by Emilia Finn
“Please let me go.” She angles away from the doorway as we push through crowds of people. “Please just let me go.”
“Why’d you come here, Jess?” I don’t look down when I speak, instead I watch Jay ahead of me. “Why’d you come here? I warned you to stay away. I left you in my bed with your pretty hair and sexy butt cheeks, but you came out anyway. This is what happens when you don’t listen. I’m only trying to protect you, beautiful. I don’t want anyone to hurt you.”
“Please let me go.”
Stepping into the dark room, Jay pulls a handgun from his belt and waves it in the air. “Get the fuck out, cocksuckers. This is our party now, and none of you motherfuckers are invited.”
My dick crushes against my zipper when I catch a flash of platinum blonde hair and creamy white skin. Three men and one sexy fuckin’ blonde race around the room and collect clothes.
“Please let me go.” Choking on her tears, my virgin digs her nails into my arm. “Please just let me go.”
My eyes stop on Jess’ for half a second. Her bright blue gaze digs in to my heart until my stiff cock isn’t the only thing throbbing, but then she’s gone.
Like she was never there.
As soon as the room is clear, Jay dramatically kicks the door shut and slams his girl against the solid wood. She goes willingly and accepts his tongue down her throat and his hand in her pants.
I drag my girl to the long leather couch – the voyeur’s vantage point –slump down, and pull her into my lap. Turned the fuck on, I watch Jay slam his cock inside the woman. “Jessie.” I grab the back of her head and push it toward my belt. “I’ll fix you up after, I promise. You do me first, ‘cause blow makes me horny as fuck, and I’ve been horny since the night I met you. Take the edge off for me, then I promise to look after you.”
She fights my hold, scratching at my hands and snapping her teeth. I drag my gaze from the fucking couple and come eye-to-eye with tear filled brown eyes. Slowly, my gaze slides over my tattooed arm and stop on brown hair threaded through my fingers.
That’s not right. “You’re not Jess.”
Fat tears slide over her lip and land on my lap. “I don’t know Jess.” Her hands shake. “I’m just Nora. Please don’t hurt me. Please don’t make me do this. I just want my sister. I wanna go home.”
“You shouldn’t have come here, Jessie. Did your daddy tell you to stay inside, but you got it in your stupid fuckin’ head to go out anyway?”
“I’m sorry.” She scratches my hand and tears away strips of my skin. “I’m sorry. I won’t ever do it again. Please just let me go home. I promise to never come here again.”
I can’t focus. Can’t process. Everything is in fast forward except me.
The music.
Jay’s fucking.
His pistoning hips.
My girl’s cries.
His girl’s screams – the good kind of scream, not the bad scream.
Turning back to my girl, I study her perky little nose. “How old are you?”
“I’m sixteen.” She grunts and works to tear my hand from her hair.
I feel nothing. Nothing except the blood thrashing beneath my skin and a soft ass sitting on my painfully full cock.
I look around the room, blinking as lights from the club flash, and as Jay’s synchronized grunts blend with the music inside my ears until it’s a blur of noise.
What the fuck did Abel cut that coke with?
16
Jess
A Midnight Call
Irrationally annoyed, I stomp around my kitchen and slam the freezer door closed. Dropping ice cubes in my glass of milk and then adding rainbow sprinkles to add sugar and color, I stand at the sink in fuzzy slippers and short pyjamas, and lament the fact that Kane is working right now.
Working, for him, means doing illegal things.
It means incompatibility between the lawyer and the criminal.
Not even my rainbow milk will pull me out of my funk.
Home alone, since Laine is at her boyfriend’s now that he’s back, and Luc and Kari are working, I stand in the shadowed kitchen and stare out the window into the street.
Kane’s a good person.
Somewhere deep inside, beneath the tattoos and snark and dark humor, he’s a good person. Why else would he save me?
Twice.
Why would he continue to hang out with me, buy me breakfast, demand I stay for lunch and dinner, too? Why would he buy fried chicken and put movies on and insist we chill out on his bed for hours and hours before he had to leave?
Why is he working for Abel?
Why does he refuse to look for something else?
