What a complete and utter mess it was.
“Why did she write me?” he asked his son, who also seemed lost in thought for a while, looking to the fire. “Why did your mother write me ten years ago?”
Edward didn’t look at his father at first, instead finished his drink and then his attention went to the older man. “Because of me. I wanted the truth. All my life she told me my father had died before I was born and I wanted to learn more about him. I was told he had a store, was a good man and that was all.”
“Why such interest?”
“I was fifteen. All my friends talked about their fathers and I had little information. I wanted to say more than that.” Edward sighed. “She did tell me how much we were alike, though. I never thought how much until I saw you.”
The Duke couldn’t help but to smile a little. “My wife didn’t even need much more than your looks to know you were mine.”
Edward snorted. “She looked as if she saw a ghost.”
“It seems you are a ghost of hers,” the Duke said. Apparently his wife had hidden ghosts they needed to talk about, which reminded him. “I never received those letters.”
“I know, which means she did. No one else would have had the power to.” Edward got up and went to his desk, opening a drawer and taking a small stack of papers from inside.
He walked towards the Duke and gave it to him. “I think you should read them. They are in order.”
The Duke hesitated for a second and took the letters and immediately looked through them. “This is my wife’s handwriting.”
“All is confirmed, then,” Edward said sarcastically and the Duke couldn’t really blame him. “I need to drink more. Do you…?” he asked, pointing to the empty glass the Duke held.
The Duke nodded and gave the glass to his son and while Edward went to refill their drinks, he started to read.
Dear Edward,
It has been so long, Your Grace, since we have last seen one another, I hope this letter finds you well. It matters not if we parted ways how we did. You know I always had you close to my heart.
I write to you now, sixteen years after I left, to tell you about our son.
Even after all that happened, I still named him after you. How could I not, when I loved you still? Of course, it appears I was right to do so as he looks so much like you. You should see him, my lord. A handsome, smart and caring boy.
He excels in his studies, his tutors say, and Lady Tennyson, my dear friend and his godmother, dotes on him and honestly pampers him too much. Between me and the Lady, I think I have given him the best life I could with my limited options and background.
I write you now, Your Grace, because our son just learned the truth about who his father is and I am afraid he might run away to see you. I am not sure how you would receive him in your home without warning, so he agreed I should send you a letter first.
He is just as obstinate as you and just wants to meet you, to know what you are like.
Please, Your Grace, if not for me, do it for an innocent child.
Yours truly,
Daisy Taunton
The Duke accepted the glass his son offered and read the letter once again. Had he received it when it was sent to him, everything would have been different. All of their lives would have been different, and both his children would have met.
Instead, his wife got the letter – she probably recognized Daisy’s name – and wrote back as the Duke.
Miss Taunton,
I am surprised to have received this letter, as I thought my wife made perfectly clear when you both talked all those years ago.
I thought you had gone away and had chosen to not have the child. That is unfortunate for you, I am sure, to raise a bastard child with no father.
About your request. I will not see the boy, refrain him from going to look for me; he will not be allowed to enter my property. He means nothing to me, you inclusive. I have no interest in meeting him just to embarrass myself and my family. I have a child of my own and I do not wish to offend her or my wife with a bastard under my roof.
Do not write me again. I owe nothing to neither of you. A hundred pounds was all you were worth for your troubles.
Edward Egremont, Duke of Bellford
Oh, Anne, the Duke thought. What had she done? Since Kathleen was born, their marriage finally felt more than an arranged match. He even had grown to love her, in a way.
Was she that afraid of the shame of a bastard?
He moved to the next letter and his heart broke while reading it.
Dear Edward,
I care not about the money, Your Grace. All our son wants is to see you, meet his father and make peace with you. No one but us needs to know.
Please, Edward. I know you loved me once and even though what we did was not right, our son bears no guilt. Just for a few minutes, please.
All he has ever wanted was to know about his father and I withheld the truth for so much time and now that he knows, he asks nothing more than a simple meeting.
He is polite, highly educated and I guarantee you he will not mistreat you or your family in any way.
You don’t have to be his father, he has lived thus far without one. He just needs some closure.
Daisy Taunton
“Oh, Daisy,” He whispered to himself.
“Keep going,” Edward instructed. “Read it all.”
Miss Taunton,
It appears I have not been upfront enough, though I think you misinterpreted my words somehow.
Once, years ago, you and I were shameful and I must admit I lied to you about my feelings. How else would I have gotten what I needed from you? You were a way to entertain me whilst my wife and I had problems we fixed later on.
