A few minutes later, we were back in the exam room. I looked at my right arm as the doctor did. The muscles were almost non-existent. The skin did grow back, but there were more scars than I expected. I was disappointed. So much of my body had changed.
Dr. Andrews moved my wrist and elbow to different angles. The elbow was sorer than my ankle. “Seems good. Be careful not to fall for a while, because the bones are still healing.” He turned to me. “How does it feel?”
“Weird.”
He and Chris laughed. “I’m sure it does.”
Soon we made my next appointment and got information on physical therapy. My arm was limp as was my ankle. I did feel lighter though. Then Chris carried me to the car and helped me in. I still couldn’t put my own seatbelt on. I was frustrated, but I had to trust physical therapy would help me get movement back.
On the way home, “Trapped in the Middle” came on the radio. It told me that we made the right choice about our music careers. I grabbed his arm with elation at a red light.
Chris smiled at me. “The next album’ll be even better. You’ll see.”
I tried to text Chad that we were on our way home but had a hard time with one hand. Even when I forced my right arm into place, it seemed to sag again. With no muscle tone at all, it was expected. However, I felt even more helpless.
* * *
When Chris carried me into the house, Chad was at the kitchen table. He stared for a few seconds. “You can’t walk?” Then he moved forward and took me from Chris. “I thought you were healed.” He had a worried look on his face.
“It’s temporary,” Chris explained.
I tried to grab Chad’s neck but couldn’t. “I need physical therapy. My arm won’t move either.” Chad carried me to the kitchen and set me in a chair. “You should eat. You’re still healing.” He set a plate of food in front of me and went back to working on his laptop.
Just as I was done, Chris let Jon, Tommy and Dominic in. I waved with my good hand. And Dominic headed right for me. “You got them off.”
“Yeah.” I glanced down at my right arm. “Not working yet though.”
He smiled and ran a finger over the scared skin I continued to stare at. “It could’ve been so much worse.” He swallowed. Obviously, he hid something.
“I guess.”
He lifted my chin. Our eyes met. Then he whispered, “No really. It could have. My wife died in a car accident.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say.
Chad shifted in his chair. “I’m sorry too, Dom. I didn’t realize anyone else was in the accident with you. Thanks for sharing that though. She needs to see we’re lucky she survived sometimes.”
“True.” Dominic hung his head. “Takes a long time to work through survivor’s guilt. Believe me, Crystal.” He grasped my right hand. “I’ve got scars all over. You probably didn’t notice them because they’re mostly hidden in tattoos. It took me a long while to forgive myself. Don’t leave life behind because of your guilt.”
Chad was suddenly behind me. He laid his hands on my shoulders “Listen to him. He understands what you’re going through.”
I glanced from one of them to the other. The new scars had gotten to me. Dominic was right. I had a bad case of survivor’s guilt. Although Chad helped me move on, I never forgot it was at Giovanni’s expense. What I remembered of the accident flashed by. Nothing could have changed the outcome. Giovanni was hit directly. Only Dean could have avoided the crash.
Dominic squeezed my hand, and I turned to him. “Scars can be masked but not everyone gets a second chance. You and I got lucky. We both survived, and we both found love again. Don’t take that for granted.” He leaned down and hugged me, as he whispered, “Anytime you need to talk, let me know. It’s good to let it out. Trust me. I was trapped in a cycle until I told everything to Noelle. If you don’t think Chad can handle your feelings, I’m here.”
“Thanks.” Tears fell down my cheeks. I hadn’t realized how much I held in to protect Chad. More flashes came to me. “It was terrifying.”
“Yeah, like everything moving in slow motion.”
“Exactly.” I never thought I would find someone who understood. “He died in my arms,” I softly admitted. Strong arms surrounded me as I sobbed. It felt good to let it out again. I had hidden the bouts of sadness as best I could from Chad.
His lips at my ear, Chad said, “I can take it. Anything you need to let out. I know this is harder on you than all of us. You been acting like you’re fine. Please don’t hide from me.”
