by Serena James
The man laid a hand on her arm and gently soothed his palm up and down at it. “You are shaking. Relax, you’re safe with me.” She looked down at his hand and he abruptly let go, clearly uncomfortable. “I’m sorry,” he told her. She looked up at him. A wave of familiarity swept over her. She stared into his blue eyes testing her memory for recognition. There was hope shining through them along with heavy anticipation. She was sorry to disappoint him. She couldn’t place him even though her heart stammered out that she was a liar.
Sadness flowed inside her. The hope in his eyes faded and he looked away again. He poured her a drink of water. She sipped it greedily. Her throat felt so dry. He sat down on the chair next to her. She tried to place him once more but it was no use. There was a dense fog in her mind. Then she did remember that he’d been holding her down with her brother so the doctor could sedate her. She frowned at him. He looked bemused.
He asked her, “Do you remember anything? Do you remember who I am?”
She narrowed her eyes. “I remember you holding me down when I didn’t want to be sedated. Who are you? How long have I been out?”
He lowered his eyes and spoke quietly, “I am sorry about that. I didn’t want to cause you any discomfort. It was the best way for your injuries to heal and to keep you safe from MI5’s constant questioning. You might have died if...”
She interrupted him abruptly. “I asked how long? And who the hell are you?”
There was a measure of disappointment in his voice. “Dominic Kane. I am in charge of your security. I am here to get you home safely. You have been out for about three days. They started reducing your sedation yesterday lunchtime.”
She sat up. It was difficult. She was so sore all over and every time she breathed she felt pain. A stark reminder that she had three broken ribs. Her hand flew to her side feeling the pain from her wound. She grimaced. Her injuries were bad. Damn, there would be no swift exit out of the hospital. Dominic was up on his feet trying to make her lie back down. She pushed him away resentfully. She told him fiercely, imperiously, “I do not want to be sedated like that again. If you try anything else, I will leave this hospital and take my chances on my own. Do you understand me, Mr. Kane?”
He had a calm soothing voice. But she remembered the menace it had conveyed to that Allbright man who wouldn’t leave her alone. Dominic Kane was obviously a man who was aware of his power and didn’t have to shout it out. She narrowed her eyes once more as he spoke gently, “Yes, I do. But I couldn’t allow you to leave on your own. You have my word I won’t allow any doctor to sedate you again. Can you remember anything about your ordeal? Is that what you were dreaming about?”
Her stomach did a flip turn as she remembered the dream. There was a tremor in her voice when she suddenly asked, “Who is Jed?”
Dominic’s eyes lowered a little. “Jed was your friend and cameraman. He was killed.”
“I know. I saw it. I was there. I remember. I just don’t know who he really was or who I really am. He told me he loved me before they took his head.” She narrated the dream to Dominic. It was an effort to tell the gruesome affair. Her stomach heaved with revulsion and painful grief the whole time.
“They left his body at the border a week ago,” Dominic told her.
Distress was clearly audible in her voice despite her strained effort to rein it in front of Dominic. “I was kneeling next to him. I was kneeling in his blood. It was like a river around me. They kept hacking at his head. I’ve never heard anyone scream so loud. It was so brutal, I’ve never seen blood spurt... Oh God.” She stopped suddenly, the sickness overwhelming her as the images collided and flashed vividly in her mind. She heard Dominic move quickly. He had a bowl to her mouth. She tried to take possession of it so she could turn away from him. But he held it firmly.
She convulsed violently and vomited. Nothing but water came up. She felt Dominic place his palm in the middle of her back and gently rub. The same wave of familiarity washed over her the moment he touched her. This time a vision accompanied the feeling. She was on a battlefield somewhere and Dominic was with her. She was being sick and he was dressed in battle gear rubbing her back and smiling at her. The feeling changed. It was replaced by something stronger. She felt safe and loved. She turned round to him quickly, stared at him hard. She hoped she could hold onto the feeling if she looked at him. Maybe she could get more.
