A broken heart.
I’m ripped from my thoughts when a strong hand takes mine from my lap. I blink rapidly. Stripper dude comes into focus. I mirror the wide smile on his face. He’s down on one knee and I’m lost in those baby browns of his. He begins to sing his rendition of “Happy Birthday”. Honestly I stop listening to the words after the first “happy birthday to you” because his lips have stolen the show. I look into his eyes when I notice his mouth stops moving. I can’t wipe the silly grin from my face.
He kisses my hand then my cheek. “Hope you enjoyed your birthday, little lady. Enjoy the rest of your night.”
Still smiling, I say, “Thank you. It’s been very entertaining to say the least.”
“I’m glad that I could help.” He winks then gathers his clothes from the patio floor.
“Aww, the show is over?” Bianca pretends to pout.
“Sorry babe, I have another gig to get to.”
“Wait, before you go I have to get a picture of you and the birthday girl.” Bianca grabs her phone off the table. Stripper dude kneels down one more time and we are cheek to cheek as she snaps the shot. He stands, looks at the photo on her phone then gives her a thumbs up.
Bianca hands the phone to me. “You do private shows?” she asks him.
I glance down at the photo. We could actually pass for a real couple. A cute couple at that. If only Richard could see this picture. It probably wouldn’t matter though. Richard was never the jealous type. Or maybe he just didn’t care that much about me to be the jealous type.
Stop it, Rissa. No more Richard thoughts. At least for now.
I look up from the phone just as stripper dude is fastening his pants. “Of course, I do. Why? You want a private show?” He pulls his shirt down over his head.
“Maybe,” Bianca answers.
He picks up his ball cap, dusts it off then places it firmly on his head. “Well you know how to reach me, doll.” He waves his hand. “Good evening, ladies.”
“Good evening,” we all say in unison as we wave back.
Bianca walks behind stripper dude through the living room and toward the front of the house.
“Wow.” I sit back in my seat.
“Hey, what was his name anyway?” Jas asks.
I shrug.
“All I know is, he was fine, sexy, and I will gladly stuff dollar bills down that thong any day!” Sara added.
We all laugh. Just then Bianca returns.
“Did you ladies enjoy Romeo?”
“His name is Romeo?” Jas asks, seemingly disappointed. “I was expecting something different like King Ding-a-ling or something.”
I crack up laughing. “Leave it to you, Jas.”
“What? I’m just saying.”
“How was your first strip show, Rissa?” Bianca stands beside my chair and places her hand on top of my head.
I look up at her. “I have to say, Bee, you did a good job. Unexpected but definitely appreciated.”
“Glad you liked the show. I was a little nervous that you were gonna be a little prude about it but I have to say that you were a great sport.”
“Yeah, Rissa, you seem like you really enjoyed yourself. It’s great to see you smiling again,” Jas says.
“It’s great to be smiling again.” I rise from my chair. “And I owe it all to the greatest girlfriends in the world. Group hug?” My three friends form a circle around me and wrap me up in their love. I close my eyes and take in the moment with a huge smile on my face. Men will come and go but true girlfriends…they will last a lifetime.
After about thirty minutes of talking about Romeo, we clean up the patio, then Jas and Sara head home. I follow Bianca into her bedroom. Her parents spoil her rotten. They got her this place so that she could be close to campus. She just graduated last month from college and now has a paid internship at an independent ad agency. It’s only part-time but her parents still take care of all the expenses for this apartment so it’s no biggie. It must be nice though. I could only imagine having all my bills and expenses paid for and all I had to focus on was my career. Unfortunately for me, I had to drop out of school after two years to take care of my mom. That’s when she got really ill from breast cancer.
I now have to work full-time as a receptionist at Trentini & White to make ends meet. Well they barely meet. It’s my first job ever in an office setting. Getting the job was the easy part since Harold Chase, who works at the company as the Marketing Director, is a friend of the family and he put in a good word for me with HR. Learning how to do the job was a different story. I’d never seen a multi-line phone before in my life. I think I answer over a hundred calls daily, and that’s on a slow day with calls split between two other receptionists.
