“Noelle’s on the tour,” Dominic explained and looked down. Obviously he missed her already.
Jon sighed. “We wanted it to be just the six of us anyway.”
“Why?” I searched their faces but came up with nothing.
Chad stood next to me. “What should I get you?”
I looked up at him. “Sprite?” I wouldn’t drink again until I was off medication.
“Be back.”
Just as Chad returned, Paulie made his way over to us. “Hey.” He leaned down and kissed my cheek. Then he froze. “Uh… Wow. Didn’t think you’d wear it again.” Then he glanced at my chest and back to my hand. “Wait. Did…” He stood straight and turned to Chad. “You asked her to marry you?”
“Yeah.” Chad’s eyebrows rose. “More than a week ago. Guess she didn’t mention it.”
I sighed. “I wanted to tell you in person, privately.”
“Oh.” Paulie looked away for a bit. Then he lifted my chin. “He make you happy?”
“Yes.” I bit my lip. I didn’t want to hurt him. “I shoulda told you the other day. I’m so sorry.”
Paulie put a hand on my shoulder. “I knew you had another life when I came back. I can’t expect you to drop everything and cater to me.” He crouched down and took my hand in his. “It hurts, but I knew it was comin’. The way you look at him…” He stared at our hands. “It’s the way you usedta look at me. I lost my chance a long time ago. If I could go back… That time in Atlantic City… We should’ve started over right there. Too much happened since then. I get it. Be happy. I’ll still be around if you need me.” He took my face in his hands and kissed my lips softly. “If he hurts you—he’s dead.”
I watched him walk away in shock. Will he move on and meet someone? Or did me and his ex leave his heart jaded? He was too special to be miserable.
“You a’right?” Chad sat next to me.
I nodded and took a sip of my drink. “That was… uh… weird.”
“Yep. Weird’s a good word for it.” Chad lifted my left hand and rubbed the back of it with his thumb. “We kinda had an ulterior motive to bringing you out tonight.”
I frowned at him. “So we’re not here to watch Jason play?” I checked over his shoulder. Jason and Darren set up alone. Micca and Chuck were nowhere to be found. “What’s goin on?”
Jon leaned forward. “Crystal, we’ve been keeping some stuff from you, to protect you.” He took a deep breath. “We want you to think about making some adjustments in the band. I know you’re not ready yet. And it may be impossible to play in your cast. The rest of us came up with a solution, and we want you to hear it.”
I started to get a bit nervous. Jon chose his words too carefully. Are they replacing Dean with Chris? Where does that leave me and Chad? I don’t know if I wanted to start all over again. It took us so long to meld into the band we were. It was not an option to replace Giovanni yet in my mind anyway.
Jon continued, “We were thinking… the six of us can form a new band. Tommy and Dominic play piano also, so we could put that in our music. Tommy could play for you if you get tired or something. What d’ you think?”
The five of them stared at me, as if they waited for an answer. I wasn’t sure what I thought of the idea. It was better than if a stranger replaced Giovanni. His letter came to mind. He wanted me to continue to make music. However, I didn’t think I could. Not without him.
Chad put an arm around my shoulders. “Giovanni wants you to keep playing. Would you at least think of writing music with us… for now?”
“I’m not ready,” I admitted. “It’s only been three weeks. It sounds like a good idea though.”
“There’s some more we haven’t told you.” Jon cleared his throat. “I’ve been trying to figure out how to ask you this without sounding callous.”
Chad pulled me closer. That made me feel I didn’t want to hear what Jon had so much trouble saying. Was he planning to exploit our sorrow?
Jon took a deep breath. “Since the accident, Triple Threat and Gasoline’s CD sales blew up.” He shifted in his chair a bit. His eyes flitted around somewhat.
Tommy suddenly spoke, “We wanna build on that momentum and start on another CD soon. Maybe show some pictures of you still in your casts playing. If that’s not too insensitive.”
Chad turned and leaned his forehead against mine. “And we’ll do a tribute to Giovanni somehow. We all want to get a tattoo for him. I thought a pair of crossed black drumsticks would say it all. Somewhere everyone has free.”
I was a bit overwhelmed by then. We were in public. I didn’t want to fall apart and make a scene. They all probably knew it, and that was why we didn’t do it at Chad’s house. It sounded like a nice thing. All of us with a tattoo for Giovanni would be a nice as well.