Whatever it is you think you know about me, whatever feelings you might have still, I never had them for you.
You are right about one thing, though. I don’t have to be his father as I do not have a son at all, I don’t care what you have told your boy.
I am sending back all of your letters so you can read them again and realize how low you have reached. I am now a happily married man with a family and name I need to protect.
Do not contact me again. I cannot possibly be certain the child is mine. How many men you were with? Even when we were together, I cannot be certain there were not others. You gave yourself so freely to me, it makes me doubt I was your only one. If you love your son, do not bring him into this.
The last letter wasn’t even signed, as if he didn’t even bother with it, the Duke realized.
Such cruel words. He never thought his wife was capable of such cruelty until that moment.
“Mother got sick, after that.” His son said, noticing he had finished with the letters and the Duke looked up to where he was seated. “There was nothing wrong with her, physically, the doctors said. She would not eat, though, or get up from the bed. She barely spoke, by the end.”
The Duke tried to imagine the always bubbly Daisy like that, and failed. When they were together, she was always happy and laughing. The thought of her being so lifeless was too foreign.
“Even after all that, she loved you and those awful words led her to shut her mind down. She died of sadness; I think. A broken heart,” Edward informed him. “Of course, had I not been asking about my father so much, she would not have written and none of it would have happened.”
His words surprised the Duke. “You… you don’t believe you are responsible for any of this, do you?” Edward’s lack of response and the way he looked away was answer enough for the Duke. “You were a child.”
“I was old enough to know better.”
“Sixteen. You were just sixteen! Neither you nor your mother would ever expect an answer like this. You just wanted to get to know your father.”
“Well, you didn’t see what she looked like in the end. It is hard not to feel responsible.” Edward cleared his throat. “Enough of that. This is the only information I know about what happened between the two
of you. Anything else, you need to talk about with your wife.”
“Yes, I do need to have a word with the Duchess.” The Duke dreaded to have a conversation with her, but he needed to understand why she wrote all that. “About your request of being my heir, Mr. Mc…” he paused. “Edward?” When his son gave him a hesitant nod of permission, the Duke proceeded. “About the title, Edward, I am afraid it is much more complicated than you think.”
“What do you mean?”
“Only legitimate children can inherit titles, unless the King himself grants it otherwise.” The Duke said. “I can try to talk to him, as next month we have a meeting, but it is unlikely to happen as I have a living heir.”
“Lord Reginald Ainsworth.” Edward all but spat the man’s name.
“Yes,” the Duke nodded. “He is the only living child of my cousin, the Viscount of Greenwich.”
“I see.” Edward passed a hand over his face. “So all of this, digging into the past, was for naught.”
“I do not see it that way,” the Duke said. “I learned about your existence and you know now that I was not to blame for your mother’s fate and I am sorry about it all. Since we cannot change the past, we can build a future from this.”
Edward shook his head. “What good will that do? My sole goal was to get the title. Mr. Clifford wants one for his daughter and I cannot provide it. I do not know what to do now.”
The Duke thought it over for a moment. “Should I speak with Mr. Clifford on your behalf? I know Reginald wanted to marry Miss Clifford, but we have yet to meet.”
“I am unsure on how to proceed. I never had a title to lean on and it didn’t stop me from my goals in life. Until now.”
“We will meet with Mr. Clifford. I will send him a letter asking for a meeting in my house. You will be there and we can talk this through,” the Duke said. “He cannot very well deny my summon, one of the perks of being a Duke, I’m afraid. I will tell him I bless your union with Miss Clifford, instead of my nephew’s.”
“Will he believe you?” Edward raised an eyebrow, much like the Duke often did. “Your own daughter was to marry Lord Ainsworth, wasn’t she? Why was she fine to marry him and Miss Clifford is not?”
The frowned in confusion. “I’m sorry, what do you mean?”
“Miss Clifford told me Lord Ainsworth and your daughter were in love, and they were going to marry.”
“I assure you, it is not true,” the Duke said. “Kathleen was infatuated with the young Lord Kilcanny; she told me so. She even wanted to prepare me, since the young man intended to come to me to ask for his permission to court her. The boy was good enough for my Kathleen. I suppose it would have been a good match in the end.”
“Why would he lie about that to Miss Clifford?” Edward wondered.
“The better question is: what else do I not know about my family? Our family.”
Chapter 15
Miss Selina Clifford
“Are you sure you want to go, Lily?” Matilda asked her cousin, as the house grew quieter and Selina was putting on her dark blue robe.