She whispered to him. “I know you. We know each other don’t we?” He wasn’t meeting her eyes. She watched him take the bowl away from her and press the buzzer for the nurse. She persisted. “Why won’t you answer me?”
“Come on, lie back. You will be more comfortable.” He took hold of her shoulders and helped her lie back onto the pillows. He appeared unafraid to touch her. He was so gentle and tender with her that her suspicions grew. She looked at him with expectant eyes, resting her shaking hands on the bedclothes covering her body. He sat down and smiled faintly. He seemed anxious as he told her, “Yes we know each other.”
“I saw you. You were in the army, I was with you. Am I in the army?”
The handsome familiar man laughed and raised his eyebrows. “I was in the Royal Marines. No, you aren’t in the army. Although sometimes I think you would have had a good career in it. You are a journalist, a correspondent for ATM News. You came to do a programme and some reports on the Royal Marines in the conflict in Afghanistan while I was stationed out there.”
“Were we friends?”
“Yes we were and still... Can you tell me anything else you remember? I know it’s painful but we need to know what happened to you?”
She felt herself go distant again. She returned to the gruesome image and tried to push it forward. It rewarded her efforts. She blurted out, “They were going to do it to me next.” Mr. Kane’s blue eyes widened with fear. She felt startled. It was undeniably fear for her.
She continued trying to concentrate on the images that were coming a little more freely now. She almost whispered, “I keep seeing the blade of the sword flashing in the sunlight. They paraded it in front of me, taunting me with death. It still had Jed’s blood and flesh on it. I felt so cold and icy. Jed’s blood was all over my legs. I had this crazy weird thought that I might drown in it. It felt as though it was rising all around me. I guess people must have weird thoughts when they fear for their life. I don’t know... I’m sorry, I am rambling.”
She ran a shaky hand through her hair. “They splayed my arms open wide. Just like they did to Jed. They forced me to bend forward. I remember one of them lifting my hair over my face. He ran his fingers over the back of my neck, through my hair.” She shuddered. “He made my flesh crawl.”
She glanced at Dominic. His features had tensed. He remained quiet. She told him, “They raised the sword. I closed my eyes. I remember screaming out when I felt it come down on my neck, only it didn’t come down with a blow. They laughed at me. The soldier just rested it there. Then he started to cut my skin. They were laughing. I remember just wanting to die. I actually felt disappointed when they didn’t kill me.” She paused, thinking about her feelings at the time. “It was as if it would have been a relief if I had died. That makes me feel afraid. What kind of life does Rebecca Eaton lead to make her feel like that? I don’t understand.”
Rebecca lifted her long hair up and to the side. She felt for the evidence of what she was remembering. When she found it she leaned to one side and asked Dominic to look. He stood up and leaned over her. She watched him reach out to touch her and then stop. He was looking at his hand. It was shaking. He pulled it away quickly. She didn’t see fear on Dominic Kane’s face but pure rage. She felt concerned for him.
“Mr. Kane, are you feeling all right? What’s wrong? You must be tired sitting here.” She turned back on the pillows and looked up at him. Something made her reach out and touch his hand. “Please Mr. Kane, sit down. You don’t look so good.” She tried to give him a small smile of reassurance. He looked so fierce, as though he were about to boil over but
she wasn’t afraid. She knew it wasn’t aimed at her. He looked down at her fingertips touching his hand. She suddenly felt embarrassed and tried to move them but he caught her hand and held it fast.
Every time he touched her she felt that delicious warm safe feeling again. She didn’t want him to let go. All of those horrible memories were retreating. She could see only him. His hand felt so warm and large around her own. His thumb caressed her knuckles. She asked him carefully, “We are more than friends aren’t we?”
She was given a warm wistful smile. “We were once. You should get some more rest. I want you fit enough to travel. It’s very dangerous in Kamol, a war is brewing. Another rocket was fired into the city last night. It wasn’t far from here. A little too close for comfort...”
