“Nah.” Paulie smiled. “I have a car. Glad I got to meet you, Mr. Harris.” He put out a hand.
Jon chuckled. “Just Jon. If you’re looking for a band, I might be able to help you with that.”
“Cool.” Paulie let his hand fall to my hip. “I’m looking. Right now I’m bartending again, but music is my passion.”
“OK. Then I’ll ask around.” Jon got to his feet. “Don’t be afraid to ask for help, Crystal.” He turned his attention to Paulie. “Give her a chance to grieve. She don’t need to jump into something else so fast.”
I stared at Jon’s back as he left.
“He’s right.” Paulie squeezed my right hip, and I jumped. “Sorry. I keep forgetting. I should bring you back inside before your brothers think I’m coming on to you too.”
When Paulie set me on the couch between my brothers, he let his fingers linger on my leg a bit too long. I felt his longing in my heart, but I didn’t return the feeling. At least he’s not pushing me. I couldn’t stand to be caught between him and Chad. I lay my head on Gavin and closed my eyes. Things had become complicated.
“We gotta go in a few,” Gavin said as he caressed my cheek. “You sure you’ll be OK, kid?”
I nodded. “Yeah. Chad’s a great caregiver.”
“You got Mom too,” Cameron added.
I put a hand out to him and he clasped it. “Where you off to?”
“Meeting Josh for drinks.” Gavin’s finger moved over the small scars on my cheek. “I’ll be around for at least a week. So call me for anything.” Minutes later, my brothers said their goodbyes.
Rosario sat next to me and clasped my left hand in his. “Do you need anything for the next few days?” He kissed my fingers.
My eyes closed. Giovanni had done that often. He laid our hands on his thigh. Then I remembered something. “Please don’t go to Iraq.” I squeezed his fingers, afraid to lose him too.
“Hey.” He pulled my head to his chest. “I’m not going. My unit already left. They changed my orders when we lost him.”
“Good.” I held back the tears, barely. “I don’t want you to go.”
He sighed. “I have to go back to North Carolina when my leave is over, but you got me for 11 more days.”
* * *
About an hour later, Paulie and I were alone on the couch. Chad had come upstairs, but he still worked, as he sat at the kitchen table. Our mothers had gone to the grocery store. The house was eerily quiet. Even the television volume was low. It was good though. I needed to wind down.
Paulie rubbed my left leg, which was in his lap. “Want me to shave you?”
“Huh?” I lifted my head and glanced down my body. The shorts I had on exposed most of my legs. My mouth dropped. It was the last thing on my mind.
With a smile, Paulie said, “Shave your legs. I know you don’t like it this way. I’m cool with it though.”
Chad blurted out, “No. I’ll do it tomorrow.”
“It’s no big deal,” Paulie insisted. “I got nowhere to go.”
I didn’t want them to fight over it, I shook my head. “I can do it.”
Paulie rolled his eyes. “How? One handed? Yeah right. Just lay back.”
I groaned and settled back down. When he came back, he had Chad’s razor, shaving gel, a towel and a cup of water. I watched him carefully shave my good leg. Then he pursed his lips as he debated how to do the other one. The boot cast went almost to my knee. He gently lifted my right leg and set it the cast on his thigh.
“Tell me if I hurt you.”
I turned my head to check on Chad. He glared at Paulie. I knew that jealous expression anywhere. If it kept up, things could get ugly.
Paulie suddenly asked, “Do you want me to come over in the morning to help you wash up?”
“No.” Chad continued to stare. “I got it. We have a routine, kinda.”
Paulie froze. Then he gave Chad a dirty look. “You undress her? Why can’t her mom do that? It’s not right.”
“Don’t start this now. Please.” Chad sighed. “Things’re hard enough.”
Chapter 26
When I woke up the next morning, Chad’s naked body was against mine from behind. He had worked so late that my mom had helped me get ready for bed. Didn’t she put pajamas on me? How’d I get naked?
Then the faint memory of Chad inside me in the middle of the night returned. His moans and gasps were soft, but his rhythm was rough. I had heard more than moans. That meant he was awake. I fell back asleep before he came though.