Chad pulled back a bit and squeezed my hand. “Just think about it, baby. OK?” Then he kissed my lips. “I love you.”
I put my head on his shoulder. “Yeah, I’ll think about it. I love you too, Chad.”
“One more thing,” Jon added. “I got you a lawyer. You need to sue Dean and his insurance company. They’ve been paying for your medical costs. Chad and I have been submitting all the bills. But, you have a lot more bills coming. They need to pay for Giovanni’s van and everything that was in it. Then we can sue Dean’s estate to pay for the rest. It wouldn’t look good if I just cut you a check from his account. We need this to be legit in case—”
“Stop,” I interrupted. “I don’t wanna know. Please.” Tears started to fall. I didn’t want to talk about it. “Can’t you guys do it without me? I can’t take any more heartache.”
Chad turned my chair and took me into his arms. “I’m sorry, baby. Some things you need to be a part of. To sue, you’ll have to sign papers and stuff. I wish I could do it all for you. I’ve been doing a lot of it without you. I promise you, I’ll protect you as much as I can.” He held me until I was able to relax again.
Soon, sound checks started on the stage. I took a deep breath and turned to see Jason come toward us. He headed right for me and crouched down to my level. He took my hands in his. “I’m so happy to see you out and about.” He did a double take, similar to Paulie. “You have two engagement rings?”
I took a deep breath. “Chad and I got engaged.”
Jason raised his eyebrows. “So soon? Sorry. I know it’s none of my business.”
“It’s OK.” I sighed. “No one understands so far. This is something Giovanni wanted.”
Confusion spread over Jason’s face. “Huh?”
“Hard to explain.” I squeezed his hands. “Never mind. Where’s Micca and Chuck?”
Jason groaned. “Long boring story. Maybe I’ll tell you one day. We got a new guitarist. I think you’re gonna like ’em.” He winked and walked away.
I smiled, glad he didn’t give up. Then I realized I had given up on music. I glanced around the table. My choices were let Chris join Gasoline. Or form a new band. Only one option let Chad and I continue to make music together.
“Chad,” Tommy called to him. “We have a benefit concert tomorrow in Baltimore we signed up for. Originally we turned it down, since we’d be halfway across the country. But now we’re not. Could you play with us? Chris wasn’t comfortable singing and playing.”
Chris sighed. “I didn’t say comfortable. I said it was easier to play the audience without a guitar in my hands.”
Tommy laughed. “Same difference.” He turned back to Chad. “We’d be playing as Gasoline though. Can you learn some of our new songs in a day?”
“Yeah.” Chad smiled. That told me he missed his guitar. “If we can get someone to stay with Crystal, I’ll do it.”
I was stunned. “Wait. I can’t go? Why not?”
“You sure you’re ready for that?” Chad put his arm around my shoulder again. “I didn’t wanna push you.”
I glared at him. “I’m here, ain’t I? What’s different about a concert?”
“Thousands of people,” Jon co
untered. “We’ll all be on stage.”
Chris put up a finger. “We could ask Paulie to come and watch over her. He’s been great with her when I have stuff to do.”
“Yeah.” Chad pursed his lips. “Maybe.” When I elbowed him in the ribs, he grunted. “Ow. OK. Fine. Only if Paulie comes. I’ll go ask him.”
Just as Chad came back, Phil walked up to our table. “Hey. Did she agree?” He had started to work at Demonfire a few days a week since he quit his job for the tour.
“She didn't say no,” Jon replied.
Chad sat and sighed. “Paulie’s workin’ tomorrow night. Maybe Emma or Sean can keep her company?”
“They’re home.” Jon looked around. “What about Tony? Anthony’ll let him off early.” Dominic’s family was quite good to us.
As he shook his head, Chad said, “No. She doesn’t know him well enough.”
“What about me?” Phil asked. “I can stay home with her.”
Chad laughed. “Hell no am I letting you stay at my house alone with my woman. You’re not to be trusted.”
“What?” Phil feigned being hurt. “When did I ever hit on one of your girlfriends?”
Tommy chucked. “You’ve had other girlfriends, Chad?”