She interrupted him. She said pointedly, “And I slept right through it.” She pulled her hand away wondering how she could feel safe with a man that held her down so a doctor could inject her against her will.
Dominic put his hands on his hips. “Ah, so we are back to that. I can see that you aren’t going to get over the sedating incident as quickly as I hoped. In time I hope you will forgive me and understand I was trying to protect you. But knowing you it won’t be any time soon and I am going to have to lump it until then.”
She snapped defensively, “If there is ever a then...”
“Yeah, if there is. I hope there will be.”
“So if we are friends and were more than that once... Do I call you Dom or something like that? Do I always use Dominic? I just get this weird feeling I have a nickname for you. It’s on the tip of my tongue.” The very idea of it made her smile unexpectedly. She was sure it was something that wound him up but she couldn’t remember.
She wanted to ask him more about their relationship but she wasn’t sure she should. There was obviously a break up and she didn’t want to stir anything that should be left alone. She liked him already and besides he would have an advantage over her missing memory. She wouldn’t be able to defend or even understand her own position if an argument ensued. One thing was clear though, he still cared for her and he was angry that she’d been hurt. She wasn’t sure how she should feel about that. She felt so numb about everything at that moment. Still, there was that warm feeling again. Looks like you mightn’t be the only one who still cares, Mr. Kane.
His answer was quick. “No, no you just call me Dominic, There’s no nickname, I can assure you.”
Liar. Those Paul Newman eyes just gave you away.
Chapter Nine
Rebecca’s Hospital Room – 6:11 a.m.
Kane decided it was time to order breakfast. This morning he would order it for two. Rebecca had been awake for most of the night and had been animated, writing down everything she could remember. He’d felt relieved. He’d spent night after night watching her corpse like body lie in the bed hooked up to drips and machines. It was good to see even a small amount of colour return to her face. She’d asked a lot of questions, especially about their relationship and there had been a couple of tense moments but the night had passed well. He’d refused to give much away, challenging her to remember.
He called downstairs and ordered two full English breakfasts from the menu, another benefit of a private hospital. She needed fattening up - he wanted those curves back. He put down the phone and watched her begin to flick channels on the flat screen on the wall in front of her bed. She stopped when she reached BBC World News. “Hey Dominic, That’s you!”
Kane froze. There was a photograph of him in full Royal Marine dress uniform filling the screen. Where the hell did they get that?
She was grinning at him. “You look very handsome in your uniform, Mr. Kane.” He grinned back at her both amused and flattered. They remained silent as they listened to the newsreader talk over the photograph.
“A former Lieutenant-Colonel in the Royal Marines, Dominic Kane supervised Rebecca Eaton’s visit to the front line in Afghanistan. He is heading her security in North Bundhara and is eager to get Rebecca out of the country before an invasion occurs.”
Kane murmured to himself, “Damn right I am. Today.”
The News Reader continued. “The British Embassy in North Bundhara has advised all British nationals to return home and has sent the majority of its staff back to the UK. The British Security Services have been keen to talk to Rebecca Eaton about an interview she is believed to have conducted with the terrorist Doctor Tasanee Somwan, but their efforts have been hampered by Ms Eaton’s loss of memory. ATM News insists that no details of an interview with Somwan were transmitted by Rebecca Eaton and there is no record of it ever taking place. Meanwhile, Britain is on full alert. The threat is believed to have emanated from Somwan’s terrorist group, The Bundenese Liberation Army.”
Kane heard Rebecca snap angrily, “They are lying. I would have at least sent a report. Don’t ask me how I know, I just do. There is no way I would have hung on to it. I would have wanted it out on the news... How the hell can I remember things like that and not who I am?”