I nodded, too choked up to talk. Their support was exactly what I needed. I decided it was best to write out my feelings. When I was younger, I wrote some songs that even Chad had not seen. I poured my feelings into them. If I wrote a song about losing Giovanni, could I let anyone read it?
“Do you want to do this another day?” Jon asked from somewhere close.
Since it was best to move on, I lifted my head. “No. I’ll be fine.”
Tommy sat in a free chair. “When do you wanna get the tattoos done? I got someone local I use.”
“No.” I shook my head. “We need to use Manny. Giovanni’s guy.”
Chad kissed the top of my head and stood up. “That’s fine.” He slid my short sleeve up on my right side. “Not sure if he can hide your scar with just a pair of drumsticks.”
“Maybe.” Dominic rubbed it with his finger. “They can add a background or a drum. We’ll figure it out.”
Tommy grinned at me. “We need to find a free spot of skin on me.” He winked. “Maybe I should let you search me.” He licked his lips and stared at my chest.
“Not now you’re not.” Dominic slapped Tommy upside the head. “We came here to work.”
As he rolled his eyes, Tommy got to his feet. “OK. So where we doing this?”
“Here.” Phil opened the garage door and stepped into the house. “I got chairs and guitars set up.”
Chad walked around to his laptop. “Thanks, Phil. I gotta finish something. Then I’ll join you.”
“Ready?” Dominic put an arm under my leg and tried to lift me but grunted instead.
Tommy chuckled. “Get outta my way, old man.” He lifted me with ease.
“Only four years,” Dominic reminded Tommy. He winked. “40’s just around the corner.”
“Fuck you,” Tommy spat out and followed the group to the garage. He set me in folding chair and let me go.
I quickly grabbed him with my good hand. “Wait.” I didn’t feel remotely steady. My eyes opened wide.
Dominic pulled over a second chair and turned it sideways. “Lean on this. When I got my casts off, I always felt like I was gonna fall.”
“Thanks.” I sighed as my weight felt more balanced.
A hand cupped my face. “You’re flushed.” Dominic gently griped my limp wrist. “And your pulse is high. You feel OK?”
“Nervous,” I admitted.
Dominic nodded. “Yeah, I bet. Let me get you some water.”
Sometimes I liked when he treated me like his daughter or patient, and sometimes I didn’t. Thankfully, that day I felt like I needed to be babied. When he soon handed me a glass of water, I sipped it and set it on the chair I leaned on.
“OK.” Jon sat and waved a leather case in his hand. “I put together all the crap I been writing since the accident. Some of it is really crap, and some of it we can probably use.” He opened the case to reveal his tablet.
Tommy pulled out his phone. “I have some lyrics too.”
“Me too.” Chris added. “Not sure about them though. Kinda sad. Lemme go get my laptop.”
I looked around. “I haven’t gotten a chance to write anything yet. Thought that’s what we were doing today.”
Jon cocked an eyebrow. “Aren’t you right handed?
“Uh, yeah.” I glanced at my useless arm and made a loose fist. “Guess I didn’t think of that.”
With a smile, Jon said, “We need to blend things. Maybe help each
other with the phrases or add to unfinished songs.”
“I can do that.” Finally, I smiled. Then I realized I needed the bathroom. My eyes opened wide. There was no way I could do that alone. “Uh, can someone get Chad?”
“Why?” Dominic had sat next to me. “I can help you.”
I shook my head and whispered, “Not with this.”
“Uh… oh… oh that.” Dominic smiled. “I’ll get him.
Chad was in front of me a few seconds later. “How do you want me to carry you?”
I grabbed his belt and hauled myself up. Then I yelped when my knees gave out.
“Fuck.” Chad caught me just before I smacked my head on a chair. “Will you just let me help you. It won’t be much longer.” He threw me over his shoulder. “We’ll be back.” He slapped my ass sharply. “No more of this independence crap until you can walk on your own safely. Got it?”
I grunted as he bounced me. “Easy. I gotta pee bad.”
* * *
After about four hours of discussion about each other’s song ideas and some contribution of my own, someone knocked on the front door. Chris stood, but we heard Chad walk toward the door. I was glad we had gotten more done than I expected.