“Shut up!” Chad glared at Tommy. “Not funny.”
With a smirk, Tommy nodded. “Was to me.”
“No grabbing her tits,” Chad warned Phil and pointed a finger at him.
Phil cocked an eyebrow. “Why?”
“They're mine.” Chad glowered at him. Jealousy was rare.
“Really?” Phil looked confused.
Chad put an arm around my shoulders and a hand over my abdomen. “Yeah really, mine. Hands off.” Then I understood. He was still sure I was pregnant.
“Fuck my life,” Phil muttered. “Fine. Whatever.”
“Hey.” Tommy winked as Phil took a seat. “If she agrees, you can partake in the groupies.”
I furrowed my eyebrows, most definitely confused. “Agrees to what?”
“To play again.” Dominic leaned forward. “If we can get it together, we can still join the tour.”
Jon sighed. “Maybe not as headliners though.”
A drum tap made me turn. Main Street had taken the small stage. Well, Jason and Darren did at least. The second thing I noticed was Jason played bass. He used to play rhythm guitar. Maybe Chuck left the band?
Then I heard a sequence of notes but saw no guitarist. I craned my neck to search the entire room. Suddenly, Paulie walked out from behind the bar. I couldn’t help but smile. The familiar red Fender slung over his body. I had seen plenty of photos of him and the rest of Reckless over the years. Not that I needed them to remember the first man I fell in love with.
Paulie continued to play as he passed us. He winked and blew me a kiss. Then he joined the rest of his new band. Pride filled me. He didn’t give up either. Then I realized how many times he had to change to chase his dream. I can change too. It’s not so bad.
I needed to take the opportunity at hand, before it was too late. If only to honor Giovanni’s memory. I touched the ring on my neck. Without another thought I blurted out, “I’ll do it.”
Everyone turned to me. Chad put his hand on my back. “Do what?” He had to almost shout to be heard.
“I’ll make music again, for Giovanni.”
Chad hugged me. “I knew you could do it.”
Jon leaned close to me. “Now we have to come up with a new name for this band.”
I nodded then turned back to Main Street. That could be us again soon. I glanced down at my casts. If I can play again.
Chapter 44
“This is not good.” Tommy paced the dressing room floor.
I sat on a leather couch and tried not to laugh. He freaked out because there had been a flood that morning in the Baltimore Forum main floor. It was a fairly new venue. Before that day, I had never heard of it. Tommy took concerts way too seriously.
“Is anywhere else available?” Tommy asked Jon when he walked into the room.
Jon shook his head. “We figured something out though.” He sat next to me. “Since the weather’s holding up, we can set up on the outdoor stage. They have lights and two balconies to watch from.”
It sounded like a great idea to me. The temperature had hovered around 60 degrees that week. Strange for mid-February, but who was I to complain? “Will they have the doors open for bathrooms and food?”
“Good question.” Jon got to his feet again. “Tommy, chill. I got this.”
Tommy rolled his eyes. “Not gonna happen.”
“Sit.” I patted the seat next to me. “You’re making me nervous.”
Chad and Dominic walked into the room with Crazy Mike hot on their tail. We had gotten there early so Chad could go over the new songs a few times. After Mike hooked up a practice amp, the familiar first notes of “Light It Up” filled the room. Chad and Dominic played the intro perfectly in sync as if they played together their whole lives. They were quite evenly matched in talent in my opinion.
“Holy shit!” Dominic cried out when the song ended. “Wish Dean had played it like that. You’re amazing.” He patted Chad on the back. “This’s gonna be some new band.”
His cheeks red, Chad grinned like a kid. “Thanks. Coming from you that means a lot.” He set his guitar on a stand and approached me. “Maybe you should take that off.” He wasn’t happy that I wore Giovanni’s leather jacket that day, but I was nervous and needed the extra assurance. “I never got a chance to clean it.” He reached for me.
“Don’t.”
I looked down at the right arm. The leather was torn in places and stained as well, both from the accident. It was black, so it was hard to see unless you looked for it. The lining was almost covered in our blood too, but I didn’t care. It made me feel closer to him. When I had to watch everyone but me play again, it would be difficult. Maybe Chad was right. I should’ve stayed home.