I can help him. I can help him live a good life where he doesn’t have to be afraid of arrest or death on a daily basis.
Going against everything I was raised to believe, right and wrong, black and white, I vow to overlook his past if he promises to have a better future.
I won’t tell a soul about the men he hurt in the alleyway. I won’t say a word, so long as he promises to turn over a new leaf. It’s not like they didn’t deserve it.
They were bad men. They were going to hurt me.
Kane did the right thing. So I can easily live with my secrets if Kane promises to live on the right side of the law from now on.
But he won’t.
He refuses.
Sipping my milk, I crunch on the sprinkles and sigh. Why can’t he be different? Why can’t he work for Angelo instead of Abel?
Why must I like someone absolutely unavailable to me?
In the silence of the night – no TV, no radio, nothing but the motor of the fridge buzzing near my hip and the crunch of sugar between my teeth – my cell chirps and draws my attention. The clock at the top of my screen reads a little past midnight, but it’s not the time that makes my pulse beat harder.
‘Al’ flashes on my screen and sends me into an uncool frenzy that I absolutely can’t explain.
Why the excitement? Why the nerves? I spent the entire day with him. I’ve slept in his bed more than once now, and yet, a call when I’m home and all alone makes my hands shake.
I pick up my cell and swipe the screen. “Hello?”
Instantly, the loud blast of music booms in my ear. “Ah, Blondie!” Kane’s shouted words make me frown. He sounds different. “I found you. Where the fuck did you go?”
“Um… home. Where are you?”
“Why aren’t you still in my bed? I fuckin’ love having you in my bed.”
“Where are you, Kane? Are you at the club?”
“Mmm. I’m so fuckin’ horny, Jessie. Please come to me. Let me put your titties in my mouth.”
Ever since I’ve known Kane, he’s never been shy about touching me. He’s filthy and crude ninety-nine percent of the time, and he’s unapologetic about it a hundred percent of the time.
But right now, this voice, this tone isn’t right.
“Kane?”
“Oh, Kane…” he tries to imitate me. “Fuck, Blondie. You have no clue how much I’ve wanted to fuck you.”
“Are you okay? Are you drunk or something?”
“Nope. I didn’t have a drop. I’m high as fuck, though. Jay’s fuckin’ his girl, and though he’s kinda ugly, it’s turning me on. Come to me, beautiful. Let’s show ‘em how to monster fuck. Let’s make ‘em blush.”
“No.” I set my milk down and bring the phone away from my ear to stare at the screen. “You’re high? You should go home and sleep.”
“No?” Almost like I can hear him throwing his hands up in exasperation, he grunts when they come down again. “What’s with all the chicks saying no tonight? Fuck me, you and your women’s freedom speech is spreadin’, Blondie. It’s a revolution!”
“Who else said no?”
“Lisa… Leeeesa. Then Nora, too. She won’t stop fuckin’ crying, so now I gotta sneak her stupid ass outta here once Abel thinks we fucked. He’ll shoot us both if he thinks I just let her go.”
“You have
girls there? With you?”
“Mmhm. Just one. We’re in the party room and she’s an itty-bitty little thing. She’s got socks in her bra and marks on her teeth where her braces used to be.”
Rage and jealousy pump through my blood. It’s irrational and stupid, but I can’t stop the flow any more than man can stop the flow of lava from a volcano. “How do you know what’s in her bra, Kane? How do you see that close to her teeth?”
“‘Cause I looked, duh. Fuck, Blondie. My cock hurts so much; it’s been hurting since I met you. Just one time, one fuck, then I’ll go back to being my regular crude self, minus the fucking.”
“Kane… no.”
“Hey!” I jump in the dark and press a hand to my heart. “Did you put cream on your stitches tonight? It pisses me off that I care.”
“Kane…”
“I used to be immortal, Jessica. I was a god. Unreachable. Unbreakable. But guess what?”
“What?”
“You! You fuckin’ happened. Now I’m probably gonna die ‘cause my heart bleeds for you. You make me wanna pet your hair and make you safe, and that means I’d die to protect you.”
“Please don’t die.”