She turned to Kane. He could see the frustration and desperation on her face. He too found it hard to believe that she wouldn’t have uploaded the interview to ATM. He felt his brow furrow and crease. It was possible that someone had blocked it.
“Someone might have stopped it uploading,” he suggested.
“Why would they do that?”
“I don’t know. Unfortunately you are the only one who probably has the answer. Maybe MI5 have an idea?”
“How did you get them to leave me alone?”
Kane smiled at her gently. “A friendly chat and a couple of telephone calls to the right people convinced them that I would be better at protecting you. The North Bundharan government weren’t too happy at finding out about their presence in the country. Besides, your doctors told them that they wouldn’t get much information from your memory for a while. But when we touch down in London I’m not going to be able to keep them off your back for long.”
She put a hand to her head and rubbed it. She said with an irritated sigh, “So It’s vital I remember what happened. I wish I could. There are so many fragmented images in my head, I just can’t place them.” She looked down at the pad of paper and tapped the pencil on it. She started talking again but he knew she was really talking just to herself when she said, “I need to get going on this. I need to start working on this like a journalist. Maybe then I can get some control back in my life.”
He glanced back at the screen. A correspondent was talking about Rebecca’s time in Helmand Province at Camp Bastion with him. She asked him, “Are the Security Services going to be able to do what they said? Can they take me into custody and somehow force me to remember with drugs?
He looked at her seriously, immediately sensing the fear under her light matter of fact tone. He told her firmly, “No they can’t. That’s why I am here. I won’t allow them. I will do whatever it takes to stop them. I promise you that. Anna Harker has arranged for a specialist in amnesia to see you the moment you return home. We will get to the bottom of all of this. Try to relax as much as you can. You will remember when you allow yourself to feel safe.”
She gave him a shaky smile and nodded. Then she turned her head quickly back to the flat screen. Bemused he followed her gaze. There was a photograph being displayed on the screen in glorious Technicolor of him and Rebecca at Camp Bastion. He had his hand on her arm and the way they were looking at each other gave away their close attraction. One of his men had obviously thought he could make a fast buck by selling the photograph to the media.
As if to add insult to injury the correspondent continued, “It has been rumoured that Lieutenant – Colonel Kane or Major Kane as he was known when this photograph was taken, had an intimate relationship with Rebecca Eaton that was kept hidden. It has also been said that the end of this relationship prompted him to leave the Royal Marines.”
He stretched out a hand to where the remote lay discarded on the bed next to her to switch it off but she was
quicker. She snatched it out of his reach. She asked with concern, “Is that true? Did you leave the Royal Marines because of me? It was obviously a bad break up. What did you do wrong?”
He snapped, “Oh I did something wrong? What about you?” He was in danger of letting his temper go. She stared forward, suddenly silent.
“Looks like you have an advantage there, Mr. Kane.” She narrowed her eyes at him with painful frustration. “I can’t remember all of Rebecca Eaton’s life. Maybe you can fill in the blanks.”
He hated the way she talked of her true self as an alien person. It wasn’t healthy in his opinion. It was as though she had never existed. It was weird.
He snapped once more. “No. I am not going to do that. It isn’t my place to tell you.” He issued her with a challenge. “Get your memory back and then we’ll talk.”
He walked away towards the window and stood watching the dawn breaking over the city. She was silent and it made him uncomfortable. He hadn’t wanted to hurt her. He desperately wanted to tell her about their break up, how her arguments and accusations had been unfounded. He’d wanted to apologise for all the trouble it had caused her. He wanted to work it out between them. But she had no memory of it and wouldn’t be able to defend her feelings or her actions. It would have been an unfair argument to win. He heard movement and turned around to find her sitting on the edge of the bed with the covers off pulling at one of the drips. She was murmuring to herself. “How do I get this bloody thing out of my arm?” He rushed over.
He tried to stop her pulling at the needle that lay in her arm attaching the drip. “What are you doing? Don’t yank that. Stop it. I am calling the nurse.”