I’m a fast learner so within three months I was answering calls like I’d been doing it my whole life. Not to mention anytime I needed anything Harold was there to help. I’ll be forever grateful to Harold. He’s more like a father to me than mine ever was. That wasn’t hard since I haven’t seen my father since I was five. But that’s a story for another time.
Working at Trentini & White is good but I can’t afford to be a receptionist anymore. I recently applied for this Executive Assistant position that has become available in the Marketing department. The good thing is the position reports directly to Harold, and it pays more. The bad thing is it’s more responsibility and I’m not sure if I’m really qualified to get the position. My mom always told me to have a plan. She would say if I fail to plan then I can plan to fail. I had a solid plan when I graduated from high school. My mom getting sick and dying was never a part of my plan. Now I guess it’s time to make a new plan. My five-year plan is to get back into school. I don’t want to take out any loans to add more debt so if I can get this Executive Assistant job then I can at least start going back to school part time. I’m going to need that degree if I want to do more than just be a receptionist or an assistant for the rest of my life.
I sit on Bianca's bed. "I think I'm going to crash here tonight, Bee. I don't feel like driving across town."
"You know you're always welcomed to crash at my place. I didn't expect you to go home tonight anyway."
"Good." I grab her pillow and position it behind my head against the wall. I close my eyes. A tiny laugh escapes my throat.
"What are you laughing at girl?"
I open my eyes. "I can still see Romeo's fringed thong and his thing just flopping around all over the place." I laugh again.
"His thing? You mean his dick?"
"Yeah, of course."
"Say it."
"Say what?"
"Dick. I want to hear you say it."
I suck my teeth then close my eyes but only for a quick second before something soft and furry bounce off my nose. "What the hell?" I look down to see Mr. Rabbit lying on his side. "Bianca, why did you throw Mr. Rabbit?"
"Because I want to hear you say dick, Rissa."
"But Mr. Rabbit has nothing to do with this." I pick him up. "You're just an innocent bystander aren't you Mr. Rabbit?" I say in my baby voice then nuzzle his nose.
"Say it, Rissa, before I throw another stuff animal at you!" Bianca picks up Tucks the Turtle.
"Alright!"
A wicked smile spreads across her face.
I sit quietly then lick my lips. I'm not a dirty talker and Bianca knows that. I don't know why she's busting my chops about saying...saying...
"Rissa, spit it out!" She holds Tucks the Turtle up in the air then cocks her arm back ready to fire.
"Fine! DICK! There. I said it."
Bianca grins. "Again."
"What?" As if I didn't hear her.
"Say. It. Again."
I exhaled loudly. “Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Are you happy now?"
She springs from her chair then wraps her arm around my neck and presses her cheek against mine. My arm instinctively wrap around her waist. "Aww, my baby is growing up. She finally referred to a man's penis as something other than his thing." She kisse
s my cheek.
I push her away. "Whatever. You know I don't like using that word."
She sits on her bed in front of me. "Why not? That's what they're called. Was this your first time saying the word?” She gives me the “don't lie” look.
"No." Technically that's the truth. I've read it a few times in novels so I've said it in my mind and I've called people dicks before.
"So you’ve actually told Richard to put his dick in your pussy before?"
"Not in those exact words."
Bianca rolls her eyes. "I'm sure I would've been bored watching you guys have sex. Two geeky people trying to get it on." She shakes her head. "Not my cup of tea. You probably only did it in missionary, too. Am I right?"
"What's missionary?"
Bianca's mouth hangs open. She looks up to the ceiling as if asking God for help then turns back to me. "What's missionary? Seriously, Rissa?"
My shoulders rise and fall.
She shakes her head. "I'm gonna need a drink."