She had told her cousin about meeting Edward that night and even though Matilda had been very excited at first, she was also concerned about Selina. “What if you are caught?”
“If I get caught alone, I will say I decided to take a stroll because I couldn’t sleep and needed to clear my head,” she explained to her cousin. “If I get caught with Mr. McAlister, though… well, let’s not get to it. I don’t think we will take long.”
“I will wait up for you.” Matilda told her.
“Thank you, Tilly.” Selina hugged her cousin. “Now, I must go.”
“Fine. You do remember the way, surely? You leave through the servant’s back door, go right and follow the path until you reach the fence. I will leave the door unlocked for your return.” Matilda explained. “You should have enough cover to not be seen by anyone from the house, but be careful, please.”
“I will.” Selina nodded and both girls went to the bedroom door, opening it carefully so it wouldn’t make a sound. After seeing the hall was empty, they snuck out of the bedroom and started their way down.
Apparently, everyone was asleep, thankfully, and they didn’t meet any challenges along the way. They unlocked the kitchen door and Matilda gave Selina a quick hug before she left.
Selina walked the path she memorized earlier that afternoon when she and Matilda looked for ways to get to the spot quickly and without getting noticed. It was very fortunate it was a clear night and the moonlight lit her way.
She pulled the dark blue robe closer when a cold breeze hit her but was soon at the back of the property. With the knowledge that the gate made some noise, she opened it with so much care and slipped through. Taking measured steps, one at a time, she started off into the woods.
Amused for a second, remembering the first time she met Edward, Selina covered her mouth to muffle her giggle. Who would have thought that night would change her life forever? She never thought she would meet the man she would fall in love with when she ran away.
She heard some rustling of leaves and looked its way, hoping it was Edward and not some wild animal.
After a few moments, she saw Edward come up from between the trees, wearing a dark long coat, his white shirt had its first buttons undone.
His hair was messy and the moment he spotted her, he smiled. She saw his bright green eyes light up and her heart stopped for a moment as she smiled back.
Before she even thought what she was doing, her feet were already moving.
They met halfway, in the middle of the road. His arms around her waist, her hands on his cheeks and their lips met in a frenzy.
Whatever she thought was going to happen when they met, certainly wasn’t that, but she would not complain.
Not when she was kissing him, feeling his warmth radiate and his scent envelop her.
“Hi,” He breathed and Selina giggled.
“Hi,” She answered. “I have missed you.”
“And I, you.” He gave her a quick kiss. “You have no idea what has happened the past few days-” She put a finger over his mouth, to his surprise, and when she was sure he would be quiet, she removed it and whispered.
“It matters not in this moment.” She was bold enough to pull him for another kiss and it appeared to have surprised him for a moment when their lips met, but it only lasted a split of a second.
Edward put a hand on the back of her head, her messy braid a little in the way, but he worked it out, his fingers between her red locks of hair, massaging her scalp while he deepened the kiss.
She could not deny that it surprised her when she felt his tongue touch hers, and at first, she didn’t know what to do, but Edward was patient with her, and soon, they found a rhythm that worked for them both.
Selina thought her first kiss with Edward had been good but it didn’t compare with the one they were sharing at that moment.
She felt her heart beat so fast inside her chest that she was afraid he could feel it, since their chests were so close together.
They stopped kissing for a moment to breathe and they looked at each other’s eyes. His eyes had darkened a lot and she couldn’t explain what it did to her.
She knew they shouldn’t. She knew their meeting was already against society’s rules. Kissing was even worse, but she didn’t want to stop.
She had followed the rules all her life. She had been good and learned whatever was needed, and her father was throwing her to a man she knew would make her unhappy.
Selina didn’t know what news Edward brought her. She didn’t know if they could ever be together, but she would have those precious moments alone with him for as long as she could.
If she couldn’t be a mistress of her own life for a few minutes, why was she even abiding to those rules?
At that moment, in his arms, nothing was complicated. There were only the two of them in the world.
She pulled him in for another kiss and she was much more pre
pared for it than before, kissing him with as much enthusiasm as he did, one of her hands going from his jaw to the back of his head and the other gripping his shirt.
All she wanted was for him to be closer to her.
Once they needed to breathe for more than a second, she hung onto him and gasped when he started to trail kisses from her mouth to her cheek, down to her jaw and finally her neck.
A Hidden Duke For The Passionate Lady (Regency Historical Romance) Page 10