“I have no choice. One day I’ll die. One day we’ll all die.” A loud crash on Kane’s end of the line makes me jump. A woman screams, but he simply snickers. “Shush it, Nora. Let him go. He’s monster fuckin’.”
“Kane? Who’s monster fucking?”
“Jay. His ass is ugly, but his girl isn’t.”
“You can see a naked woman right now?”
“Uh-huh. Except she’s still got her bra on. But it’s pushed down under her tits, so it doesn’t really count.”
“Oh…kay.” Tears prick my eyes for reasons I can’t explain. Turning back to the sink, I pick up my milk and pour it down the drain. “I’ve gotta go now. Please be safe. I’ll always help you get a new job, just tell me when you’re ready.”
“No! Don’t go. Just another minute. I’m almost done.”
“Done what?”
“Your voice, Jessica, turns me the fuck on. Just another minute,” he grunts. “Nearly there.”
“Nearly where? What are you doing, Kane?”
“Touching my cock, beautiful. I’m touching my cock and I’m imagining it’s you. Fuck…” Now that I know what he’s doing, it’s like I can hear the strokes from the way his breath pants out. “I’ve never hurt for a chick as much as I hurt for you. I’ve never met someone as beautiful as you.”
“Kane… I can’t… I’ve gotta go.”
“Put your fingers in your pussy, Jess. Do it with me. Or better yet, just come here and sit on my cock. That would be soooo much better.”
“You’re touching yourself with other people in the room?”
“Uh-huh. But Jay’s busy fucking. And Nora’s sitting in the corner like a naughty little girl. A guy undoes his belt, and she bolts.”
“Who is Nora?”
“Nora’s the virgin Abel gave to me.”
“The virgin…” I fan my face to stop the stupid tears from falling. I can’t do this. I’m not cut out for these types of calls.
He’s calling me and doing dirty things. He’s in a room with other people, and he’s calling me beautiful. But he was given a woman.
“She was given to you?”
“Ugh. Yes. But she’s not who I want. I picked her, ‘cause if I left her with Abel, he’d tear her apart.”
“Kane…”
“I never saved anyone before in my life. I didn’t give a fuck. But then you walked into a fuckin’ alleyway you shouldn’t have been in and now I’ve grown a damn conscience. It’s pisses me the fuck off that you made me soft, Jess. I need to stay hard in my work. I have no room for mistakes.”
“Kane. Leave that place right now. Come home to me, I’ll take care of you for the night.”
“You would?” His voice turns softer. “Nobody ever took care of me before. Not like how you mean it.”
“Yeah. I would. I promise. Leave right now and I’ll meet you at your apartment. I’ll help you.”
“You’ll suck my cock?”
No. “Sure. I’ll help you rest.”
“Are you at my apartment?”
“No. I’m at mine, but I can go to yours. I can be there in five minutes, then we can climb into bed together, I promise. Leave that place. Don’t touch that girl, please.”
“I didn’t touch her. I picked her, but I didn’t touch her. She needs to go home to her daddy.”
“Okay. Let her go home, then you come home to me. I’ll stroke your belly while you sleep.”
“Mmm.”
“Are you still touching yourself?”
“Yup. Your voice is the sexiest thing I ever heard. Blow makes me so fuckin’ horny, Jessie. So fuckin’ horny I can’t control it.”
“Blow?”
“Yuh. But I think Abel cut it with something bad. He said it was pure, but that cocaine ain’t like nothin’ I ever had before.”
“Cocaine?” I screech so loud, a bird nestled in the tree out my kitchen window takes flight. My heart pounds as I turn and run toward my bedroom. “You had cocaine? Cocaine that you don’t even know what it was cut with?”
“Yeah. Abel said I had to. If we don’t do what he says, he shoots. That motherfucker is trigger happy. But I got a little party bag, so maybe I could let you have some.” I work one handed to push my pyjama shorts off and pull jeans on. “But I won’t, beautiful. You’re not allowed any. It’s my job to protect you, and Abel’s a dangerous man. No way am I letting you snort anything. Oh… Jess.” His breath comes faster. “You feel good around my cock. I wanna be in your cunt so bad it makes me sick. Just one time, beautiful. One time, one fuck, and I promise I’ll be sorta gentle. A little bit gentle. Like, I’d monster fuck you, but I’d make sure you like it. I’d eat you out first.”