Breaking Out
Bianca returns to her bedroom with a glass of sangria. She sits on the bed then takes a long sip. “This is too delicious. Maybe I should start selling this stuff.” She sticks her finger into her glass and picks out a strawberry that has been sliced in half. “Mmm. Delish. Okay.” She sucks the liquid from her fingers then looks at me. “So back to you missy. Missionary is the sex position when the guy is on top.”
“Oh. I just call it ‘the guy on top’. I didn’t know it had an official name.” Bianca doesn’t say anything. She just stares at me. “Stop looking at me like I’m stupid.” I toss Mr. Rabbit at her.
“You’re kind of on the borderline, Rissa.” She laughs.
“I’m not stupid. I’m inexperienced. There’s a difference.”
She nods. “You’re absolutely right. But just for your FYI, all positions have an official name. I have something that will get you up to speed.” Bianca walks over to her bookcase, picks out a book then tosses it into my lap.
I look down at the front cover. “Kama Sutra 100 Sex Positions.” I shake my head then toss the book onto the bed. “Bianca, I am not reading that book.”
She puts the book into my lap again. “You need to read it. I’m not telling you to try all the positions, Rissa. I’m just saying that there are a few in there that may interest you.”
“But I like missionary.” I poke my bottom lip out.
“Rissa, as your best friend in the whole wide world I have to be honest with you. If you don’t break out of your sexual shell, you might not ever keep another man. That’s just how the world works these days. Times are different and you have to stay current.”
“Stay current? You sound like having sex is a trend or something.”
“I’m not saying that it’s a trend but guys expect different things than when our grandmothers were growing up. They want excitement, adventure, and spontaneity. They don’t want just missionary.”
I know this already. This is the exact same thing that Richard had told me a few times before he walked out on me. “Maybe I’m just not capable of being sexually exciting or adventurous or spontaneous. Maybe I’m just capable of being a missionary girl. That’s not so bad. There has to be men out there that like that.”
“Yeah there is. And you know what we call them?”
“What?”
“Grandpa.”
I try to suppress the laugh that wants to escape my mouth but the serious look on Bianca’s face causes me to erupt. “You are too much, Bee.”
“I’m serious, Rissa. Only old men like missionary. If you want a hot, sexy, young tenderoni like Romeo, for instance, you have to be more open-minded in the bedroom. We don’t want to have another Richard episode now do we?”
Just the mention of his name completely wipes every trace of happiness from my face. “Do you have to bring him up? I’m trying hard to get to a place where he’s not my every thought. I feel so pathetic sometimes when I think about why he left and how he left. Like who leaves in the middle of sex? Well, trying to have sex. I’m lying there naked waiting on my boyfriend to come back after he’s calmed down, and that was the last I heard from him. No phone call. No text. No email. No smoke signal. Just, Rissa why are you being so difficult? Then he dresses and leaves. Six months later and it still seems unreal. Like something my mind just made up. Sometimes I even question did Richard really exist? Was he really my high school sweetheart? Did we really spend every day together in high school for two years? Was he really my best friend? Did he really leave me because I wasn’t sexually adventurous enough?” I shake my head and squeeze my eyes tight to keep back the tears that threaten to make an appearance.
“We have to face reality here, Rissa. No matter how crazy or hurtful it is. I hate what Richard did to you. And not to take his side, I do understand it. We grow apart. We experience different things in life and want to explore different things in life and sometimes in a relationship if both people aren’t moving at the same pace then, inevitably, one person moves on.”
“But Richard loved missionary.”
“Until he didn’t.” Bianca takes a sip of her sangria.
“Everything was good between us. Had been good since our first time having sex our junior year in high school. I didn’t get any complaints from him until he became a pilot and started flying all over the country. I guess he started meeting girls that are a little more ‘out there’ than I am. He tried bringing it back to the bedroom and I just wasn’t comfortable with it. The moment I started telling him no, is the moment he became distant. He started taking extra flights. We rarely saw each other the last few months of our relationship. It went from being about spending time together to just wanting to have sex. I felt like he was losing interest. So in a way I’m not surprised that our relationship ended, I’m just a little taken aback by how it ended.”