I was shocked when Chad’s cock withdrew from me. I had no idea we were having sex again. Or was I only asleep for a few minutes?
He pushed back in with a grunt. “Damn, you feel good,” he whispered as he took my breast in his hand. “I wish you were on your back.”
“I could be,” I softly replied.
He jumped. “You scared the shit outta me. I thought you were sleeping.”
“Not anymore.”
His hand traveled up and down my bare thigh, lightly. “So… you awake enough for some more?” He kissed my shoulder. “I know I came three times already, but I’m horny as hell again.”
Sex usually helped him sleep but obviously, it didn’t work. Then I realized he said he came three times. I must have slept through most of it. My medications were quite strong.
“Sure.” I felt him hold onto a condom as he pulled out. I didn’t move, so it wouldn’t slip. “What time do we gotta be ready?” I asked as my hips squirmed a bit. My pussy already felt neglected.
“We have hours. Don’t worry.” He slowly turned me to my back. “Do you want your pain pills first, just in case?”
I shook my head. “No. I’m OK.”
He slowly got into position on top of me and held me close. “Ah, yeah,” He moaned while he drove in deep. “I love holding you like this.” When he bottomed out, he groaned and circled his hips.
My head went back, and I sighed. Then I whispered, “My mom’s gonna hear us.”
“She went to my parent’s house. We’re alone.”
His strokes were slow and gentle. We moaned and sighed together, as we clung to each other. After a while, Chad picked up his head then bent down and kissed my lips. His hair fell around me, and even more desire came over me.
When I lifted my hips up to his, Chad gasped. “Oh yeah, baby.” He sighed then uttered, “Don’t do it if it hurts though.”
“I’m OK,” I assured him then met his next stroke. My hip was still sore, but pleasure masked the ache.
We built up the intensity gradually. I reached out and pulled his hair as a sudden orgasm took me by surprise. My hips automatically ground up into his, and I winced. When I was able to take a breath, I let them fall and he came down with me. His hips went around which prolonged the spasms.
“God that feels amazing.” Chad gasped a few times. “I can’t believe you’re really mine.”
I looked up. His eyes closed, and his mouth was open. He looked so sexy. It added to the ecstasy still that washed over me. I tensed and quivered inside yet again. As I cried out his name, I dug my nails into his arm.
“Fuck, baby!” His body tensed, and he gasped again. “Sorry. Oh damn!” His cock pulsated which told me he was done. “I… been… at this… a while. Goddamn! That felt so good.” He was out of breath as he held me close. “At least you came.”
“That I did.” I yawned and closed my eyes. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” He moved his head and kissed my lips. Then he relaxed over me and lay on the pillow next to my head.
* * *
When I woke up again, Chad was still asleep. I was surprised he didn’t hurt me. However, I spoke too soon. He shifted, and his hip landed on mine.
I whimpered but tried not to cry. “Chad, get u—up. Please… Ch—ad.”
He stirred then lifted his head. “Sorry.” He carefully rolled off me. “I didn’t mean to crash on you. I couldn’t sleep last night.” He lay next to me on his side and kissed
my temple. Then the doorbell rang. He jumped out of the bed, threw out the condom and pulled pajama bottoms from a drawer. “Shit!” he shouted as he tried to get them on quickly.
“Where are you guys?” his mom shouted from the hallway. She must have used her key. “We have to be there in an hour.”
Chad walked out but left the bedroom door on a crack. “We overslept.”
“I’ll say.” My mom peeked in the bedroom. “Do you have clothes on?”
I grabbed at the sheet that was just within reach. “No!”
“I still have to give her a bath.” Chad came back in the room in a hurry. “Crystal, try to sit up.”
I struggled then used the bed to help me. “Maybe I can wash myself?”
“You wanna try?” Chad didn’t look hopeful.
With a forced smile, I told him. “Yeah, it’ll save us time.”
Minutes later, Chad was in the shower, while I tried to clean myself. However, I could only reach so much.
“You OK?” he shouted over the water.