“Kane…”
“Yeah.” I can hear the smile in his voice. “You keep saying my name while I stroke, that works goooood. Come here and sit on my cock. Can you imagine? Imagine your hot pussy around my cock? You’d eat me up and spit me out, and I wouldn’t even be sad.”
“Are you leaving, Kane? Are you going home? I’ll meet you there.”
“Not yet.” His panting ridiculously sends tingles rolling through my panties. I’m scared out of my brains for him, angry that he’s even at the club. Angrier yet that he’s in a room with at least two other women and a couple that are naked and fucking. But listening to him pant for me, imagining him stroking his powerful dick while he speaks to me, makes my heart thrum.
“Please come home, Kane. I’ll wait for you.”
“Are you touching yourself, Jess? Are you already inside? I wanna be your fingers right now. I’ll lick every drop off them.”
“No, I’m not touching myself. I’m getting dressed.”
“Dressed? Wrong direction, Blondie. ‘Sposed to be getting undressed.”
“I’m going to your place. I’ll meet you there.”
“No. Wait. Don’t go to my place unless I’m there. That parking lot is as dangerous as the club.”
“Well, I’m already moving to my car. So you better hurry and get home to protect me.”
“Fuck, Jess. Stop. Just wait a sec.”
I stop on command and straighten up. “What?”
“I’m gonna come. Talk to me. Tell me you wanna fuck me.”
“No.”
“Yes!” His breath slams into my ear. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” I imagine Kane’s powerful arm moving fast. His strong hand. Liquid seeping from the tip of his cock. “Ughhhhh, Jessie. Fuck, Jess. I’m gonna come in your mouth.”
Wait, what?
“Whose mouth? Kane? Who’re you with right now? Whose mouth?”
“Yours, beautiful.” Letting go on a groan, he makes my panties slick and my heart bleed. Two completely opposite reactions, two conflicting feelings slamming through my chest at the same time.
Did he just come in someone’s mouth?
Did he just sort of cheat on me?
I understand we’re not together, and yet, I can’t help the tears that slide along my cheek.
“Did you just come in someone’s mouth, Kane?”
“Only yours, Blondie. I promise. Only yours.”
“I’m not there, you stupid asshole!” I knuckle a tear aside and press the heel of my palm against my chest to stave the pain. “I’m not there, I’m here. Whose mouth was around your cock?”
“Nobodies.” He lets out a long sigh. “I got come on my jeans, Blondie. Never in my fuckin’ life have I had come on my jeans until I met you.”
“Nobody touched you?”
“No.”
Pathetically, my breath hitches. “You promise?”
“I promise. I would never lie to you. Well…” He sniggers. “I lie to you about heaps of shit, but the way my heart likes your heart; I won’t lie to you about that.”
“Come home to me? Please. I can’t sleep without you.”
“Come get me? I can’t drive. I don’t feel so good.”
Less than ten minutes after ending my call with Kane, I pull up out front of Infernos; the one place that sends my blood cold.
It’s nearly one in the morning. The sky is pitch black, not even the moon or stars illuminate this hell hole, and yet, music slams inside my chest, and lights blink and flicker through the doorway.
Like there’s a constant security detail of creeps waiting to break women, men step out of alleyways and around the corner of the club. They hold their dicks, pinch cigarettes between their lips and show off stained and broken teeth.
They watch me sit idle at the curb.
How is Kane the sweet man I know deep, deep inside, when he comes here every day?
How has he not absorbed their poison yet?
Maybe he has.
“Blondie!” The door swings open and scares the crap out of me. Kane flops into the passenger seat and turns to me with glassy eyes.
The overhead lights reflect in almost dead orbs and break my heart. Where his eyes are usually large and round, sparkling and beautifully dark, tonight his pupils have swallowed them whole. Sweat drips over his still bruised face, and his cheeks, normally a dark tan, now shine with a gray tinge.
