabeth?”
Her breaths were short and sharp as she turned in the sheets. She remembered the cold and Hillary running from the house with her coat on her back.
“I had to find her,” she muttered. “Couldn’t leave the twins behind.”
“I know. Charlie can’t help but tell the truth.”
“Such a sweet little boy,” she said. “And Sarah.”
But the twins started to fade from her mind as she remembered Hillary starting to fall over the edge of the cliff.
“I went after her,” Elizabeth said. “She was going to fall.”
“You stopped that,” the voice soothed. “Stay calm.”
A soft kiss made its way to the top of her head, and Elizabeth drifted toward the lips and felt a warm arm working its way around her shoulder. She curled into the tender touch and started to feel safe when the image of Hillary losing her footing consumed her mind.
“No!” she screamed, reaching for something that she could not see, and she crawled to the edge of the bed and saw the floor boards looming long and large when the hold behind the kind voice pushed her back into the pillows.
“Easy,” he soothed. “I have you. I’m not going away.”
Blinking hard and fast, Elizabeth registered Jacob’s stubbled visage. When had he come back? The last thing she could remember was the sight of him
taking off in search of her replacement. Was she already in the other room?
“Jacob, I’m sorry,” she muttered. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“It’s the other way around, Elizabeth. But don’t try to talk right now.”
Obeying his order as he brought the blankets over her body, she settled back in the sheets and basked in the warmth. Had he built a fire? Elizabeth could smell the smoke and hear the branches crackling as another blanket made its way over her body. She peered up to see him looking down at her, and she tried to touch his face when he held her hand.
“You gave me quite a scare,” he whispered.
She managed a slight sorry as lightly kissed her cheek.
“I was falling,” she said. “How did I get back here?”
Jacob pushed a few locks of her hair behind her ears and started to kiss her skin again when he darted back and hung his head.
“I held your hand.”
The feel of his hand in that moment, so strong and warm, suggested that he could do anything that he set his mind to. But as her head started to clear, she remembered his fight and the moments when he had flown from her side.
“But you came back,” she said. “Why?”
Jacob tensed under her hold, and Elizabeth tightened her grasp as she stretched up to find his lips and stopped short of a kiss.
“I didn’t like leaving things the way we did,” he said. “You look so sad when you’re angry.”
“I wasn’t really angry,” she started. “Just worried about what was going to come next.”
“So much happened,” he said. “If Charlie is to be believed.”
Nodding her head as she thought of the moment that might have meant her death, Elizabeth shivered and started to fall away again when Jacob kissed her fingers.
“It’s not enough,” she said. “Am I really alive?”
“Feel my hand.”
He squeezed her palm and kissed the backs of her fingers as his head fell to her shoulder.
“Feel all of me. I’m here for you.”
Elizabeth found his eyes and did not release him from her hold as he looked away.
“Why did you go?” she asked.