“Yeah.” I pulled my good leg up. Suddenly, my bad one slipped. Then I fell backward. “No!” I slid down then my head hit the tub wall.
Chad rushed to me. Before I could do anything, he pulled my right leg out of the very shallow water and helped me sit up a little. “OK. I’m washing you from now on. Got it?”
“Fine.” I was disappointed, but I knew it could be dangerous or force me to go back to the doctor.
“You guys alright?” my mom asked from what sounded like Chad’s room.
Chad looked up as he climbed into the tub. “Just a little mishap. She’s fine.” He put my foot on the side then leaned over and kissed my lips. “You are, right?”
I nodded and handed him the washcloth. “I couldn’t reach my leg.” I saw what I thought was a shadow but wasn’t. Internally, I groaned. It sucked to be dependent on others. “Uh, can you help me shave here?” I pointed to my armpit. “I think I can do the right side, but I might slide again.”
“Sure.” He smiled. “I’ll be careful.”
When I was back on the bed and dry, I picked up the panties Chad had put out and tried to get them on. I got my good leg in, but the bruises on my hip hurt too much to get my right foot close enough. I lay back frustrated. I hated to be helpless.
“It’s OK.” Chad put them on me, a towel wrapped around his hips. “You’ll be able to do it soon.” He got me into an upright position and helped me with my bra.
Then he opened the bedroom door. “Can you guys help her get dressed? I gotta jump back in the shower.” He went into the closet and brought a dress to me. “Do you like this one?”
“It’s nice.”
Chad’s mom came in the room with a shopping bag full of shoes. She put them on the floor next to the bed, while Chad closed himself in the shower.
“You didn’t have anything but sandals that looked the right height.” Valerie knelt in front of me. “So I brought you a few of mine too.” She lifted my left foot and put on a black one with a small heel. “See. We are the same size. Good thing we don’t have to do this for Chad. I don’t know anyone else who wears size 15.”
My mom came in the room. She caressed my face. “Can I do anything for you, sweetie?” I didn’t answer. Then I looked down. My mom had a large black sock in her hand. “Good thing Chad has huge feet.” She covered my leg cast with the sock. My exposed toes felt warmer already. “Too cold out there.”
“Pam, help me get her to her feet.” Valerie stood.
They got me up. I had to grab them both so I wouldn’t fall. “It feels weird. Ma, did you bring anything open-toed?”
“It’s winter,” my mom reminded me.
I sighed. I was used to boots or high heels. “Yeah, I know.” I sat back down and memories started yet again.
A vision of Giovanni and me at my favorite shoe store came to mind. I needed new boots. He wanted them to be high enough that he could fuck me standing up as Tommy could. After I tried on each pair, he leaned me up against the wall and pressed his body against mine.
When we found one that seemed it would work, he had me keep them on. Then we quickly walked through the mall until we got to the store where he wanted to buy jeans. He grabbed a pair and yanked me into the fitting room with him.
Within seconds, he had his pants open. Then he tore my panties when tried to get them out of his way. He only had to bend his knees a bit to thrust into me. He sighed and moaned as he pounded me hard. I was so anxious we would caught; I just held his arms tight and stayed as quiet as possible.
The memory brought tears to my eyes. It was hard to believe he would never fuck me again or even just hold me. At that moment, I wanted him to hold me and tell me it was all a mistake. That he was alive and well. It had only been a nightmare. If he walked into the room that second, I would run to him.
When Chad’s mom helped me stand again, I didn’t care what the shoes looked or felt like. “Is this one good?”
I just stared at her, without a word.
“What’s the matter, baby?” Chad lifted my chin and wiped away my tears. “Are you getting anxious?”
I looked up at him and uttered, “I miss him.”
Mindlessly, I fingered the ring that hung from my neck. The black dress had brought reality to the surface. Reality sucked. I dreaded what was to come. Chad was wonderful, but he couldn't erase the last few months. My life had shifted many times, and I bounced back from it all. At that moment, I couldn't imagine bouncing back again. It was too big of a loss.