The garage door opened and Chad stuck his head in. “Emma and Hailey are here.”
“Thanks.” Jon slapped his thighs. “Guess it’s time to quit. Double date night.”
“I got a date too,” Chris added, as he blushed slightly.
“Really? Calling them dates now, huh?” Tommy laughed.
Chris stared at his feet. “Um, well… This is really a date.”
Tommy’s mouth dropped. “You were my only hope.” He put a hand over his heart. “We all got whipped. Not you too.”
“Stop being so dramatic.” Jon rolled his eyes.
Tommy cracked up. “My woman may actually whip me though.” He winked at me.
Just then, Hailey stepped into the garage. She was dressed to kill all in black with spiked-heeled boots. “Have you been naughty?” She stalked to Tommy. “Do you need a good spanking?”
“Please,” Tommy mock-begged. “Give it to me, babe.”
She lightly slapped his face. “What’d you call me?”
“Sorry.” Tommy laughed quietly. “Thought you were playing around.”
She winked. “I was. Why I didn’t hit you so hard.” She swatted his ass.
Tommy smacked hers, hard. “Keep that up and I’ll fuck you right on the dinner table.”
“No you won’t!” Emma scolded as she appeared in the doorway. “There will be no sexual antics in my presence.” She smiled at Jon. “So glad you didn’t turn out like him.”
I laughed much louder than I expected. Jon glared at me. No way would I spill the beans, but she obviously was in the dark about a few things. I turned and tried to get to my feet, but it was still no use.
“Will you cut that shit out.” Tommy lifted me up and grabbed my ass in the process. “Chad’s gonna have a heart attack if you fall.”
Hailey leaned in close. “You and Chad up for a foursome when you have use of your limbs? I’d love to taste you again.”
My cheeks instantly turn red. No one else had heard her, but it was unexpected to say the least. “Um, we’d have to ask him.”
“He wants it,” Tommy assured me. “Believe me. He does.” He winked. “I let it leak she’s bi, and his eyes bugged out. You girls give him a show. Then we’ll fuck you both raw.”
I shivered and clung to his neck. “Sign me up.”
Chad came to us just as Tommy reached the couch. “I got her.”
“Relax.” Tommy set me down. “I’m not gonna break her.” He smirked. “Maybe drill her ass if you let me.”
“Wait.” Chad glanced around. “You mean tonight? Thought you were going out.”
Tommy licked his lips, obviously aroused. “Another night. Her, Hailey, you and me. Not necessarily in that order.” He waggled his tongue. “Up for some girl on girl action? Hailey’s got a thing for her.” He nodded in my direction. “Whatda ya say?”
“Hell yes,” Chad replied and eyed Hailey who had come up behind Tommy.
She bit his earlobe then raked Chad with her eyes. “Talking about me?”
“Talking foursome.” Tommy leaned back on her. “You in?”
“You know I am.” She looked at me as if she wanted to devour me. “I’m ready any time.”
Jon waited patiently until Tommy and Hailey moved away. “Hey. I have papers for you to sign.”
I looked up. “Papers?”
With a serious face, Jon took an envelope from his tablet case. “The lawsuit. I also took care of the insurance claim on his van. Hope you don’t mind that I only put his mom on it.”
I understood why he didn’t use Giovanni’s name. “It’s fine. She needs it more than we do.”
“This has both of you as recipients,” Jon explained. “I know you don’t wanna talk about it. You’ll have to do a deposition to make this look good, but I plan to work out a settlement. No one but us knows I have my hands in this. Try not to say anything. I’ll get you both the maximum the law allows. The rest will go to a drug rehab facility.”
Chad clapped him on the back. “Thanks for helping us with this.”
I bit my trembling lip. “Yeah.”
Jon smiled. “You’re welcome. It’s going well, so don’t worry.”
When everyone had said their goodbyes I yawned. It was only about 7:00, but I was drained. “You mind if I take a nap?”
Chad sat next to me. “What’s wrong?”
“Just tired.”
He smiled and kissed my nose. “Long day for you. We’ll go to bed early.”