“She needs it,” Dominic said as he came up beside Chad. “We all cling to different things to heal. She’s doing pretty good in my book.” He smiled at me, which gave me a bit of confidence.
Crazy Mike leaned over the back of the couch and whispered in my ear, “You’re still sexy as hell.” I quickly turned, and my lips almost brushed his. “That coulda been fun.” He chuckled and backed up a little. “Glad you’re not scared of me anymore. I’d never hurt you.” He gave me a brief kiss on the cheek and left the room.
I stared at the door. He was called Crazy Mike for a reason. Sometimes no one knew what the hell he was doing or why. However, his words did what he hoped they would. I relaxed and sank into the couch. Everyone knew I was afraid to be seen in public. I had even asked if there would be a backstage area like inside. There wasn’t. I had to watch from just below the stage or the closest balcony. My vanity might be childish, but my looks were what used to bring men to see us play. Every time I looked in the mirror, I wondered where that hot woman went.
“Hey.” Chad crouched in front of me. “You can barely see them. I think we did pretty good job.” He helped me with my makeup, since my right arm wasn’t much help. A finger lightly ran over the small scars on my left cheek. “No one’s gonna stare at these tiny things.” He leaned forward and let his hand go down my back. In my mind, I saw the road map his fingers moved over. “People are happy you’re alive. Nothing else matters.”
Because I knew it was true, I nodded. From what I heard a doctor tell Chad in the hospital, it was a miracle I was alive. Not only from the injuries I sustained in the crash, but when I fell on the door. The jacket I wore saved my spine from being severed. I hugged myself, on the verge of tears.
“It’s OK.” Chad hugged me, when he fell to his knees.
I threw my arms around him then finally let out the fear and anxiety that day had created. It felt odd that Giovanni wouldn’t play, but Chris and Chad would perform. I wasn’t sure how I would react to the actual event.
“He’s here with us,” Chad whispere
d. “I know he is.”
That eased my mind a bit. Anytime I became overwhelmed, I felt Giovanni’s presence. That day, I was too pre-occupied to sense it. Around us there was a flurry of activity, but I focused on us. It was how I coped at times. After a deep breath, I let the anxiety dissipate.
I lifted my head and met Chad's eyes. “I'll be fine.”
“As always.” He kissed my lips. “Phil will have direct contact with Sam if something goes wrong. Not taking any chances.”
* * *
A few hours later, I stood next to Phil on the balcony. We weren't alone. VIP pass holders had joined us after a meet and greet with the band. The concert was sold out. It was a shock for a Monday night. The first thirty minutes we were there, I was hounded for pictures and autographs. I was also questioned about the accident, and if I knew Gasoline's fate. It surprised me. We weren't even able to enjoy the opening band.
By the time the second band took the stage, Phil had become protective. I was jostled a few times. Then he called to Vince to send up security. Just before Gasoline was to hit the stage, Rick hovered next to us. He only allowed polite fans to approach. I wondered if that was what Jon, Dominic and Tommy endured daily. I had obviously gained celebrity status when Dean killed my fiancé.
Sound checks ended on the stage below, and I shifted my stance. My hip bothered me, but I didn't want to complain. I looked to the tent set up behind the crowd. Crazy Mike stood in front of his equipment as he talked into a headset. The crowd pressed closer to the stage, anticipation in the air.
“Hey.” Tommy stepped up to a microphone and waved at the crowd. “Thanks for braving the outdoors with us.” Cheers came in reply. “Most of you know we lost our singer, Dean. My friends Chris and Chad were kind enough to fill in today. Please give them a big welcome.” He waved at Chad and Chris. who approached.
Chris lifted his mic. “Thank you, Baltimore. Glad to be here. I’m Chris.” He pointed a thumb to his right and looked up. “He’s Chad. Easy to mix us up, huh?” The audience laughed. “We’re here to make some money for our Wounded Warriors. All proceeds from ticket sales went to the cause. As does the merchandise.” He pointed at the merch table in the rear of the crowd. “If you can, please make a donation at the booth just outside the Forum doors. We have some amazing military personnel and vets here tonight who volunteered to help. Thanks, guys!” He turned back to make sure all was ready and smiled at the crowd. “This one’s for you!”
Dual Desires (Triple Threat Book 3) Page 37