“As the saying goes, just because we love them doesn’t mean we are meant to be in a relationship with them. We can look at this as a setback or a setup.”
My brows furrow. “A setup?”
“Yeah. We can look at this breakup with Richard as a setup for getting you to realize that you need to expand your horizons. You have to stop playing everything so safe, Rissa. You can’t go by the book on everything in your life. Some rules are made to be broken and if you aren’t ready to be a total rebel and break the rules, then at least be ready to bend the rules a little.”
“I don’t think I play things safe. What’s wrong with just taking the straight and narrow path in life?”
“Besides the threat of dying from boredom? Umm, nothing’s wrong with taking the straight and narrow path. Look, I’m not asking you to do bad things just for the fun of it. All I’m trying to get into your head is that you should be more willing to try new things. Don’t say no just because you’ve never tried something before. How will you ever know if you will like something if you never try? We are in our twenties, Rissa, if you’re going to get wild and crazy then this is the perfect time to get wild and crazy. Your twenties are all about self-discovery, exploring all the possibilities, seeing what you do or don’t like, what you do or don’t want. So by the time you hit thirty you’ve explored enough to know what floats your boat.”
I twirl my hair around my finger. “I agree that this is the time for self-discovery and exploration of new things. But I’m not sure if I want to become a slut bucket just because I’m in my twenties.”
“I’m not saying to become a slut bucket. Being open and willing to try new things applies to monogamous relationships too. What do you think keeps long-term relationships hot and sexy? Damn sure not doing missionary every freaking night.”
I can’t help laughing. “You’re not going to let me live that one down are you?”
Bianca picks up the Kama Sutra book and flips to the table of contents. “I’m going to show you some of the simple, yet common, sex positions that can reeve up your sexual lifestyle just a notch. It’s nothing too complicated but since you’re
a one trick pony, sort of speak, anything would be a step up for you.” She laughs.
“Whatever.” I roll my eyes but I scoot closer to her so I can see what she’s reading.
“Okay, here is one that you can try. It’s called the Glowing Triangle. It’s similar to your beloved missionary, but the difference is, the guy is on all fours and you will have to position yourself on his dick and you are basically doing all the work versus the other way around when the man is doing all the work in the regular missionary.”
I look at the diagram. “That doesn’t look too bad. Now if Richard would’ve asked me to do that, I would’ve tried it.”
Bianca gives me a sideway glance.
“I would have.” I turn my gaze back to the book. “Can we move on please,” I say without looking at her.
“Okay, so we have the Glowing Triangle. So now let’s look at another simple yet fun one for you. Hmm. Let’s get you on top.” Bianca thumbs through the pages. “The Slide. This is pretty easy.”
I look at the illustrated couple. “Hmm.”
“It’s easy and should be very pleasurable for you. You just lie on top of him with your legs together, once he penetrates you just rub up and down his body. Simple.”
“I’ve never been on top before.”
“And this is why you need this book.” She snaps the book shut. “As you can see not all sex positions have to be so ‘out there’ as you have made yourself think. This can actually be a fun thing for you. I’ve just given you two simple ones to try out on the next man you date.”
“Oh no. I’m not dating anyone for a long time. I don’t think that I can handle another heartbreak.”
“Okay, no dating. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t have sex.”
I shake my head. “I’ve never just had sex with a man that I wasn’t in love with.”
“There’s a first time for everything.”
“Thanks but maybe I can just try these positions out when I do decide to give dating another try.”
“Rissa, you have to learn new things other than missionary to keep a man satisfied. Nowadays men want a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets. If I leave this up to you, you’ll never come out of your sexual cocoon.”
Marissa & Mr. White: (Sexy Contemporary Romance) Page 2