“See ya,” Chris called as he rushed to the front door. “Don’t wait up.”
I chuckled. “Nice to see him excited about a chick.”
“Yeah.” Chad put a hand on my face. “You sure you’re OK? You don’t seem like yourself.”
“I’m fine.”
He sighed. “Let me warm up some leftovers.”
* * *
By the time I finished my dinner, I could barely hold my head up. It scared me until I realized how much stress I had been under that day. That always made me sleepy. Chad washed dishes as I drifted off on the couch.
“Ready for bed?”
My eyes fluttered open. “Yeah.”
He grinned and gathered me into his arms. “Shower first?” He sighed. “Make that bath. Don’t want you falling again.”
“OK.” As soon as he mentioned it, my skin crawled. Disgust at my unwashed arm and leg got to me. “Don’t let me pass out.”
“If you do, I got you.”
Once in the tub, Chad looked at my ankle and arm closely. “They did a good job. Not much scarring.”
I was too tired to roll my eyes. He was being nice. I could see my arm clearly, and it was heavily scarred. He loved me anyway. That I was sure of. I helped him with my good hand as much as possible, since I wanted him to hurry. My eyelids were heavy.
When done, he lay me on the bed. Then he climbed on top of me, carefully. His erection pressed into my thigh. “I want you so much.” He growled then looked away. “But I’m afraid I’m gonna hurt you.” He placed a soft kiss on my lips. “Would you be mad if I lay back for a few days. Until I’m sure I can’t hurt you?” He was more nervous than I thought.
I smiled at him. “It’s fine. I’m too tired anyway.” I ran my knuckles down his cheek. “I love you so much.”
“Love you more than anything.” He rolled off me and shifted me until I half lay on him.
I happily settled my head on his chest. As I listened to his heart, I smiled. “I can feel your skin now.” With a great deal of effort, I moved my wrist and ran my fingers through his light chest hair.
Chad had pulled my right leg over his. I could feel his other leg with my toes. Without the annoying casts in the way, it was amazing. I relaxed against his body and let the rhythm of his heart lull me to sleep.
* * *
Suddenly I woke up in pain. Chad’s leg was on my foot. My ankle burned. I tried to get free, but my knee did nothing. I shook Chad as hard as I could.
With tears in my eyes. “Chad, wake up! Please. You’re hurting me. Chad, move your foot.”
He jumped, and I screamed. “What’s wrong, baby?”
I cried so hard I couldn’t talk. Instead, I tugged on my leg.
“Oh, God. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He helped me roll off him, onto my back. Then he turned and took me in his arms. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know I moved my leg.” He wiped my tears away and kissed me a few times.
The pain subsided as soon as the pressure was gone. “I’m OK.” I took in a shaky breath, exhausted. “It won’t be like that forever.” At least I hope not.
Chapter 48
“You sure you’re ready?” Chad stood near the door to the basement.
I stood in the kitchen as I held onto a chair. “It’s now or who knows when.”
The casts were off for three weeks. I had partial motion in my right arm and leg because of physical therapy. However, still couldn’t walk steady on my own. The weather was nice for April, so Chris and I took daily walks to build my muscles. That day, Chris was out with Kelli. It was Sunday, so Chad had the day off. We did have a jam session planned. That meant Chris would be back.
Chad soon came down the hallway with a large plastic bin. “How about we do this on the couch?”
I nodded and grabbed the back of his pants to walk behind him. Along the way, I held onto various pieces of furniture. My stubborn nature prevented me from using the crutch. I wanted to walk on my own. When I was close enough, I dropped onto the couch next to Chad.
He turned to me with a hand on the lid of the bin. “You really sure?”
“Yes.”
He opened the bin and glanced at me. “This is everything I felt would be important to you.” He shrugged. “Some stuff I wasn’t sure about. So I threw them in too.” His hand closed around a book. “We can still add to this.”
I stared at the photo album. Tears threatened. “Yeah.” The day Chad gave it to me and Giovanni flashed by. “He wouldn’t want us to forget about it.”
Dual Desires (Triple Threat Book 3) Page 40