When Chad cupped my face in his hands, I realized I had been looking through him. Suddenly, my feelings were all over the place. I longed to be with Giovanni but felt the same for Chad. Is that wrong? I was torn, as if I was unfaithful to them both at the same time. It was irrational, but at that point, I was irrational. I looked away from Chad, too confused to say anything.
He kissed the top of my head. Then he left the room. He soon tried to hand me four pills. “You need these.”
I shook my head. “No I don’t.” Sadness consumed me. I knew I couldn’t make it through that day. What's the point anymore?
“Don’t make me do it again,” he warned me.
I turned my head away and refused to take the medication. All I could think of was bed. Then I wouldn't have to deal with the wake or the sight of Giovanni in his coffin. It sounded good to crawl into a ball and ignore the world.
Unexpectedly, Chad grabbed my mouth and shoved pills in. “I told you I’m not letting you do this.” He forced water into my mouth.
I tried to spit it all out, but his hand clamped my mouth shut. Defiantly, I hit him with my fist and cast. I didn’t know why I fought him. In the struggle, I fell back on the bed. Chad landed on top of me. He kept his hand over my mouth until I swallowed. Then he opened my mouth to make sure I got them down.
“Stop it, Chad!” his mother yelled at him. “You’re hurting her.”
He turned to her. “No I’m not. I’d know if she was in pain. She’s just mad at me. If she won’t help herself, I’m gonna make her, and she knows it. She’ll be fine in a few minutes.”
I lay on the bed under him, angry and sad. My tears still fell quickly. Suicidal thoughts surfaced again. After what felt like forever, the pills kicked in. They seemed to work faster than normal on me since I had lost so much weight. I closed my eyes and felt everything slowly fade away, even the sadness.
Chad shifted his body. “Baby, I’m sorry.” He touched my cheek. “Please don’t make me keep doing this.” He sniffled. “This is killing me. I hate forcing you to do anything.” A few tears fell on me. “Crystal, this day is gonna be hard enough. Can you just work with me. Please?”
I couldn’t respond to him. I felt too numb.
“Just try, please. I love you.” He kissed my lips softly then pulled away.
When I finally opened my eyes, Chad wore all black. He looked nice. I wished I were able to enjoy the view or at least tell him how handsome he was.
He came to me, sat me up and kissed my forehead. “You OK now?”
I nodded, not sure about anything.
Then he put a dress over my head. “The doc told me you have to take the pills no matter what.” He put in the earrings he had bought me for Christmas. “These look beautiful on you.” His fingers brushed the curve of my ear.
“We have to get a move on,” my mom said. “We’re already late.”
Chad lifted me up. “They’ll understand, Ma. Her well being is more important than being on time.” Then he carried me to his mom who was in the kitchen.
When I was set in front of a plate of food, I pushed it away.
Behind me, Chad took several deep breaths. “I didn’t push when you picked at dinner. So you’re gonna eat breakfast. Don’t make me keep forcing it down your throat.” He crouched down next to me. “If you kept this up, I’m calling the doctor, and they’re gonna admit you again.”
I looked at him with fear. Then a bit of sadness came back as well. So many thoughts of my life with Giovanni floated through my mind. “I’m not hungry.”
He picked up the fork and opened my mouth with his hand. “I’ll make you eat some of this you know.” His eyes portrayed how difficult I made it for him. “I’m not letting you throw yourself away. I love you too much for that. If you don’t eat, your bones’ll never heal.”
“I don’t care,” I mumbled.
When I tried to turn my head away, he held onto my face. “If you eat this, I won’t bother you about eating again till tomorrow.” He let my mouth go.
After I let him feed me, our moms fixed my hair and put makeup on me. Most of the scars on my face were barely noticeable. It reminded me how helpless I was, but I was glad I looked more like me.
Chad paced. His hair was unruly. “You guys done?”
“Yes, Chad.” His mom sighed. “Relax and do something with that hair. You should just cut it.”
I got up out of the chair and slowly hobbled over to him, as I held onto furniture. When I got close, I lost my balance, but he grabbed me.
Dual Desires (Triple Threat Book 3) Page 23
